Valentine’s Day Poetic Justice with Peter Cushing

Happy Valentine’s Day, my lovelies!

We here at Nightmare Nostalgia truly hope you have a bloody good one today! But we know why you’re here. Wherever you find yourself right now: out to eat, on your way home (or tonight’s big date) or whether you’re a single heart with a party of one you have still found yourself here with us in our happy little private asylum of dark wonders.  So huddle up close and join the Nightmare cast on the most romantic day of the year! And oh boy, does your ol’ buddy Manic have a sticky good treat for you all tonight!

Firstly, holiday horror movies are all the rage during the festive times. We have so many to choose from, and although it sometimes feels as if both Halloween (obviously) and Christmas hog all the spotlight we do in fact have some dark little delicacies to pick from every February 14th! Oh I know many will naturally go to the timeless classic My Bloody Valentine – as rightly you should – but today I want to focus on a little lesser known Valentine’s Day atrocity brought to us by the one and the only, the late great Peter Cushing!

giphy
image via giphy

He and Christopher Lee are my two favorite actors of all time! More than once this dastardly duo starred in some of the greatest horror classics of the ages. Anytime the two appeared in a monster classic you could bet it was going to be grander than life itself!

Today Peter Cushing is best known by modern audiences as the cold-blooded Grand Moff Tarkin of Star Wars, a man who gives orders to annihilate entire planets, snuffing out life, erasing cultures and extinguishing entire histories.

vulture
image via vulture

To me, he will always be revered as Baron Frankenstein, who was not above murder to obtain specimens to further his heinous crimes against Life. However, when he wasn’t building monster he was fighting them as the heroic Dr. Van Helsing, a man who was a superhero long before Marvel pooped out their products over-abundantly nearly every month – and his Van Helsing was more kick-ass than the Avengers combined. Dracula ran from him!

A long while ago there was a Tales From the Crypt movie that worked as an anthology horror film, much like Creepshow. This film featured several segments of the comeuppance of some very unpleasant fellows who get to revisit their ungodly crimes right before they are dropped into the flaming horrors of Hell.

YouTube
image via YouTube

One such segment is Poetic Justice. In it, we see our dear Peter Cushing who is a loving man who behaves like the local Santa of sorts. The noble widower finds discarded things among the rubble and makes toys out of their otherwise abandoned parts, giving new life and plenty of joy to the neighboring children. However, hateful eyes are turned against the dear old man and spitefully he is attacked and bullied until he no longer can take it.

The Spooky Isles
image via The Spooky Isles

It’s interesting because I first saw this movie back when I was a kid and had no earthly business watching such gruesome spectacles at such an early age – but I’d not trade it for the world! I couldn’t have been older than five, and this episode of the movie always stood out to me. So much so that I thought it was a nightmare I had dreamt up because anytime I inquired about it, no one knew what I was talking about. Then last year I picked up a VHS copy of Tales From the Crypt and to my surprise HERE IT WAS! Exactly as I remembered it.

So here you go, lovelies! From Manic with Love! Awwww.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day and remember it NEVER pays to be heartless to others.

Hehehehe……

Tales From The Crypt / Vault Of Horror [Blu-ray]

“Weekend at Bernie’s II” is the Superior Film

Nothing makes you feel older than the things you loved from your childhood coming back into fashion and being called “retro.” Fuck! It is that time already? The movies I grew up on were some of the funniest, silliest and most entertaining movies and compared to today’s standards seemed more wholesome, even when they weren’t. One of my favorites was the Weekend at Bernie’s movies.

Weekend At Bernie's II

Only two movies in the line, the idea was hilarious. Two poon hounds (Andrew McCarthy and John Silverman) find out someone is embezzling from the firm they work for. Little do they know the embezzler is their boss they reported it to. He invites them to his beach house as a “thank you” (aka come get super murdered) but not before getting himself assassinated by a mafia man for fooling around with his girlfriend. The guys show up, Bernie Lomax(Terry Kiser)is dead, but they pretend he is still alive, confusing the hitman and essentially putting them in the line of fire.

