Myers Has Finally Come Home In The Official Halloween 2018 Movie Trailer!

The moment the entire horror community and beyond has been waiting for the better part of the entire year is finally here Haddonfield residents! Lock your doors, bolt your windows, and turn out the lights, (see what I did there), the Boogeyman has landed! And this time around, Laurie is ready for him.

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Laurie Strode comes to her final confrontation with Michael Myers, who has haunted her since she narrowly escaped his killing spree on Halloween night four decades ago.

In case you need a refresher:

David Gordon Green directs the movie with a script co-written alongside notable funnyman Danny McBride. Every sequel associated with the beloved franchise over the past 40 years, including in my humble opinion, the just as great as the original Halloween II, making this 2018 addition a direct sequel to the original from horror master John Carpenter. Halloween is throwing out the Laurie and Michael being related thing in favor of a fresh new look at the two subjects. In which case, I’m sure John Carpenter was thrilled with that aspect as he has stated repeatedly he regretted the decision of the whole brother VS sister route. Carpenter is serving as executive producer along with returning to his roots and overseeing the film’s cinematic score one more time.

The movie stars Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, with Judy Greer playing Karen Strode- Laurie’s daughter. Andi Matichak who plays daughter to Greer and granddaughter to Curtis.

Nick Castle returns to the role he originally made infamous, Michael Myers, while stunt performer and actor James Jude Courtney also is credited as Myers in, I’m assuming, more demanding scenes.

The cast also includes Virginia “Ginny” Gardner (Project Almanac, Marvel’s “Runaways”), Miles Robbins (Mozart in the Jungle, My Friend Dahmer), Dylan Arnold (Mudbound, Laggies, When We Rise), and Drew Scheid (“Stranger Things”, The War with Grandpa).

Malek Akkad is producing for Trancas International with Jason Blum producing for Blumhouse Productions. Green and McBride will also executive produce under their Rough House Pictures banner. Zanne Devine and David Thwaites will oversee for Miramax, which is co-financing with Blumhouse.

Halloween releases nationwide on October 19th, 2018 to celebrate the film’s 40th anniversary AND Myers’ cinematic birthday according to the original franchise canon.

It’s time Michael…

Myers Has Finally Come Home In The Official Halloween 2018 Movie Trailer!

Michael Has Come Home! First Official Photos From “Halloween”!

Universal Pictures and Blumhouse just released the first photos from the new Halloween movie and holy shit guys… Michael has finally found his way home and he is looking PISSED.

Seen first via USA Today, the following pictures give us a better look at an aged Michael Myers (portrayed once more by original Shape Nick Castle) and Laurie Strode (resurrected by scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis). The trailer, which drops this Friday, has given way to a surge of anxiety from fans all over the world as the hype for this one is almost as huge as last year’s adaptation of IT. And who wouldn’t be excited to have a good chunk of the original cast and crew back handing out Haddonfield boners to fans of the William Shatner nightmare?!

Check it out, guys!

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Images via USA TODAY

In addition to Curtis, Halloween stars Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, Will Patton, and Virginia Gardner. Original Halloween director John Carpenter is back to executive produce and give us another nightmarish soundtrack for us to obsess over.

Halloween opens October 19, 2018. Stay tuned for the trailer this Friday!!

 

If McDonald’s Can Resurrect Szechuan Sauce, Then It’s Time to Bring Back McBoo and Friends Halloween Pails

In case you’ve been living under a rock over the past year, people sort of lost their minds when McDonald’s announced they were reviving that delicious Disney’s Mulan advertised McNugget dip, Szechuan Sauce o the heels of Rick and Morty fandom. Of course, they damn near rioted when it became clear that not every store had these sought-after suckers and the ones that did, had about 10-20 dippers in stock. Leaving Szechaun searchers to lose their absolute shit and cry foul so loud that the fast-food giant responded with an actual revival of the sweet and sour condiment to appease the masses of seriously pissed off people. It’s like Rick himself possessed an insane number of humanoids to get that crap back into the fast-food chain. And if you’re a fan of the series at all, it’s not entirely impossible to think that either.

If McDonald's Can Resurrect Szechuan Sauce, Then It's Time to Bring Back McBoo and Friends Halloween Pails

 

That’s right he and everyone else got their goddamn Szechuan sauce. Now let’s take that mentality about an overrated McNugget enhancer and apply to that to something that 100% NEEDS a proper revival: The McDonald’s Halloween pails featuring the beautiful McBoo and friends.

