Category Archives: Wrestling Memories

The Insane 1985 WWF Halloween Party And Land Of 1000 Dances!

Sweet Goddess I love retro wrestling. In the 80s’, Saturday Night’s Main Event was THEE late-night television special to watch on the weekend. In 1985, the then called WWF (WWE) blew up all over mainstream and Hulkamania was indeed running wild all over our faces. From Saturday morning cartoons, live events, and the first ever Wrestlemania, there was no stopping the WWF train. When they threw in Saturday Night’s Main Event as a deal with SNL’s producers as a replacement for the NBC show reruns, ratings skyrocketed and it became a more regular airing for the network. While the shows were inconstant with an airing schedule in their premiere year, there was ONE particular episode that sated on my mind for years to come- and that was of course, the WWF HALLOWEEN PARTY that featured the infamous LAND OF 1000 DANCES!

The third ever Saturday Night’s Main Event was taped on October 31st, 1985 and aired on November 2nd with an insane Halloween party interjecting in-between matches; one being a Kung-Fu match between Ricky Steamboat and Mr. Fuji that is as entertaining as that sounds.  The Halloween party hosed by a pumpkin donning Mean Gene turned into a competition of course between the faces and heels with the “good guys” being captained by Lou Albano (dressed as Julius Caesar) and his teammates Tito Santana (as Zorro), Hulk Hogan (as Hercules), Hillbilly Jim, Uncle Elmer, and Cousin Junior (as the Three Musketeers. Heenan (dressed as Davey Crockett but constantly mistaken for a weasel heh) was joined by Randy Savage with Miss Elizabeth (as Tarzan and Jane), The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff (as Batman and Robin), and King Kong Bundy (as Abraham Lincoln). The “games” consisted of bobbing for pumpkins, a pumpkin toss, and a hilarious pie-eating contest (seen below) that ends up in a food fight because why wouldn’t it!? The weasel, I mean, Davey Crockett Heenan easily beats Junior in the pumpkin bobbing (with that mouth is anyone surprised?) and Albano gluttonously defeats Bundy in the pie-eating segment- leaving the score 1-1 and all the Halloween Heavyweight Champion of games to be settled in the “pumpkin toss”.

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I don’t know why the hell it’s called a pumpkin toss when the game consists of having teams of wrestlers pass a pumpkin underneath their chin. You know that game you do at middle school parties in a weird attempt to get close to the opposite sex? Well instead of that, you get a bunch of giant wrestlers in costumes trying to do it. It’s every bit as awkward as it sounds and I love every second of it. Anyway, the game ends when Elizabeth fumbles the gourd and Randy Savage scolds her in such a way you’d thought the woman killed Jesus or something.

While the Halloween party is ensuing in hilarity, we get to visit Roddy Piper in his “rented American home” and see how the rowdy one spends the spooky holiday with Vince McMahon there to interview and give us play by play deets. Like out of a Halloween urban legend joke, Piper wraps up bricks to make them look like giant chocolates, and bowling balls disguised as giant candy apples because hey, according to him the Scottish like to celebrate “the trick” in Trick or Treat. Trick or Treaters arrive, one dressed as the Hulkster so of course this pisses Roddy off. In typical Hot Rod behavior, Piper demeans them and tricks them into giving him their candy in exchange for his asinine-sized fake candy. It’s a total prick moment that showcases why we love to hate the guy and then karma rears it’s ugly head when the kids’ actually slipped him hot peppers disguised as candy. PRICELESS.

Finally, we end with The Land of 100 Dances that was a promotion tie-in for the Rock ‘N” Wrestling connection with MTV. With Meatloaf on the drums and Cyndi Lauper singing back-up, this superstar-filled wrestling WTF has become legendary and no better way to introduce this now nostalgic nugget of WWE history than during their Halloween special?! The thing that kills me is Mr. Wonderful kissing his fuckin’ biceps for the entire duration of the music video along with Piper sticking a Goonies movie promotion in there; as I’m sure you recall, the WWF and Cyndi Lauper did a massive promo for that film with the “Good Enough” video. Also another reason why Roddy is the goddamn GOAT. Fuck I miss that guy.

Anyways, here’s visual proof that this wasn’t some sort of fever dream we all had 36 years ago and a friendly reminder that “Hogan’s such a YOYO.”

[Video] Stand Back! It’s The 1987 WWE Slammy Awards!

Ahh, the Slammy Awards. First introduced in 1986 in a mockumentary-style of the prestigious Grammy Awards all to promote the Rockin’ Wrestling conjunction WWF Wrestling Album, Vince McMahon rode that wave of world wide domination success and made his own damn awards show for his Superstars. While most of the show was of course scripted and meant to entertain much like the matches themselves, there was some seriousness to it which became more-so later on in the following years where getting a Slammy was indeed, a great honor in the sport. But, yeah- it didn’t really start out that way and I got the receipts to prove it.

[VIDEO] THE FISH-SLAPPING 1987 WWE SLAMMY AWARDS!

I could stop right here but that isn’t any fun now is it?

Despite being billed as the “37th Annual Slammy Awards“, the program returned on December 16th, 1987 with hosts “Mean Gene” Okerlund and Jesse “The Body” Ventura in a perfect nuance of entertainment announcing while the likes of McMahon (above), Jimmy Hart, and of course, the Honkey Tonk Man performed (or lip synced rather) some umm.. original musical hits. Ending on a “high note” with the entire roster in attendance clapping and singing to their new hit, “If You Only Knew”. Again, all in the name of promotional purposes for the entertainment giant’s second sophomore album (I can’t believe I just said that) “Piledriver”.

