Retro Saturday Morning: Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling

Chances are if you were a child of the ’80s and ’90s, you may remember this thing we used to have every Saturday morning- cartoons. Cartoons everywhere. From 6:00 am up until noon when the Saturday afternoon movies would begin, it was an animated festival of gloriousness. We sat in our PJs, sipped on Ecto Cooler, and ate about three bowls of sugary diabetic cereal, with remnants of dried milk on our little metal TV trays. And sometimes, we’d break for a quick play of Super Mario 2 on our NES.

Yep. Those were the glory days.

Saturday morning cartoons, with the exception of a few cartoon networks, have become a thing of the past. If I may be so bold- THAT JUST SUCKS. I feel bad for current or future generations of children who have their media content so scattered, and walk around watching YouTube all goddamn day long. (Am I showing my age yet?). But hey, whose to say Teen Titans GO! won’t be fondly remembered by my eight-year-old twenty years from now. I guess only time will tell.

Anyways enough with the rambling, today we’ll be focusing on one of the greats of the ’80s- Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling. Say what you will about this weirdly awesome Saturday morning gem, but I will defend its epicness until I cease to breathe. The WWE (ugh I still call it WWF) spiked during the mid-’80s and goddamn if it wasn’t everywhere- mostly thanks to a yellow speedo wearing, all-American hero by the name of Hulk Hogan. Love him, or hate him, he made the sport a rite of passage for every man, woman, and child during that time and you just have to respect that. I’m not even sure Wrestling would be as mainstream today if it wasn’t for Thunderlips, I mean Hogan. At night, we had Saturday Night’s Main Event, and in the morning, we had Rock ‘n’ Wrestling. 

And it all began like this…

The DIC Entertainment series ran originally on CBS Saturday mornings from 1985 until 1987 featuring the shenanigans of Hogan and buddies who usually had to deal with Piper and his “baddie” comrades in the face of seriously wacky situations. For instance, having to rid Bobby Heenan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling theme park of a hoard of zombies. (That one, in particular, was my favorite by far) You know, typical Saturday morning fare for us growing up. Unfortunately, due to the wrestler stars hectic schedules, their animated counterparts were voiced by actors. Fun little fact, comedian, and Everyone Loves Raymond star Brad Garrett voiced Hogan. However, in between the usual two-story episode, we would get a break in the middle with a live-action segment of a wrestler in some sort of awesomely ridiculous skit.  I can’t make it clear enough the ones featuring Hot Rod were the damn best.

The series that ran for only two seasons featured “faces” Hulk Hogan, Junkyard Dog, Captain Lou Albano, Andre The Giant, Hillbilly Jim, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Tito Santana, and Wendi Richter. The “heels” led by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper included Nikolia Volkoff, The Iron Sheik, Mr. Fuji, Big John Studd, and The Fabulous Moolah and was an effort to cross-promote the rock-n-wrestling connection that primarily involved pop music icon, Cyndi Lauper. That being said, I really feel like there was a huge missed opportunity there not including Randy Savage in this Saturday morning national treasure. I mean, can you imagine an animated reign of madness? Holy snopes, what could have been, will never… dammit.

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Sigh… They just don’t make them like this anymore. I’m still patiently waiting for a streaming service to pick this up, and while I’m not sure if it will ever come to fruition, there is a five-disc DVD series offered by RetroTVMemories.com here.  Or, if you really want to do things the correct way, Amazon has seasons available on VHS. I mean, if we’re going to bask in “Real American” nostalgia, what better way than blowing into your VCR head and reliving your childhood once again.

WWF: Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling, Vol. 1 [VHS]

Fright Rags Offering Nostalgic Fuzzies With New Plastic Fang Collection!

Fairly certain Fright Rags wants me in debt.

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Iconic horror and pop culture tee company Fright Rags is making my dark, black heart warm up with all the nostalgic fuzzies with this week’s release of the coveted Plastic Fang collection! Designs featuring golden retro favorites such as Little Monsters, The Wizard, and The Running Man, are now available for you to show your nostalgic love towards the cult-classics.

 

Fright Rags Offering Nostalgic Fuzzies With New Plastic Fang Collection!

 

On top of this great series of shirts, Fright Rags is also celebrating 15 glorious years of delivering quality horror merch with the announcement of the CLAS-SICK line. Throughout the course of 2018, the company will be re-releasing 15 out-of-print designs on a special limited basis. Each release will be accompanied by a special “behind-the-scenes” video (make sure to subscribe to the YouTube channel) with more information about the design, and never before told stories about the design. The first shirt to be released was Jeff Zornow’s infamous ZOMBIE VS SHARK tee on January 20th, which you have seen in the hilarious movie, This Is The End. So make sure to be on the lookout for those beasts, as it may be your last chance to snag those up!

 

Manic Mania For the Madman – Horror’s Unsung Slasher Icon

Madman may not share the infamy of other slasher films of the era such as Sleepaway Camp, Silent Night, Deadly Night, or My Bloody Valentine, but make no mistake – this small-budget independent horror movie has proven to be a tremendous force to be reckoned with.

Madman Could Not Be Stopped

Upon its release, it received horrible coverage. According to Madman himself (Paul Ehlers) the film never found its way on the cover of any magazine of the day and there was only a tiny blurb of an article discussing its merit. That’s shameful! To top it all off, very few theaters chose to showcase the movie making its audience miserably limited. Under most usual circumstances, Madman should have been quickly forgotten in the traffic of better-known franchises. However, in spite of its challenges not only did the film find its audience but has enjoyed cult stardom that grows stronger with each new viewing.

