[Video] Retro Wrestling’s 10 Greatest Wrestlemania Moments!

With Wrestlemania 34 looming over our heads like Shawn Michaels making that spectacular overhead entrance in Wrestlemania XII, I obviously wanted to take advantage here and dive into retro wrestling’s greatest Wrestlemania moments from years’ past!

Retro Wrestling's 10 Greatest Wrestlemania Moments!

If you’re a fan, (and hey who wasn’t in the ’80s and 90s), you can probably remember the first time you sat and watched the PayPer View spectacle that was (is), Wrestlemania. Whether you were lucky enough to be alive for the first or the twentieth, it stands as a sort of rite of passage for any wrestling fan to sit and enjoy the most important wrestling event of the year at least once at the time of airing. Bonus if you ever got to see the prestigious event loaded with neon spandex live in person! I myself never got to witness any major PayPer View events, BUT I was there when Earthquake performed animal murder (or at least my 9-year-old-self thought at the time) by cannon-balling his very large ass onto Jake “The Snake” Roberts’ bag that held the beloved Damian. And yes, the answer is I cried like a little bitch.

Anyway, beyond traumatic memories of dead pythons, be it that it is Wrestlemania weekend, I felt now would be a good time to look back on some of the greatest moments from the event throughout our childhood years. These moments shook us to our core, made us feel all the damn things, and have etched their iconic imprints onto the legacy that is, the glorious Wrestlemania. Here’s what I think is, in my humble opinion, of course, the ten greatest moments in retro Wrestlemania history!

10. The Mega-Powers Explode!

Wrestlemania V

Retro Wrestling's 10 Greatest Wrestlemania Moments!

The Madness and the Hulkster had a lot of back-and-forth throughout their wrestling careers. One minute they were bitter enemies, the next absolute butt-buddies. It was just a vicious cycle of fighting, followed by forgiveness and we ate it up every time. However, after the duo formed the ever-so-epic Mega Powers force and then had another falling out over a misunderstanding with Miss Elizabeth, we got the mighty conclusion of the pair’s quarrel that began over a woman and a jealous fit, at Wrestlemania V. This match, in particular, is everything I loved about retro wrestling. Two of the greatest icons, with a totally believable story behind it, raging war at Wrestlemania. Doesn’t get much better than that folks.

9. The Backlot Brawl

Wrestlemania XII

piper vs goldust

This match of all damn rages is not only memorable as it is but kind of hilarious. Listen, no one talks the kind of trash like Mr. Ass-Kicking Bubblegum himself, Roddy Piper. And when the weirdo Goldust (Dustin Rhodes) began sexually taunting the Hot Rod, our boy in plaid wasn’t having any of that shit. Thus bringing the Backlot Brawl to Wrestlemania VII so the pair could settle the score like REAL MEN. I feel like that fight scene in They Live was good practice for this match. However, Piper punched the Dust of Gold so hard, he ended up breaking his hand. And he kept going like nothing happened. Talk about commitment to the match!

8. Lovers Reunited

Wrestlemania VII

Savage and Elizabeth

I certainly am not taking anything away from the pretty awesome career-ending match between Randy Savage and The Ultimate Warrior at the seventh installment of Wrestlemania. However, no one can deny this was the most memorable moment resulting from it. Elizabeth and Randy have been like peas and carrots throughout (almost) Savage’s career in the WWF to date here. So to watch the demise of Scary Sherri and the rise once again of what seemed to be, a stronger Elizabeth fall into the arms of the madness once more, was quite touching indeed.

7. Icon VS Icon

Wrestlemania XVIII

rock-vs-hogan

Before Dwayne Johnson was fighting off the jungle in Jumanji, The Rock was the sport’s biggest star and athlete during the Attitude Era at the WWE. So when we got to witness one generation’s wrestling icon square off against another, it was pretty much the coolest thing ever, (if you smell what the Patti is cookin’ over here). I know. Terrible joke. But I felt this was a proper way to pass the torch, so to speak, from Hogan to The Rock ushering in a new icon as the face of the industry. And it was pretty cool of Hogan to do that for him.

6. The Rattlesnake Takes On The Bull

Wrestlemania XVII

ausin-rock-chair

One year prior to The Rock taking on the Hulkster at Wrestlemania, he faced one of his toughest challenges to date with “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. These two phenoms WERE the top contenders during the attitude era, and have etched a legacy inside the ring worthy of standing alongside the greats before them. For the pair of fan favorites that ushered in a slew of unforgettable one-liners and ass-kicking finishing moves to finally face-off at the Superbowl events of wrestling, was truly a moment not to be forgotten anytime soon.. or ever for that matter.

5. The Ladder Oozes Machismo

Wrestlemania X

razor-ramon-shawn-michaels

Never before had we seen a goddamn Ladder Match! And not since then, has one matched up to the power and glory as displayed between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon during the tenth Wrestlemania. Both athletes are some of the most exceptional executioners in the business, and the tense back and forth for the Intercontinental championship is definitely one of the best of all time.

