Games, Horror Nostalgia

The Long Lost Hellraiser NES Game Brought Back to Life By Here Lies!

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No one knows the pleasure (and pain in the right ass) of games better than Pinhead and the Cenobites, and thanks to my buddy Eddie Spughetti over at HERE LIES, he, and with a little bit of consulting from yours truly, have brought the long-lost Hellraiser Nintendo game back to life by opening the Lament Configuration with our love and passion for 80s and early 90s horror hotlines and a mock video featuring the game!

The cancelled HELLRAISER NES game was being developed by a company called Color Dreams in 1990, which had a reputation for creating unlicensed Nintendo games on the NES- all of which were also notorious for their poor quality. So much so, you may not have even heard of titles like “Baby Boomer” and “The Adventures of Captain Comic“.

The game itself was to be an updated version of the Wolfenstein 3D engine, played from a first-person viewpoint. You play an (unknown) character stuck inside the Lament Configuration, with the main focus being for you to solve the box and escape with the bonus ability to manipulate the inside of the puzzle box. The catch is, solving the box would not only free you but also the Cenobites inside it. That being said, upon freeing yourself, you’d then have to solve it again in another riddle from Hell fashion to trap the Cenobites back inside and win the game.

Ambitious? Yes. So much so that the developers realised that the NES system could not handle the RAM of the super Wolfenstein 3D engine without having to create some sort of super cartridge, which would cost a fortune, and the main reason, according to game nerd lore, that Hellraiser was just shelved permanently. But not before Color Dreams pre-ejaculated a bunch of ads in Game Pro for the game, giving us fans forever blue balls.

Balls so blue that Pinhead would revel in the pleasure of my pain.

Anyways, we’ve been denied in what could have been one of the coolest horror games for Nintendo, although with Color Dreams rep that might be a stretch, but at least we can use that thing we call an imagination and NOT AI to put together something of what we think might have been in the era of marketing to gamers in the early 90s.

Video editor and VHS Wizard Master Eddie Spuhghetti used the only available image of what was the title screen of the long-lost HELLRASIER game, a created soundtrack for the game available on SoundCloud, some clips from the films, and a little bit of voice magic to make the game come to life in this mock horror hotline sweepstakes commercial that feels as real as it is glorious.

Behold, for we have such sights to show you!

News

‘Masters of the Universe’ World Premiere Was A Hit!

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I never in my wildest dreams would’ve thought I’d live to see the day Castle Grayskull became an actual reality. And yet, there in Hollywood, that castle of magic and cosmic mystery stood proud in front of the world-famous Chinese Theater, where the best movies are premiered with a red carpet affair. He-Man, the mightiest man in the universe, deserves no less, and, funny enough, this wasn’t his first time premiering at this legendary cinema.

In 1983, Filmation introduced the unsuspecting public to a brand new cartoon show that would change the world forever and teach children everywhere how powerful imagination truly can be. I was one of those kids. He-Man was a role model and an icon of good. To fight a good fight and never give up. That’s part of why the character has endured generations now.

It’s nuts to think how it’s already been over forty years since that initial premiere, where costumed actors playfully acted out characters who would immediately become undying legends. And, here we are in a new millennium, and at long last, He-Man is back in a powerful way!

This isn’t the first cinematic adventure MOTU has had. Most of us know the disaster of the 1987 film, a movie that’s since gone on to build a cult following, which can finally appreciate the charm the original movie truly has. I never hated the film, but just wished it could’ve been better.

That being said, last night we saw Dolph Lundgren (the original cinematic He-Man) passing the Power Sword over to Nicholas Galitzine (He-Man 2026) in a display of a new era with respect to what came before.

This was all done at a very real Castle Grayskull….ok, just writing that out makes me realize how very surreal this whole thing is. Like, there is a 5 y/o version of me inside my bones jumping up and down like a sugar-crazed chimp right now. This is all too awesome to contain, and yet it’s really happening. Two He-Men stood at a very real Grayskull and passed down the Power Sword from generation to generation. So is the movie any good?

