Tag Archives: Nightmare Nostalgia

Retro Cult Hits From Wes Craven and Dario Argento Coming in July From Arrow Video

July is shaping up to be Arrow Video’s very own blockbuster season with a multitude of new releases making up a perfect month of cult film viewing. If you, much like myself, are avoiding boob and ball sweat season like a vampire avoiding a sunburn, then sitting in the A/C with an icy-cold drink with some old favorites smothered in high resolution is the way to go.

Here’s what’s new to good ole’ Arrow Video this coming July.

The Complete Sartana [Limited Edition 5-disc Blu-ray] (7/3)

AV151.jpg

The crown jewel of Arrow’s July releases comes in the form of The Complete Sartana. This limited edition 5-disc set features all five original Sartana movies – If You Meet Sartana Pray for Your Death,
I Am Sartana Your Angel of DeathI Am Sartana Trade Your Guns for a CoffinHave a Good Funeral My Friend…Sartana Will Pay and Light the Fuse…Sartana is Coming. Aside from having some of the greatest film titles in the history of cinema, the creation of the Sartana character is a landmark moment within the Spaghetti Western subgenre because rather than just be a cheap imitation of
The Man With No Name it created something new and interesting and borrowed from not only Westerns but from the likes of James Bond as well. This must-own set features all five films in brand-new restorations and a stable’s worth of special features.
The Last House On The Left [Limited Edition] (7/3)
AV143
The next gem from Arrow this month is the directorial debut of Wes Craven, The Last House on the Left. The film justly retains its reputation as one of the most harrowing cinematic experiences of all time, nearly half a century on from its original release making. This is the definitive edition of one of the true watershed moments in horror history.
The Cat O’ Nine Tails [Blu-ray] (7/3)
AV155
Dario Argento further cements his reputation as the master of the giallo thriller in the classic The Cat O’ Nine Tails. Co-starring Catherine Spaak (Il Sorpasso) and Rada Rassimov (Baron Blood), and featuring another nerve-jangling score by the great Ennio Morricone (The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly), this remains one of Argento’s most suspenseful and underrated films.
AV156
Fans of Seijun Suzuki’s yakuza films should be on the watch for Detective Bureau 2-3 Go to Hell Bastards!, which arrives on Blu-ray early in the month. Starring original Diamond Guy, Jo Shishido, this hard-hitting, rapid-fire yakuza film redefined the Japanese crime drama.
Doom Asylum (7/17)
AV154
Horror fans are well catered for too, as 1980s splatter slasher Doom Asylum arrives on Blu-ray. Starring Kristen Davis of Sex and the City fame, it sees a group of randy teenagers go up against a hideously deformed maniac armed with a wide selection of surgical tools. Funny and gory in equal measure, it’s one of the best slashers of the 80s. 
AV149
And if your horror bent turns to giallo, Arrow Video have that covered as well, with a 2K restoration of Sergio Martino’s The Case of the Scorpion’s Tale. Combining intricate plotting, shocking violence and beautiful views of the Greek coast, this is a classic gialli that overflow with European talent.
AA032.jpg
Arrow Academy releases a collection including the fifth and sixth films by the masterful South Korean filmmaker Hong Sangsoo (Women is the Future of Man and Tale of Cinema). Sangsoo has been favorably compared to the great French observer of human foibles, Eric Rohmer.
AV157.jpg
Arrow Video finishes the month by returning to genre-bending sci-fi with The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey. This New Zealand cult classic from Vincent Ward seamlessly blends time travel, sci-fi, and medieval fantasy to create a story unlike anything you’ve seen before.

Bram Stoker’s “Shadowbuilder” Is Making Its Blu-Ray Debut at MVD Rewind!

From the mastermind of the original horrific night stalker Dracula, comes the ultimate battle between the good of humanity and one pissed off demon that was summoned to Earth, (thanks jerk-off Archbishop) Bram Stoker’s Shadowbuilder! And for the first time ever, getting a proper Blu-Ray release courtesy of our friends at the retro-loving cinematic restorations market, MVD REWIND!

https://mvdshop.com/collections/mvd-rewind

 

Featuring an all-star cast that includes Michael Rooker (Guardians of the Galaxy), Leslie Hope (Crimson Peak), Kevin Zegers (Dawn of the Dead) and Tony Todd (Candyman), Shadowbuilder is slated to hit the online store with a ton of new and exciting features including a kick-ass collectable poster this August 28th, 2018!

