Category Archives: Wrestling Memories

The Insane 1985 WWF Halloween Party And Land Of 1000 Dances!

Image October 7, 2023 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

Sweet Goddess I love retro wrestling. In the 80s’, Saturday Night’s Main Event was THEE late-night television special to watch on the weekend. In 1985, the then called WWF (WWE) blew up all over mainstream and Hulkamania was indeed running wild all over our faces. From Saturday morning cartoons, live events, and the first ever Wrestlemania, there was no stopping the WWF train. When they threw in Saturday Night’s Main Event as a deal with SNL’s producers as a replacement for the NBC show reruns, ratings skyrocketed and it became a more regular airing for the network. While the shows were inconstant with an airing schedule in their premiere year, there was ONE particular episode that sated on my mind for years to come- and that was of course, the WWF HALLOWEEN PARTY that featured the infamous LAND OF 1000 DANCES!

The third ever Saturday Night’s Main Event was taped on October 31st, 1985 and aired on November 2nd with an insane Halloween party interjecting in-between matches; one being a Kung-Fu match between Ricky Steamboat and Mr. Fuji that is as entertaining as that sounds. The Halloween party hosed by a pumpkin donning Mean Gene turned into a competition of course between the faces and heels with the “good guys” being captained by Lou Albano (dressed as Julius Caesar) and his teammates Tito Santana (as Zorro), Hulk Hogan (as Hercules), Hillbilly Jim, Uncle Elmer, and Cousin Junior (as the Three Musketeers. Heenan (dressed as Davey Crockett but constantly mistaken for a weasel heh) was joined by Randy Savage with Miss Elizabeth (as Tarzan and Jane), The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff (as Batman and Robin), and King Kong Bundy (as Abraham Lincoln). The “games” consisted of bobbing for pumpkins, a pumpkin toss, and a hilarious pie-eating contest (seen below) that ends up in a food fight because why wouldn’t it!? The weasel, I mean, Davey Crockett Heenan easily beats Junior in the pumpkin bobbing (with that mouth is anyone surprised?) and Albano gluttonously defeats Bundy in the pie-eating segment- leaving the score 1-1 and all the Halloween Heavyweight Champion of games to be settled in the “pumpkin toss”.

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I don’t know why the hell it’s called a pumpkin toss when the game consists of having teams of wrestlers pass a pumpkin underneath their chin. You know that game you do at middle school parties in a weird attempt to get close to the opposite sex? Well instead of that, you get a bunch of giant wrestlers in costumes trying to do it. It’s every bit as awkward as it sounds and I love every second of it. Anyway, the game ends when Elizabeth fumbles the gourd and Randy Savage scolds her in such a way you’d thought the woman killed Jesus or something.

While the Halloween party is ensuing in hilarity, we get to visit Roddy Piper in his “rented American home” and see how the rowdy one spends the spooky holiday with Vince McMahon there to interview and give us play by play deets. Like out of a Halloween urban legend joke, Piper wraps up bricks to make them look like giant chocolates, and bowling balls disguised as giant candy apples because hey, according to him the Scottish like to celebrate “the trick” in Trick or Treat. Trick or Treaters arrive, one dressed as the Hulkster so of course this pisses Roddy off. In typical Hot Rod behavior, Piper demeans them and tricks them into giving him their candy in exchange for his asinine-sized fake candy. It’s a total prick moment that showcases why we love to hate the guy and then karma rears it’s ugly head when the kids’ actually slipped him hot peppers disguised as candy. PRICELESS.

Finally, we end with The Land of 100 Dances that was a promotion tie-in for the Rock ‘N” Wrestling connection with MTV. With Meatloaf on the drums and Cyndi Lauper singing back-up, this superstar-filled wrestling WTF has become legendary and no better way to introduce this now nostalgic nugget of WWE history than during their Halloween special?! The thing that kills me is Mr. Wonderful kissing his fuckin’ biceps for the entire duration of the music video along with Piper sticking a Goonies movie promotion in there; as I’m sure you recall, the WWF and Cyndi Lauper did a massive promo for that film with the “Good Enough” video. Also another reason why Roddy is the goddamn GOAT. Fuck I miss that guy.

Anyways, here’s visual proof that this wasn’t some sort of fever dream we all had 36 years ago and a friendly reminder that “Hogan’s such a YOYO.”

Wrestling Memories

Good God Almighty! Mankind and Undertaker Rewatch Their Iconic Hell In a Cell Match 25 Years Later

Image July 3, 2023 Patti PaulterGeist 1 Comment

The moment you mention both The Undertaker and Mankind simultaneously, without even finishing the sentence, minds have already traveled back to June 28, 1998.