By The Power of Grayskull!

It’s being declared to nay-sayers and haters alike that He-Man is back! He’s so back, baby, and the word is finally out – Masters of the Universe is a hit! People are saying it’s a throwback to the fun, the camp, and the adventure of Saturday morning cartoons, and all of us at Nightmare Nostalgia just can’t get enough of that vibe. This is what we’ve been waiting to hear, and I am relieved.

All my friends know (and by now our readers here too) how important MOTU is to me. This is the one movie I was most afraid to see. What if it’s a big letdown? What if it sucks? What if it’s not faithful?

I Have The Power!

We’ve already seen things that were never in the 1987 movie, and with today’s special effects, the studio can do things simply not possible forty years ago. Just from the trailers alone, we’ve already seen glimpses of Snake Mountain, Battlecat, and a lot more of the heroes and villains that the 1987 movie left out. We’re getting a lot more of Eternia this time around, and the characters, builds, and vibe all feel a lot more faithful here. Also, according to FenixDKevin, “Eternia looks like Rudy Obero’s box art brought to life.” That box art was one of the things that made the toy line stand out above all its competition, so this is incredible news.

I mean, I’m a proud owner of both an original Castle Grayskull and Snake Mountain (oh yeah, we collectors even collect boxes) with the artwork in great condition. I feel like I own two masterpieces.

In short, it sounds like MOTU was given to the right person to bring Eternia to life. It’s already being called the surprise of 2026, and both crowds of people who grew up watching MOTU and playing with the toys, as well as those who never did, are saying they loved it.

It’s a great time for fans, and I’ll be there on opening day with my ticket in hand and Skeletor shirt on, representing my favorite IP of all time.

Manic out!

Horror Nostalgia

Listen to the Entire 1-900 Freddy Krueger Hotline Story Collection Here!

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Kids today, with their Snapchats and Discords, could never fathom kids of the 80s and 90s calling a 900 hotline just so they could interact with their favorite horror icon. I’m also willing to bet they would never think that these phone calls caused us a swift ass-kickin’ in most cases when the phone bill came in- but unlike today, we had an entire month to plan our escape if needed until that paper bill came in the mail.

The horror hotline and basic 900 number dared young millennials to dial between your favorite programming, specifically aiming at kids that, as mentioned above, could cost you your left nut. But goddamn was it exhilarating. It sure as hell gave you a sense of living dangerously, and no doubt a few strands of pectoral hair sprouted on your chest when you ate the forbidden fruit if you actually mustered up the courage to call the “$2.99 a minute and $0.99 for each additional minute” numbers.  And with the peak of Freddy Mania in the late 80s, it was only natural for the world’s most notable homicidal insomniac to cash in on some poor kid’s wallet and the excitement of actually talking to Freddy over the phone!

After the release of DREAM WARRIORS, the 1-900-660-FRED was launched, and soon after, alongside DREAM MASTER and the syndicated FREDDY’S NIGHTMARES, the more infamous 1-900-909-FRED, with 1-900-860-4-FRED following after in the early 90s, which included the infamous sweepstakes contest to win a walk-on role for at the time, was just titled as “Nightmare 6“.

If your memory is as shitty as mine, you probably don’t remember much if you were one of those brave souls who called those numbers, but lucky for the blessed internet, YOUTUBE Channel Movie and Video Game TV Spots has uploaded the entire original collection of Springwood stories you heard on the other end of the line. Shoutout to the buddy, HERE LIES for sending me the video!

When you called, Freddy greeted you with a prerecorded message, then we got some fuckwad resident of Springwood talking about some weird tale or another that occurred in Freddy’s hometown. Finishing up with Freddy, urging you to go behind your parents’ backs some more and call again tomorrow. Which was way more terrifying than any story Freddy could come up with.