Bonus Feature Include:

  • High Definition Blu-ray (1080p) presentation of the main feature.
  • Original 2.0 Stereo Audio (Uncompressed PCM on the Blu-ray)
  • Audio Commentary from Director Jamie Dixon
  • NEW! ‘Making of Shadowbuilder’ featurette (HD, 33:22) (featuring director Jamie Dixon, writer Michael Stokes and stars Andrew Jackson (The Shadowbuilder) and Tony Todd (Covey)
  • NEW! ‘Shadowbuilder: Visual Effects’ featurette (HD, 13:26)
  • NEW! ‘Shadowbuilder: Kevin Zegers’ featurette (HD, 5:00)
  • Reversible, 2-Sided Artwork
  • Spanish Subtitles
  • Original Theatrical Trailer
  • Collectible Poster

 

Official Synopsis:

A demon is summoned to take the soul of a young boy, who has the potential to become a saint. If the demon succeeds, it will open a doorway to Hell, blazing a terrifying trail of destruction, possession and mayhem and destroy humanity. Now the fate of the world hinges on the final outcome of a renegade priest’s battle with the soul eating Shadowbuilder .

Also, just check out this reversible cover art! Be sure to pick this one up to add to your retro horror movie collection!

shadowbuilder 2

 

That One Time We All Thought The Undertaker Killed The Ultimate Warrior

A date that will forever live in glorious infamy for me would be March 26, 1991. A day where all my dreams of brightly colored outfits, incredible arena entrance music, and the ever so amazing Tonka Wrestling Buddies and giant Hulk foam fingers being sold up and down the aisles of the Thomas and Mack arena in lieu of overpriced bags of popcorn. Ok, there was that too but as an eight-year-old, I needed those damn buddies to smack my little brother in the face with just like the TV commercials. Anyway, it was my first LIVE WWF all-star that would later air on Superstars of Wrestling and I was here for it. Yep. I was pretty goddamn excited for the show. I was about to see all my muscular heroes: Hulk Hogan, Legion of Doom, Randy Savage, and of course, the goddamn Undertaker who had just made his debut several months prior at the 1990 Survivor Series. So yeah, it was pretty exciting guys.

That One Time We All Thought The Undertaker Killed The Ultimate Warrior

About halfway through the program that involved exciting matches between superstars and also filler matches with “jobber” wrestlers, the attention from the ring was drawn to a dark corner of the stadium. The dim lighting gave way to what looked like, a grimly decorated memorial service with gothic candles and wreaths of flowers strewn about. OOOOOOOOHHHHH YESSSSSSSS. It was time for the mother-fuckin’ Funeral Parlor with Sir Paul of Bearers- a sideshow skit notorious in the WWF glory days where a superstar or manager hosts another guest into their realm. And usually ends up in a fight more or less. We can all thank the Rowdy one for starting that treasure up with Piper’s Pit. Anyway, today’s guest was the ever so popular Ultimate Warrior, and little did we know shit was about to get really intense.

Before we get into it, and I may be opening myself up for a lot of turmoil here, I was never really a fan of the Warrior. I can’t explain it other than, maybe I felt like he was taking away from Hogan’s glory. Yes, I know the torch was set up to be passed to him, but I just wasn’t buying it even as a seven-year-old. My little brother, on the other hand, was a die-hard fan of the Warrior. And I had a new-found admiration for this dark, brooding figure that was making waves in the world of wrestling. And holy shit, this was a tense moment for my little brother and I. His favorite wrestler was about to enter the Funeral Parlor with one of my favorites, so it was as if we were about to have a “who has the bigger dick here” sibling battle in the sense these big burly men were representing us. Yes, I’m a female. But that doesn’t mean I can’t measure out my “Phantom Dick” too? Why be sexist here?

Back to the story.

