Long live the days of Mom and Pop video rental stores and the VHS early screener promos that today, serve as a lost art of visual romance. Especially for us horror enthusiasts. Because hey, who DOESN’T want to see Chucky bust out an awful yet incredibly entertaining rap about how great the Child’s Play movie is?
In case you’re not hip to what the hell a VHS screener may be, basically, it’s an early release of a VHS tape sent to video store owners that will ultimately either sway them to stock the shelves with said movie or give it a hard pass. In addition, some of these screeners would be sent to the media for reviews. Hard to imagine a time where critics would have to actually wait on the postman to deliver physical media as opposed to a screener email that can be obtained in under 60 seconds, eh?
Oh, how the world has changed. And Freddy is hard at work here taunting a sleazy marketing rep in this delicious ball of cheese VHS promo for Dream Child.
In my humble opinion however, that’s what makes these clips so great and a must-see for any movie fan. While it seems as if Robert Englund may have skipped the on-screen promotions for this installment doubled with a not-so-great-look-alike, and it sort of comes across as a second-rate porno without the boner shots, the promo still gives some great info on the film. It also totally reminded me about that gem of a rap, Whodini’s “Anyway I Gotta Sing It” that included a special music video featuring clips from NOES 5- which you can watch here. Trust me, you don’t want to miss that national treasure.
So here it is! The unconventional, yet weirdly awesome VHS promo for A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child! Might want to watch it before Susan gets any ideas…
Special thanks to Youtuber Jason H. for uploading this diddy.
It was about this time or so a year ago when I came across a little Etsy shop by the name of NancyJars that instantly made me jizz all the retro fuzzies, (for my phantom dick’s sake humor me here). The glowing VHS lamp was so simple, yet so brilliant. And I needed to write about it immediately. Soon thereafter, other online websites caught on to Etsy seller Hayley Summers’ creativity and thus further contributing to an overload of orders and an assurance, that Miss Summers had her work cut out for her. However, it also meant that others out there like myself, knew that this was something special. And by the beard of Zeus, since then, Summers work has grown beautifully and the Etsy shop is bigger and brighter than ever!
Just look at this splendid national treasure fellas.
CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE VHS LAMP
While many copycat sellers have sprouted from the depths of VHS illumination since then, make no mistake here boils and ghouls. This is the original innovator of retro renovations of the VHS and now, audio cassettes of its kind! With the shop fandom growing, Summers has added all new pieces of nostalgic decor goodness to the NancyJars Etsy boutique for anyone looking for that retro flair for your little man-cave or beaver-dam. In addition to the original VHS Lamp of glory, the shop now has upgraded versions of the lamp with killer art, VHS Cover clocks, wall hanging VHS art, custom Cassette art, and all new GOLDEN VHS Lamps dedicated to the golden age of cinema monsters!
Check out a few of these beasts.
NancyJars happily caters to custom orders so if you have a particular idea you’d like to see VHS’d out, just contact the shop directly and you’re on your way to having one of the coolest pieces out there any cinephile will love! Visit NancyJars here to peruse the hundreds of options and follow Summers’ work on Instagram!
In my humble opinion, there really isn’t a horror franchise that bleeds the highest of importance to the genre quite like the classic Universal Monsters. Stories such as Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolf Man have been retold countless times over the past 100 years in film, starting firstly with 1910’s silent movie Frankenstein by J. Searle Dawley. However, nobody really pulled it off quite like Universal with its surge of successful flicks that put the fear of GOD into audiences back in the golden age of film. And MCA’s 1991 release of the classic Universal Monsters VHS collection was the ultimate spooktacular event that fans had been waiting to sink their teeth into!
I’ll admit, even though I was already a huge fan of the classics, the promos for the now coveted massive ensemble of VHS monster madness was what had me begging the parental units for $14.98 a week to nab one monster movie after another. Those flying VHS tapes towards your face before the beginning of each Universal monster flick in one of the original promos is the one I remember the most, and also served to hypnotize me into really expanding this ever-growing stack of VHS Universal goodness. And the list just seemed to grow every time we snagged a new cassette!
Slick move there MCA/ Universal Home Video. Mesmerizing the shit out of me with that enthusiastic voice-over urging me to visit my local retailer to ask for the Universal Studios Classic Monster Collection in a dark and serious tone like I meant fuckin’ business. I’m also going to tell you that I totally did that too. It was absolutely worth both the giggles and awkward stares from the guy behind the Video Rental counter.
Ever sit in bad late a night trying to read your favorite Stephen King novel all the while trying not to disturb your partner? Of course, I know they make book lights, those weird headset lights, and all those other illuminated contraptions for such a problem. But these are just way more fun than an uncomfortable hunk of metal on your head, and frankly, wicked cooler as well. This past Summer, I stumbled upon the most beautiful little Etsy shop filled with VHS fuzzies of glory. And goddamn if it isn’t worth another shout out. Behold, the Horror VHS Lamps!
Constructed by Etsy seller NancyJars (Hayley Summers), these customized glorious VHS cassettes are repurposed into table-top night lights perfect for any retro lover of pop culture. Each lamp is uniquely made per the buyer’s choice as you can customize one of your very own regarding the front cover, choice of colored lights, and when requested, will use an original VHS for that ultimate retro feel.
What’s even better is that the lights are battery powered LEDs and are completely safe and heat free! So if you’re buying one for a child’s room, a bit of extra reassurance for you. Check out below a sample of what’s currently available from the UK based Etsy shop, or contact the store directly by clicking here to get one customized just for you!
I really don’t think I could pass up this gem.
More recently, upon the success and massive demand for the appropriately named lamps “VHS Brightlights”, Summers dabbled into making desktop timepieces. Taking old-fashioned VHS cases, much like the ones you’d find at your local mom and pop video rental shop back in the day, and transforming them into working clocks perfect for your office desk!
And of course, your’s truly had to have one for my own little work area.
Make sure to follow VHS Brightlights on Instagram by clicking here!