If McDonald's Can Resurrect Szechuan Sauce, Then It's Time to Bring Back McBoo and Friends Halloween Pails

 

McPunk’n, McGoblin, and McBoo (as I just refer to all of them as for some odd and I know, incorrect reason) made their wonderful debut back in October of 1986 much to the delight of Happy Mealers everywhere. I know I’m not alone when I say, these buckets that forever reeked of delicious salty french fries are a beloved childhood relic for 80’s and 90’s kids. They embody the innocent spirit of a nostalgic Halloween much like nothing else. I remember quite clearly during a CBS run of Garfield’s Halloween Adventure (of which I own in pure VHS form, commercials and all that will be uploaded in the future for you) the McBucket advertisement (seen below) during the break. This was the time I first laid my eyes on the wonderous McBoo and friends and pleaded the parental units for a dinner at the creepy clown factory the following day. The three of which I acquired was, of course, Sir McBoo and you’re goddamn right I used that beautiful orange Jacko-pail for my own Halloween adventures of sugary death.

 

As it turns out, I wasn’t the only practicing within the cult of McBoo as the pails were a massive hit and continued throughout the years at the burger chain. Making McDonald’s the fast-food King of Halloween. Then, something awful happened. They began to change, not for the better but for the worse. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for change as much as the next gal. However, the quality and beloved nature of the pails went straight down the shitter once themes became introduced into Halloween Happy Meals. Long gone were the recognizable jack-o-lantern faces and in came cartoonish versions of the cherished bucket with Snoopy and My Little Pony splashed all over the damn thing. The pails became a tad smaller, the handles incredibly flimsy, not to mention the spirit of Halloween was taken right out of it once you slapped a Minion on it. It just wasn’t the same and goddammit, we want them back. Ok, it might be just my first-world problem ass complaining, but I feel like if people can raise enough of a ruckus to bring a friggin’ nugget sauce back from the dead, then why can’t we clamor for something that will not only bring some joy to nostalgic adults everywhere but children as well as I bet they’ll appreciate a better option for some REAL Halloween Happy Meals. And for fuck’s sake put some Halloween toys in there as well. Last year, you gave out Transformers and Rainbow Dash glasses. I mean, come on…

Two words: McNugget buddies.

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So I say unto thee McDonald’s: Forget the ridiculous movie tie-ins and cash grabs. Bring back the Halloween bucket original design and watch everyone flock back to your chain during the Halloween season. 

If you feel the same passion as I do here, I encourage you to share away and let your voice be heard. Tweet this at McDonald’s, share with friends and family. Let’s make this a thing. Of course, if you also think I’m just a raging nostalgic turd and I should crawl back into my Gollum cave filled with jelly shoes and Ben Cooper masks, then, by all means, tell me to go screw myself. Not sure what purpose that would serve but, I like to give that option in any regard.

#BRINGBACKMCBOO.

Horror Hotlines: Did You Save Michael’s Victim Via the 1-900 Halloween 5 Number?

