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Gators, Maniacs, and Cannibals: Top Ten Horror Movies From 1980

I’m straying from usual go-to form of doing these lists in milestone anniversary manner as last year’s shit show threw a machete in the machine; and I’m sure as hell not going to wait ten years to write it so here we go nuggets- Let’s talk about the year of our Horror Lord, 1980.

1980 begat the decade that brought us some of the most beloved horror classics and birthed an entirely new generation of fans with the Slasher enterprise. Although, many can argue over which horror franchise exactly started the slasher fiasco. Was it Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Black Christmas? Technically I’d say all are right. However, I want to say Friday the 13th, which of course debuted in 1980, did really kick off the slasher sequel phenonium the best and set the gold standard for what a good, classic 80s’ cheesy-gorefest should look like; and keep you coming back for more.

1980 was also the grand year of Jamie Lee Curtis with who clocks in with a solid three films on this list. After her massive success in her debut with Halloween, she was a definitely a hot commodity in the genre bizz. And for some reason or another, cannibals seem to be the popular go-to this year with more than handful of films at our disposal in this ONE year alone that include Cannibal Holocaust, Eaten Alive!, and Long Island Cannibal Massacre.

I don’t know man, those are all great, but it’s all about the man-eating oversized alligator for this horror girl over here that gets me excited to write this up.

So let’s plundge into those delightful, swampy waters of horror’s best from 1980!

10. Motel Hell

Motel Hell doesn’t get a lot of credit for being one of the great satirical, dark horrors of it’s kind. So let’s rectify that bullshit right now. It’s my goofy, guilty pleasure of this list and by judging from the above image, why question it?

Motel Hell is like the Scary Stories books, bridging your way into that gateway of horror with enough gore while having a chuckle at the same time. Hell, even the entry from the books “Wonderful Sausage” kind of reminds me of this movie. Which might be why I love it so much. Now, if you are familiar with “Wonderful Sausage” that’s really all you need to know, but for those who need a little context: A pair of siblings run a motel attached to a farm, and specialize in selling some of the world’s finest sausages… I’m fairly certain you get it now.

9. Terror Train

Ahh, here we go. The first of the Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis 1980 trilogy begins with Terror Train. The premise is simple enough and formulaic as far as teenage slasher pictures are concerned. A gang of fraternity guys and sorority gals charter a train to party yet a revenge, seeking murderer that is traumatized by past events is on board waiting to cut them down one-by-one. So what makes this one so special?

Well, it’s on a train for one. Which is pretty cool in itself as there’s really no where to go but so it really prepares the victim to either fight, or throw yourself to your death off a 100 mph moving train. I mean, that’s pretty terrifying. Also it’s Jamie Lee vs another Masked Maniac. It’s pretty cool for what it is.

8. Maniac

Before there was Buffalo Bill, we had Frank Zito. And man, he knew how to induce the skivvies all too well.

Coming out of one of the most vicious decades of prolific crimes against women (Ted Bundy, Ed Kemper), MANIAC flies on those fears in a very grotesque yet satisfyingly manner. With Joe Spinall writing and starring in the title role as a madman serial killer who does unspeakable things to his women victims, most notably taking their scalps and parading it on some of his mannequin heads with his buddy, horror icon Tom Savani behind the special effects, Maniac is a tried and true entry not just for this decade; but for the entire genre alone as a stand-alone WTF-fest that will forever haunt us.

7. Cannibal Holocaust

Not for the faint of heart, Cannibal Holocaust ranks right up there as one of the most fucked up films of all time. People had no idea that what they were looking at was real or just fake. The power of found footage-style horror movies all began here folks. And it came in with a BANG.

Love it or hate it, the message is clear. It is undoubtedly, one of the most highly gruesome and shocking films of the twentieth century. But the catch is, it’s well written too with a purpose. If you can get past all the gore, rape, and death (and if you’ve never went down this film’s rabbit hole, I can’t stress this enough to proceed with caution as it could trigger some anxiety in some), especially the animal killing scenes as they killed REAL ANIMALS on the set. Which I want to also stress, do NOT condone and have never watched the film since learning it. However, it does have it place in the ranks for being a breakthrough movie in its own by placing the point on the viewers themselves. Hey if you haven’t seen it and you’re curious, watch at your own risk.

