Today we’re going back to the gritty basics here on NN and diving deep down the grimy chimney into the seventh layer of Santa Claus Hell with some of my favorite kill scenes in the Christmas Horror genre.
A horror movie’s kill count and quality can be the deciding factor to some moviegoers in the arena of whether the film is considered memorable or not. Personally, this sort of thing doesn’t phase me but to others, it’s a damn big deal so I’ve put together here a list of some pretty fucked up but awesome death scenes in the Christmas horror category of the genre for nothing other than our pure entertainment.
Now, On Slasher, on Necromancer! On Basher and Vex-in! Cheesy, I know but I couldn’t help myself.
10. Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker- Death by Toy Worm
I have a weird and unrelenting love for Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker starring America’s favorite Golden Age loveable actor, Mickey Rooney. So I’m including it purely out of my own bias, and well because it doesn’t get any love whatsoever on Christmas Horror lists. And mother fucker, I’m a rebel.
Harold the landlord chokes down on this toy slug as he’s driving while this wild worm toy comes to life in his car and basically hollows out his skull, resulting in obviously his death followed by a fiery crash. What a way to go out.
9. Jack Frost- Snowman Rape
Beyond the pure joy we had as kids switching this hysterical horror gem out with Michael Keaton’s family-friendly film Jack Frost at our local video stores, this cult status holiday wtf-fest was, and still is a must-see for any horror fan.
In said scene, an inconspicuous carrot appears in the tub with Liz, followed by a mound of snow forming into that of Jack Frost. He grabs Liz, slams her around a bit while forcefully banging (ahem) her against the bathroom wall, ultimately dropping her naked body on the cold tile for her to die out. That is forever some wild shit to put on screen.
8. Krampus- Kid Eaten By Jack-In-The-Box
I always gotta give credit when a horror movie has the balls to kill a kid. 2015’s Krampus did this very thing with no apologies for it.
Jordan was a bit of a dick, but as a parent, I almost feel bad for the kid as really no one deserves to be chomped up and eaten by a giant Der jack-in-the-box with teeth that can only rival that of Reverend Henry Kane. Not much to say other than it’s fucked up and brutal, folks.
7. Christmas Evil- Death by Toy Soldier
An underrated Christmas gem of chaos goes to Christmas Evil and this toy soldier right in the eye courtesy of our psychopath Santa of the moment, Harry Stadling. Harry here has a lot in common with the more well-known Santa suit donning maniac, Billy in Silent Night, Deadly Night as both are triggered into a homicidal rampage on Christmas, and check it, both work with toys. However, Harry actually WANTS to be Santa and will go as far as sticking toys in eyeballs to ensure that everyone takes his stance seriously, followed by an ax to the dome.
6. Gremlins- Mrs. Deagle Gets Yeeted
Very few deaths in horror movies were ever so satisfying as that of Mrs. Deagle getting yeeted from her electric staircase chair, right onto the street courtesy of the Gremsters. She threatened a dog- she had this coming. And her 100 cats didn’t deserve her.
5. Inside- Fetal Extraction
A newer film often unmentioned but worth a watch, if you can stomach it, is Inside. If it’s more than 10 years old, you’ll not likely hear a peep from said film on this blog but here’s a rare exception. I’m not even gonna tell you what it’s about, but it takes place on Christmas Eve and involves a pregnant widow. And well, I guess this is a massive spoiler here but this scene in question is about as brutal as it gets and I can’t NOT give it a nod.
4. Silent Night- Wood Chipper
A somewhat retelling of Silent Night. Deadly Night (we already had one of those with Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 thanks) 2012 brought us Silent Night and this infamous scene where if you haven’t seen the film, you at least have heard about it.
The Coen Brothers’ FARGO doesn’t hold a candle to this death-by-woodchipper scene where our manic Santa feeds a porn star into the hungry machine legs first. I mean, porn stars are supposed to give woodys right? Maybe they were just taking it very literally here. I’m just full of bad Dad jokes today.
3. Elves- Santa’s “Sack“
This 1989 hot mess of a Christmas cult classic is just that- and I’m fucking here for it.
Listen, this 2-foot homicidal Goblin Elf stabbing this Mall Santa in his junk had me laughing for hours upon the first watch- and I never forgot it. This roller coaster of a goofy film that includes shameless nudity, an F-Bomb every 10 seconds, and a Nazi plot (yes nazis) along with Dan Haggarty, isn’t for everyone. But at the very least, it’s good for a laugh- with this scene in particular being the film’s Mona Lisa moment.
One of you lucky elves can snatch this DVD from a seller on ETSY for a great price since the movie is hard to come by on streaming sites.
2. Silent Night, Deadly Night
Hanging Linnea from the antlers with care, with psycho Billy Santa screaming “PUNISH” everywhere.
Silent Night, Deadly Night is known throughout the horror community for a lot of things other than just another Christmas horror flick. From all the nostalgic items seen throughout Ira’s Toys to being banned from theaters thanks to a bunch of angry moms protesting the movie outside of local cinemas. But, perhaps the most memorable thing is our dear horror queen Linnea Quigley being strung up like a demented Christmas trophy kill. Goddess bless that woman.
1. Black Christmas- Plastic Bag Death
Here we are- the ultimate fucked up Christmas horror death and perhaps the most infamous- the plastic bag suffocation of Clarein 1974’s Black Christmas.
As if having your head swaddled around by saran wrap disabling your breath and draining your life force isn’t terrifying enough, the fact she was never found makes this even more horrific. The sheer irony that the movie is integrally “wrapped” around Clare’s death shoots this to number one for me because damn that’s just brilliant. That final shot of Black Christmas is one that sticks with you for a long time. Note: if we can just make a holiday horror yule log out of that shot alone, taunting us from the window as we stare at the ‘Pi Kappa Sigma’ sorority house from the street, that would be the Christmas gift we all need this year, thanks.