Ok, so here we are. Bearer is setting up for the show with his “Paul Bearer-ish” ramblings and Warrior comes out doing his growl and all that jazz. Bearer is stoked to see he made the appearance because apparently, The Undertaker has made quite the gift for him-his own custom casket! What a sweet gesture, eh? Anyway, the casket was covered with a black tarp-like sheet and once revealed, the Warrior looked kind of freaked out. Which pretty much made all my insides giggle. Paul commences to taunt the crap out of him by indeed, pointing out how scurred he really is of death, and of course, the Undertaker. Warrior starts getting all huffy, pointing his finger in Paul’s face mumbling some gruffs or something, and out from behind out of nowhere, Undertaker comes at him! Beats up on him pretty good, and manages to stuff the Warrior into his own coffin. A stunned, yet still resistant Warrior tries to fight the closing of the lid, but unsuccessfully. I sort of screamed with delight, not going to lie and sneered at my brother who was held up by my father so his tinier self could see the action better. Victorious, Undertaker and Bearer retreat slowly back to the dressing room and here we are, Warrior stuck in a casket. Now we have a bunch of WWF officials trying to pry this thing open in front of a crowd of thousands. After what seems like an eternity, and it was truly only about maybe 5 minutes, they finally get the sucker open to reveal a lifeless warrior.

And that’s when a sea of tears came about to just about every kid in the crowd, including my brother. I say just about every kid because I was laughing hysterically like the sick little bastard I was, and well, still am I guess. He literally asked our Dad with tears welling up and stuttering, “Is he dead?!” And then I got to thinking under all that, “haha my guy just owned your guy,” well shit. Maybe something bad happened here! Remember now, we were little kids, thus thinking anything here was FAKE was not a thing. It was all very real to us. And then I started to get a little scared myself. Like holy shit, maybe he actually killed the guy! My parents had to assure us that everything would be ok, and of course, it was magically. But hey, we did get some sick as hell Wrestling Buddies out of it! Which is what I was eyeing the whole time anyway. So thanks to that little skit that scared the ever-loving shit out of us and every goddamn kid at Thomas and Mack, I totally got myself a bad-ass toy. The Warrior wasn’t so bad after all!

 

As “JAWS 2” Turns 40, Let’s Look At the Rare, Extended Helicopter Attack Scene!

The epic sequel to Speilberg’s 1975 film that had us all fearing for our lives stepping foot unto a beach, turns the classic 40 years young today. And to celebrate, I’m showcasing what the MMPA decided to censor to audiences theatrically back in 1978 for JAWS 2– the goddamn death of the helicopter pilot! And if you haven’t seen it, trust me, it’s so damn satisfying.

As "JAWS 2" Turns 40, Let's Look At the Rare, Extended Helicopter Attack Scene!

 

Yes, friends, another animatronic Bruce came back to terrorize Amity Island as revenge for Bruce numero uno being blown to smithereens by the local sheriff. While I certainly have a lot of love for this movie, I mean fucken aye it’s JAWS people, it certainly restricted itself on the lack of blood as opposed to the first film. In fairness, there wasn’t a TON of gore in the original JAWS. However, this one had barely any at all. And we’re talking shark attacks here! You’d assume there would be buckets of red corn syrup all over the damn screen. But alas, on the heels of the mondo success of the first film and cringy studio execs, JAWS 2 had to be watered down a tad to appease the pearl clutchers of the generation.

Before we get to the scene in question, that was shown during various TV runs during the 80’s (which is why I even knew it existed), can we just appreciate just how badass Bruce II really is? I mean, this shark seems ten times scarier and more malevolent than it’s brother, cousin, whatever from the first movie. Not only does it take down the water skier in the first half of the film, but the boat and driver with it resulting in blowing the damn thing up. Of course, that was the work of the obviously terrified boat driver in the midst of a Great White eating her boat, but eh, gotta give credit to Bruce II for making it possible. And then we have this wonderful helicopter scene, in which if you’ve seen the cut version only, kind of raises some questions on the whereabouts of the pilot.

Here we have this poor guy just trying to do his damn job and help these teenagers out. Bruce II isn’t having any of this shit. He’s like, “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO HELP THESE KIDS! I’LL SHOW YOU BY GOD.” And he sinks a friggin’ helicopter. But, what the hell happened to the pilot? We can just assume he drowned if anything. And he does of course, but we actually get to see it this time. And it looks as if he serves as a tasty snack after all for the hungry island visitor. Visual satisfaction at the very least. Also, if you listen very closely, the pilot’s screams sound an awful lot like Hooper’s when he’s attacked underwater in the shark cage.

So here it is! Originally uploaded on YouTube by RetroTV from an ABC original airing complete with a LEGGS pantyhose commercial at the end to break away. Because, you know, that’s super important here. Enjoy and happy anniversary JAWS 2!

AGGRONAUTIX Presents: The GG Allin 25th Deathiversary Bust!