6. Alligator

Sometimes all we want in a horror film is giant, oversized homicidal animal wreaking havoc. Films like JAWS and King Kong have shown us the way and now enter a cult favorite: ALLIGATOR. While it may not be seen on an OSCAR level as the former mentioned, ( and I goddamn could care less) it packs a punch, erm, chomp as one of the great horror films of the decade that is severely under-appreciated.

A tale as old as time: The star here, Ramon the alligator, is bought for a little girl by her mother as a new pet. But the fuckhead father doesn’t want it around so poor Ramon is flushed down the toilet as a baby and this just breaks my heart. He survives in the sewers by eating dead rats leftover by a lab who were experimented on with growth hormones by some dickwad scientists. And hey, you guessed it: he gets good and goddamn HUGE and people start disappearing. And you know what I say? Screw ’em. Poor Ramon could have had a great life and this little guy gets flushed down a toilet no less and then mutates into a freak reptile. Bad humans. CHOMP, CHOMP.

5. Prom Night

The Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis is disco-dancing her way into the top five spot with the classic teen slasher, Prom Night. Much like in Terror Train above, the antagonist is fueled by revenge with the death of a girl bullied by her classmates. The kids responsible are now dancing the Bungalow at the Senior Prom by being picked off one by one. Also worth noting the late, great Leslie Neilson plays the High School Principal and throws a bit of mystery in the mix of this “who dunnit” mystery slasher epic.

The film is exactly what it’s supposed to be but so much more fun that it should be. Sort of like Sleepaway Camp– you just gotta love it and if you don’t, I don’t want to know you.

4. The Changeling

I might get some blowback for putting this one high above others. But eh, it’s my list so I’ll have my moment. The Changeling starring the forever fantastic George C. Scott is by far, one of the most beautifully done haunted house films done in the genre and I’ll proudly die on this hill,

Scott may have been the reason this movie is so good, and that’s ok. He plays a widowed man suffering from the loss of his family. He moves into a new home that is obviously got some spooky shit going on it; like the ghost of a boy who died in the home. He enlists the assistance of his realtor (Trish Van Devere, Scott’s real-life wife), and things go WOO-SAW from there. It’s tension driven and a real nail-biter. Again, probably one of the best haunted house movies ever done but hey, that’s just the humble opinion of a horror-retro fan blogger.

3. The Fog

And now we’ve come to the end of our JLC holy trinity with John Carpenter’s The Fog. Beyond the Halloween star’s presence, the film plays host to mega horror stars like Adrianne Barbeau, Hal Holbrook, Janet Leigh, and the man, the myth, the mustache, Tom Atkins. And to boot, is the most atmospheric, visionally appeasing piece done by Carpenter even ’till today along with its colorful cast.

A California coastal town prepares to commemorate its centenary when a host of supernatural shit starts to happen. Inanimate objects spring to life. We stumble upon a dark secret about the town’s founding. Then a mysterious iridescent fog descends upon the village, and more people start to die. It’s a real wild ride once it gets going and a fun one at that towards the end.

2. Friday the 13th

And for those wondering, Jason’s birthday is June 13th, 1946. Although it’s common knowledge now, I gloat in the fact I’ve known forever because Jason is my birthday twin, (don’t get it twisted though- I was born 40 years later). As a woman, I gotta hit that one home. Anyways, the first Friday the 13th began in 1980 and had a sequel every goddamn year in the decade- with each and every one charming us into a Voorhees hypnosis clamoring for more until the steam finally let out in the early 90s’ with that really weird Jason Goes To Hell flick. Yeah I know, some of you really probably love it and that’s totally ok. But it’s also fair to say the films lost their way and it was time for zombie Jason to take a breather.

As the Jason saga unfolded throughout the 80s’, the first movie in the beloved series is a stand-alone masterpiece. The only entry in the films to NOT have Jason as the maniac, but instead his mother. Sorry if I just spoiled it for any of you who haven’t seen it but at this point in the game, I don’t even know what to say to those that haven’t except WHAT IN THE FUCK and just click the link below to remedy that please. Sheesh.

1.The Shining

And to the surprise of no one, Stephen King’s The Shining adapted by Stanley Kubrick is of course going to be number one! And why not? It’s just about the perfect damn, film to just about everyone- well except Stephen King but goddammit it’s good enough for me.

