In 2020, the full moon came on Halloween, and a happy coincidence left me fully convinced in the All Hallows Blue Moonlight on a notion that I had always known deep down. That Stephen King’s Silver Bullet was truly a criminally underrated Halloween film.
Heh. I hope you read that in your best Jane voice.
Now, it’s obvious that the film itself models a timeline of sorts from the 1983 novella; which acts like a calendar of chapters rummaging through each month of a chaotic year where a werewolf is violently tormenting the residents of Tarkers’ Mills. The movie starts off in late Spring and the majority of the film is actually set in the Summer, with a few big scenes leading up to and taking place on Independence Day. In which case, makes my argument here a tad trying, but I’m here to fight and will die on the hill that’s forever a Halloween movie.
Midway through the movie, Fall sets in with the climatic final confrontation and ending landing on Halloween itself and although as stated, most of the film is staged at different points of time throughout the year, the last half of the movie really sells that Autumn ambiance flowing into the Halloween Full Moon final chapter. The changing of the leaves, that you can hear crunching in between scenes. The sinister aura surrounding the town is much heavier now, giving off that Halloween lurking around the corner feeling-you all know exactly what I’m talking about. You can practically SMELL the Autumn atmosphere. Especially when we get to the last ten minutes or so of the movie, where Jack-O-Lanterns and die-cut paper skeletons are seen outside the Coslaw residence.
So to me, it feels more like a Halloween flick than anything else. And I’m kind of pissed that AMC Fearfest opts to show Stephen King’s Carrie 20 times a month in October and Silver Bullet a mere ONE TIME. Sure, I get films like Carrie are more universally popular. However, the fact that Silver Bullet consistently gets the shaft, both in the cinematic horrorthons and in the horror community, kind of bums me out. It’s underappreciated, underrated, and the best werewolf movie out of the slew of Lycanthrope films that came out in the early 80s’,
YEAH, I SAID IT. Corey Haim in a gas-powered motorcycle of a wheelchair and Gary Busey wrasslin’ reverend werewolves? Sorry, but there’s no competition happening here.
Stephen King’s first handwritten screenplay from his own novella adaption deserves a little more respect this Halloween. Give it a viewing closer to the holiday, and you’ll get the same Halloween ambient fuzzies as I do every time I watch it.
Halloween in the eighties ruled. Being born in 1982, allowed me to live most of my childhood throughout the glorious decade, following being an angsty pre-teen during the Grunge era, and ending my adolescent years as the Class of 2000. I feel pretty lucky to have experienced this monumental changing of the tides, but one thing that has changed too much, and I fondly miss, is the way Halloween WAS growing up. Most people could attribute that to, “eh, it’s never the same as when you were a child”; which is of course, true. However, some Halloween traditions should never have gone away- and that one is the McDonald’s Halloween Buckets.
I’ll never forget the first commercial I saw for these national treasures. It was during a CBS airing for Garfield’s Halloween Adventure, which I had originally uploaded in its entirety WITH that commercial included before YouTube flagged it… but hey, I tried. Anyway, I along with all other kids my age became obsessed. The arrival of October meant shopping for noisy plastic costumes with masks at our local Sav-On drugstore, Halloween community carnivals, Halloween parades at school, and of course, McBoo and friends.
The orange bucket Happy Meals that originally were released in 1986, resembled that of a pumpkin and had a variety of three available; McPunk’n, a traditional jack-o-lantern face; McBoo, a ghost face; and McGoblin, the “scariest” of the three-which is the one I still have to this day!
The buckets themselves were nowhere near large enough to take on a night of heavy tricks or treats, but they sure were great storage pails and maintained a versatile function for the past 30 years. This little bastard went from holding my Polly Pockets and stickers in the 80s’, to pins, hair accessories, and makeup in my teenage 90s’, and circling back today in 2023, where I actually use it to hold my rather respectable collection of McDonald’s employee pins.
While most know to believe the Halloween buckets weren’t available until 1986, that’s not actually entirely accurate. McDonald’s ran a test promotion in the Boston and New York area with prototypes of several Halloween Happy Meal Buckets from October 11 through October 31, 1985. After a successful run, they were introduced nationally in 1986. They came back the following year after, but for some reason were absent in 1988. Then in 1989, the buckets got a mild makeover with McBoo turning white and a new friend-the McWitch, complete with pointy hat on the lid!
In 1990, the buckets added some glow-in-the-dark flair to the designs, while changing the faces entirely to a more cartoonish look- one that I personally think is less than the originals, but not a bad second-place prize if these are the ones you had. In 1991, the buckets were replaced by vinyl glow-in-the-dark trick-or-treat bags, which get a LOT OF SHIT by Halloween bucket lovers, but I actually used this fucker for trick-or-treating, and it served me well. The handles seem pretty flimsy, but this bastard held up for a full bag filled with Tootsie Rolls and Mr. Bones. So I can’t hate on them.
To keep in with the now tradition of refreshing the successful Halloween product, 1992 saw another makeover to McPunk’n, McBoo, and McWitch with minor facial changes, but with the addition of a new cookie cutter lid!
And that my friends, was the last time we got a quality Mcdonald’s Halloween Bucket. After taking yet, another hiatus in 1993, the pails came back, with a more “modern” makeover that just sort of plain sucked. McWitch looked like an angry cartoon drunk, and even though they still had the cool cookie cutters, it seemed less magical than their predecessors.