If that wasn’t enough felony fun for you, Weekend at Bernie’s II brings voodoo into the mix. To try and find the money that Bernie embezzled, a cartel hired a voodoo priestess to raise Bernie from the dead to lead them to the money in St. Thomas. However, the voodoo goons fuck up and Bernie only moves when he hears music.

Just re-watching that scene to write this had me howling. This movie is comedy gold, if only for the dead man dance. I can’t count the number of times I have performed the Bernie flop and shake and Kiser is a trooper in this movie, too. The slapstick physical comedy in this movie is pure 80’s/90’s charm. I fucking lost it during the harpoon scene. But why is Weekend at Bernie’s II the superior film? Because the corpse of Bernie Lomax gets the chance to truly be its own character. In the first one it was all about the wacky scenarios that McCarthy and Silverman got into, but in this movie, it’s, “OMG, where the fuck did Bernie go? Shit, he danced into the damn ocean.”

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The first movie was necessary to set the tone and solidify the characters and the second movie was their chance to really have fun with it. It wasn’t silly on the level of Mel Brooks, so it still felt original and not like a parody. Much like with Ghostbusters, I prefer the second movie over the first. Uh oh, I can already hear the angry mob gathering on that one.

When it comes to movies from this time period, Weekend at Bernie’s II is right up there with Captain Ron and The Burbs. And You’ll be hearing from me about The Burbs in the future.

Weekend At Bernie’s II

[Video] When Matthew McConaughey Made His Shirtless Debut on ‘Unsolved Mysteries’

Chances are if you’re over 30, you damn well know Unsolved Mysteries was the greatest and most terrifying thing you saw on prime-time TV. The weekly program about unexplained phenomena, strange murders, and sometimes featuring a beautifully grainy image of Bigfoot, did a fantastic job of making me think escaped murderers were lurking in my backyard late at night.

I fondly remember being the ripe ole age of five, when my stunning Nan (Grandmother) introduced me to that horrifying theme song followed by Robert Stack and his haunting tales of true terror and persuasive speculation on mysterious legends. We had just sat down in the living area after becoming near comatose after a heavy meal of pasta and meatballs. My dear sweet Nana ruled her house with a wooden spoon, usually dripping with tomato sauce. Even if it was against our will, we were going to sit down, shut the hell up, and witness the glorious splendor of Sir Stack grace that obnoxiously humongous floor television set. Although some of the programming most certainly gave me the skeevies at a young age and resulted in a few sleepless nights, over time it became one of my go-to series’ as a kid and into young adulthood.

Thank you Robert Stack for the countless night terrors.

unsolved-mysteries

So now that you know about thine fondness for the Stack and the eerie show, I really couldn’t be more excited that the show is now FINALLY able to stream on Amazon for Prime members. So it goes without saying, I haven’t had much of a social life since the Stack episodes hit streaming. Given the program’s absence from streaming sites as long as these services have been available, watching Unsolved Mysteries now is like watching it for the first time. Minus a few fuzzy memories here and there when certain memorable clips arise from episodes. The music will send shivers down your spine, and the stunning reenactments paired with an abundance of ’80s mullet will give all the warm fuzzy feelers.

While I must confess the acting wasn’t always that stellar, did you know that a certain Oscar-winning actor made his screen debut on the series? The righteous Matthew McConaughey stepped on-screen for the first time in 1992 on the creepy crime program.

Alright, alright, alriiiiiiight.

McConaughey appeared as a murder victim in season five, episode twelve of the series portraying 26-year-old Larry Dickens- who was brutally murdered in front of his mother’s home back in 1978. Courtesy of  IMDB, watch the full video at the link below! Enjoy!

Matthew McCaughey Unsolved Mysteries