Oh man. You just gotta love those taunting yet glorious 1-900 numbers nestled in-between your favorite programming that would cost you your left nut if you dared to dial and rack up a $500 phone bill for some unsuspecting parental units. I love to refer to it as, the forbidden fruit of our youth. Thanks to the slasher-boom in the ’80s that reared horror to not only appeal to adults but young kids as well with Saturday morning cartoons featuring the likes of The Cryptkeeper and Toxie from The Toxic Avenger, it was inevitable to see 1-900 horror hotlines popping up all over the place trying to lure kids in while going in bone-dry raping your dad’s wallet. Unfortunately for me, I had already felt the unholy wrath of the seven of layers of Hell for previously causing a $280 phone bill for that damn beautiful 1-900 FRED hotline that aired through EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK in Freddy’s Nightmares. You have to admit, however, that it sure as shit gave you an odd sense of living dangerously while no doubt sprouting a few strands of pectoral hair on your chest if you actually mustered up the balls to call the “$2.99 a minute and $0.99 for each additional minute” retro hotlines. You felt about as bulky as Myers seemed to look in Halloween 5. And of course, even that film had a promo hotline for you to attempt a sneaky listen on that wonderful rotary phone.
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Ah, 1989; the year a relentlessly angry Michael Myers took his revenge for the fifth time. Directly following the events of Halloween 4, one of my personal favorites of the franchise, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers never fully lived up to its predecessor with that awkward storyline of little traumatized and halfway through the film, mute Jamie’s psychic connection to Uncle Boogyman.  An aging Dr. Loomis is screaming at the kid for what seems like the entire duration of the film, and the good doctor’s intentions have turned obsessive and maddening at this point in the franchise. Also, let us never forget about the confusing as fuck Man in Black bullshit that doesn’t get an explanation until a full movie later. However, for some reason or another, I just can’t HATE this movie. Could it have something to do with the fact I dragged my parents to take me to see this movie on Christmas Day in 1989 at my local, old-fashioned brick built movie theater? Maybe. Nostalgia fuels a lot of passion in me(obviously). But given all the flaws I see in this movie now as an adult, I did love it as a child, so you can’t just crush down those initial feelings. I also remember this installment had a HUGE set of promos prior to its release back in 1989, one of them being a goddamn Halloween 5 hotline. And I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I begged my parents to call it. But alas and per above, I was forever banned from calling any of these fun hotlines, so I never got to hear this one. However, per a lucky family member, here’s what I was told what happened once you dialed:
Dialing 1-900-860-0700 prompted you to guide a potential victim of Michael’s to safety while making you feel like a damn horror hero. The hotline itself aired directly after the end of television promos for the film. The voice on the other end would give you a variety of places that could be found in said film, like the Tower Farm or the Children’s Clinic, to send Michael’s pray for safety. However, any of these Haddonfield hot spots could just be a death trap so you could be very easily sending this character to the hack ‘n’ slash hotel. In which case, I think would have been more fun anyway.
Do you remember this little diddy and did you ever call it? If so, and you have a story, please comment below and share!

First Official Halloween 2018 Movie Poster Highlights an Aged Michael Myers

Here it is Haddonfield heads! The first official Blumhouse Halloween movie poster just dropped and Holy Shatner, Michael is showing his age! In which case, I myself can completely appreciate as the sequel is set in the present 40 years after the first Haddonfield Halloween incident in 1978, (which makes Michael 61 in the film).

First Official Halloween 2018 Movie Poster Highlights an Aged Michael Myers

While we don’t know a ton of details on what to expect from Blumhouse’s new take on the slasher grand-daddy helmed by David Gordan Green and co-written by Danny McBride and Jeff Fradley, we do know all other Halloween films, as we know it, are being disregarded, including the whole Myers and Laurie being related angle. However, the 2018 movie will pay homage to them in some sort of way, presumably with some fun Easter Eggs. Reports have come in stating that Jason Blum has seen a cut of the film in recent weeks and is “extremely happy” with the result.

The film has Halloween alumni Jamie Lee Curtis (Laurie Strode) returning to settle a score one more time with Myers, who is being taken on by the original Shape himself, Nick Castle along with James Jude Courtney.  Judy Greer is also cast as the role of Laurie’s daughter, Karen Strode. The Godfather of Myers John Carpenter is heading the film’s score along with an Executive Producer credit with fellow producers, Jason Blum and Malek Akkad.

Halloween will be in theaters on October 19th.

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“Halloween 2018” Will Pay Homage to Every Other “Halloween” Movie

That means we’ll get a Silver Shamrock tribute, right?!

Here at Nightmare Nostalgia, we don’t really cover too many current events and films, with the exception of course to anything referencing throwbacks to classics. However, this is Halloween, and the return of the one and only Nick Castle as “The Shape”. So yeah, I don’t really think I need to give any further explanation.

 

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Anyway as you may, or hey may not have heard, Halloween 2018 is set to be a straight sequel to the 1978 immortal classic with John Carpenter producing and overseeing the ominous score. And of course, one of the most beloved scream queens of our generation Jaimie Lee Curtis reprising her role as Laurie Strode. It doesn’t really get any better than that folks. That is until news coming exclusively from Flickering Myth this morning via an interview with co-writer Danny McBride who says the new film will hold references to the other Halloween films in the franchise.

