Tag Archives: Wrestling Lists

Honor the “Rowdy One” on His Birthday With the Best of Piper’s Pit

It’s time to celebrate the legend who smugly proclaimed he was the man who “made Hulk Hogan lose all his hair.”

The WWE Attitude era existed long before it’s rebranding launch in 1997 thanks to a Canadian with a prideful Scottish heritage,”Rowdy” Roddy Piper. As you know as well as I, Hot Rod imprinted his legacy in the sport with not just his wrestling skills, but also with a mouth that slams Jimmy Hart’s famous shit-talking jaws into the turnbuckle corner of shame.

Honor the "Rowdy One" on His Birthday With the Best of Piper's Pit

And with those quick-witted puns and illustrious smack-talk, arose one of the greatest segments from the glory days of the WWF- Piper’s Pit. Those Royal Stewart Plaid thin walls that surrounded a shrine dedicated to an (at the time heel) feisty Piper and a single chair, two if Roddy was feeling generous for his guest, became a highlighted segment for the WWE/WWF program through its 1984-1987 run; (with occasional appearances until his death in 2015). Realistically speaking, any one person who makes it their duty to destroy another’s ego while humiliating the ever-loving shit out of them, would be seen as well, a complete douchebag. But, this was Roddy Piper. And somehow, we loved him for it. Even at the height of his heel days in the WWF, Piper with his hilarious insults hurled at both competitors and comrades alike, had us hanging onto his every word. So, of course, we all watched with anticipation once the spotlight centered on the arched entranceway of the Pit of the Piper as we desperately waited to see what pot of fuckery he was going to stew up for the evening’s shenanigans. It was quite a special thing that with much sorrow, we will never see once again.

The king of witty sarcasm and trash-talk in and out of the ring would have celebrated his 64th birthday this 17th day of April. So let’s break out the bagpipes and shove a banana down someone’s throat in honor of the legend as we look back at in no particular order, the very best of Piper’s Pit.

 

Frank Williams (04-14-1984)

Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions!

What a sport that Frankie is, eh? Throughout WWE programming, we would see superstars pit against basically unknown or “jobber” wrestlers as filler matches. Frankie Williams was one of those guys, and Piper made a memorable example out of the poor schmuck. Piper jabbers on about how worthless Williams is in the sport and then just kicks the shit out of the guy. While we mostly never remember these jobber wrestlers whose purpose is just that- to lose to the popular roster, we’ll always remember Frankie the Jobber for his stint on Piper’s Pit, as this was the first brawl in the segment. From there on in, all bets were off when you entered Roddy’s house and you better be prepared for a fight to break loose.

 

 

Andre the Giant (03-17-1984)

You do not throw rocks at a man who has got a machine gun!

Only Roddy would have the kind of balls to tell Andre what a teenie-weeny brain he has. Even in the face of a legendary giant who basically manhandles him like a ragdoll towards the end of the segment, Piper salvages his man-pride with another memorable one-liner making this entry too hilarious to ever forget.

 

Brother Love and Morton Downey Jr. (04-02-1989)

Was there ever a time where Brother Love didn’t look like a mullet-loving lobster in heat?

Piper had been long gone from the arena to focus on his acting career however, he made a glorious return center stage for Wrestlemania V and another stint for Piper’s Pit. He also spread the word around to anyone else slightly even entertaining the idea that anyone other than the Rowdy One could host Piper’s Pit. After embarrassing Brother Love forcing him to retreat back to the locker rooms, Piper set his sights on chain-smoking celebrity Morton Downey Jr. Who just couldn’t manage to play nice, and further antagonize Piper with his cigarette smoke. Common knowledge: If you purposely try and fuck with Roddy, you’re gonna have a bad time, mmk?

 

 

Hulk Hogan, Andre, and Bobby Heenan (02-07-1987)

Man did Piper know how to sell a story or what?!

The use of Piper’s Pit set the stage for one of the greatest matches and torch passes in Wrestlemania history between the Immortal One and The Giant. Andre debuted his shocking heel turn and alliance with Bobby “The Brain” Heenan during the confrontation with Hogan on Piper’s Pit. Which in turn, lead to Hogan begging and pleading with his old friend as to why on Earth he would sink so low as to garner the services of a “weasel”. Andre’s response? Ripping the shirt and chain crucifix clean off Hogan’s backside adding injury to insult. Piper may have let his guests do most of the talking in this edition, but I gotta give credit to the guy for planting the seeds to one of the most memorable matches in Wrestling history. So, hor historical purposes, this had to be included.

 

 

Cyndi Lauper and Captain Lou Albano (06-16-1984)

Time after time, this remains a goddamn classic.

The infamous Rock ‘N’ Wrestling Connection all began with the introduction of pop sensation Cyndi Lauper and thus was born a glorious matrimony of wrestling and music. Lauper appeared on Piper’s Pit quite a few times throughout her stint at the WWF, but this segment in particular where she gets super pissed at her buddy Lou and attacks Piper after stirring up some drama remains an essential part of the Roddy-Lauper feud.