Inspired by his stay at the Stanley Hotel, King wrote one of the scariest stories of his career about a severely haunted inn at the heart of the Colorado Rockies. Rocked by numerous ghouls and poltergeists, Jack (Nicholson) and family are selected to tend to the Overlook in the downtime winter months. This doesn’t bode well with Jack’s highly intuitive son, as he senses danger before they even get there. From creepy hacked up twin girls hanging out in hallways to blood-soaked elevators, The Shining is an experience and a rite of passage for every horror fan. You just haven’t peaked until it hits you in your eyeballs and gives you multiple panic attacks.

As always, sound off below and let me hear your favorite from this list or tell me what a loser I am and add your own! Pick your poison!

I Love You To Death: Exploring The Top 10 90s’ Obsessive Stalker Movies

I LOVE YOU TO DEATH: EXPLORING THE TOP 10 90S' OBSESSIVE STALKER MOVIES

Love is one hell of an emotion.

Everyone has their own “number one fan”. But did you ever notice in the 90s’ how obsessive- stalker-psychodrama films seemed to pop up one right after the other? Stalkersploitation was all the rage in this era and pretty much almost defined the decade in films. Hell even the biggest movies of the 90s’ like Titanic has some stalker tendencies with that asswipe Hockley and the T-1000 in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Albeit slightly different than the ones mentioned here, still the same ballpark.

Sorry Hockley, your money is no good here.

I truly am fascinated by just how many really GREAT stalker films there were in the 90s’. And the fact that so many of these are just brushed aside in passing in the horror community is quite astounding. Of course, horror is what you make of it, but the thought of someone infiltrating your very vulnerable space whether it be by an abusive/violent relationship with a significant other; or a serious traumatic event triggering an antagonist toward a selected victim, the case remains the same as far as the root of the issue: That is fucking terrifying and happens WAY more than anyone of us care to want to know about. That being said, these stalker psychodramas are right up there in terms of realistic true horror films as far as mentally screwing with you into paranoia; watching your back at every turn. So let’s celebrate with what I consider the best the decade has to offer.

10. Poison Ivy

Gonna kick off this 90s nostalgic journey with the first step into insanity with Drew Barrymore in Poison Ivy. It sure is a guilty pleasure on a rainy Sunday afternoon in the Summer and precursor to a slew of psychodrama teenage films that mimicked this formula soon after.

Ivy (Barrymore) covets her best friend Sylvie’s (Sara Gilbert) life and manipulates her way into her friend’s family; along with seducing the shit out of Sylvie’s father in an attempt to take her mother’s place- as her mother is basically knocking on death’s door with a harsh battle of emphysema. The film emphasizes on intense mood and character building as opposed to jumping right into the thills. However, the build-up is worth it. Poison Ivy is a necessity when talking about the infamous 90s obsession films, as it truly broke ground for some fan-favorites to come along in later years. It doesn’t get enough credit. I’m here for you psycho Ivy.

Show Ivy some love and pick it up here!

9. Cape Fear

I LOVE YOU TO DEATH: EXPLORING THE TOP 10 90S' OBSESSIVE STALKER MOVIES

Let’s dive deeper down stalker street with a movie I’ve talked about before here on NN, Martin Scorsese’s reimagining Cape Fear. The all-star cast of a film follows lawyer (Nick Nolte), his wife (Jessica Lange), and daughter (Juliette Lewis) through hell and back as De Niro toys and stalks each one after his lengthy prison sentence of which he blames his lawyer (Nolte) for. Most notably, De Niro’s scenes with a young Lewis is goddamn skeevy, especially when he shows up at her school, and can be a hard watch as it heads straight into pedophile territory as he tries to manipulate the girl in playing the game with Nolte to rustle some father feathers. It works. It rustled ALL our feathers.

:Shudders: Pick up your copy here!

8. The Cable Guy

This might be an unconventional choice; but fuck it. It’s my list and I do what I want. And quite frankly, Jim Carrey as a mentally disturbed friend obsessed with Matthew Broderick’s character really cracked open the door for the actor’s range capabilities. Sure he was still hilarious (the password is nipple), but in a much darker tone as the movie trenched forward.

Chip, the cable guy (Carrey) makes Steven (Broderick) one of his preferred customers after Steven asks for a cable hook up on the condition they hang out every so often. That “every so often” turns into a very intrusive, comical, and then sort of really disturbing type of relationship where things get a little dangerous for Steven and those who are close to him.

Fun Fact: The role of Chip was originally written for Chris Farley!

Grab your copy here!

7. Sleeping With The Enemy

Patrick Bergin is the goddamn devil and no one can convince me otherwise with those piercing eyes. A handsome devil? YES. But his character of Martin Burney is one hell of a nasty one.

