Category Archives: Editorials

Halloween III: Season Of The Witch Is The Imperfectly Perfect Halloween Film

If you would have told me ten years ago I’d be writing these following words, I would absolutely say you were out of your fucking mind. HALLOWEEN III: THE SEASON OF THE WITCH is finally recognized by most fans as a worthy entry in the beloved horror franchise; and honestly I couldn’t be more pleased that SOB Colonel Cochran is part of the inclusive horror legends club.

Now, John Carpenter’s Halloween and it’s sequels, particularly 2 and 4, are of course amazing and essential Halloween viewing. However, Season of the Witch is an entirely different bag of dicks in the franchise as we all know and although the fans have been much kinder to the red-headed stepchild of the series in recent years, the hatred still exists for those unwilling to accept a non-Michael Myers Halloween movie.

To that, I just have this to say…

Which brings me to a very good point that we can only watch Myers gut up teenagers so many times before our brain sensors tell us enough; we want something else. Which is precisely what John Carpenter had in mind when studios were pushing for another Halloween film from the director after burning Michael alive in Halloween II. The Shape was dead and Carpenter grew tired of the story- hence Season of the Witch came to be with the idea of a Halloween horror anthology series focusing on different and terrifying urban legends and folklore surrounding the holiday. The main idea of the film would be “witchcraft meets the computer age.” They brought in Joe Dante ( Gremlins) to direct, and hired the remarkable Nigel Kneale (the Quatermass films) to pen the script, which focused on modern-day Druids practicing Halloween in the old-fashioned way. Oh and well, with a couple of androids thrown in. After all, the early to mid-eighties movies focused a LOT on technologic advances; peering into the future with slave robots and such.

Now get Pauley that beer SICO.

Dante dropped out of the project when Steven Spielberg and John Landis offered him a chance to participate in Twilight Zone: The Movie. Even though Halloween III was a box-office bomb, I’d much rather be associated with Season of the Witch than a movie that contributed to the death of three people. Anyways, in stepped in Tommy Lee Wallace to direct who also helped Carpenter coin that Silver Shamrock jingle that is forever imbedded into our brains as some sort of fucked up version of “London Bridge Is Falling Down”; which is exactly what the tune was modeled after.

Halloween III may be the most “halloweeniest” of all the movies in the franchise- yeah, I just made that word up for all-intensive purposes. It takes every aspect of the beloved holiday and throws it all together in this film like a delightful bowl of Halloween candy varieties. When you think of Halloween, you think costumes, children, trick or treating- and this installment has it all and then some. Along with aheavy dose of old-world style witchcraft. For the longest time, society has paired witches and Halloween together in an unholy matrimony. It’s sort of problematic to practicing witches, as they are who they are all year round, and they are certainly not evil, but that’s an argument for another day. It’s never been a deal breaker for me so let’s move on.

While, other films in the franchise may have scenes involving Trick or Treating that set the nostalgic Halloween mood, Halloween III focuses on the premise of DEATH by trick or treating and their beloved masks. That’s pretty fucked up and to boot, the film had the balls to kill a kid very brutally in front of us. It was trailblazing at its finest.

As for atmospheric settings, one could never forget the montage near the end with that Silver Shamrock jingle going off in the background like some sort of death march for the children decked out in their Silver Shamrock masks rushing through a night of candy- collecting all in an effort to get home in time for “the big giveaway”. Beyond the opening credits and nighttime neighborhood scenes in Halloween 4, this movie gives off the some of the most Spidey-senses worthy moments of the holiday ever captured in these films. My favorite moment, and maybe the most iconic, is the group of children trekking across a dark landscape, silhouetted against a pumpkin-orange sky. Few images in the Halloween series better sum up the spirit of Halloween night as much as this one moment right here.

It’s a true aesthetic pleasure to say the very least.

Then, there’s Conal Cochran: the most underrated horror villain of Halloween… EVER.

