Alright my nostalgic nuggets, you’ve forced my hand here. Ok, not really I actually get a real sick pleasure out of writing this stuff up. However, my most recent piece on Scorpion and Sub-Zero’s epic entrance in the 1995 Mortal Kombat film, and it being pretty much the greatest goddamn thing in the universe, really threw up a few interesting discussions in the ring about the film. One, in particular, the best fight from the movie.

Without a doubt, the fights in the film are absolutely the best parts of the movie, (with of course the exception of the previous article). It’s MORTAL KOMBAT! The fights are what it’s all about! While some are fantastic on their own, a few left us with an undesirable mountain of wtf and was ultimately- a little disappointing. I really hate having to write that, but a few of our beloved characters really got the garbage shaft in this movie. So as great as this live-action adaptation is, let’s hope the 2021 film brings some of our guys some deserved justice.

And to be perfectly honest, I have no doubts that they will.

Anyways, I’m all about using my worthless opinion to rank stuff- so let’s do this! From Worst to Best, because I like save the best for last-

8. Liu Kang VS Kitana

I don’t even know what to say about this other than this is some lame bullshit. Kitana has always been one of my personal favorites to play with because if you got those moves down to memory, you can really beat some serious ass with her. I get the story doesn’t want them to fight it out and blah, blah, blah… However, this was just terrible. And only serves the purpose in her blabbing on how to defeat Sub Zero. Which is another huge pile of horseshit, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

7.Liu Kang VS Nub

PANTHER GROWL! Hey, not one, but two! For this to be the official kickoff to the Earthrealm’s ultimate fate via dudes kicking the shit out of each other, it’s just… OK. Nub isn’t up to par getting defeated with a double dropkick. But, he real winner here is Liu Kang’s glorious locks. Oh, and it’s pretty awesome seeing Shang Tsung collect his soul.

6. Liu Kang VS Sub-Zero

Goddamnit this is a fight that when we knew it was gonna happen, we were like, “THE SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!” and then… massive disappointment. As an important character in the MK universe, Sub-Zero really got fucked here theatrically. Our boy came down the steps quite confidentially, and the fight scene itself is nothing to gush over. The gymnastics are cool? But this is Mortal Kombat! And for Sub Zero to get taken out so quickly by a bucket of water was just, lame. Ok, Liu Kang is the chosen one and all but COME ON. Ugh.

5. Sonya Blade VS Kano

That Veronica Vaughn, erm I mean, Sonya Blade really kicked the shit out of Kano, literally. Taking time restraints into consideration, this fight is again, ok. But it’s not one I’m truly upset about. It would have been nice to see Kano use his laser eye, but alas, Sonya’s thighs got the better of him. And ultimately, FOOTALITY!

4. Liu Kang VS Shang Tsung

Here we are, a man with presumably a thousand souls getting taken out by a man with, let me count real quick, one without breaking much of a sweat. Albeit the matter of the sorcerer summoning other fighters in lieu of him fighting half the time and myself personally desiring a little more from the fighting performance, both Robin Shou and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa embody and ARE those characters without a doubt. This is what perfect casting looks like ladies and gentlemen. Also, the MK Immortals techno beat that drops when they throw hands, and ending it with Liu Kang’s signature fireball fist is redeemable enough for me.

3. Johnny Cage VS Goro

This fight ranks so high for three reasons:

• “Those were $500 sunglasses asshole!”
• The dick punch
• The enthusiastic Goro Groupies ‘brah

Ok, now we’re getting into the REAL good shit. You know, the type of fight scenes that had us jumping out of seats, dropkicking popcorn all over the theater patrons in front of us. Mr. Special Effects Goro was a glorious spectacle reminiscent of 80s fantasy films such as The Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. It was slightly clumsy at times with the mouth piece not syncing up when Goro spoke at times, but mad props anyway because as a 13-year-old seeing this for the first time- who literally gave a shit?

2. Johnny Cage VS Scorpion

Now it’s time to start dropping the heavy beats!

The first time Scorpion yelled, “GET OVER HERE!”, as a kid in the theater I just went WILD! It was about to go down with one of my all-time favorite fighters and this scene DID NOT disappoint. Well except for maybe how Scorpion was taken out but the fatality/friendship crossover end to the match really boosted this into one of the coolest things ever. And that stands even now to this day. I’m of the opinion Scorpion won this fight up to the end. I mean he must have kicked the shit out of Cage at least 30 times in this short fight. But I guess, Cage had to make it to the end only to be killed within the first two minutes of the sequel.

1. Liu Kang VS Reptile

I’m gonna tell you something right now: If you don’t think this wasn’t the most epic battle of the film, I’m very sorry for how wrong you are. No one saw this coming and when that little monster slithered into the statue and the narrator of a film that doesn’t even HAVE a narrator simply states, “REPTILE” and then the beat drops with an all out ass-whooping, everyone in that theater back in 1995 lost their ever-loving minds.

Fun fact, this scene was actually filmed after the movie was already finished and ready to go, but the studios felt like there wasn’t enough “kombat” in the film, so they added this national treasure. Also, according to Robin Shou, the kick that lands Liu on the edge of a pillar ledge where he falls off, was shot ten times with the last and final shot being used in the film was that of him busting a few ribs from that land.

OUCH.

Now what do you guys think? What’s your favorite fight in the movie? Or if you need to revisit, Amazon has a great deal on the Blu-Ray for under $5.00!! Which you can get here.

Now let’s get toasty and talk some kombat!