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Wrestling Memories

The Thanksgiving Gift We All Needed: 35 Years ago, The Undertaker debuted at the 1990 Survivor Series

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November 22nd: A day that lives in infamy for two reasons. The assassination of President John Kennedy in 1963, and the birth of a WWF legend at the annual Thanksgiving wrestling tradition at the 1990 Survivor Series. Yes, I still refer to WWE as WWF by default because I’m a rebel, Dottie.

I’ll never forget that fateful Thanksgiving when our stereotypical giant Italian family got together for our fat-fuck annual holiday feast. Italian cold cuts platters, Italian Christmas Soup, the big turkey feast, and of course, the mother fuckin’ PPV holiday event of the year: The WWF Survivor Series!

Real talk- To this very day, no WWE event intros can hold a candle to the ones of the ’80s’ and early ’90s. If their sole purpose was to rile you up and make you want to suplex your little brother into the mashed potatoes, well then goddammit, they did their job!

Anyway, after the twelfth course of dinner, we all gathered around my grandparents’ oversized Magnavox floor television to witness wrestling mullet glory in all its splendor; with my eight-year-old ass popped squat right in front of this beast. Everyone was pretty excited for the entire program, with levels of exhilaration varying between us over what match we were most looking forward to. However, collectively we WERE VERY ANXIOUS for two things in particular with this Survivor Series: what the hell was in this giant egg that the WWF heavily hyped up in the weeks leading up to the program, and who, exactly, was this mystery Million Dollar teammate that “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase kept boasting about leading up to the feud group match with Dusty Rhodes and his American Dream Team?

Well, like I said. I’ll NEVER forget the intro made by DiBiase himself once the match was ready to get underway.

“I would like to introduce to you now my mystery partner. Led to the ring, by his manager, Brother Love, weighing in at 320 pounds, from Death Valley, I GIVE YOU, THE UNDERTAKER!” Followed by his signature maniacal laughter, (one that I always got a kick out of). And what came out of those tall, dark curtains leading to the arena was nothing short of a spiritual experience for everyone watching. I WAS IN AWE.

CHECK OUT THOSE DRUMSTICKS, BABY!

Roddy Piper took the words right out of our mouths: “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HAM HOCK!!”

The debut of one of the most celebrated wrestlers in history, a man who’d go on to win seven WWF (now WWE) Heavyweight Championships, as well as 25 WrestleMania matches, is truly a golden moment in wrestling history. From his entrance alone, we initially expected a slow-moving superstar that relied on gimmick and strength, but holy FUCK we were so damn wrong.

The very first opponent to get a taste of the PHENOM, as announcers dubbed him later on, was appropriately the legendary Bret “The Hitman” Hart. However, Hart’s teammates Rhodes, Neidhart, and Koko B. Ware all got a graveyard-style ass-whoopin’ at the gloved paws of the Deadman- with Koko being on the receiving end of the very first Tombstone Pile Driver. Now again, with a man as large as Mark Calaway (The Undertaker) you can imagine our surprise when this dead-eyed wrestler started moving around the ring like a beautiful ballet with wrestling moves. His agility paired with intimidation tactics was quite remarkable and unlike anything I had personally seen in my short-lived life up until then. And I can personally say with confidence it hasn’t been matched since.

I’m just glad THIS was his epic debut and not that of the goddamn Gobbeldy Gooker where The Undertaker himself was scared to death thinking that HIS WWF arrival was going to be not as the iconic dead man, but this awful gimmick instead as he described in Steve Austin: The Broken Skull Sessions:

“So about the time I got my phone call, they were doing this promotion where, on the show — back then they’d do three or four weeks in a row — they had this gigantic egg on the set.  So this egg appears on the show, right? And all of a sudden my mind just starts going like, ‘Aw, man, they’re going to bring me in — now this is how outlandish the gimmicks were back then too — I’m going to be ‘Egg Man.’ I had convinced myself, to the point where my stomach hurt, that I’m going to be ‘Egg Man.’”

This Thanksgiving marks over 30 years since The ‘Taker stole the show in the WWE and watching his Boneyard Match with AJ Styles this past April, just proves my point all the more. The man is truly a goddamn treasure in the industry and he made a fan for life with me on that very first night in 1990.