 

“This picks up after the first one. The Halloween franchise has kind of become a little bit of like choose your own adventure, you know like there’s some many different versions, and the timeline is so mixed up, we just thought it would be easier to go back to the source and continue from there. It was nicer than knowing you’re working on Halloween 11, it just seemed cooler, ‘we’re making Halloween 2‘. We do [reference the other movies]. For fans, we pay homage and respect to every Halloween that has been out there.”

 

With no official title yet other than Halloween, the film is helmed by David Gordon Green with a script by Green and Danny McBride. Along with Jamie Lee Curtis and Nick Castle returning, the film stars Judy Greer (War for the Planet of the Apes, Archer), Andi Matichak (Orange Is the New Black), Will Patton (Shots Fired), Virginia Gadner (Runaways), Miles Robbins (Mozart in the Jungle), Dylan Arnold (Mudbound) and Drew Scheid (Stranger Things).

Hell unleashes on Haddonfield on October 19, 2018. Are you ready?! Stay tuned for further updates!

 

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Featured image via The Mad Butcher- Deviant Art

 

Vintage Halloween Horrors: The Creepiest Ben Cooper Masks Ever Put on the Market

It’s not an opinion- it’s science folks. The beloved Ben Cooper masks and costumes are a symbol of yesteryear’s Halloween. A time where making the neighborhood rounds in noisy plastic costumes while carrying your mom’s pillowcase for the candy haul, or if you were the cool kid, a McDonald’s McBoo Bucket, was the highlight of the year for many little horror-heads everywhere. Whether your Ben Cooper costume of choice was a Master of the Universe, or the doll of false dreams Barbie, I think we can all collectively agree that while we all thought we looked super cool, turns out we really were creeping the shit out our parental units with what my Dad refers to as, “Plastic Heart-Attacks.”

 
I suppose he has a bit of a point…

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Although completely unintentional I’m sure, there truly is no denying the subtle creep factor these costumes gave off looking back on them now with adult(ish) eyes. While of course, these collective images of plas-tastic nightmares are on top of my unsettling Ben Cooper masks list, I challenge anyone reading this to say that they could never picture a serial killer hiding underneath these simple, yet chilling stringed- facial huggers.

Happy the Clown

Ben Cooper Clown

Image via Etsy

 

Straight out of your worst nightmares, Happy the Clown surfaced from the company sometime in the ‘80s and in my humble opinion, is the damn creepiest of the many Cooper clown variants over the years. Possibly due to the fact it always reminded me of the heavier set of the trio of clowns from 1989’s Clownhouse. Just. NOPE.

Ghostbusters Egon

Egon Ben Cooper

Image via Etsy

This Egon mask take from The Real Ghostbusters Saturday morning splendor from the mid-‘80s is pretty much the scariest thing ever. My train of thought runs, the simpler the mask, the creepier it comes across. The mildly surprised expression from the Ghostbustin’ favorite makes for something quite eerie here. Give me the ghosts over this plastic nightmare any day.

Beatle Paul McCartney

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Image via Pinterest

 

This. Is just bizarre, and I can’t look away. Perhaps what is most perplexing, is how the hell this was deemed a normal mask in 1964. Vintage Halloween never seems to let me down as modern times doesn’t hold a candle to this kind of gem. As stated, my favorite part about this is that is not meant to come off as creepy. Beatlemania never looked so damn terrifying.

 

King Kong (1976)

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Image via Etsy

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Image via Ebay– Both equally as horrifying.

Because 1976 Kong wasn’t quite scary enough, the fine folks at the Ben Cooper Company just had to release this little number. OK, I know you’re probably thinking, this isn’t so bad? I’ll admit, this is a more personal thing for myself, as 76 Kong traumatized the crap out of me when I was a kid. Aside from the freaky mask, the smock is wonderfully designed with Kong in battle atop the World Trade Center. Which just reminds me of the gory as hell ending from the Dino De Laurentiis production. I got my big girl panties on. Bring on the jokes.

 

Hairy & Scary

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Image via Pinterest

The Hairy & Scary line of Cooper masks add a little extra edge and while all variants of the curly-headed mask are sufficiently frightening on their own, THIS gorilla mask races to the front of the line with the creep factor. Although if you’re asking me, the mask looks more like its channeling the Zuni doll from Trilogy of Terror. Which is why I felt like I would be doing a disservice to readers if I didn’t mention this sucker.