On this infamous day in wrestling history, most of us were plopped right in front of our television sets, awaiting the event of the goddamn Summer-The King of the Ring. Maybe not necessarily the actual slew of matches themselves, at least not for me anyway, but ONE match in particular; and that was the long-standing feud of The Undertaker and Mankind (Mick Foley) in what was dubbed, the Hell in a Cell Match.

It was a night that anyone and their mama that was watching would NEVER forget, and would immediately set the standard for future Hell in a Cell matches until basically the end of time.

After an almost two-year rivalry, the score was to finally be settled in the way of a 16-foot-high steel cage with a roof attached. Right from the word go, there was drama in this Hell in a Cell match as Mankind entered first and immediately grabbed a steel chair as he made his way up towards the top of the cage and onto the roof, awaiting the Undertaker as he would arrive second. Unbeknownst to the audience, Mark Calaway (Undertaker) went into the match with a fractured ankle and considering what was about to transpire, these two men would go down in history as the biggest pair of beasts with gargantuan balls that ever set foot in a WWE ring.

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! HE KILLED HIM!

The match had barely gotten underway and Undertaker just YEETS Mankind off the top of the steel cage like a rag doll right into an announcer’s table freaking out Jim Ross and pretty much anyone watching as Ross let off a slew of now very quotable sentences expressing his shock and awe. The rest of just screamed a shitload of profanities as we really thought this guy wasn’t getting back up, and we just witnessed a horrible accident.

“When I tossed him off of the cage, it was like time stopped. People say they have out-of-body experiences and things like that. Standing on the cage and watching him fly, I could actually see him and myself standing up there. I didn’t think Mick Foley would get up from that.” -Mark Calaway

Medical personnel came out to check on Foley, as did Funk and various others including McMahon who broke kayfabe by looking legitimately worried about someone his Mr. McMahon character was supposed to dislike. Mankind was placed on a stretcher and began to be wheeled out of the arena however, Mankind got his crazy ass up from the stretcher and fought off the officials, so he climb again onto the top of the cell to resume the match.

And that’s when all Hell broke loose, and we all collectively lost our ever-loving minds. Then, this crazy SOB takes a Chokeslam through the top of the cell. It’s a miracle that Mankind managed to finish off this brutal encounter after taking two dangerous falls. Undertaker prevailed with the Tombstone Piledriver, but this Hell in a Cell match has not been topped in terms of brutality or has ever been erased from the minds of wrestling fans over the past 25 years.

And apparently, neither has Mark Calaway nor Mick Foley. To celebrate the 25th anniversary of, undoubtedly, the greatest Hell in a Cell Match of all time, the pair of legends recently took to YouTube on the WWE channel and rewatch their infamous match while giving their commentary. A true gift for both the Attitude Era and the average wrestling fans alike.

Enjoy and remember kids, whenever you find yourself around some asswad telling you wrestling is fake, be sure to point them to this match!

Wrestling Memories

Honor the “Rowdy One” on His Birthday With the Best of Piper’s Pit

Image April 17, 2023 Patti PaulterGeist 2 Comments

It’s time to celebrate the legend who smugly proclaimed he was the man who “made Hulk Hogan lose all his hair.”

The WWE Attitude era existed long before it’s rebranding launch in 1997 thanks to a Canadian with a prideful Scottish heritage,”Rowdy” Roddy Piper. As you know as well as I, Hot Rod imprinted his legacy in the sport with not just his wrestling skills, but also with a mouth that slams Jimmy Hart’s famous shit-talking jaws into the turnbuckle corner of shame.

And with those quick-witted puns and illustrious smack-talk, arose one of the greatest segments from the glory days of the WWF- Piper’s Pit. Those Royal Stewart Plaid thin walls that surrounded a shrine dedicated to an (at the time heel) feisty Piper and a single chair, two if Roddy was feeling generous for his guest, became a highlighted segment for the WWE/WWF program through its 1984-1987 run; (with occasional appearances until his death in 2015). Realistically speaking, any one person who makes it their duty to destroy another’s ego while humiliating the ever-loving shit out of them, would be seen as well, a complete douchebag. But, this was Roddy Piper. And somehow, we loved him for it. Even at the height of his heel days in the WWF, Piper with his hilarious insults hurled at both competitors and comrades alike, had us hanging onto his every word. So, of course, we all watched with anticipation once the spotlight centered on the arched entranceway of the Pit of the Piper as we desperately waited to see what pot of fuckery he was going to stew up for the evening’s shenanigans. It was quite a special thing that with much sorrow, we will never see once again.

The king of witty sarcasm and trash-talk in and out of the ring would have celebrated his 69th birthday this 17th day of April. So let’s break out the bagpipes and shove a banana down someone’s throat in honor of the legend as we look back at in no particular order, the very best of Piper’s Pit.

Frank Williams (04-14-1984)

Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions!