I don’t use the word “underrated” lightly, however, I feel it’s quite appropriate here. Conal Cochran (Dan O’Herlihy), the proprietor of Silver Shamrock Novelties and sworn allegiance to the dark arts of Witchcraft make him for a dangerous enemy to have indeed; especially if you’re a kid. Cochran, presumably has way more kills under his belt than not only his film predecessor Myers, but the holy trinity of slashers themselves – Freddy, Jason, and Michael. And think about this: The ending is open-ended and leaves us to speculate whether the final commercial ran its full course. If it did, then Cochran would have succeeded in committing mass genocide of children across the United States.

What a dick, eh? Cochran, who uses his success of his company to coordinate the largest Samhain sacrifice to appease the Celtic Gods on the glorious night of Halloween, is as evil and terrifying as they come. As if his ominous stare downs weren’t creepy enough, his monologue alone is chilling to the bone (the thrill and absolute madness in his voice sells it completely). Cochran is hardcore. But as tough as he was, he was no match for Tom Atkins: The Man, The Myth, The Mustache. If anyone can save the world from a Pagan madman, beer guzzling- womanizing Dr. Challis was gonna be that guy.

While the movie has gained moderate success over the past few years, maybe the key factor in acceptance of the bastard installment is our own maturity and longing for the nostalgia aspect of what Halloween once represented. As children, we hated it. As adults, we embraced it as the perfectly imperfect Halloween film it is. What a grand joke on the children, eh?

{Watch} NBC Broadcast Fan Edit Of “Halloween 4” With Commercials!

Look, if you’re new here- Welcome to the wild world of Halloween 4 fandom where I hold this movie in a higher regard than maybe should be allowed in the horror community. But hey, this is my blog godammnit and what I say goes: HALLOWEEN 4 IS THE GOAT FOR NOSTALGIA. And apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so. Another retro horror blogger The End Of Summer decided to honor the spooky season and one of the greatest 80s’ movies of all time with a very well done fan broadcast edit of Halloween 4 if the film were to have been screened on television in the late eighties.

I nearly had a heart attack upon seeing this. Thanks Lando and original poster Todd_Spence for the heads up on Twitter!

Anyways, this isn’t the first time this blog has done this sort of thing. Before making this illustrious retrolicious filled internet content, the blog also made a fan-edit broadcast with Dawn Of The Dead. Filled with that complete aesthetic feel of what we remember horror movies looking like on prime time Friday night television, the fan edit completes that nostalgic feeling breaking with commercials that fall in line with a 1989 October airing. One word- BOGLINS.

The thing is even edited down to coincide with network FCC standards. That’s commitment folks. Pretty sure I have a retro phantom boner right now. Make sure you head on over to End Of Summer‘s website to check out their other fun blog entries and enjoy this little internet treasure that everyone should watch this Halloween- or now. Hell make it everyday, I probably will.

Casualties Of Horror: Let’s Look At The Other “Halloween” Victims That Weren’t Killed By Michael Myers

Casualties Of Horror: Let's Look At The Other "Halloween" Victims That Weren't Killed By Michael Myers

Let’s face it. Generally, most victims of the Halloween franchise don’t deserve to get gutted like a jack-o-lantern; and by an escaped lunatic at that. But what about the “casualties of the horror movie”? You know, the people not directly killed off by Michael Myers, but suffered an agonizing death for the sake of moving the film along. I mean, that’s pretty fucked up when you think about. These people, who through no fault of their own nor had any connection really to the true victims’ in question, ended up getting fucked over all in the name of the slasher film.

And I’m here to salute the lot of you. So let’s celebrate in remembrance the victims of the Halloween series for their civic horror service duty.