 

The Chattermouth Cooper Variant

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Image via Etsy

The highly recognizable Chattermouth Ben Cooper line that disables those muffled voices inside the plastic masks, and stepping up the game with a moveable jawline. Productive? Yes. Less horrifying? Not even a little bit.

 

Phantom of the Opera

phantom

Image via Pinterest

The 1964 Phantom Ben Cooper mask looks more like Leatherface than a Phantom, but maybe that’s why it’s so damn scary. The acidic burns on both sides of the face rather than just the one, gives this version of the Phantom in the Ben Cooper universe a slight edge, even if it’s not what we’re accustomed to seeing. I like that ballsy move. You have to respect that.

 

Hobo with a Bowtie

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Image via Etsy

Clearly, the Ben Cooper Hobo is modeled after the infamous melancholy hobo clown Emmett Kelly. If I’m wrong, there’s a hell of a resemblance going on there. Either way, you can’t argue the unnerving facial structure.
The smell of colorful plastic under your nostrils and vinyl smocks ensured that the “High Priest of Halloween” company dominated the scene of Samhain in not just the ‘70s and ‘80s, but for over 50 glorious years until the company’s fold in the early ‘90s. However, a recent exclusive with the son of the “Halston of Halloween” himself Ira J. Cooper over at Bloody Disgusting revealed that the company are in the early stages of a relaunch of the popular brand, giving us fans of what we deem, a true Halloween national treasure some hope for a return of some all-time favorites.

Is there a particular Cooper mask or costume that you feel should be included? Let’s discuss some creeptastic retro Halloween fuzzies below!

 

Check Out the 1979 Audio Audience Reactions From Carpenter’s “Halloween”!

I truly envy those who were lucky enough to experience a time at the movies where emotions ran high and raw; especially during a horror film, like John Carpenter’s immortal classic, Halloween.

During the glorious ’70s, horror grabbed audiences by the balls by pushing the boundaries of gore, foul language, and nudity to the point of people vomiting, fainting, and or being so disgusted to the point of walking out. With the release of The Exorcist at the end of 1973, that movie managed to do all of these for paid movie-goers. I guess nobody was really prepared to see a 12-year-old profusely stab herself in the crotch with a crucifix. (For braver viewers, that seemed to be the deal-breaker). Perhaps with the exception of last year’s controversial mother!, we rarely see that sort of impact on audiences today.

Kind of sucks, doesn’t it? We’re so desensitized these days.

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Maybe not as extreme as Freidkin’s adaptation of William Peter Blatty’s literary masterpiece, but Halloween had one hell of an impact on audiences as well. One-half of my life givers, Robert Butrico of Queens, NY, remembers seeing John Carpenter’s groundbreaking slasher during its first initial run.

“I was there with a bunch of friends, we were really excited about this movie. We heard it was so scary! And you know what? It really was when we first saw it. We had never seen anything like it. There were a few girls who ran out of the theater screaming. That was actually pretty funny.”

And according to the presented audio below provided by YouTuber  Kyle J. Wood’s DarkCastle2012, my father said that’s pretty close to how he remembers his experience as well. And goddamn I am so envious of all this. It’s one thing to be annoyed by loud and obnoxious movie-goers at the theater, and quite another to experience a joined passion of emotions during a film. From the sounds of it below, this crowd is having a damn good time! I especially love the, “He gonna get up again!,” and the random guy in the back shouting, “One more time!

Per the YouTube description:

This is ACTUAL AUDIENCE AUDIO with matching video scenes added (a bit “out of sync” sorry) that I tape recorded inside a Hollywood Boulevard movie theater in 1979—one year after the film’s initial release.

 

For fuck’s sake, can we get a time machine already?!

 

The Doppelganger Effect: The Horror of Remakes!

Chances are if you’re a long-time horror fan you’ve lived to see your favorite horror movie fall under the Remake Guillotine. ‘Guillotine,’ I think that’s somewhat fitting. Makes the process sound just as scary as we imagined it would be. We dreaded the news that Halloween, Poltergeist, The Omen, Fright Night and Last House On the Left were all lined up to be decapitated so new filmmakers could inspect the intimate moist jelly of some of the greatest minds behind titanic horror titles. Often times our beloved movies were nothing more than a quick cash in as studios banked on making bank just from a film’s title alone. Nightmare on Elm Street’s name would be more than enough to pull in an audience, or so it was believed. However, that movie proved to be dismal at the box office and left studio heads standing around scratching their scalps trying to figure out why. That’s part of the problem – the people (mostly) behind making these remakes do not get what made the original movies great, to begin with.