 

 

 “Stone Cold” Steve Austin (04-03-05)

The first time since Wrestlemania V, Piper’s Pit was back to kick some rattlesnake ass with special guest Steve Austin. The two biggest shit-talkers in WWE history were about to come face to face to what basically seemed like, a dick-measuring contest. They slap each other a little, exchange a few insults until they’re rudly interrupted and we get a full-dose of a proper Piper’s Pit. Also, gotta love how Roddy questions the crowd like they’re dingbats with that stupid chant. Almost 20 years after the first Pit segment, some things still haven’t changed.

 

 

Mr. T (03-17-1985)

The first Wrestlemania should have just been billed, “Starring Roddy Piper and supporting cast Hogan and Mr. T.”

The thing that made this Pit so great, was that Piper and T genuinely HATED each other. The real-life heat and mutual disdain the pair had for one another made for a great pre-game to the road to the very first Wrestlemania event. The little jabs Piper takes at the A-Team star with his remarks about ex-lax, the Mohawk wig, and Piper showing off his artistic skills make for one of the most memorable, and hilarious entries in the Pit roster.

 

 

Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka (06-26-1984)

One coconut… Two coconuts… Four coconuts… and history made.

Listen, we all knew this was an obvious choice to be made here and considering the now known Snuka’s very disturbing past, I’m glad Piper cracked his dome with them coconuts and rammed bananas down his throat. Roddy just demoralizes the shit out of the then-popular superstar in a such a way that has never been matched in all the years of the segment. Years later, Piper told the Wrestling Hut that he smacked him so hard with the tree fruit that Snuka’s eyes legit rolled back and he had thought he killed the guy. The coconut incident has become Wrestling lore at its finest, still fondly remembered and spoken of ’till this day. That just don’t make them like this anymore.

And try your damnedest future athletes, but there will never be a legend like Roddy Piper in the squared circle again. Happy Birthday Roddy wherever you are but if I were to guess, you’re probably slapping around the Warrior and Heenan in the afterlife.

Image result for roddy piper slap gif

 

 

[Video] Retro Wrestling’s 10 Greatest Wrestlemania Moments!

With Wrestlemania 34 looming over our heads like Shawn Michaels making that spectacular overhead entrance in Wrestlemania XII, I obviously wanted to take advantage here and dive into retro wrestling’s greatest Wrestlemania moments from years’ past!

Retro Wrestling's 10 Greatest Wrestlemania Moments!

If you’re a fan, (and hey who wasn’t in the 80’s and 90’s), you can probably remember the first time you sat and watched the PayPer View spectacle that was (is), Wrestlemania. Whether you were lucky enough to be alive for the first or the twentieth, it stands as a sort of rite of passage for any wrestling fan to sit and enjoy the most important wrestling event of the year at least once at the time of airing. Bonus if you ever got to see the prestigious event loaded with neon spandex live in person! I myself never got to witness any major PayPer View events, BUT I was there when Earthquake performed animal murder (or at least my 9-year-old-self thought at the time) by cannon-balling his very large ass onto Jake “The Snake” Roberts’ bag that held the beloved Damian. And yes, the answer is I cried like a little bitch.

Anyway beyond traumatic memories of dead pythons, be it that it is Wrestlemania weekend, I felt now would be a good time to look back on some of the greatest moments from the event throughout our childhood years. These moments shook us to our core, made us feel all the damn things, and have etched their iconic imprints onto the legacy that is, the glorious Wrestlemania. Here’s what I think is, in my humble opinion of course, the ten greatest moments in retro Wrestlemania history!

 

10. The Mega-Powers Explode!

Wrestlemania V

Retro Wrestling's 10 Greatest Wrestlemania Moments!

The Madness and the Hulkster had a lot of back and forth throughout their wrestling careers. One minute they were bitter enemies, the next absolute butt-buddies. It was just a vicious cycle of fighting, followed by forgiveness and we ate it up every time. However, after the duo formed the ever-so-epic Mega Powers force and then had another falling out over a misunderstanding with Miss Elizabeth, we got the mighty conclusion of the pair’s quarrel that began over a woman and a jealous fit, at Wrestlemania V. This match, in particular, is everything I loved about retro wrestling. Two of the greatest icons, with a totally believable story behind it, raging war at Wrestlemania. Doesn’t get much better than that folks.

 

 

9. The Backlot Brawl

Wrestlemania XII

piper vs goldust

This match of all damn rages is not only memorable as it is, kind of hilarious. Listen, no one talks the kind of trash like Mr. Ass-Kicking Bubblegum himself, Roddy Piper. And when the weirdo Goldust (Dustin Rhodes) began sexually taunting the Hot Rod, our boy in plaid wasn’t having any of that shit. Thus bringing the Backlot Brawl to Wrestlemania VII so the pair could settle the score like REAL MEN. I feel like that fight scene in They Live was good practice for this match. However, Piper punched the Dust of Gold so hard, he ended up breaking his hand. And he kept going like nothing happened. Talk about commitment to the match!