If you happen to be a fan of the often controversial, but hey always entertaining, late GG Allin, then you’re going to want to cash that Friday paycheck and head on over to the punk-infused online store AGGRONAUTIX for a very limited edition item starring the anything but holy, Jesus Christ Allin.

Jesus Christ Allin

Since 2009, AGGRONAUTIX has been creating limited-edition Throbbleheads of legendary punks and rock’n’roll rebels. Limited to only 1,000 numbered units, this special edition bust depicting a zombie-like GG Allin post-death is the first of its kind by the wonderfully artistic rebel worshippers of the music scene.

Based on an illustration by Lou Rusconi, sculpted by Arlen Pellitier, and detailed by Eddie Bradley, this figure carefully hand-painted with detail. The bust stands at seven inches tall and is made of high-quality resin.

Expected to ship later this Summer 2018, the zombie GG bust is restricted to one order per customer, giving everyone a fair shot at nabbing one of these beasts. Bonus to the first 100 customers who pre-order this bad-boy, as you’ll get an exclusive “Live Fast Die” enamel pin!
If you want this sucker to torment your household just in time for the Halloween season, click here to secure yours!

Smell the Nostalgic Scent of Retro Slimer Fruit Snacks in Candle Form!

I think I speak for a bulk of 90’s kids when I say during that early era, we had four basic food groups on which we derived the energy from to play outdoors until those street lights flipped on: Cereal, Fruit Juice Boxes, Pizza Bites, and of course the ever so versatile Fruit Snacks. Of course, in the Summer, I ran over my little brother to get to the Ice Cream truck to nab my WWF Ice Cream bar with a collectible card upping my food group count to a respectable five. However, the illustrious fruit snack was a mainstay all-year long and made for a great pool-side snack! Even when the hellish rays of the sun would melt those little shapes of sharks or dinos into a glob of sugary corn syrup heaven, it was better! Wash that glob of glory down with some Ecto-Cooler and you’re good to go!

fruit snacks

 

One of the greatest aspects of the delightful fruit snack, (and a brilliant marketing move mind you) is that the little bundles of juice from concentrate often came in forms of our childhood relics. Icons such as TMNT, Garfield, and of course The Ghostbusters were all molded into bite-sized images of deliciousness. Our friends over at Horror Decor have long understood the importance of keeping memories of our childhood alive and with the recent celebrations of National Ghostbusters Day, the company has released a limited edition candle ringing the retro scents of the packaged citric acid of Slimer and The Real Ghostbusters Fruit Snacks! But you have to hurry because this limited edition is just that! After today they will be GONE! So hurry and snatch one up now before the clock runs out!

 

Smell the Nostalgic Scent of Retro Slimer Fruit Snacks in Candle Form!

Candle Description:

3.5″ Tall x 3.15″ Wide.
Approximately 9 ounces of red colored scented soy wax.
Candle weighs 1.3 pounds total.
The label is high gloss, waterproof, and suitable for high heat conditions.
25 Hour Burn Time.
Medium candles do not come with a lid, they come shrink wrapped.

 

 

The Long Lost Creepy Crawlers Cartoon You Probably Forgot About

They’re slimy,. They crawl, and go splat.. splat.. and SPLAAAAAT!!!

There’s no doubt about it. Nothing sounds more nostalgic, (and frankly funnier than shit) than producing with your little hands, slimy bugs to set upon Dad’s forehead while he snoozes away on the couch once upon a lazy Sunday afternoon. The familiar freshly-baked Plasti-Goop smell all 90’s kids will instantly recognize is something we all collectively can agree was the jam back in the day. And it seems some things never change, as in recent news via Variety, Paramount has snagged up those slimy rights an official Creepy Crawlers live-action film has been greenlit for production!

Be still my gooey heart.

The Long Lost Creepy Crawlers Cartoon You Probably Forgot About

 

Anywho, yes nostalgic boils and ghouls. The testosterone infused Easy-Bake-Oven childhood relic is getting its own film from the same people who brought Goosebumps to life on the big screen. While that’s pretty much all that’s known thus far, I can (because I’m a positive thinker) make a fair assumption a similar formula may be followed and it’s going to be a fun piece of nostalgic entertainment. However with this in mind, did you know this isn’t the first time Creepy Crawlers has been adapted onto on-screen entertainment?