Slashers and exploitation films seem to have fallen victim most of all to this post-current trend. Both genres are notorious for their graphic use of sexuality and violence; normally, both are used interchangeably as a grotesque malformation of Life and Death. That’s the essential formula of the Slasher and Exploitation genres.

 

DVD Talk
image via DVD Talk

 

These are movies that elicit very negative feelings from their audience. We find ourselves somehow trapped within the Hellish circumstances of the tragic heroes and victims we set out with. For nearly two hours we will have our senses assaulted by hyped-up violence and the glamorization of helplessness against cruelty. Should you enter this seedy underworld of depravity and carnage don’t be surprised if you feel the need to shower once the credits roll. No one would blame you either. These are disgusting places we must stomp through. The topics handled inside are seldom pleasant.

Who in the new millennium would dare venture out with the goal to remake some of the most notorious titles in cinematic history? Never in my life did I ever think someone would get the gumption to remake I Spit on Your Gave. Then, that remake inspired two sequels, and, admittedly, I really enjoy the second movie in the trilogy. It offered us something new out of the familiar rape-and-revenge slough. But the idea alone that it was greenlit in the first place is astonishing!

 

What Remakes Get Right/Wrong

I remember back in the late 90’s someone had the bright idea to remake Hitchcock’s masterpiece Psycho. Why in the world was that ever an option? Just why? The movie happened and is nothing more than a shot-for-shot retelling of a film classic. Of course, it doesn’t hold a candle to the master’s vision. Now, on the other hand, the Psycho lore was rebooted via Bates Motel on TV and gained a successful fan following. Why did it work? Because it offered viewers something different out of the familiar lore.

 

Nerdist
image via Nerdist

 

Praise is due to the show Hannibal for accomplishing similar success. They managed to retell a section of the lore which we already knew, but they did it in a manner that had fans hooked and desperate to see what new grotesque beauties awaited us each subsequint episode. The storyline of Red Dragon has already had two cinematic interpretations, but this time around – even though it was technically the third retelling – it offered us something exquisitely new and innovative. Proving how the retelling of a familiar lore can (and should) be should be handled.

 

 

 

 

That’s where remakes work! That’s the key, the masterstroke of success! You see, I don’t attack remakes, I attack bad movies, and sadly most movies that are remade just suck. But there are plenty that gets it right. In the case of Hannibal, initially, I wasn’t prepared to like the series. How happy was I to be wrong once I realized how beautiful and profound this show was determined to be. It brought the stories to life, more like breathed new life into the characters, thus demonstrating how to do things properly.

Films like The Fly, The Thing, all of Hammer’s Dracula and Frankenstein movies, and even last year’s IT all proved to be successes. Why? Well, as I’ve already mentioned with Bates Motel and Hannibal, these movies work as remakes simply because they give us a brand new look at the familiar material. We’re not forced to watch a shot-for-shot retelling of a beloved title.

With the original The Thing, society was eaten alive with a growing paranoia that Communists could be living right next door. Who can you trust when there could be a dirty Red hiding just beyond your own front door? The Cold War was in full effect and was reflected in the spooky movies of that time.  When Carpenter released his updated take, The Thing no longer spoke about ‘neighbor danger,’ but focused on the terror growing in our own bodies. The 80’s decade was a war on drugs and unsafe sex. AIDS was a real threat and people were terrified. One moment a person could appear just fine and healthy, the next that same person would be diagnosed with a terrifying disease that would end in the grave. Society was very aware of how quickly our own bodies could turn viciously against us if we weren’t careful.

 

The Thing Wiki
image via The Thing Wiki

 

The Thing became a cautionary tale about how the body can transform with a viral enemy inside of us ready to malform our anatomy to suit its own selfish purposes. It’s no surprise that it was released during a time when people were being warned of cancer. It got to be that everything would give a person cancer. People couldn’t even feel safe breathing in the air they inhaled for fear of second-hand smoking – and you guessed it, that gave you cancer too. When you look at The Thing it’s a hideous amalgamation of swollen tumors that destroy and ruin all they touch. The movie was not well received in its day, but has now grown to cult fandom and is praised as one of the best sci-fi horror films of all time.

