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Casualties Of Horror: Let’s Look At The Other “Halloween” Victims That Weren’t Killed By Michael Myers

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Casualties Of Horror: Let's Look At The Other "Halloween" Victims That Weren't Killed By Michael Myers

Let’s face it. Generally, most victims of the Halloween franchise don’t deserve to get gutted like a jack-o-lantern; and by an escaped lunatic at that. But what about the “casualties of the horror movie”? You know, the people not directly killed off by Michael Myers, but suffered an agonizing death for the sake of moving the film along. I mean, that’s pretty fucked up when you think about it. These people, who through no fault of their own nor had any connection really to the true victims’ in question, ended up getting fucked over all in the name of the slasher film.

And I’m here to salute the lot of you. So let’s celebrate in remembrance of the victims of the Halloween series for their civic horror service duty.

Ben Tramer

Poor Ben Tramer never got his giddy date with Laurie. Good ol’ Ben was mentioned in the first film as a particular love interest via Laurie, and Annie, later on, spilled the beans to him over the phone; embarrassing the ever-loving shit out of Laurie. In the sequel, we never see his face as he’s wearing the same mask as Myers, stumbling along on Halloween night in the middle of a manhunt for Michael. Spotted by Loomis, the doctor runs after him waving his gun, probably scaring the shit out of the kid who’s already pretty tipsy from a Halloween party. I’m sure the anxiety of the situation disorientates him as he walks in the middle of the road to his dire fate. A patrolman tries to screech to a halt, but the kid is hit and then smashed into another vehicle crushing his body; and then the cars explode, sealing the death deal! What a fucked up way to die.

Anyway, here’s the closest we ever got to see Ben’s actual face and the aftermath of the accident.

Buddy Kupfer Jr

Yeah so ok, everyone in Season of the Witch was killed off by Cochran and his goons while having nothing to do with the rest of the franchise or Myers entirely, but goddamn was this brutal, and hey; he and his family weren’t killed by Myers so I’ll allow it!

Anyway, we all know the masks are a disguised killing machine for kids all over the world that’s activated by the Silver Shamrock commercial. So when Dr. Challis gets to watch a demonstration of the masks work via the companies’ top salesmen and his family, it’s well… beyond messed up and an awful way to die, especially for a kid! I mean, holy shit this is overkill like that poor boy from Toxic Avenger. Cochran really hates children and in many ways, I think is WAY eviler than Michael. Say what you will about Myers, but he’s no child killer. (Not counting the newer films anyway).

Ted Hollister

“Shiiiyet Earl, it’s Ted Hollister!” – never gets old.

Another face we never get to see, (although the shooters claim to have seen it, LOL) is that of Ted Hollister, a random resident of Haddonfield in Halloween 4. Seeing as how the city’s police force had already been mostly wiped out from Myers, this lynch mob of private justice was the town’s only hope. Shot to death by Earl Ford, Allan and Orin Gateway, and Unger in overkill fashion in a frenzy of panic and anger as Myers is on the rampage yet again in his hometown. Guy was most likely sitting there enjoying that wonderful neighborhood ambiance on a Halloween night and got nailed for it with multiple shotgun blasts.

Dr. Terence Wynn

Dr. Terence Wynn is a character who first appeared in the original Halloween, played by Robert Phalen and presumably, Loomis’ superior. We don’t actually find out the “man in black” as presented in Halloween 5 is actually him until Curse of Michael Myers in 1995; but goddamn did he go on a rampage shooting up Ben Meeker and his entire police station in an effort to help Myers escape from his jail cell; AND with a machine gun! I guess being in the Cult of Thorn grants you access to high-powered firearms. ‘Merica.

H20’S Paramedic

Oh boy, this guy was an essential story and plot point to that Resurrection mess and all he get’s credited as is the “paramedic”. Now if that isn’t as fucked up as it gets then I don’t even know what could possibly surpass that. Getting mistakenly beheaded by Laurie and we don’t even have the name for the guy that sets it all up for Myers to return?!

Get the fuck outta here. Frank. Let’s call him Frank.

WE SALUTE YOU FRANK.