Laura (Julia Roberts) and Martin (Bergin) seem to have the picture-perfect marriage. A beach house. High society parties. Black eyes for the wife. Oh wait.. Yeah. It’s that type of marriage. Things get so violent for poor Laura that she fakes her own death just to get away from this monster. Of course, there’s no movie without him finding out and then tracks her down to her new life she’s made- and new love interest to boot. And boy oh boy, if you thought Symphonie Fantastique was creepy in The Shining, just wait for it.

Pick it up here on Amazon.

6. Single White Female

This movie may be the sole responsible factor for the downfall in advertising for roommates they don’t know. And with good reason nowadays.

Starring Jennifer Jason Leigh and Bridget Fonda, Single White Female became a pillar for stalker thrillers of the 90s’, concocting the perfect formula for films that tried to duplicate this masterpiece years after. The roommate from Hell that basically takes over your identity, tries to screw your boyfriend, and kills your fucking dog is enough of a nightmare for anyone to even fathom. Truly one of the best here.

Grab it here!

5. The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

Peyton is such a dirty bitch that I love to hate.

Peyton (Rebecca De Mornay) had it all, until it was taken from her under some seriously tragic circumstances. Her husband, a gynecologist with “traveling hands” is called out by protagonist Claire Bartel (Annabella Sciorra) which sets off a series of events leading Miss Peyton into revenge mode by posing as a nanny for the Bartel family. Peyton is clearly suffering a psychotic break brought on by PTSD, and while I’m a massive advocate for mental health, it certainly doesn’t excuse the atrocities of her behavior. I’d almost feel bad for her if like, murder and shit wasn’t involved. Although I admit that I, and I think most parents did everywhere, cracked a smile when she told that kid bully she was “gonna rip his fuckin’ head off. “

Anyway, pick up one of my personal favorites here!

4. One Hour Photo

I LOVE YOU TO DEATH: EXPLORING THE TOP 10 90S' OBSESSIVE STALKER MOVIES

EDIT: I for some reason had it in my mind this movie came out in 1998- when it was actually released in 2002. I fucked up. But we’re gonna keep it in here because it’s Robin Williams and eh, close enough to the 90s’.

Oh how I miss Robin Williams and writing this piece only perpetuates that feeling even more as I recall this being the first film I saw as our childhood funny man in that really sort of disturbed the fuck out of us.

Sy the friendly neighborhood photo guy seems nice enough. He’s super friendly, helpful, and can generate one hell of a roll of film to perfection. However, he also has kind of an unhealthy obsession with a certain family he’s been developing pictures for 10 years. So much so he often fantasizes about being apart of it. Which wouldn’t be so creepy if he didn’t have an entire room in his apartment covered in pictures of them. And when something goes a little awry within this family that compromises his picture-perfect fantasy, Sy isn’t having this shit- which leads to a very dangerous situation for everyone involved in his twisted, and highly illegal fetish.

Grab your physical copy here!

3. The Crush

Before she was “clueless”, Alicia Silverstone turned heads in this teenage angst psychodrama where she just couldn’t take no for an answer from Cary Elwes. The Crush is basically a more fun, Fatal Attraction for younger viewers and Adrian is right up with Glenn Close in her role as psycho woman- except she’s only 14 in the film. Which just ups the creep factor even higher.

Cary Elwes rents a guest house from a wealthy family with a strong-head daughter Adrian (Silverstone). It’s clear from the start Adrian has some odd tendencies; but that becomes more clear as she seduces the much older Elwes over and over again in some really cringe worthy ways. When she is rejected, enter stalker level psycho Adrian who is pretty much going to make this guy’s life hell because she’s in love with him?! It’s a lot man. And it is so damn good.

Need a copy? As you wish…

2. Misery

Ahh, Annie Wilkes. The poster-child for the obsessive fan in all of us. Well, except she takes it just a little too far.

Misery is the magnum opus in the horror community as far as obsessive stalkers are concerned and without a doubt, Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) is top-notch terrifying as she stalked her prey, author Paul Sheldon (James Caan). Wilkes staged an accident, and held the guy hostage torturing him all along the way in the name of love. Well, whatever love means to a cockadoody brain like Wilkes. Which I suppose means imprisoning her obsession and forcing a narrative in her mind under her supervision. It’s fan servicing taken to a literal extreme. And I love it.