 

WiffleGif
image via WiffleGif

 

The remake of The Fly is about losing control of one’s own body.  All it took was one innocent night of carelessness. This body-horror classic has an underlining theme of cautionary sex, it may not be noticed at first, but once it is it’s hard to deny. Our unfortunate hero (Jeff Goldblum)  gets infected by an experiment gone deathly wrong. He took every precaution. He crouches himself into the womb-shaped sanctity of the teleporter he’s built. Everything is a go, but unforeseen to him, a single freak chance of fate happens beyond his grasp, a fly lands in the teleporter and the two become merged as one entity. The consequences are dire for him. It was a simple accident, one slip of chance and all of a sudden it doesn’t matter how cautious he was. He is infected, but he hasn’t really realized it yet. He has sex with his girlfriend because of course, he does. Once she learns of his disturbing fate his girlfriend (Geena Davis) has some vivid dreams about the consequences of sleeping with her infected lover. I’m saying the word ‘consequences’ an awful lot, but that’s what this movie is all about.  It’s pretty obvious that the social fear of venereal consequences is in play here.

I’m not one to argue that a good horror movie has to have come underlining social message in it to make it good. It could be simple coincidence,  or maybe some deep thought was put into the making of those films. However, my point was, in the case of these remakes and what made them work, they weren’t just a rehash of the original source material. They were social up to date and played on the current fears of the people. If you make a horror film then you better at least try to aim at scaring your audience for fuck’s sake.

The only way you can scare an audience is by engaging them with the characters, make what scares them scare us, and then, after earning our trust rip our hearts out. That’s horror.

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There’s no doubt people hate Rob Zombie still for remaking Halloween, one of horror’s most cherished films. To this day that movie stands like a plague in the minds of many fans. But this is what I’ve gathered from most of the people who hate it. They seem to praise the first half of the movie but curse the latter half. The first half of the film is a complete departure from Carpenter’s vision. It’s a gritty and uncomfortable look at a domestic meltdown.

Michael is from a highly dysfunctional household. The making for disaster is found early on in the movie’s opening. Michael’s upbringing is anything but nurturing. His mother’s boyfriend is a screaming, foul-mouthed abusive man who taunts Michael every chance he can. Being the only male role-figure in his life, the man is only too happy to mock Michael’s premature sexuality, calling him girly names that almost echo John Gacy’s own abusive relationship with his dad.  Even Michael’s older sister throws around oddly arousing jokes at his expense. For adults, we can laugh at sick shit like this, but this is all very damaging for the young psyche of an impressionable growing boy.

To top things off, his mother is a local stripper and her intimate way of living is constantly thrown in Michael’s face by the run-of-the-mill shitheads at school. Combine all of this and you have the gathering elements of the perfect storm. One of destruction, pain, and misery. It will not feel empathy, it will be cut off from the social norms of what’s acceptable and what’s illegal. You have the disturbed making of a true psychopath.

 

Jarvis City
image via Jarvis City

 

This is the household environment that spawns the likes of John Gacy, Albert Fish, and Edmond Kemper – all of them real-life boogeymen. Killers, slashers, serial rapists; monsters in suits of men.

 

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This is not the Michael Myers we know, and that made him fascinating! This was a problem, a toxic danger that could be building right next door (or behind closed doors right upstairs). Were we going to get some actual psychological inside-looks into real-life murderers through the imaginative eyes of Michael Myers? Or, what I’m trying to say is, were we going to get inside of Myer’s mind? Would we see through the eyes of madness and true darkness all from behind his mask? It was really exciting. We already had a movie that followed the babysitters, so would this movie explore a very evil world that is hiding in plain sight all around us? That heinous world of the serial killer?

Oh, forget allllllllll about that, my nasties. It doesn’t take long for this to turn into a near shot-for-shot remake (oh sorry, ‘reimagining’) of Carpenter’s movie. People love to hate this movie and use it as the poster-child of poorly made remakes, but I have my own criticism of Zombie’s movie. That being: we almost had a great movie! Almost. Had Zombie just stuck with an original idea, something like following Michael’s journey into – not only madness – but also his heart of darkness; in essence, watch him become pure evil, and go on a blood-soaked murderous rampage. Make it an exploitation film, kinda like how it started out as.