4. Nothing But Hart and Gorey Glory

Wrestlemania XIII

bretaustin

Single-handedly, the role-reversal moment in history happened at Wrestlemania 13 during the match between Austin and the “Excellence of Execution” himself, “The Hitman” Bret Hart. And I don’t even think it was something that was meant to happen! Which it made it that much better. The intestinal fortitude of Austin’s character during the match gained a lot of favor with the crowd, which in turn, kind of pissed off Hart. Marking the beginning of Bret Hart’s lack of faith in the industry and heel turn, which he talks in depth about in his documentary Wrestling With Shadows.

3. The Ultimate Challenge

Wrestlemania VI

Wrestlemania-6-hulk-hogan-ultimate-warrior_2069676

Much like earlier in this article with The Rock, Hogan set the stage to make another athlete an iconic superstar at Wrestlemania 6. While The Warrior’s (rest his soul) career didn’t have the longevity as Dwayne Johnson’s has, he’s no less recognizable as The Warrior has his own spot in infamous WWE history. In any regard, say what you want about the Hulkster, but he’s always been a team player when it comes to his fellow competitors. As with this explosive match in 1989, Hogan accepted defeat with dignity, and a new champion was born in the ring.

2. The Savage Steamboat Ride of Awesomeness

Wrestlemania III

savage and steamboat

Many consider the brawl between Macho Man and The Dragon at Wrestlemania III, to be one of the greatest of all time. And goddamn if I don’t agree with said people. Here we have two highly technical athletes who make this match look like a fuckin’ ballet of the ring. Everything about it is perfect and should be studied by any person looking to make a career in the sport. Or hell, just for the fun of it because it’s just that good. The brawl wasn’t even the main event, but it certainly stole the show. Mostly due to Savage’s role in the process of tediously planning every single move in the match, as Ricky Steamboat told Wrestling Observer Radio.

“It got to the point to where I would turn page after page after page in my notebook and then at about the fourth page, I’d say, ‘Okay this is step 112. I’m going to do this, this, and this. Tell me the rest of the match.’ And he would go through and tell me the rest of the match. And then he would get his book out and he would flip through same pages and he would go ‘Okay I’m on step number 86, and I’m going to be doing this, this, and this, tell me the rest of the match.”

1. The Giant Slam Heard Around The World

Wrestlemania III

hogan and andre

The only thing that can top the Steamboat/Savage interlocking dance of athletic ability, is this moment right here. The moment that forever etched Hogan as the true immortal and a man of real power and strength. It was heavily rumored at the time Hogan would try and slam the mighty Andre, but no one actually believed he could bodyslam the seven-foot-plus, 500-pound legend in the ring. That being said, the top two spots here confirm what I’ve always believed: that Wrestlemania III just might be, the greatest WWE ticket to date. It truly was a magical time for the sport, and when Andre humbly ended his undefeated 15-year streak at the company to the Hulkster, it made us really want to take those vitamins and say our prayers to no end.

What’s your favorite Wrestlemania moment?! Let’s discuss and Happy Wrestlemania Weekend!

[Review] THREADS: Die Die Book Dives Deep Into This Traumatizing Film

Once in a generation, a movie comes along that sticks with us for eternity. Some horror fans will throw that one film that absolutely destroyed their nerves as perhaps The Exorcist or Halloween. But I can also tell you a grand majority will also throw this title out there-Threads. The 1984 BBC televised film on nuclear war laid an anxiety bomb in the minds of all those who watched this little piece of PTSD. Author and scholar Bob Mielke in connection with the Die Die Books series gives us one hell of a deep dive into this atomic nightmare that will give fans some new insight into one of the most terrifying films ever made.

Threads is a movie that pulls no punches, reveling in the slow-building sense of dread that arises from its nightmarish—and painfully realistic—depiction of the lead-up, destruction, and years-long aftermath of a nuclear attack on Sheffield, England. Commissioned by the BBC to warn audiences about the dangers of the Cold War, this television film has since been reclaimed and celebrated by horror fans as one of the scariest movies ever made.

This horror essay on Threads by Bob Mielke examines the film through the lens of history, pop culture, and horror, and I recently finished a copy of this monster analysis so here are a few thoughts:

This horror essay on Threads by Bob Mielke examines the film through the lens of history, pop culture, and horror by dissecting the film down to milliseconds of a scene, to obviously the more memorable ones along with just about everything you would want to know that went into making this explosive movie, and the aftermath of its effects on the public. The book also has an in-depth compare and contrast to America’s own nuclear threat picture, The Day After, which offers a deep, thought-provoking memoir gathered through extensive research.

Mielke’s analysis of Threads and thorough explanations of symbolism in the film really put a lot of this movie into even more perspective for me and if I ever feel like having a panic attack again by watching this one more time, I’ll definitely be looking at it through a new set of eyes as the exceptional attention to carefully unpack everything in detail with ease to understand without sounding cinematically snooty, made me think long and hard about this movie and the phenomenon around it.

Per the press release:

Mikita Brottman, the lauded author of numerous books, who is also a Sheffield native, comments: “You cannot win a nuclear war, but as Mielke explains in this genial and engaging guide, you can definitely enjoy watching one. Although Threads paints a grim portrait of post-nuclear-war Sheffield, Mielke’s lively, lucid, and cheerful book makes the doom a little less relentless.”