Get the collector’s edition from SHOUT! Factory here!

1. FEAR

I LOVE YOU TO DEATH: EXPLORING THE TOP 10 90S' OBSESSIVE STALKER MOVIES

When anyone thinks of 90s’ stalker lovies, FEAR is the one that almost always comes up and with good reason- it is goddamn insane and has every film trope done right a movie like this warrants: and ok, Marky Mark showing off his umm, skillful hands on a roller coaster is a nice added bonus.

This chest-pounding treasure of our childhoods was a stern warning to young female adolescents who are becoming impatient in their very normal sexual frustrations and needing to feel loved. Poor Nicole (Reese Witherspoon) fell hook, line, and sinker for David’s (Mark Wahlberg) charm and Boston accent. Only later to reveal he’s an extremely dangerous, and unstable individual. Pretty much like everyone else on this list. Except he kills a dog. And not just kills it, but beheads it. And that my friends, is the true epitome of evil. So congrats David, you piece of shit! You made it to number one!

Grab your physical copy here and at the time of writing this, is on sale for $1.88!!! Get it now before the price goes up!

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Happy Dirty 30! Top Ten Horror Movies of 1991!

HAPPY DIRTY 30! TOP TEN HORROR MOVIES OF 1991!

Every time I do one of these lists, I feel like I’m hammering another nail in my coffin. But, I’m a glutton for punishment and the morbid destiny that awaits me.

Unlike the year’s predecessor, lower-budget horror dominated 1991. I feel like a good portion of these are considered mediocre in the general public’s POV. But, I also know that in that same breath, we still watch the shit out of them. That has to amount to something. Also, if you got no love for Full Moon, we might have a problem there, buddy.

Plus, you know, nostalgia and stuff.

Anywho, I’ve attached some handy Amazon links with the movies listed in the case one or two catches your eye and need to expand your beautiful horror collection. Full disclosure: I may earn like two cents or something if you buy through this website. Buy hey, if enough of you buy Puppet Master 3, I could totally get a Crunchwrap Supreme for dinner! I’m certainly not opposed to that.

Now onwards to the best horror movies of 1991!

10. Puppet Master 3: Toulon’s Revenge

Ahh the Charles Band masterpiece of The Puppet Master returns in the second sequel of the franchise and takes us out of the creepy hotel setting and straight into World War II. We get to see our little friends fight off Nazis, with the new addition of Six Shooter joining the band of marionettes- and really, those are both huge selling points right there. We also get not one, but TWO origin stories involving Leech Woman and Blade, which totally makes me overlook the fact the story is set in 1941, when in fact according to the first film, Toulon died in 1939.

Honestly, its a little boo-boo but all the puppet action paired with the former statements, makes you forget all about it and just enjoy Six Shooter unloading his guns into Nazi-scum with his wonderous little painted smirk.

Get the blu-ray here on Amazon!

9. WE GOT A TIE

Subspecies/The Pit And The Pendulum

I just couldn’t choose between both these Full Moon gems so I’m breaking the rules and giving them BOTH the number nine spot!

Let’s start with the intelligent Subspecies. The film lays out a fresh take on the old, and sometimes tired, vampire story with many films to follow later in the catalog. The practical effects and stop-motion puppets that Full Moon is infamous for, are done superbly well here in a film where a kingdom of a family of vampires thrives in this dark, gothic horror fairy tale with some KING Angus Scrimm thrown in the mix. The film also really goes balls deep into the folklore of the creatures, and is actually filmed in Romania instead of a back-studio lot which really puts the movie in a class of its own in the vampire genre.

It’s really hard not to love this one with a vampire family feud going on with some college students in the mix to get the story going. Perfect independent, straight-to-VHS horror film in 1991!

Pick it up on Amazon here!

Another Full Moon treasure, The Pit and the Pendulum starring Lance Henriksen is a must see for any horror fan. Derived and twisted from the brilliant mind and tales from Edgar Allen Poe, the adaptation is directed by master Stuart Gordon and in true Gordon fashion- the movie is just so beautiful to look at.

Set in the Spanish Inquisition, Grand Inquisitor Torquemada (Henriksen), leads the way in a bloody reign of terror in outing people as a witches. The torture scenes are pretty gruesome, and Henrikson really gives his all in the part; In an almost over the top kind of way that really sells the shit out of this horrid character.

Pick up the final part of the Full Moon holy trinity circa 1991 here!