It could have been great and I feel we got robbed.

And when it comes to Nightmare on Elm Street, instead of seeing the exact same movie we’ve all grown up with, why couldn’t we see the Springwood Slasher before he became the Dream Demon? Why not show us his vengeful demise at the hand of vigilante parents? Start out with him being a good neighbor, someone who would walk your dog for you. Someone you ask for an opinion, and who is glad to give it. Someone who loves his daughter and part of the PTA board. You know, like actual serial killers from the past? They always lived across the street. Why not give us that kind of movie, something we’ve not seen? Then pull the rug out from underneath us as we follow Fred Krueger down some very uncomfortable places, places where little skulls sit in the smoldering ash of a furnace deep in the depths of his boiler room.

 

Addicted to Horror Movies
image via Addicted to Horror Movies

Why not give us something like the rise of the Dream Demon?

Freddy could have come back and targeted the households of the parents who burned him alive and made it, oh I don’t know, something more relatable and personal to the families along Elm Street.

Eh, what I’m getting at is these remakes that are hated so much could have been good. They had potential and a chance, and that’s what I gave them – a chance.

Now whereas remakes don’t erase the original movie (thankfully), they do pose a problem for audiences nonetheless. A person can watch a really bad remake and not want to give the original a chance.

Cinepop
image via cinepop

Imagine if someone watched that awful Fog remake and then had no desire to see the original one? They would be missing out on a great experience. I kind of dealt with that. Thanks to Quarantine I had no interest in seeing [REC], like at all. In fact, I only just watched [REC] this year. That’s the problem with bad remakes – they may turn people off of some really amazing movies.

Not to mention we now have to distinguish which movie we’re talking about. My best friend was so happy when she bought me Night of the Demons for my birthday. It’s one of my all-time favorites and she knew I had been wanting it. Thing is, she bought me the remake (yes, that has a remake too) when it’s the original movie I love. Bless her heart, she was so thrilled to get me that Blu-ray though. She didn’t know there were two out there.  Someone else sent me Texas Chainsaw Massacre not knowing it was the remake. They honestly thought it was Hooper’s movie. There are too many remakes out there and it does get confusing.

Now we have a Suspiria remake to look forward to. Am I mad about that? No, and I’ll go to see it. Not only that, but we’re getting Pet Sematary, Tommyknockers, and honestly the remake train doesn’t look to be slowing down any time soon.

 

 

To be honest I’m excited. I know that may shock some of my readers, but this was not meant to be some ‘I hate all remakes’ article. I don’t hate them, I just want to see them done right. IT proved a remake can be done right, and, if done so, will be a massive hit.

So there you have it, my ghoulies. This has been your Manic Exorcism once again. I encourage you to not let bad remakes ruin good movies. Keep checking us out here at Nightmare Nostalgia for all your retro needs.  Now go forth to enjoy the horror line-up before us.

AGGRONAUTIX Presents: The GG Allin 25th Deathiversary Bust!

If you happen to be a fan of the often controversial, but hey always entertaining, late GG Allin, then you’re going to want to cash that Friday paycheck and head on over to the punk-infused online store AGGRONAUTIX for a very limited edition item starring the anything but holy, Jesus Christ Allin.

Jesus Christ Allin

Since 2009, AGGRONAUTIX has been creating limited-edition Throbbleheads of legendary punks and rock’n’roll rebels. Limited to only 1,000 numbered units, this special edition bust depicting a zombie-like GG Allin post-death is the first of its kind by the wonderfully artistic rebel worshippers of the music scene.

Based on an illustration by Lou Rusconi, sculpted by Arlen Pellitier, and detailed by Eddie Bradley, this figure carefully hand-painted with detail. The bust stands at seven inches tall and is made of high-quality resin.

Expected to ship later this Summer 2018, the zombie GG bust is restricted to one order per customer, giving everyone a fair shot at nabbing one of these beasts. Bonus to the first 100 customers who pre-order this bad-boy, as you’ll get an exclusive “Live Fast Die” enamel pin!
If you want this sucker to torment your household just in time for the Halloween season, click here to secure yours!