With the success of a certain rip-off concerning dino-mite, morphing Japanese superheroes, Saban Entertainment tried their hands in the animation department with, what else, the Creepy Crawlers line! I often wonder what these pitches in the writer’s room sound like to everyone else sitting around a table. Like, “Hey! You know that slime crap that bakes into bugs that annoys the crap outta parents?! Let’s make a series about that!” Then again, the glorious era we speak of was very keen to nabbing up R-Rated programming like Tales From the Crypt and The Toxic Avenger and making them kid-friendly for Saturday mornings. Man… did we have it made or what?!

The Creepy Crawlers series debuted in the US in October 1994 with the simple premise of goodies vs baddies. Except the kicker is, the Creepy Crawler hybrid monsters portrayed in the series were indeed the good guys! And of course, they had to have a pint-sized human sidekick to move the story along and enter humanoid kid Chris. The series kicks off with Chris who is fascinated by magic and wizardry, working in a magic shop under the kind of nutty magician Professor Googengrime. And yes, he looks just like you would think with a name like that. Anyway, the talented little Chris builds and develops something he calls “The Magic Maker”. Which of course, is supposed to mimic the Creepy Crawlers toy oven. Googengrime dismisses it as garbage but unbeknownest to him will be the source of power becoming the bane of his very existence. Now here where a show about mutant bugs gets weird: Once-every-thousand-years, a planetary alignment called by Googenbrime the Magical Millennium Moment, rains down cosmic energies. As fate would have it, these lights rain down on the magic shop, which somehow made the Magic Maker capable of creating strange, man-sized bug/magic trick composite mutant creatures. Enter the Creepy Crawlers mutants Hocus Locust, Volt Jolt and T-3 and now we have a series that pits the buggy monstrosities along with Chris against the evil Googengrime who duh, now wants the Magic Maker for world-domination purposes. More Creepy Crawlers hybrids came later in the series, however, the original three named above we’re the main focus for most of the series run.

Creepy Crawlers the Animated Series only lasted two seasons with a total of 23 episodes. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that remembers the cartoon with a nostalgic fondness and I’m not so sure why that is?! Personally, I think it’s a fun, run-of-the-mill Saturday morning gem that reminds me a little of early Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episodes. In any regard, I can always appreciate any attempt at basing a cartoon off of a beloved horror-themed product of our childhood.

Special shout out to YouTube uploader Bsh for posting the first full episode of the series! So if you’re interested in the origins of  buggy heroes, grab yourself a bowl of cereal and make Saturday Morning a party!

Creature Feature: Reverend Kane, the Most Underrated Villian in Horror History

Nightmare Nostalgia Presents Creature Feature: An ongoing tip of the hat to some of horror’s greatest monsters throughout the genre that don’t seem to get the recognition they wholeheartedly deserve. 

On the heels of a recent Poltergeist II movie anniversary and what would have been the 98th birthday of one Julian Beck, we won’t just tip any hat, but our oversized black felt-wool head-huggers and sing the gospel of all the “Holy Temples” to the man who gave everything, including his failing health, to a character that will forever be burned into our brains as one of the downright scariest in horror history.

Born on May 31, 1925, Julian Beck wore many hats in the entertainment business, not just the creepy pastor topper we’ve all come to associate him with via Poltergeist II. The on-screen preacher began his love affair with the arts and dabbled in painting abstract expressionist pieces in the early 1940’s until meeting his future wife, Judith Malina who had a tremendously immense passion for the theatre. The love-connection turned into theater history and the pair later founded the prestigious, and often controversial, Living Theater which focused on giving the audience an immersive and shocking experience to take home, reflect, and learn from. Beck, a self-proclaimed anarchist who on several occasions had plenty of trouble with the law, lived by the saying, “If one can experiment in theater, one can experiment in life.”  With close to 40 years of embracing these types of convictions inside and out of the theater, Beck’s finest hour came (kind of ironically), in the on-screen role as a passed-on pastor from another time who beat to his own drum as well. I’d say in a way more terrifying and psychotic manner, but you catch my drift here.

 

 

Keeping in horror franchise tradition, (although usually via accident-you never know if a sequel will follow) we normally don’t get a whole lot of backstory on the main antagonist. As a matter of fact, the name of Henry Kane was never mentioned once during the first film. Good ole’ Tangina warned of a malevolent presence in the home that she referred to as only, “the beast”. The Other Side, the follow-up four years after the original Cuesta Verde neighborhood nightmare gives us all the answers and a face to said beast with, of course, Julian Beck. And because of his creepy ass performance, I briskly walk a little bit faster past any senior living communities.

