10 Most Rockin’ ’80s Cartoon Intros

 

If there’s anything we can remember distinctively about our favorite cartoons from our childhood, it’s most certainly the intros. The  ’80s are undeniably associated with over-the-top awesome music, bright colors, and spandex galore. So when it came to dazzling the eyes and ears of children of the era via animation, it came as no exception.

Even if it’s been 20 plus years since you’ve laid eyes on your favorite Saturday morning splendor, chances are you can totally remember that rockin’ tune that opened the portal to the castle of Greyskull or man-cats in blue spandex. I’m even willing to bet you probably catch yourself humming one of these intros every so often, like a trapped vortex of ’80s epicness spinning around in your dome. Well, if not, you’re about to for sure. And I’m not the least bit sorry about it!

I have to say it was pretty daunting ranking these magnificent ‘toon openers. The only proper way to get this task fairly done was to use the “head-bobbing method”. Basically, how hard it got my head bobbing back and forth like an idiot headed to the Roxbury.

Image result for a night at the roxbury gif

Anyways, according to the all mighty head bob, here are the 10 greatest cartoon intros of the ’80s!

 

10. Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling

Sadly, (and this is so irritating of the WWE) anytime someone uploads that glorious intro to Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling, it gets taken down pretty quick. Sometimes you’ll be lucky if you catch it. But today is not that day my lovely readers. Luckily enough this kick-ass tune is quite awesome enough to hold on its own. Now just imagine Hogan and his animated buddies hopping in the Wrestling Roadster, while being chased down by Piper and his posse. Then a live-action, fully dressed in red spandex Hogan walking the city streets fist-pumping to this fine tune. You’re welcome.

 

9. Heathcliff

He may have not been quite as popular as that other smartass orange cat, but goddamn if he didn’t have the better cartoon opener. I don’t remember one thing about this show, other than the cool alley cats. But I sure as shit can sing this tune without skipping a beat. That has to count for something.

 

8. Ducktales 

Oh man, this one hits right into the nostalgia membranes-woo-hoo! Even if you never watched this, (and who are you if you didn’t) you remember and KNOW every word to this song- woo-hoo! Shit, now I can’t stop with the woo-hoos’. Curse you McDuck!

Just kidding. We love you. Woo-hoo.  RIP Alan Young.

 

7. Transformers

Muck like with Ducktales, chances are you at least know some of the lyrics. Come on, who doesn’t recognize, “Robots in disguise“? You’d seriously have to have been living in Gollum’s cave of riddles to not know at least that part. Plus, it’s basically robots fighting each other. What’s not to love here?

 

6. Alvin and the Chipmunks

It was inevitable a show centered around a trio of singing chipmunks that parody Michael Jackson songs were going to end up on this list. I mean, if the intro theme can’t suck us into a show of that nature, you’re kind of screwed. Love or hate the talking tree rodents, that tune is undeniably catchy.

5. Thundercats

HOOOOOOOOO!!!!

This intro gives you ZERO explanation of what this show is about. But the flashing lights, super ’80s-ish music, and all the energetic ass-kicking sucked you in anyway. When you heard this as a kid, you got damn excited to plop a squat on that oversized bean-bag chair and watch this badassery with a big bowl of cereal. And then maybe whack your little brother over the head with your plastic sword in the midst of all the excitement.

 

 

4. The Real Ghostbusters

Well of course, the more animated theme of  Ray Parker Jr’s smash hit from the 1984 blockbuster of the same name, was going to be included. Hell, even Rowan is getting down on this rockin’ classic intro to, quite frankly, one of the most badass cartoons to ever grace the screen on Saturday Morning.

 

3. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

The most powerful man in the universe also had one of the most powerful (and fuckin’ spectacular) intro themes in cartoon history. Much like with Thundercats, the opener is bright, flashy, and raging with testosterone; making you want to just sit the hell down and satisfy your senses with Skeletor mercilessly ripping into the He-Fool with epic insults. Face it guys- the Bone Daddy of Eternia was the real star here.

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2. Jem and the Holograms

There could be an argumentive debate on which Jem intro is superior- the other I’m referring to is the Barbie-like “Jem Girl” theme. However, the fact that The Misfits don’t get a little solo bit in the latter, automatically makes it the weaker version in my own humble opinion. Also, this may be another unpopular opinion on my side, but while Jem and her friends are truly outrageous in their own right, The Misfits had the better songs, period. I can only imagine what kind of rad as hell intro could have been with Pizzazz at the helm. Oh Hell, just bring them back and give them their own show already.

 

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I think it might be fair to say that the Ninja Turtles not only reign as High King for cartoon intros but quite possibly the animated era of the ’80s altogether. When poor He-Man fell from grace (that atrocious 1987 film may have been the final nail in the coffin), four smart-ass teenage kung-fu mutants took the crown as THEE most popular show for both boys and girls for the remainder of the decade. The exciting in-your-face opener is just the greasy pepperoni on top of a delicious pizza with a load of glorious ’80s cheese (but not too much) and a perfect solid dough underneath, Making this not only the most kick-ass intro to really get you excited for an episode but one of the greatest cartoons of the decade as well.

Great, now I just made myself hungry. Now if you’ll excuse me I have tomato bread to consume.

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What’s your favorite animated ’80s intro? Stay tuned as we dive into righteous ’90s next week!