 

 

8. Lovers Reunited

Wrestlemania VII

Savage and Elizabeth

I certainly am not taking anything away from the pretty awesome career ending match between Randy Savage and The Ultimate Warrior at the seventh installment of Wrestlemania. However, no one can deny this was the most memorable moment resulting from it. Elizabeth and Randy have been like peas and carrots throughout (almost) Savage’s career in the WWF to date here. So to watch the demise of Scary Sherri and the rise once again of what seemed to be, a stronger Elizabeth fall into the arms of the madness once more, was quite touching indeed.

 

 

7. Icon VS Icon

Wrestlemania XVIII

rock-vs-hogan

Before Dwayne Johnson was fighting off the jungle in Jumanji, The Rock was the sport’s biggest star and athlete during the Attitude Era at the WWE. So when we got to witness one generation’s wrestling icon square off against another, it was pretty much the coolest thing ever, (if you smell what the Patti is cookin’ over here). I know. Terrible joke. But I felt this was a proper way to pass the torch, so to speak, from Hogan to The Rock ushering in a new icon as the face for the industry. And it was pretty cool of Hogan to do that for him.

 

 

6. The Rattlesnake Takes On The Bull

Wrestlemania XVII

ausin-rock-chair

One year prior to The Rock taking on the Hulkster at Wrestlemania, he faced one of his toughest challenges to date with “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. These two phenoms WERE the top contenders during the attitude era, and have etched a legacy inside the ring worthy of standing alongside the greats before them. For the pair of fan favorites that ushered in a slew of unforgettable one-liners and ass-kicking finishing moves to finally face-off at the Superbowl events of wrestling, was truly a moment not to be forgotten anytime soon.. or ever for that matter.

 

5. The Ladder Oozes Machismo

Wrestlemania X

razor-ramon-shawn-michaels

Never before had we seen a goddamn Ladder Match! And not since then, has one matched up to the power and glory as displayed between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon during the tenth Wrestlemania. Both athletes are some of the most exceptional executioners in the business, and the tense back and forth for the Intercontinental championship is definitely one of the best of all time.

 

 

4. Nothing But Hart and Gorey Glory

Wrestlemania XIII

bretaustin

Single-handedly, the role-reversal moment in history happened at Wrestlemania 13 during the match between Austin and the “Excellence of Execution” himself, “The Hitman” Bret Hart. And I don’t even think it was something that was meant to happen! Which it made it that much better. The intestinal fortitude of Austin’s character during the match gained a lot of favor with the crowd, which in turn, kind of pissed off Hart. Marking the beginning of Bret Hart’s lack of faith in the industry and heel turn, which he talks in depth about in his documentary Wrestling With Shadows.

 

 

3. The Ultimate Challenge

Wrestlemania VI

Wrestlemania-6-hulk-hogan-ultimate-warrior_2069676

Much like earlier in this article with The Rock, Hogan set the stage to make another athlete an iconic superstar at Wrestlemania 6. While The Warrior’s (rest his soul) career didn’t have the longevity as Dwayne Johnson’s has, he’s no less recognizable as The Warrior has his own spot in infamous WWE history. In any regard, say what you want about the Hulkster, but he’s always been a team player when it comes to his fellow competitors. As with this explosive match in 1989, Hogan accepted defeat with dignity and a new champion was born in the ring.

 

 

2. The Savage Steamboat Ride of Awesomeness

Wrestlemania III

savage and steamboat

Many consider the brawl between Macho Man and The Dragon at Wrestlemania III, to be one of the greatest of all time. And goddamn if I don’t agree with said people. Here we have two highly technical athletes who make this match look like a fuckin’ ballet of the ring. Everything about it is perfection and should be studied by any one person looking to make a career in the sport. Or hell, just for the fun of it because it’s just that good. The brawl wasn’t even the main event, but it certainly stole the show. Mostly due to Savage’s role in the process of tediously planning every single move in the match, as Ricky Steamboat told Wrestling Observer Radio.

“It got to the point to where I would turn page after page after page in my notebook and then at about the fourth page, I’d say, ‘Okay this is step 112. I’m going to do this, this, and this. Tell me the rest of the match.’ And he would go through and tell me the rest of the match. And then he would get his book out and he would flip through same pages and he would go ‘Okay I’m on step number 86, and I’m going to be doing this, this, and this, tell me the rest of the match.”

 

 

1. The Giant Slam Heard Around The World

Wrestlemania III

hogan and andre

The only thing that can top the Steamboat/Savage interlocking dance of athletic ability, is this moment right here. The moment that forever etched Hogan as the true immortal and a man of real power and strength. It was heavily rumored at the time Hogan would try and slam the mighty Andre, but no one actually believed he could bodyslam the seven-foot-plus, 500-pound legend in the ring. That being said, the top two spots here confirm what I’ve always believed: that Wrestlemania III just might be, the greatest WWE ticket to date. It truly was a magical time for the sport, and when Andre humbly ended his undefeated 15-year streak at the company to the Hulkster, it made us really want to take those vitamins and say our prayers to no end.

What’s your favorite Wrestlemania moment?! Let’s discuss and Happy Wrestlemania Weekend!