Willy The Kid/ Corey’s Bullies

Oh, Corey. So many people hated Halloween Ends, and in perfect Charles Cyphers fashion, everyone is entitled to one good-or bad opinion. Most of that hate stemmed from the fact most of the kills were performed by the new shape, Corey Cunnigham, as Myers at this point was withering away in a sewer like an old man. But, you know what? I rather enjoyed this fresh take. Sometimes it’s nice to see something new and different, ( Season of the Witch anyone)? I cheered for Corey. I wanted him to take down the bullies in particular. The ending was shit and sloppy as hell but everything else up to that point was pure glee for me personally. Love him or hate him, these kills were pretty cool and Michael Myers approved.

Special Consideration: Everyone Else at Haddonfield Hospital Killed in the Fire?

Why don’t we ever talk about the fact that Loomis, YES LOOMIS, blew up an entire wing of a hospital along with everyone in it just to kill Michael? I mean, that’s basic homicidal maniac behavior. And let’s not forget there were newborn babies in that place! Were they apart of that death count? No one can say for certain, however, if you recall from the Halloween II clip below where the deputy is accounting for “ten bodies so far” leads us to assume and acknowledge that the final death count has yet to be tallied.

Beyond the fire itself, the clinic, as it’s referred to isn’t that big as compared to a normal hospital square footage, and the smoke alone would travel from a gas blast such as that to other areas of the building rather quickly. I’m just not buying it that they all lived just fine through that wreckage. Which is absolutely devastating to even think about.

Anyways, thanks casualties of Halloween for laying down your lives for plot points. You deserve to be recognized.

Retro Reviews

The Most Terrifying of Them All: Cannon Movie Tales’ “Snow White”

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The Most Terrifying of Them All: Cannon Films' "Snow White"

I was never much of a fairy tale kind of kid, but Snow White is a story that I hold very dear to my heart. It’s dark, gritty, and relatable to me in such a way because I really had an Evil Queen as a mother. Sometimes step-parents can be a Godsend, while our real birth-givers are toxic entities in our lives, and it’s even worse when you’re a child if not traumatic altogether. My real mother is a narcissistic bipolar who was jealous of her own daughter growing up (why? I’ll never get that), which made my life growing up with her until she split pretty much a living hell. Without going into too much detail, I was treated rather poorly and my way of coping was escapism through a lot of horror films. And then there was this movie I ended up watching over a hundred times in my youth because it was not only, what I thought, was the best version of the gothic fairy tale, but it had elements of horror sprinkled in there that were done rather well. Before Snow White: A Tale Of Terror came around anyway exactly 10 years after the fact.

Dating all the way back to 1916, The Brothers’ Grimm tale of envy and horror has been adapted cinematically over and over again in the past 100 years of film. It may be one of the most tried and true stories to be reinvented every few years or so for audiences, via animation or live-action. While some details differ from each revamping of the 1812 German fairy tale, the major plot remains the same not giving too much room for suspense. However, in the 80s’, Cannon Movie Tales’ version of the fair maiden and her seven little friends came in swinging as the most faithful adaptation of the original story to date; and definitely lives up to the gothic nature that really is The Brothers’ Grimm as some of it is goddamn visually terrifying.

I mean, the magic mirror is straight-up made of nightmares, y’all.

Albeit the Evil Queen’s fate in the original story, Cannon’s Snow White gets most of the gritty details from the original right, even down to the apple core dislodging from her throat in transport. The movie stars Nicola Stapleton/Sarah Peterson as Snow White, Billy Barty from Willow and Legend fame, and Diana Rigg as the evil Queen who stole the whole show, and also induced a ton of nightmares as she did her job rather well. The rage and tone that comes off from this woman in the film is one for the books and to this day, unmatched by any Evil Queen’s performance in the myriad of actresses that have donned the wicked crown.

In total, the Queen attempted murder on SW four times. Once as a child in the woods with the huntsman, where she is offered mercy by the hunter and flees off into the forest, coming upon the dwarves’ cottage. Years later when the Queen finds out Snow is still alive, she then uses her master of disguise tactics to cosplay not once, but 3 different times as a Gyspy woman, a Geisha, and finally an old woman to fool the princess by offering her poison combs, too-tight lace, and a delightful deadly apple- which obviously is one that finally did her in. I have to say however, it’s such an insult to women everywhere that any woman would be that stupid to fall for these tricks multiple times, but then again, we would have a bit of a boring story had she used her noodle a bit.