And yep-this is my little tribute to the Phenom, OG and traditional style on my right-back shoulder done by husband and soulmate Bradley Pauley at our shop, Last Chance Tattoo. Funny enough, a few years back this picture made it to a tattoo list in Wrestlezone, and I just stumbled upon it accidentally. Oh, the internet is full of surprises.

Also, worth noting, is our seven degrees of separation with The Undertaker that actually includes our shop. Our dear, departed friend MoJo Thomas, who sadly passed away in 2020, was taught by Doc Dog and Smilin’ Paul of Las Vegas Tattoo Company-who initially was the artist of a few of Calaway’s tattoos! So yes, he was around while the Undertaker was getting drilled on his skin back in the early ’90s’ and I am so envious of this. Also, it’s a great story that intertwines a friend I miss dearly and one of my childhood heroes, and it had to be said.

Anyway, the debut of this magnificent specimen of a superstar definitely ranks up there as one of my favorite childhood pop-culture memories. So let’s relive it together with the magic of YouTube! Cheers to 30 years of non-stop beautiful, bone-breaking entertainment brought to you by the American Badass!

Owned by WWE
Wrestling Memories

Oooh Yesss! That Time WWF Superstars Invaded the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (1994)

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Ahh, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. The annual American tradition of oversized balloons haunting the streets of New York City while a bunch of Broadway singers and dancers praise a giant floating Garfield like some helium-infused god. And us as well, I suppose, as the parade is nearing its 100th year of being in action. America has long held this event as the official ushering of the Christmas holiday season while stuffing themselves into a food coma. While mom or Grandma is in the kitchen sweating over a twenty-pound bird, the kiddies watch their favorite pop culture icons wave at a crowd and the TV on elaborate floats. You know, like the Sesame Street gang, Ninja Turtles, Paul Bearer with his urn of death…

FUCK YEAH.

Honestly, who would have ever thought that the WWF Superstars would ever make an appearance at an event like this, is sort of beyond my own logical train of thinking. But I’m sure as shit was happy to see it when it happened. Although it wasn’t an official WWF float, but a float for the New York Daily News named The Big Apple, which would explain all the randomness happening all over that thing. Including a Hockey-Mask wearing Jason who was actually a columnist for the paper; or THE SLAMMER as he called himself, and was only known under that pseudonym.

The British Bulldog, Razor Ramon, Lex Luger, Doink, Dink, Paul Bearer, and the Undertaker appeared as special guest stars and they all look they’re having one hell of a time- well, minus the Undertaker who stayed in Kayfabe because god-forbid we see the dead man crack a grin!

I mean, shit, they look they’re having such a good time that I’m willing to bet that urn was filled with vodka. Knowing the stories behind the mat these days, it’s probably not that far off. Which is pretty hilarious. Kind of like little Dink there being almost completely out of sight because of some giant baseball bat and the star emblems of his fellow athletes.

That Time WWF Superstars Invaded the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (1994)

The wrestling era of 1994 was a pretty dim one looking back as the once premier agent for wrestling who had body slammed all of its territory competitors, was fighting for their lives against WCW, who was quickly becoming the bigger and badder boys of nationwide wrestling. And let’s face it, the WWF was still stuck in its Superhero era at the time with really shitty gimmicks for their “superstars” like The Dentist, Repo Man, and here’s a deep cut, Duke “The Dumpster” Droese. They were pretty piss poor characters and honestly very few wrestlers were keeping the company afloat and people watching like, The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, and Razor Ramon of course. So, it’s not crazy I guess that Vince McMahon would throw his athletes into a Macy’s Parade for a little extra exposure to kids and parents since that was the primary target audience at the time.

Either way, it’s a refreshing break from Big Bird and Barney spotlights. Speaking of, right behind our wrestlers, is a behemoth of that annoying purple dinosaur ready to devour little Dink at any second.

For your nostalgic enjoyment, here’s an upload of the entire 1994 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! But if you want to just skip to Razor Ramon oozing machismo all over 34th street, the timestamp starts at 1:40:00 in.

Wrestling Memories

The Insane 1985 WWF Halloween Party And Land Of 1000 Dances!