The central character in Threads is Ruth Beckett, a young woman who is pregnant at the time of the blast and must raise her daughter in the post-apocalyptic hellscape. Karen Meagher, the actor who portrays Ruth, says of Mielke’s book: “We are genetically predisposed to survive. It is a primal necessity. The irony is not lost on me that it is ‘we’ who have laboured, researched, and refined instruments of destruction throughout our existence to essentially obliterate ourselves from existence! I hope the reader will consider every word Mielke has written in this comprehensive and considered, yet easily accessible, book. It took me right back to the visceral experience and time that was Threads.”

Pick up your copy of Threads by Bob Mielke right here and be sure to join Die Die Books mailing list while you’re at to stay up to date on any future releases!

SOMETIMES EVEN HORROR FANS WANT A HAPPY ENDING

Before laying eyes on a single frame of THE SHAPE OF WATER (2017), I read about Guillermo del Toro watching Gill Man (the recently departed Ricou Browning) swimming beneath Julie Adams in THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954) as a child and the thought he could never shake– “I hope they end up together.” No rhyme or reason, just his immediate and involuntary reaction to what was happening on the screen. And as we all know, GDT’s long-held sentiment resonated with audiences as well, evolving into an Oscar for Best Picture.

All of that to say that I recently experienced a similar moment. The difference being that it was nearly 33 years after the fact and the only association I’ll have with an Academy Award is openly questioning why Toni Collette didn’t receive one for HEREDITARY (2018), but that’s another story.

No, after returning home from an exhausting week of work, we decided to have a bit of an anthology party. Things kicked off with TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE (1983) because Scatman Crothers and John Lithgow always hit the spot, with another terrifying television turned silver screen selection as chaser that had somehow eluded me all these years — TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE (1990).

How I’d missed it all these years I don’t know, because my family used to watch the show on (if I recall correctly) Sunday nights back in the day. Regardless, Debbie Harry and the kid who preferred noogies from PLANES, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES (1987) guided us to “Lover’s Vow” and I was immediately transfixed.

Without fail, James Remar understands the assignment and no matter how much praise she receives, Rae Dawn Chong will always be underrated to me. In other words, we were off to a good start.

The not-so-brief gist of the segment: an artist (Remar) struggling for inspiration meets his agent at a bar to buy time and get his hands on some cash but said agent (Robert Klein) dumps him saying he can’t live off of “ten percent of nothing.” Distraught, Remar gets hammered alongside a couple of buddies, but when they stumble into the alley to call it a night, one of those buddies is eviscerated by a gargoyle come to life that had been perched above said alley moments before. A stunned Remar gets slammed against a brick wall but spared so long as he can promise to never tell anyone about what he just saw. Of course, he agrees but on the way home, Rae Dawn Chong cascades around a corner. Freaked out about the prospect of the beast returning, Remar grabs her and ducks into a darkened doorway saying someone’s out there, and it isn’t safe. Remar assured Chong he wasn’t going to hurt her, and she says she thought she heard someone too and follows Remar to his place to be safe. SPOILER ALERT (but it’s clear as you watch it): Chong has nothing to worry about because she is the gargoyle in human form testing Remar to see if he’ll keep his promise.

Long story short? (Too late, I know) They actually fall in love, Chong puts Remar in touch with one of the most influential art dealers in the city, reveals that she’s pregnant, and ten years on they have two little ones.

Shorts either split the uprights or sail wide right, there is no in-between, but “Lover’s Vow” is the stuff of Morten Andersen. In a matter of minutes, we see a couple who are not only hot for one another, but have fun together, challenge one another to be the best version of themselves, and protect each other from the fuckery of the world. We believe that Remar is no longer bereft of inspiration and content with his work, that Chong has finally found peace and that life was all bananas and toothbrushes.

Until the night Remar felt compelled to express how much their life together meant to him. He couldn’t find the word to thank Chong for ten years of perfection and reached the conclusion that the only way to truly thank her was to tell her the truth about the night they met.

Remar grabbed a sketch of the gargoyle he’d done after the night that changed everything. When he began with “no one has ever seen this” and I tell you that I literally said “no. No, no, no. Shhh. Stop. You have it all. STOP TALKING!” out loud to the television — know that it’s not an exaggeration.

While I know it was a noble thing for Remar’s character to do–borne out of love and respect–the part of me that needed a happy ending after a shit week at the office and rejoiced in this no-longer-starving artist living the dream (married to Rae Dawn Chong, are you kidding me?!) was desperate for that mistake to not be made.

Alas, the chastising began. “You idiot! You promised!” Chong returned to her natural form as Remar declared his love for her. She responded, “I loved you too, but it’s too late now” and did what needed to be done. A decade on, one of them kept their word.

The segment ended with Chong back upon her perch, their children clutched tightly against her, overlooking the alley where it all began. A constant reminder of happiness discovered and destroyed.

If you’re reading this, I don’t need to explain that horror fans are a different breed, we invite unhappy endings. But every so often the mood is right, a water god feels a connection, or a gargoyle comes to life, and some part of us wants the universe to take the night off and let them dance.