8. Unborn

UGH. I remember first seeing this horrifying piece of cinematic terror at a slumber party back in the early 90s’ and lemme tell you- it put the fear of GOD in me in regards to EVER getting pregnant for the next 10 years. Well, until my daughter came along in 2004, but hey it was enough to scar me until I was an adult and ready. So if you want a crash Sex-Ed course for your pre-teens, Unborn is the way to go.

As far as feminine body-horror goes, this flick ranks right up there as we follow a woman in an in-vitro fertilization program run by a sketch doctor and wild shit happens to her body. However, what comes out of it is the tippy-top cherry of that pregnancy horror sundae. It’ll forever haunt the baby blues out of you.

Pick up the little bastard right here!

7. Sometimes, They Come Back

There are two types of people in this world: those who love this Stephen King TV adaptation from the Night Shift collection, and those who want to bury it inside deepest pits of TV Movie Hell where these greaser ghosts were trying to avoid all along.

I’m happy to say I’m not of the latter, thank you.

The movie relays on more practical thriller scares rather than gore. And perhaps as follow up only a mere six months after of the premiere of IT, maybe it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Anyways, the movie follows a high-school teacher and his family who come back to his home-town to face his past that entails his older brother being murdered by a greaser gang in his childhood years. Now the slick dicks are dead, and are possessing the bodies of his students in an effort to murder him.

Poor Tim Matheson can’t catch a break. Pick up the nostalgic 90s’ Stephen King TV gold here!

6. Cape Fear (1991)

The in-your-face reboot of J. Lee Thompson’s 1962 thriller modernized by the pair of Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro managed to revamp the classic into a terrifying, paranoid tale of psycho, rapey revenge.

The all-star cast of a film follows a lawyer (Nick Nolte), his wife (Jessica Lange), and daughter (Juliette Lewis) through hell and back as De Niro toys and stalks each one after his lengthy prison sentence of which he blames his lawyer (Nolte) for. It’s downright skeevy at times and makes it uncomfortable to watch at certain points- especially the scenes between De Niro and Lewis. However, it’s just another example of a how a classic thriller-horror can be redone in the right way.

Fun Fact: Steven Spielberg was penned to direct the remake, and had Bill Murray in mind to play as Max Cady. But, Scorsese took over and obviously brought in his alumni for the villainous role. This could have been SUCH a different vibe and honestly, I would have loved to see that.

Anyways, grab your copy here!

5. Sleeping With The Enemy

Alright, alright I know what some of you are thinking… “This isn’t horror?!” Well, my response to that is goddamnit Patrick Bergin and his knives for eyes scared THE FUCK outta me as a kid and I’ll be damned if someone tries to argue that hiding from a spouse that’s literally breaking your bones every other week isn’t a scary scenario, you be very wrong my friend.

Julia Roberts plays a battered woman who faked her death in order to escape her maniac husband and start a new life elsewhere. Things are looking up as she scores a house next door to a hunky theater professor, until the insane ex catches on to her game and tracks her down.

The film touches on PTSD from domestic violence and the lasting effects it can have on a person. Which I can totally relate to as, full disclosure, I myself am a DV survivor, And when I say survivor, I was close to being killed numerous times. So this movie in particular is quite horrifying to me. It’s something that actually isn’t far at all from a lot of women’s stories and that in itself, is enough horror for me indeed.

Grab the thriller right here!

4. Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare

Listen man, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare might not be the most beloved of the franchise. However, it’s the first Freddy film that was released theatrically when I was old enough to have a movie date with friends alone. That, paired with the tremendous hype surrounding it with Robert Englund hacking himself like the Springfield Slut to MTV, Universal Studios, and late-night talk shows with specials promoting the demise of Freddy, it’s hard not to love this mess.

Oh and it was in 3-D too!

The Final Nightmare was to be the end-all of the Springfield Slasher by the hands of his only living heir, his child no one ever knew he had. We had a new group of teens to be taken down one by one along with several notable celebrity cameos to give Freddy a proper send-off including Nightmare alumni Johnny Depp, then couple Roseanne Barr Tom Arnold, and Alice Cooper. While the film ultimately isn’t ass strong as its predessors, it has a faithful charm only a Fred-Head would truly understand and I’ll die on this hill with this shit show.

Pick it up here!

3. Child’s Play 3

HAPPY DIRTY 30! TOP TEN HORROR MOVIES OF 1991!