 

 

Valentine’s Day Poetic Justice with Peter Cushing

Happy Valentine’s Day, my lovelies!

We here at Nightmare Nostalgia truly hope you have a bloody good one today! But we know why you’re here. Wherever you find yourself right now: out to eat, on your way home (or tonight’s big date) or whether you’re a single heart with a party of one you have still found yourself here with us in our happy little private asylum of dark wonders.  So huddle up close and join the Nightmare cast on the most romantic day of the year! And oh boy, does your ol’ buddy Manic have a sticky good treat for you all tonight!

Firstly, holiday horror movies are all the rage during the festive times. We have so many to choose from, and although it sometimes feels as if both Halloween (obviously) and Christmas hog all the spotlight we do in fact have some dark little delicacies to pick from every February 14th! Oh I know many will naturally go to the timeless classic My Bloody Valentine – as rightly you should – but today I want to focus on a little lesser known Valentine’s Day atrocity brought to us by the one and the only, the late great Peter Cushing!

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image via giphy

He and Christopher Lee are my two favorite actors of all time! More than once this dastardly duo starred in some of the greatest horror classics of the ages. Anytime the two appeared in a monster classic you could bet it was going to be grander than life itself!

Today Peter Cushing is best known by modern audiences as the cold-blooded Grand Moff Tarkin of Star Wars, a man who gives orders to annihilate entire planets, snuffing out life, erasing cultures and extinguishing entire histories.

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image via vulture

To me, he will always be revered as Baron Frankenstein, who was not above murder to obtain specimens to further his heinous crimes against Life. However, when he wasn’t building monster he was fighting them as the heroic Dr. Van Helsing, a man who was a superhero long before Marvel pooped out their products over-abundantly nearly every month – and his Van Helsing was more kick-ass than the Avengers combined. Dracula ran from him!

A long while ago there was a Tales From the Crypt movie that worked as an anthology horror film, much like Creepshow. This film featured several segments of the comeuppance of some very unpleasant fellows who get to revisit their ungodly crimes right before they are dropped into the flaming horrors of Hell.

YouTube
image via YouTube

One such segment is Poetic Justice. In it, we see our dear Peter Cushing who is a loving man who behaves like the local Santa of sorts. The noble widower finds discarded things among the rubble and makes toys out of their otherwise abandoned parts, giving new life and plenty of joy to the neighboring children. However, hateful eyes are turned against the dear old man and spitefully he is attacked and bullied until he no longer can take it.

The Spooky Isles
image via The Spooky Isles

It’s interesting because I first saw this movie back when I was a kid and had no earthly business watching such gruesome spectacles at such an early age – but I’d not trade it for the world! I couldn’t have been older than five, and this episode of the movie always stood out to me. So much so that I thought it was a nightmare I had dreamt up because anytime I inquired about it, no one knew what I was talking about. Then last year I picked up a VHS copy of Tales From the Crypt and to my surprise HERE IT WAS! Exactly as I remembered it.

So here you go, lovelies! From Manic with Love! Awwww.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day and remember it NEVER pays to be heartless to others.

Hehehehe……

Tales From The Crypt / Vault Of Horror [Blu-ray]

“Weekend at Bernie’s II” is the Superior Film

Nothing makes you feel older than the things you loved from your childhood coming back into fashion and being called “retro.” Fuck! It is that time already? The movies I grew up on were some of the funniest, silliest and most entertaining movies and compared to today’s standards seemed more wholesome, even when they weren’t. One of my favorites was the Weekend at Bernie’s movies.

Weekend At Bernie's II

Only two movies in the line, the idea was hilarious. Two poon hounds (Andrew McCarthy and John Silverman) find out someone is embezzling from the firm they work for. Little do they know the embezzler is their boss they reported it to. He invites them to his beach house as a “thank you” (aka come get super murdered) but not before getting himself assassinated by a mafia man for fooling around with his girlfriend. The guys show up, Bernie Lomax(Terry Kiser)is dead, but they pretend he is still alive, confusing the hitman and essentially putting them in the line of fire.

If that wasn’t enough felony fun for you, Weekend at Bernie’s II brings voodoo into the mix. To try and find the money that Bernie embezzled, a cartel hired a voodoo priestess to raise Bernie from the dead to lead them to the money in St. Thomas. However, the voodoo goons fuck up and Bernie only moves when he hears music.

Just re-watching that scene to write this had me howling. This movie is comedy gold, if only for the dead man dance. I can’t count the number of times I have performed the Bernie flop and shake and Kiser is a trooper in this movie, too. The slapstick physical comedy in this movie is pure 80’s/90’s charm. I fucking lost it during the harpoon scene. But why is Weekend at Bernie’s II the superior film? Because the corpse of Bernie Lomax gets the chance to truly be its own character. In the first one it was all about the wacky scenarios that McCarthy and Silverman got into, but in this movie, it’s, “OMG, where the fuck did Bernie go? Shit, he danced into the damn ocean.”

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The first movie was necessary to set the tone and solidify the characters and the second movie was their chance to really have fun with it. It wasn’t silly on the level of Mel Brooks, so it still felt original and not like a parody. Much like with Ghostbusters, I prefer the second movie over the first. Uh oh, I can already hear the angry mob gathering on that one.

When it comes to movies from this time period, Weekend at Bernie’s II is right up there with Captain Ron and The Burbs. And You’ll be hearing from me about The Burbs in the future.

Weekend At Bernie’s II