The Fink led us into this wild ride with wrestlers showing up in ambulances, motorcycles, dressed to the nine for the all-inclusive Black Tie Spandex Event. Well, except for the Ultimate Warrior; ask him to put on a tux and you’ll essentially just get him in his bicycle ribbons and underwear.

Awards like the Best Performance by an Animal, Best Manager (heh), and Best Ring Apparel were pretty much spoofs and set ups for some comedy entertainment. However, awards like the Hulk Hogan Real American Award presented to Superstar Billy Graham and The Woman of The Year that went to Miss Elizabeth (albeit the setup for that was comedy gold as well), were actually heartfelt and well deserved pat on the backs for these sports stars.

But let’s talk about the real stars of the show here: Hacksaw Jim Duggen and King Harley Race. With the award for Best Ring Attire up for grabs, Duggen was at the podium announcing the nominees along with presenting the award. Now, of course, upon opening the envelope to see his long-time feuding opponent Race has won, has Duggen a bit underwhelmed and doesn’t even want to say his name; forcing the stage-hand co-presenter to mutter the words of the winner. Accompanying the “King” onstage to accept is manager, Bobby Heenan, he ridicules Duggen and proposes the “peon” bow to his superior. Well, we all know we have a better chance of seeing Hacksaw straightening his lazy eye out than watching him bow to the likes of this fucker; so the brawl begins and last throughout the entire damn program.

Starting on the stage and making their way all around the building, the pair throw everything they have at each other, including LIVE CHICKENS and a giant fish. Heh. Still to this day hearing Gorilla Monsoon say, “OH BIG FISH RIGHT IN THE KISSER!” is the celebrated commentator’s Magnum Opus.

Also, why the hell was there just a random donkey hanging out backstage?

Good times.

Watch the entire ham and cheese program, especially if you need a good laugh today, right here with a big shout out to Scott’s Wrestling Collection Youtube channel for uploading this masterpiece.

Just Because: Here’s The “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s Wild And Weird Bachelor Party (1991)

Listen, growing up the WWF (yeah ok WWE) served as the ultimate soap opera for kids and young adults. It had everything; drama, ass-kicking, comedy and yes even love stories. The biggest of which during the 80s’ and 90s’ was the long and drawn out love and war tale of the “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth. One, I might add, I was fully invested in a young girl as Elizabeth was like a real life Barbie doll in the middle of all the chaos. I would get totally upset when she was treated like an asshole, whether it by Savage himself, or some other dickhead like the infamous push from the Honkey Tonk Man on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

YOU MONSTER.

Anyways, throughout the pair’s tumultuous journey in the WWE, the real life married duo were set to tie the knot at an over-the-top spectacle at Summer Slam 1991 as part of the “Match Made of Heaven” and “Match Made in Hell” promos for the Pay Per View event. The ceremony took place at the tail end of the show and set up for one of the GREATEST and severely underrated wrestling feuds of all time-which also led into a grand slam babyface turn for one of the industries most legendary superstars, (Don’t worry, I have an entire piece dedicated to this coming next week). So more on that coming soon. But, how about the goddamn glorious Bachelor Party that was thrown for Savage a week prior to the Main Event?!

If you don’t remember, get ready for a wild ride.

Broadcast on the USA network as part of Prime Time Wrestling on August 12th, 1991, a weird and wild bachelor party was being thrown for the televised groom-to-be by and was shown in increments in-between matches throughout the program. Supposedly all to be set up by the weasel Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, he lives up to his nickname as he of course, weasels out of the manual labor aspects leaving it up to the likes of Mean Gene Okerlund, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Sean Mooney.

The guest list at the party includes some of the WWE’s whackiest bunch of the time including The Bushwhackers, Koko B. Ware, the Slickster, and the ultimate life-of-the-party Roddy Piper! I mean, who wouldn’t want to throw back a few beers with the Rowdy one?! Especially after that “Sherri Fish” remark that was made after her crash appearance. Bless those memorable Rowdy ad-libs. There were also a few, of what I assume behind the scenes workers dressed up and thrown in as fillers, including a very nerdy dude shown throughout the party. No clue who he is and I can’t recall ever seeing him prior or after so if anyone knows who this dude is, drop a comment below.

Finally the party gets started when the Macho Madness arrives and madness indeed it is as dancers begin to show up to drive these guys, as Gorilla Monsoon would say, BANANAS. As indicated in one scene where one of the dancer’s back is to the camera and shows the guys her goods. Make sure to pay special attention to Piper’s reaction because it’s damn priceless .

Besides the fact we get to see The Bushwhackers dance with a stripper in all its gloriousness, the Bachelor Party does as a matter of fact, serve a purpose in the storytelling lines for upcoming drama between Jake the Snake and Randy Savage as Jake is denied entry into the party from security. Reason being Savage gives the excise that Elizabeth hates snakes and therefore, his presence is a no go. Behind the curtains, the real-life marriage was on the rocks and headed for divorce, so albeit all for show, kind of funny how much she’s got him by the balls here even she isn’t around- and it’s about time! Considering for years he really did her treat her like dirt on camera. However, the victory for the little lady ended up turning into almost a year-long feud between the two wrestlers with some of the most shocking stunts portrayed on television to date.

Worth noting is the intermediate promos for the 900 Hulk number. $1.49 for the first minute, and .99 cents every additional minute! Gotta love those hotlines back in the day that caused many an ass whoopings.

OK, enough rambling. Here it is in all it’s glory with a thank you shoutout to Youtube Channel Kingdom Of Madness for uploading this long-lost treasure! Stay tuned next week as we dive into the feud that flamed from this incident!