Anyways, once the traveling Prince happens upon Snow just hanging out dead in the woods, he whisks her away to a castle in the middle of a blistering snowstorm. The entourage carrying her has a bit of an accident, causing SW to spill out of the carriage in her glass coffin, and the force of the fall urges her to cough up the poisoned bit of the apple, awakening her and allowing the pair to live happily ever after.

Well, almost. Just like in the book, the Evil Queen finds out about this wedding and freaks out when her trusty mirror tells her that the Prince’s bride-to-be, is way more beautiful than she. She throws a temper tantrum, breaking the mirror which turns out to be the true source of her magic, beauty, and youth. She quickly begins to tatter and age but not before she can make it to this castle to look upon this fair maiden before she dies. Low, and behold, it’s of course, Snow White. She turns from the alter to walk away but her face shatters into a million pieces before she can make it out of the vicinity.

As a kid, this was absolutely terrifying. As an adult, that’s karma bitch.

Cannon’s Snow White is not easy to come by these days but Amazon does have the DVD for sale at a decent price. If anything, skip the few cheesy musical numbers that made their way into this movie, but watch it for Diana Rigg and her downright crazy-good performance along with some visually terrifying imagery that you won’t soon forget.

Cool shit to buy

[Review] THREADS: Die Die Book Dives Deep Into This Traumatizing Film

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Once in a generation, a movie comes along that sticks with us for eternity. Some horror fans will throw that one film that absolutely destroyed their nerves as perhaps The Exorcist or Halloween. But I can also tell you a grand majority will also throw this title out there-Threads. The 1984 BBC televised film on nuclear war laid an anxiety bomb in the minds of all those who watched this little piece of PTSD. Author and scholar Bob Mielke in connection with the Die Die Books series gives us one hell of a deep dive into this atomic nightmare that will give fans some new insight into one of the most terrifying films ever made.

Threads is a movie that pulls no punches, reveling in the slow-building sense of dread that arises from its nightmarish—and painfully realistic—depiction of the lead-up, destruction, and years-long aftermath of a nuclear attack on Sheffield, England. Commissioned by the BBC to warn audiences about the dangers of the Cold War, this television film has since been reclaimed and celebrated by horror fans as one of the scariest movies ever made.

This horror essay on Threads by Bob Mielke examines the film through the lens of history, pop culture, and horror, and I recently finished a copy of this monster analysis so here are a few thoughts:

This horror essay on Threads by Bob Mielke examines the film through the lens of history, pop culture, and horror by dissecting the film down to milliseconds of a scene, to obviously the more memorable ones along with just about everything you would want to know that went into making this explosive movie, and the aftermath of its effects on the public. The book also has an in-depth compare and contrast to America’s own nuclear threat picture, The Day After, which offers a deep, thought-provoking memoir gathered through extensive research.

Mielke’s analysis of Threads and thorough explanations of symbolism in the film really put a lot of this movie into even more perspective for me and if I ever feel like having a panic attack again by watching this one more time, I’ll definitely be looking at it through a new set of eyes as the exceptional attention to carefully unpack everything in detail with ease to understand without sounding cinematically snooty, made me think long and hard about this movie and the phenomenon around it.

Per the press release:

Mikita Brottman, the lauded author of numerous books, who is also a Sheffield native, comments: “You cannot win a nuclear war, but as Mielke explains in this genial and engaging guide, you can definitely enjoy watching one. Although Threads paints a grim portrait of post-nuclear-war Sheffield, Mielke’s lively, lucid, and cheerful book makes the doom a little less relentless.”

The central character in Threads is Ruth Beckett, a young woman who is pregnant at the time of the blast and must raise her daughter in the post-apocalyptic hellscape. Karen Meagher, the actor who portrays Ruth, says of Mielke’s book: “We are genetically predisposed to survive. It is a primal necessity. The irony is not lost on me that it is ‘we’ who have laboured, researched, and refined instruments of destruction throughout our existence to essentially obliterate ourselves from existence! I hope the reader will consider every word Mielke has written in this comprehensive and considered, yet easily accessible, book. It took me right back to the visceral experience and time that was Threads.”

Pick up your copy of Threads by Bob Mielke right here and be sure to join Die Die Books mailing list while you’re at to stay up to date on any future releases!