Tag Archives: Retro Treats

This Is Not a Drill: Planters Cheez Balls Are BACK!

Twelve years. Twelve years I’ve waited for this glorious moment. The product that made up one-third of my food group as a youngster is FINALLY heeding the pleas from nostalgic fans all over the world: Planters Cheez Balls are coming back for a limited run and I’m probably going to cry.

 

This Is Not a Drill: Planters Cheez Balls Are BACK!

 

Yesterday over on the world of Twitter, Mr. Peanut made the official announcement that the beloved ball of greasy cheese goodness that fans like myself have been petitioning to make a comeback is returning for as of now, a limited time starting July 1st. Along with the equally as good Cheez Curls (yeah, move over Chester), you’ll be able to purchase the delicious nostalgic junk-food of every 80’s and 90’s kid’s childhood via Amazon (you can pre-order now) and Walmart.com.

Over the past few years, the trend of retro snacks returning to cater to our nostalgia seems to be resonating with the heads of the junk-food industry. Two years ago upon the release of the rebooted Ghostbusters movie, the king of boxed-juice drinks Hi-C Ecto Cooler had a limited run in stores during the Summer. Of course in my hometown of Las Vegas, I had to beg and plead to the warehouse guys at my local Smiths to get these damn tiny boxes of green liquid sugar in their store so I could pretend I was eight-years-old again. It took an entire month, but the day had come during one of my groceries trips. I was spotted as I walked in by the head of the store, and was greeted with, “I have a surprise for you..” Yeah, that’s how much I badgered these poor people. I proceeded to walk out with a case of these bad boys and I regret nothing. Hopefully, I won’t have this same issue once again where I’ll have to raise hell to get satisfy my inner fat kid. I say this because the pre-order option isn’t available in my area just yet, and I’m just hoping I don’t have to become the nag of the century here.

But anyways, for the rest of you, get ready for orange dusty fingers this Summer! Rejoice because Planters Cheez Balls are back!

Smell the Nostalgic Scent of Retro Slimer Fruit Snacks in Candle Form!

I think I speak for a bulk of 90’s kids when I say during that early era, we had four basic food groups on which we derived the energy from to play outdoors until those street lights flipped on: Cereal, Fruit Juice Boxes, Pizza Bites, and of course the ever so versatile Fruit Snacks. Of course, in the Summer, I ran over my little brother to get to the Ice Cream truck to nab my WWF Ice Cream bar with a collectible card upping my food group count to a respectable five. However, the illustrious fruit snack was a mainstay all-year long and made for a great pool-side snack! Even when the hellish rays of the sun would melt those little shapes of sharks or dinos into a glob of sugary corn syrup heaven, it was better! Wash that glob of glory down with some Ecto-Cooler and you’re good to go!

fruit snacks

 

One of the greatest aspects of the delightful fruit snack, (and a brilliant marketing move mind you) is that the little bundles of juice from concentrate often came in forms of our childhood relics. Icons such as TMNT, Garfield, and of course The Ghostbusters were all molded into bite-sized images of deliciousness. Our friends over at Horror Decor have long understood the importance of keeping memories of our childhood alive and with the recent celebrations of National Ghostbusters Day, the company has released a limited edition candle ringing the retro scents of the packaged citric acid of Slimer and The Real Ghostbusters Fruit Snacks! But you have to hurry because this limited edition is just that! After today they will be GONE! So hurry and snatch one up now before the clock runs out!

 

Smell the Nostalgic Scent of Retro Slimer Fruit Snacks in Candle Form!

Candle Description:

3.5″ Tall x 3.15″ Wide.
Approximately 9 ounces of red colored scented soy wax.
Candle weighs 1.3 pounds total.
The label is high gloss, waterproof, and suitable for high heat conditions.
25 Hour Burn Time.
Medium candles do not come with a lid, they come shrink wrapped.

 

 

The Ice-Cream Man Offered Nothing More Sweet Than WWF Ice Cream Bars

Nothing rings those nostalgic bells louder than the beloved junk food from our youth. While I’m being a total dick myself here writing about delicious treats from our childhood we can no more get down on like a jonesing crack addict; it boggles my mind how these desirable taste-sensations succumbed to time as companies just said, “fuck it, get rid of them.” Umm, excuse me sir or madam, but UTZ Cheeseballs are a piss-poor substitute for the spherical orange of greasy goodness offered by Planters.

Ugh, anyway, here at Nightmare Nostalgia, I’ll be periodically looking back at some of the greatest treats from our youth that were taken away from us- and for the love of everything sacred at the bottom of the food pyramid, would love to see resurrected one more time. What better way to kick off this new category, than with the Holy Grail of the Good Humor Man- WWF Ice Cream Bars.

 

The Ice-Cream Man Offered Nothing More Sweet Than WWF Ice Cream Bars

 

Without a doubt, those delightful cookie top, vanilla middle, and chocolate bottom frozen treasures were the greatest thing offered by your friendly neighborhood ice-cream man. I clearly remember those fateful Saturday mornings during an airing of Superstars of Wrestling, those familiar nursery rhyme bells would consume the neighborhood. Letting us children know to fling on those jelly-flats with a quickness, grab your loose change, and run over your little brother to ensure you’d catch that little white truck. Once at the window, it was never even a question what I wanted, along with the, of course, occasional cheese popcorn or Hot Fries- those coveted WWF (now WWE) Ice Cream Bars made straight from the Gods of junk-food.

The soft cookie-based outside featured a popular wrestler, encased in what I thought was one of the coolest boxes to hold any kind of treat. Even better, with the purchase of a bar came a collectible trading card of a random superstar with some fun facts to read while your inner fat kid was letting that chocolate backing melt all over your hands. Admit it, you ate that scrumptious cookie layer first.

Produced for over 20 years, Good Humor discontinued the ice cream officially in 2009. Despite pleas from fans, and hell even CM Punk among other WWE Superstars clamoring for the return of nostalgic goodness, the resurrection has yet to happen. However, I’m not a pessimistic individual. If we can get Ecto Cooler back on the shelves, even if it’s briefly, I strongly feel we haven’t seen the last of these. When and if it happens, I’m sure the ice-cream vendor will be pleased that I’ll probably be paying for his kids’ college tuition.