The line alone, “Don’t fuck with the Chuck” is well enough alone to land Chucky’s third film in the top three spot.

Chucky is back torturing a teenage Andy whose been shipped off to a military school. However this time, before he gets to to his original “friend to the end”, he runs into Tyler- a naïve young cadet that becomes manipulated in Chucky’s game and doesn’t realize it until the shit has already hit the fan.

I love everything about Child’s Play 3. Chuck’s comedic chops really shine in the third installment without it getting too corny- and that’s the last time unfortunately it happens in the ongoing series. From his shenanigans’ in the military academy, to the war grounds, to finally the carnival in the haunted hell ride is the coolest journey in this cat and mouse game.

Pick up the special Blu Ray here!

2. The People Under The Stairs

I have no unearthly idea why there’s so much hate for this movie- trust me, I’ve heard way more negative than anything– and I’m probably going to catch hell for this but I DON’T CARE. Wes Craven’s The People Under the Stairs is goddamn glorious and as about as underrated as it gets. There is so much story going on in this film it can be easy to lose focus on the underlying horrific reality leeching on the cruelty of humanity.

All the madness of abuse, slumlords, racial stereotypes with class-based conflict and manipulation is a complete projection of society at the time and is just as ever relevant today in 2021. Maybe even more so.

The story begins with “Fool” a street-smart kid who teams up with his criminal neighbor to steal a rumored bundle of gold from their asshole landlords. What they find inside the home of the demented brother and sister duo is a lot more than what they bargained for. An abused young girl. Gimp suits and shotguns. And a terrifying secret hidden under the stairs.

I mean if you’ve seen it-you know but in the case you haven’t, I’m gonna stop and direct you to this link where you should immediately buy this and put it in your eyeballs. Thanks.

  1. The Silence of The Lambs

I think it’s no surprise that the film that forever scarred me into ever getting to a size 14 in clothing, was going to be on the tippy-top of this list!

The Silence of the Lambs 1991 adaptation taken by the writings Thomas Harris made infamous in his series of novels, is and always will be-the perfect horror movie. Hannibal is so many words, is like the great white shark you never saw coming from the depths of the ocean, albeit a shark with more manners anyway. He’s cunning, highly intelligent, and for the most part, he terrifies us merely with his words. There’s no gore or action on his part for the majority of the film minus the one incident during his transfer where we actually get to see what Hannibal “The Cannibal” is actually capable of. He induces that fear in us psychologically, making us use our imagination in his conversations with Clarice. That’s one HELL of a thing to pull off in a film and thirty years later I still think about this movie at least once a week because of it.

Then, there’s Buffalo Bill. The complexity of his confused and angry character that leads him to killing and skinning women for his own personal body suit is enough to give anyone the skivvies. Throw in an awkward naked dance paired with some Q Lazzurus and we got ourselves one of the most memorable scenes from any horror movie in history. Much like with Lector, we don’t actually SEE Bill do his dirty deeds, they are only mentioned and we see a glimpse of the aftermath of one of his victims via Clarice Starling and the FBI team. Giving way, for us to use our minds and imagining the horrors these women succumbed to Which can be more frightful in any case.

Which lastly, bring us to Starling. the Mother Mary of this trifecta who has clawed her way through sexist pigs of the FBI program in an effort to escape her past and honor her deceased father. Hannibal, along with being the world’s deadliest serial killer is also a renowned psychiatrist and sees RIGHT through her upon their first meeting. That exchange sets the tone for the entire film and is one of the goddamn most utterly disturbing scenes in the while film.

Well, I mean besides ol’ Jamie Gumm dancing in front of a camera.

So yeah if you don’t have this in your collection, I don’t even know what to say other than please remedy this immediately here!

Bonus Addition! Best Family Horror Obviously Goes Toooooooooo…….

*snaps fingers*

I was trying to stick to straight horror for this list, but there’s NO WAY I could even think of leaving this out. The Addams Family, while not a scary film by any means, is part of our very important horror culture growing up and have been for generations. So it gets a whole category all to it’s self because I do what I want- in my best Cartman voice.

Charming, funny, iconic lines for days, The Addams Family is the perfect go-to for any movie night in with the family, or hell by yourself! It’s spun by the perfect cast, Raul Julia, Angelica Huston, Christopher Lloyd, and a tiny Christina Ricci displaying everything we loved about these characters’ for decades and they will always and forever be, unmatched by those personas they perfected on the big screen.

Pick it up here!