I know what you’re thinking: Jessica Lange is incredibly distracting. ‘Tis true, and an excellent guess, but you would be wrong. The American League Championship Series gets underway tomorrow night, but twenty years ago I was parked in front of the television hoping the Red Sox would oust the Evil Empire in the 2003 ALCS and head to the Fall Classic for the first time since JASON LIVES (1986) hit theatres.

Alas, that wouldn’t transpire until the following October when Boston became the first team in major league history to storm back from a 3-games-to-none deficit to win a playoff series. But Game 7 of the ’03 ALCS was neck-and-neck, and when it slipped into extra innings, I noticed that KING KONG ’76 was on AMC.

The rest, as they say, is part of dumbass history.

It began innocently enough. Between innings I would flip over to catch a minute or two of Rick Baker in a gorilla suit, but as extra frames stretched deeper into the night, I started clicking “last” on the remote between pitches. To be fair, this was before the advent of the pitch clock, so between mound visits and Nomar Garciaparra’s rain delay routine — there was time. Or so I thought.

After Mariano Rivera finished his third inning of work out of the bullpen–setting the Red Sox down in order in the top of the 11th–I flipped over to AMC..

Therein lies the problem: Kong had reached the World Trade Center. How does one not get lost in that scene? It happened to me. And about the time Jeff Bridges put his hands on the glass in wide-eyed terror it came flooding back — “shit, the game!”

The next image on my screen was Aaron Boone rounding second base as the Bronx lost its collective mind. The Yankees’ third baseman had just blasted a knuckleball over the left field wall off of the late Tim Wakefield (it still hurts to say that). The pennant belonged to New York and I had missed one of the greatest moments in baseball history.

While it’s true Florida would take the title from the Bombers (at Yankee Stadium in a delicious twist) and the Red Sox would exorcise their own demons the following fall, it didn’t change the fact that I didn’t see Boone’s bomb with my own yes. And Kong still fell,

And not for nothin’, but ’03 represented Hideki Matsui’s rookie season in the bigs. Why do I mention this? Matsui’s nickname was Godzilla. King of the Monsters.

One will fall, indeed.

The words Dino De Laurentiis shared with the Philadelphia Inquirer promoting KING KONG held true 27 years later–and remain true today: “when monkey die, everybody cry.”