ComingSoon
image via ComingSoon

Being a fan of Madman is like being part of an exclusive club. A fan club with members like Joe Bob Briggs and Quentin Tarantino. Yup, both of them are Madman fans. Others praise Jason, Michael, and Freddy (nothing wrong with that at all I must add), but Madman fans are a category all of their own. It’s as if knowing the movie is our own kind of secret handshake. We recognize his growl and know his theme song by heart – and damn proud of it!

Originally the movie was based on local ghost stories. That’s right, my little ghoulies, initially Madman was rooted in the infamous Cropsey legend and was always intended to be the quintessential campfire boogeyman. He is a rumor, the resident guilty secret no one dares talk about after nightfall, and a whisper that chills the blood with inescapable dread. After thirty years he is still proving to be the ultimate deep woods camp legend. All you need to know to survive is “Don’t say his name above a whisper, or pay the hideous consequences.”

Villains Wiki
image via Villains Wiki

Today we’re going to pay the Madman his dues and celebrate all the fun, screams, and gory good fun of this underrated slasher!

fangoria 2
image via Fangoria

The Madman Legend

Old man Marz was anything but a soft-spoken farmer who lived peaceably out in the woods with his family. Oh no. Marz was an ugly drunk who beat his wife to a pulp and savaged both of his kids. When he wasn’t raising Hell at home he was busy cracking skulls open at the local tavern. In one such brawl his nose had been bitten off, but Marz – being the hateful cuss that he was – didn’t feel a thing.

His was a house of pain where a bruised wife and traumatized children lived in constant fear of his violent outbursts. It was anything but a home. That same hateful abode still stands, but is now rattled by the cruel ticking away of time and is cursed with haunted whispers and frightful suspicions; for one night Marz went completely ravenous mad. Without a hint of warning or any reason the old farmer picked up his axe and walked across the creaking floor boards with only a single thought in mind: murder. One by one Marz slaughtered each member of his family with cold systematic precision. As if to celebrate the event once finished Marz strolled into town – and still sodden by his family’s blood – sat himself down and had a beer at the tavern.

Upon realizing his crime vigilantes took matters into their own hands. Fed up with the sadism of the hateful creature they dragged Marz onto the streets. Someone took the Madman’s bloodied axe and buried it deep into the farmer’s face. He was still standing though, now driven by a rage that would please the cruelties of Satan and ready to slaughter the whole town. Luckily though they strung him up to the nearest tree and hung him there, thinking all was over. The next morning though Marz was no longer at the tree. He and the bodies of his family went missing, never to be found.

Blood Soaked Horror Reviews
image via Blood Soaked Horror Reviews

Madman Marz –as he came to be known, was never mentioned among the locals for fear that he would hear his name and come running.

coming soon
image via comingsoon

Upon the anniversary of the Marz family murder our cast of heroes (victims) have decided to camp just a little too close to the old farmer’s abandoned property. What begins as a fun little camp-fire ghost story soon turns into a night of savage butchery as the Madman hunts each of them down. All too late it becomes apparent that the legends are real – that he is real – and there is no escaping him.

fangoria
image via Fangoria

As far as back stories go his is one Hell of a good one. So why in the Hell does he not get any more recognition than he does? Madman is just as equally vicious as either Jason or Leatherface. As a matter of fact, I’d love to see a crossover of Madman vs Leatherface. The hatchet vs the chainsaw. Two backwoods maniacs with a taste for blood battling it out to the death! It should at the very least be a comic book for Shoggoth’s sake!

It’s an understatement to say this is a criminally underrated 80’s slasher film. It’s beautifully filmed all at night giving it an eerie tone that makes you think the killer waits behind every shadow. Fans of the slasher genre deserve to discover this one. It’s a film that needs to be experienced, and is best experienced with a group of friends.

Rivers of Grue
image via Rivers of Grue

Fun Facts

While filming Madman there was a rumor that someone was lurking around the woods at night uninvited and wanting to interrupt the crew’s progress. The director approached our Madman star and asked him to go out in the woods at night and stalk the stalker. While in full makeup and costume by the way. No lurker was ever found though.

Gaylen Ross of Dawn of the Dead stars in the movie. However, not only does she use a fake name in the end credits but allegedly refuses to admit she was ever involved in the making of the film.

cineoutsider
image via cineoutsider

Final Thoughts

Today we have seen Jason in Manhattan and space. Hell, the fucking Leprechaun got his little ass shot up into space. Michael has survived rappers and a remake. Freddy has been in a womb, in hell, and at Crystal Lake. And we have how many Hatchet – clearly inspired from Madman’s design – movies are there now? Not to mention Leatherface, Michael, Jason and Freddy are all now video game stars. But we only have one Madman movie. No sequels or remakes. There was talk that Paul Ehlers and his son had been working on a remake, but to my knowledge it hasn’t progressed beyond that. I think it’s a travesty that this never was allowed to become a franchise in of itself.

Not to mention I’m a horror figure collector and my shelf feels empty because Marz isn’t there. I’d gladly commission a talented artist to make me a Madman figure to stand beside my McFarlane Movie Maniacs.

Wicked Horror
image via Wicked Horror

Fans have made custom masks and fake trailers in honor of Marz. There’s a high demand for the Madman out there, and the love for his lore isn’t dying down. If you’re looking for a fun movie this is one

This has been Manic Exorcism. You all be sure to stay tuned in and keep those fuzzy nostalgic feelings warm here by the campfire.  I’ll be leaving you with the iconic Madman song.

Madman [Blu-ray/DVD Combo]