Ben Tramer

Poor Ben Tramer never got his giddy date with Laurie. Good ol’ Ben was mentioned in the first film as a particular love interest via Laurie, and Annie later on spilled the beans to him over the phone; embarrassing the ever-loving shit out of Laurie. In the sequel, we never see his face as he’s wearing the same mask as Myers, stumbling along on Halloween night in the middle of a manhunt for Michael. Spotted by Loomis, the doctor runs after him waving his gun, probably scaring the shit out of the kid whose already pretty tipsy from a Halloween party. In which I’m sure the anxiety of the situation disorientates him as he walks in the middle of the road to his dire fate. A patrolman tries to screech to a halt, but the kid is hit and then smashed into another vehicle crushing his body; and then the cars explode, sealing the death deal! What a fucked up way to die.

Anyway, here’s the closest we ever got to seeing Ben’s actual face and the aftermath of the accident.

Buddy Kupfer Jr

Yeah so ok, everyone in Season of the Witch was killed off by Cochran and his goons while having nothing to do with the rest of the franchise or Myers entirely, but goddamn was this brutal and hey; he and his family wasn’t killed by Myers so I’ll allow it!

Anyway, we all know the masks are a disguised killing machine for kids all over the world that’s activated by the Silver Shamrock commercial. So when Dr. Challis gets to watch a demonstration of the masks work via the companies’ top salesmen and his family, it’s well… beyond messed up and an awful way to die, especially for a kid! I mean, holy shit this is overkill like that poor boy from Toxic Avenger. Cochran really hates children and in many ways, I think is WAY more evil than Michael. Say what you will about Myers, but he’s no child killer. (Not counting the newer films anyway).

Ted Hollister

“Shiiiyet Earl, it’s Ted Hollister!” – never gets old.

Another face we never get to see, (although the shooters claim to have seen it, LOL) is that of Ted Hollister, random resident of Haddonfield in Halloween 4. Seeing as how the city’s police force had already been mostly wiped out from Myers, this lynch mob of private justice was the town’s only hope. Shot to death by Earl Ford, Allan and Orin Gateway, and Unger in overkill fashion in a frenzy of panic and anger as Myers is on the rampage yet again in his hometown. Guy was most likely sitting there enjoying that wonderful neighborhood ambience on a Halloween night and got nailed for it with multiple shotgun blasts.

Dr. Terence Wynn

Dr. Terence Wynn is a character who first appeared in the original Halloween, played by Robert Phalen and presumably, Loomis’ superior. We don’t actually find out the “man in black” as presented in Halloween 5 is actually him until Curse of Michael Myers in 1995; but goddamn did he go on a rampage shooting up Ben Meeker and his entire police station in an effort to help Myers escape from his jail cell; AND with a machine gun! I guess being in the Cult of Thorn grants you access to high-powered firearms. ‘Merica.

H20’S Paramedic

Oh boy, this guy was an essential story and plot point to that Resurrection mess and all he get’s credited as is the “paramedic”. Now if that isn’t as fucked up as it gets then I don’t even know what could possibly surpass that. Getting mistakenly beheaded by Laurie and we don’t even have the name for the guy that sets it all up for Myers to return?!

Get the fuck outta’ here. Frank. Let’s call him Frank.

WE SALUTE YOU FRANK.

Special Consideration: Everyone Else at Haddonfield Hospital Killed in the Fire?

Why don’t we ever talk about the fact that Loomis, YES LOOMIS, blew up an entire wing of a hospital along with everyone in it just to kill Michael? I mean, that’s basic homicidal maniac behavior. And let’s not forget there were newborn babies in that place! We’re they apart of that death count? No one can say for certain, however, if you recall from the Halloween II clip below where the deputy is accounting for “ten bodies so far” leads us to assume and acknowledge that the final death count has yet to be tallied.

Beyond the fire itself, the clinic, as it’s referred to isn’t that big as compared to a normal hospital square footage, and the smoke alone would travel from a gas blast such as that to other areas of the building rather quickly. I’m just not buying it that they all lived just fine through that wreckage. Which is absolutely devastating to even think about.

Anyways, thanks casualties of Halloween for laying down your lives for plot points. You deserve to be recognized.