What a sport that Frankie is, eh? Throughout WWE programming, we would see superstars pit against basically unknown or “jobber” wrestlers as filler matches. Frankie Williams was one of those guys, and Piper made a memorable example out of the poor schmuck. Piper jabbers on about how worthless Williams is in the sport and then just kicks the shit out of the guy. While we mostly never remember these jobber wrestlers whose purpose is just that- to lose to the popular roster, we’ll always remember Frankie the Jobber for his stint on Piper’s Pit, as this was the first brawl in the segment. From there on in, all bets were off when you entered Roddy’s house and you better be prepared for a fight to break loose.

Andre the Giant (03-17-1984)

You do not throw rocks at a man who has got a machine gun!

Only Roddy would have the kind of balls to tell Andre what a teenie-weeny brain he has. Even in the face of a legendary giant who basically manhandles him like a ragdoll towards the end of the segment, Piper salvages his man-pride with another memorable one-liner making this entry too hilarious to ever forget.

Brother Love and Morton Downey Jr. (04-02-1989)

Was there ever a time when Brother Love didn’t look like a mullet-loving lobster in heat?

Piper had been long gone from the arena to focus on his acting career however, he made a glorious return to center stage for Wrestlemania V and another stint for Piper’s Pit. He also spread the word around to anyone else slightly even entertaining the idea that anyone other than the Rowdy One could host Piper’s Pit. After embarrassing Brother Love and forcing him to retreat back to the locker rooms, Piper set his sights on chain-smoking celebrity Morton Downey Jr. Who just couldn’t manage to play nice, and further antagonize Piper with his cigarette smoke. Common knowledge: If you purposely try and fuck with Roddy, you’re gonna have a bad time, mmk?

Hulk Hogan, Andre, and Bobby Heenan (02-07-1987)

Man did Piper know how to sell a story or what?!

The use of Piper’s Pit set the stage for one of the greatest matches and torch passes in Wrestlemania history between the Immortal One and The Giant. Andre debuted his shocking heel turn and alliance with Bobby “The Brain” Heenan during the confrontation with Hogan on Piper’s Pit. This, in turn, leads to Hogan begging and pleading with his old friend as to why on Earth he would sink so low as to garner the services of a “weasel”. Andre’s response? Ripping the shirt and chain crucifix clean off Hogan’s backside adds injury to insult. Piper may have let his guests do most of the talking in this edition, but I gotta give credit to the guy for planting the seeds of one of the most memorable matches in Wrestling history. So, for historical purposes, this had to be included.

Cyndi Lauper and Captain Lou Albano (06-16-1984)

Time after time, this remains a goddamn classic.

The infamous Rock ‘N’ Wrestling Connection all began with the introduction of pop sensation Cyndi Lauper and thus was born a glorious matrimony of wrestling and music. Lauper appeared on Piper’s Pit quite a few times throughout her stint at the WWF, but this segment in particular where she gets super pissed at her buddy Lou and attacks Piper after stirring up some drama remains an essential part of the Roddy-Lauper feud.

“Stone Cold” Steve Austin (04-03-05)

For the first time since Wrestlemania V, Piper’s Pit was back to kick some rattlesnake ass with special guest Steve Austin. The two biggest shit-talkers in WWE history were about to come face to face with what basically seemed like, a dick-measuring contest. They slap each other a little and exchange a few insults until they’re rudely interrupted and we get a full dose of a proper Piper’s Pit. Also, gotta love how Roddy questions the crowd like they’re dingbats with that stupid chant. Almost 20 years after the first Pit segment, some things still haven’t changed.

Mr. T (03-17-1985)

The first Wrestlemania should have just been billed, “Starring Roddy Piper and supporting cast Hogan and Mr. T.”

The thing that made this Pit so great, was that Piper and T genuinely HATED each other. The real-life heat and mutual disdain the pair had for one another made for a great pre-game to the road to the very first Wrestlemania event. The little jabs Piper takes at the A-Team star with his remarks about ex-lax, the Mohawk wig, and Piper showing off his artistic skills make for one of the most memorable, and hilarious entries in the Pit roster.

Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka (06-26-1984)

One coconut… Two coconuts… Four coconuts… and history made.

Listen, we all knew this was an obvious choice to be made here, and considering the now-known Snuka’s very disturbing past, I’m glad Piper cracked his dome with them coconuts and rammed bananas down his throat. Roddy just demoralizes the shit out of the then-popular superstar in such a way that has never been matched in all the years of the segment. Years later, Piper told the Wrestling Hut that he smacked him so hard with the tree fruit that Snuka’s eyes legit rolled back and he had thought he killed the guy. The coconut incident has become Wrestling lore at its finest, still fondly remembered and spoken of ‘to this day. That just doesn’t make them like this anymore.

And try your damnedest future athletes, but there will never be a legend like Roddy Piper in the squared circle again. Happy Birthday, Roddy wherever you are but if I were to guess, you’re probably slapping around the Warrior and Heenan in the afterlife.