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Sweet Goddess I love retro wrestling. In the 80s’, Saturday Night’s Main Event was THEE late-night television special to watch on the weekend. In 1985, the then called WWF (WWE) blew up all over mainstream and Hulkamania was indeed running wild all over our faces. From Saturday morning cartoons, live events, and the first ever Wrestlemania, there was no stopping the WWF train. When they threw in Saturday Night’s Main Event as a deal with SNL’s producers as a replacement for the NBC show reruns, ratings skyrocketed and it became a more regular airing for the network. While the shows were inconstant with an airing schedule in their premiere year, there was ONE particular episode that sated on my mind for years to come- and that was of course, the WWF HALLOWEEN PARTY that featured the infamous LAND OF 1000 DANCES!

The third ever Saturday Night’s Main Event was taped on October 31st, 1985 and aired on November 2nd with an insane Halloween party interjecting in-between matches; one being a Kung-Fu match between Ricky Steamboat and Mr. Fuji that is as entertaining as that sounds.  The Halloween party hosed by a pumpkin donning Mean Gene turned into a competition of course between the faces and heels with the “good guys” being captained by Lou Albano (dressed as Julius Caesar) and his teammates Tito Santana (as Zorro), Hulk Hogan (as Hercules), Hillbilly Jim, Uncle Elmer, and Cousin Junior (as the Three Musketeers. Heenan (dressed as Davey Crockett but constantly mistaken for a weasel heh) was joined by Randy Savage with Miss Elizabeth (as Tarzan and Jane), The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff (as Batman and Robin), and King Kong Bundy (as Abraham Lincoln). The “games” consisted of bobbing for pumpkins, a pumpkin toss, and a hilarious pie-eating contest (seen below) that ends up in a food fight because why wouldn’t it!? The weasel, I mean, Davey Crockett Heenan easily beats Junior in the pumpkin bobbing (with that mouth is anyone surprised?) and Albano gluttonously defeats Bundy in the pie-eating segment- leaving the score 1-1 and all the Halloween Heavyweight Champion of games to be settled in the “pumpkin toss”.

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I don’t know why the hell it’s called a pumpkin toss when the game consists of having teams of wrestlers pass a pumpkin underneath their chin. You know that game you do at middle school parties in a weird attempt to get close to the opposite sex? Well instead of that, you get a bunch of giant wrestlers in costumes trying to do it. It’s every bit as awkward as it sounds and I love every second of it. Anyway, the game ends when Elizabeth fumbles the gourd and Randy Savage scolds her in such a way you’d thought the woman killed Jesus or something.

While the Halloween party is ensuing in hilarity, we get to visit Roddy Piper in his “rented American home” and see how the rowdy one spends the spooky holiday with Vince McMahon there to interview and give us play by play deets. Like out of a Halloween urban legend joke, Piper wraps up bricks to make them look like giant chocolates, and bowling balls disguised as giant candy apples because hey, according to him the Scottish like to celebrate “the trick” in Trick or Treat. Trick or Treaters arrive, one dressed as the Hulkster so of course this pisses Roddy off. In typical Hot Rod behavior, Piper demeans them and tricks them into giving him their candy in exchange for his asinine-sized fake candy. It’s a total prick moment that showcases why we love to hate the guy and then karma rears it’s ugly head when the kids’ actually slipped him hot peppers disguised as candy. PRICELESS.

Finally, we end with The Land of 100 Dances that was a promotion tie-in for the Rock ‘N” Wrestling connection with MTV. With Meatloaf on the drums and Cyndi Lauper singing back-up, this superstar-filled wrestling WTF has become legendary and no better way to introduce this now nostalgic nugget of WWE history than during their Halloween special?! The thing that kills me is Mr. Wonderful kissing his fuckin’ biceps for the entire duration of the music video along with Piper sticking a Goonies movie promotion in there; as I’m sure you recall, the WWF and Cyndi Lauper did a massive promo for that film with the “Good Enough” video. Also another reason why Roddy is the goddamn GOAT. Fuck I miss that guy.

Anyways, here’s visual proof that this wasn’t some sort of fever dream we all had 36 years ago and a friendly reminder that “Hogan’s such a YOYO.”