In case you’ve been living under a rock over the past year, people sort of lost their minds when McDonald’s announced they were reviving that delicious Disney’s Mulan advertised McNugget dip, Szechuan Sauce o the heels of Rick and Morty fandom. Of course, they damn near rioted when it became clear that not every store had these sought-after suckers and the ones that did, had about 10-20 dippers in stock. Leaving Szechaun searchers to lose their absolute shit and cry foul so loud that the fast-food giant responded with an actual revival of the sweet and sour condiment to appease the masses of seriously pissed off people. It’s like Rick himself possessed an insane number of humanoids to get that crap back into the fast-food chain. And if you’re a fan of the series at all, it’s not entirely impossible to think that either.
That’s right he and everyone else got their goddamn Szechuan sauce. Now let’s take that mentality about an overrated McNugget enhancer and apply to that to something that 100% NEEDS a proper revival: The McDonald’s Halloween pails featuring the beautiful McBoo and friends.
McPunk’n, McGoblin, and McBoo (as I just refer to all of them as for some odd and I know, incorrect reason) made their wonderful debut back in October of 1986 much to the delight of Happy Mealers everywhere. I know I’m not alone when I say, these buckets that forever reeked of delicious salty french fries are a beloved childhood relic for 80’s and 90’s kids. They embody the innocent spirit of a nostalgic Halloween much like nothing else. I remember quite clearly during a CBS run of Garfield’s Halloween Adventure (of which I own in pure VHS form, commercials and all that will be uploaded in the future for you) the McBucket advertisement (seen below) during the break. This was the time I first laid my eyes on the wonderous McBoo and friends and pleaded the parental units for a dinner at the creepy clown factory the following day. The three of which I acquired was, of course, Sir McBoo and you’re goddamn right I used that beautiful orange Jacko-pail for my own Halloween adventures of sugary death.
As it turns out, I wasn’t the only practicing within the cult of McBoo as the pails were a massive hit and continued throughout the years at the burger chain. Making McDonald’s the fast-food King of Halloween. Then, something awful happened. They began to change, not for the better but for the worse. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for change as much as the next gal. However, the quality and beloved nature of the pails went straight down the shitter once themes became introduced into Halloween Happy Meals. Long gone were the recognizable jack-o-lantern faces and in came cartoonish versions of the cherished bucket with Snoopy and My Little Pony splashed all over the damn thing. The pails became a tad smaller, the handles incredibly flimsy, not to mention the spirit of Halloween was taken right out of it once you slapped a Minion on it. It just wasn’t the same and goddammit, we want them back. Ok, it might be just my first-world problem ass complaining, but I feel like if people can raise enough of a ruckus to bring a friggin’ nugget sauce back from the dead, then why can’t we clamor for something that will not only bring some joy to nostalgic adults everywhere but children as well as I bet they’ll appreciate a better option for some REAL Halloween Happy Meals. And for fuck’s sake put some Halloween toys in there as well. Last year, you gave out Transformers and Rainbow Dash glasses. I mean, come on…
Two words: McNugget buddies.
So I say unto thee McDonald’s: Forget the ridiculous movie tie-ins and cash grabs. Bring back the Halloween bucket original design and watch everyone flock back to your chain during the Halloween season.
If you feel the same passion as I do here, I encourage you to share away and let your voice be heard. Tweet this at McDonald’s, share with friends and family. Let’s make this a thing. Of course, if you also think I’m just a raging nostalgic turd and I should crawl back into my Gollum cave filled with jelly shoes and Ben Cooper masks, then, by all means, tell me to go screw myself. Not sure what purpose that would serve but, I like to give that option in any regard.