After this monumental modern fuck-up, the pails again disappeared until 1999, when they came back only as a duo, with no more spoopy faces. Instead, we got Halloween scenes that wrapped around the bucket featuring McDonald Land characters. On the upside, the cookie cutters were still there.
In 2001, the quality diminished further and the cookie cutter lids were abolished entirely. We got the same cartoonish scenes around the pail, but we got bat handles instead on the lid now-which although sort of cool, were so damn uncomfortable, cutting into your palms like Shakaka the Great White Bat trying to escape Ace Ventura’s hands while running through the jungle.
In 2010, Mr. Potato Head was apparently spooky enough to get a themed Halloween pail. This is where the downfall of a soft society began folks.
The 2011 pails were somewhat of a return to nostalgia with a pumpkin or a monster face, along with the again, gnarly bat handles. But that was the last time we would see Halloween-faced pails at all. Following years brought cartoon-themed buckets such as Scooby-Doo, Monster High, and eventually Minions pails. Then, the year that ended it all in 2016, the pails made their final appearance with It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown-in which I guess if they’re gonna go out, at least it’s with a Halloween classic and not a damn Potato Head toddler toy.
In 2022, the Halloween bucket made a much-welcomed, and triumphant comeback. McDonald’s hearing our cries for nostalgia for many years, decided it was time to give in to the relentless people, such as myself, and bring back some favorite retro designs of yesteryear, minus a fully functional lid. Regardless of outcries of a paper sticker sheet for a lid, I was just happy to have them come back after many years of whining about it.
It’s been 37 years since the nostalgic Halloween buckets entered our childhood Halloween fantasies and while these little pieces of big corporate plastic may seem trivial, they serve as a staple of our childhoods, and I’m just glad the Fast Food King of Halloween is continuing the tradition into 2023!
Long after Abbott and Costello met Frankenstein and eight years before we learned the ultimate truth that the wolfman did indeed have nards, live-action theatrical gatherings of our beloved undead monsters were far and in between. Up until we hit the twenty-first century, that is. Nestled in the middle of those two great films lies a little diddy that aired specifically as an ABC Halloween Special Presentation on October 28, 1979: The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t.
And with so many people questioning what Halloween will or won’t be this year, I feel like now is no better time to revisit the nostalgic classic.
Hot off of the hit primetime show Taxi, Judd Hirsh plays his form of Dracula, (which totally serves as a pre-curser to Adam Sandler’s Hotel Transylvania take) and self-proclaimed “King of the Monsters”. We start the program off in Dracula’s castle the night before Halloween where a news break on Drac’s boob tube informs himself and Igor (played by Henry Gibson- Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In, the voice of Wilber- Charlotte’s Web) that Halloween is in danger of being canceled; and that Dracula is behind this travesty.
This totally pisses him off.
With malicious rumors swirling, Drac calls upon the rest of the world’s top-notch monsters for a meeting of the minds. Well, actually, to shame them as he tells them they are no longer scary due to them exploiting themselves. Such as Frankenstein (played by John Schuck who also played Herman Munster in the 80s revival) letting a so-called movie influence him to tap dance.
Gee, I wonder which one, haha!
The werewolf (Jack Riley-The Bob Newhart Show), Zaabar the Zombie (Josip Elic- One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest), and the Mummy (Robert Fitch) fair no better with Hirsh Drac as he pretty much lays right into them for being shit monsters. Then, the almighty Halloween witch (played by Mariette Hartly) shows up late, gives Dracula a pointed boot in the ass (vocally), and admits she is the one who started the vicious rumor as she is dead-tired of being a witch. Tired of being called ugly and taking orders from Dracula- As a woman, I can totally relate to this. She puts her witches’ boot down and demands certain actions be taken, such as becoming leader of the monster world, or she refuses to ride over the Halloween moon that night; refusing to do so, would therefore cancel Halloween officially.
Well, Drac obviously thinks she’s gone too far and poo poos on her demands; leaving the witch no choice but to flee to her castle while Drac and the other monsters hatch a plan to get her to do her Halloween duties.
And that’s where I’ll stop for those of you who have never experienced this little Halloween national treasure. While both light-hearted and humorous, The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t has a pretty serious undertone hidden behind this Prime-time holiday special. Our side characters, a young pair of siblings who at the same time see the same newscast as our monster protagonists, help bring the story full circle with a very special 80s-esque message. You know, the kind that sort of brings a tear to your eye, moral to the story, type of malarkey that you rarely see anymore. And it’s an extraordinary message directed toward young girls in particular that, up until pretty recently, the Disney Princess movies usually failed at.
THAT PEOPLE LOVE YOU FOR EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
Should I say it louder for the people in the back?
And honestly, that’s such a beautiful thing. This, for me, makes this unique in particular, one of the tip-top best Halloween Special Presentations of the twentieth century. Not to mention the nonsensical disco dance at the end where Dracula is channeling his inner Tony Manero. Look, I know we were at the peak end of the disco craze in the late 70s’, but this is just weirdly out of place. You know what, tho? I’m on board with it because that’s part of the marvelous phenomena that make these specials so unique and nostalgically fuzzy.
While The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t eventually made its way to the Disney Trick or Treat Halloween block from 1983-1996; and then to VHS retitled as The Night Dracula Saved The World, it never got a much-deserved DVD release. Or hell, in this case, a special Blu-ray is much deserved for this gem. I’m looking at you, Arrow Video, and Shout Factory. The ball is in your court.
In the meantime, thank disgustingly vile Candy Corns for the glorious YouTube. Happy Halloween nostalgia nuggets!