His soft-spoken demeanor could go from 0-100 real quick during his little temper tantrums, giving way to a visual about 8,000 teeth in the man’s mouth. Of course, I’m exaggerating a tad but I’d call you a liar if you didn’t think he had an extra set of chompers in there when his face twisted with anger. Besides angry dentures and walking around softly singing culty hymns, Kane’s dagger of a stare was enough on its own to make you avoid this dude walking down the street. Proving that an over-abundant amount of gore and make-up aren’t needed to give someone the skeevies. Not to take anything away from Kane’s other forms in the film including that incredibly EPIC H.R. Giger Tequila-Worm vomit monster (played by Noble Craig). But as Carol Anne said herself in Poltergeist III, “remember, less is more.”

Hr Giger

Unfortunately, however, Beck’s look of a resurrected corpse throughout the film wasn’t movie magic but due to a 1983 diagnosis of the often fatal pancreatic cancer. Beck knew his days on Earth were coming to an end and gave everything he had to the role that launched his name into horror infamy. Often in pain on set, and if you look closely into his eyes via the clip above it’s painfully obvious, Beck used his unfortunate circumstances and threw himself into the role of the nefarious cult leader. Little Heather O’Rourke herself was so frightened by his unfiltered skeletal appearance, she burst into tears upon the pair’s first meeting.

I would have run like a bitch too sweetheart.

Poltergeist_II_The_Other_Side_1_12_Movie_CLIP_Kane_1986_HD.gif

 

Today on the anniversary of the life of one Julian Beck, we appreciate his dedication to a role that was to be his last, and sadly never lived to see on screen. I can also appreciate that due to the Kane character, I’ve never wanted to open my door on a rainy day; especially to an elderly gentleman on the other end. Thanks for the eternal nightmares Reverend.

Horror Heroes: 5 Fun Facts You May Not Know About the Crypt Keeper

I remember quite distinctly the first time an eight-year-old version of myself, had snuck into the hallway of my childhood home upon hearing some hauntingly delightful music blaring from the television well past my bedtime. Being the nosy little fucker I am, I ninja-ed my way out my bedroom door and into our hallway where I peeked around a corner that held a slightly obstructed, yet palatable view of our living room- but most importantly here, the television set. In which I had a great view of in my little corner of secrecy. I spotted my parents snuggled up on our Roseanne-esque sofa, eyes fixed at our beastly Sony TV that sat heavily on the shag carpet where visions of thunder, lightning, an obvious haunted house, and cackling laughter filled the screen. And that’s when I caught my first glimpse of one of THEE most important staples of any ’90s kid’s childhood- The Crypt Keeper.

 

Of course, I wasn’t the greatest sneakster, so I was spotted pretty quickly during the first few minutes of the program. Although, much to my delight and having the coolest dad ever, he invited me to join in to watch alongside and thus begun a Saturday night ritual of tits, gore, and the most awfully awesome puns from the Crypt Keeper that I repeated to friends the following Monday before the school bell rang. Parenting at it’s finest, am I right?! I guess I was pretty lucky to have the sort of father who had no shame in lying to my mother saying he was taking me to the movies to see Lady and the Tramp when what he really meant to say was he was taking his ten-year-old daughter to the cinema to watch The Exorcist III, (and yes, I loved every second of being scared shitless from the articulate Gemini Killer.) Anyway, twenty some odd years later and episodes via Tales From the Crypt remains a beloved staple in my rotation slot, as I’m sure with many of you boils and ghouls as well. On that note, I figured I’d tip my hat to the putrid host with the most and drop a few HAXILERATING fun facts about the gangly little puppet we all fell in love with his first appearance back in 1989.

 

5. Jeepers Keeper, Where’d You Get Those Eyes?

chucky

Yep, if you ever thought to yourself, “Hey self, ole’ Crypty boy’s eyes look a tad familiar,” then you are right about that young padawan.  Infamous creature designer Kevin Yagher used a clear pair of his previous creation’s baby blues’ Chucky, as part of the design for the animatronic Crypt Keeper. Also, much like with the little Lake Shore Strangler, it also took a skilled team of six people to operate the Keeper’s animatronics.

 

5. The Crypt Keeper Actually Has an Origins Story

lower berth

In case it has been some time since you’ve revisited the series or perhaps missed this one entirely, season two intentionally gave us a surprise origin story of our favorite undead master of bad puns and shock tales. Episode 14 appropriately titled Lower Berth brings us to Feeley’s Fantastic Fairway of Freaks, where we meet a rather sensitive two-headed mutant corpse named Enoch who has a boner for an ancient mummy named Myrna. Enoch escapes the freak show and the hands of his abusive owner with Myrna and they have an ummm, interesting night in a dank cave before they are discovered a year later and taken back to the carnival prison. That is, however, not before a hellish offspring is birthed by Myrna- the Crypt Keeper. And he’s totally kind of cute! In the post discussion of the story with the Keeper, he states his parents are still at the carnival today, 80 years later. So, I suppose that makes the Keeper 80 years old at the time of the tale.

 

3. There Are Two Versions Out There Of Each Episode

crpt keeper director

Robert Zemeckis and fellow producers knew they had syndication gold on their hands, so they wanted to plan ahead for Tales to maybe be eventually broadcast on other stations that weren’t so shall we say, lenient when it comes to sex, language, and gore. and that’s exactly what happened in the Summer of 1994 over at FOX as they picked up the series as part of their late-night programming. The episodes were re-edited with alternate scenes that cut out all the naughty fun stuff, and actors were instructed to loop those hilarious dubs of non-foul language into scenes while shooting. Fuckin’ became friggin’ and so on. It was nice for those who didn’t have a subscription to HBO or if you some serious uptight parents that allowed this version to be seen. There’s always a silver lining.

 

2. The Series Got Reworked As a Game Show

The 90’s were the prime era for kids and weirdly fun game shows. With gems like Legends of the Hidden Temple and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, why not base a kid-friendly game show on a series known for tits and blood?! Although it only lasted one season, Secrets of the Crypt Keeper’s Haunted House came to Universal Orlando and syndicated into CBS Saturday mornings in 1996 featuring John Kassir and his puppet alter ego. Two teams with team names of “scary creatures” of a pair of kiddies competed for the glorious and coveted prize of a brand new Apple computer by answering questions from a giant floating head and successfully completing obstacles such as Fireball Alley and The Swamp From Hell. All while CK is taunting them in the process, because hey, that’s what he does right? Even with just one season under their belt, the program did somehow get nominated for a Daytime Emmy in the Outstanding Game Show category. Of course, that win went to The Price is Right but it’s kind of cool it got some recognition!

 

1. The Crypt Keeper Released a Christmas Album

Tales From the Crypt Christmas

Oh yes, we’re decking the halls with parts of Charlie with this pun-tastic holiday album featuring the Crypt Keeper! Released in 1994 by Warner Bros., the horror holiday affair with the late night ghoul of fright including such national treasure tracks as “We Wish You’d Bury The Missus”, “Twelve Days of Cryptmas”, and the all-important rap song featuring the horror icon! I mean, Freddy had the Fat Boys and Maniac Cop got into the rap game. It only seems appropriate for the king of wordplay to hop on that bandwagon and drop some sick rhymes too!

In Memorium: The Majesty of Bill Gold and the Movie Poster

As you may, or may not have heard, the legendary Bill Gold sadly passed away on May 20th, 2018 at the respectable age of 96. Some of you may be asking the obvious question, “Who the hell is Bill Gold?” Well, if you’re not balls deep into the cinematic world of art and film, it’s quite possible you may have never heard the name. However, I guarantee you’ve seen the man’s work and didn’t even realize it.

Born on January 3rd, 1921, American graphic designer William Gold is wildly known throughout the entertainment industry as the go-to-man for movie poster art to promote films. With a career spanning over 60 years in the business, Gold is responsible for the art of over 2,000 movie posters going all the way back to the golden year of 1942 with Yankee Doodle Dandy, ending with his final work for J. Edgar in 2011. With graduate schooling from the Pratt Institute, Gold poured his heart and soul into cinematic artwork for films that have imprinted their own legacy in the world of visual culture including the beloved horror genre. Movie posters such as The Exorcist, The Exorcist II: The Heretic The Funhouse, Alien, and Kubrick’s cinematic masterpiece A Clockwork Orange are directly from the mind of Bill Gold. In particular, with such an iconic black and white foggy visual that we all know from the 1973 massive achievement in horror, I think we all need to collectively give at least sixty seconds of silence to the man who without his talent, the art we associate these films with would have never been.

 

 

If you’d like to send your respects, the family asks donations be made to the Fisher Center for Alzheimer’s Research Foundation in honor of Bill Gold.