Tag Archives: Nightmare Nostalgia

Wrestling Memories

Good God Almighty! Mankind and Undertaker Rewatch Their Iconic Hell In a Cell Match 25 Years Later

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The moment you mention both The Undertaker and Mankind simultaneously, without even finishing the sentence, minds have already traveled back to June 28, 1998. 

On this infamous day in wrestling history, most of us were plopped right in front of our television sets, awaiting the event of the goddamn Summer-The King of the Ring. Maybe not necessarily the actual slew of matches themselves, at least not for me anyway, but ONE match in particular; and that was the long-standing feud of The Undertaker and Mankind (Mick Foley) in what was dubbed, the Hell in a Cell Match.

It was a night that anyone and their mama that was watching would NEVER forget, and would immediately set the standard for future Hell in a Cell matches until basically the end of time.

After an almost two-year rivalry, the score was to finally be settled in the way of a 16-foot-high steel cage with a roof attached. Right from the word go, there was drama in this Hell in a Cell match as Mankind entered first and immediately grabbed a steel chair as he made his way up towards the top of the cage and onto the roof, awaiting the Undertaker as he would arrive second. Unbeknownst to the audience, Mark Calaway (Undertaker) went into the match with a fractured ankle and considering what was about to transpire, these two men would go down in history as the biggest pair of beasts with gargantuan balls that ever set foot in a WWE ring.

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! HE KILLED HIM!

The match had barely gotten underway and Undertaker just YEETS Mankind off the top of the steel cage like a rag doll right into an announcer’s table freaking out Jim Ross and pretty much anyone watching as Ross let off a slew of now very quotable sentences expressing his shock and awe. The rest of just screamed a shitload of profanities as we really thought this guy wasn’t getting back up, and we just witnessed a horrible accident.

“When I tossed him off of the cage, it was like time stopped. People say they have out-of-body experiences and things like that. Standing on the cage and watching him fly, I could actually see him and myself standing up there. I didn’t think Mick Foley would get up from that.” -Mark Calaway

Medical personnel came out to check on Foley, as did Funk and various others including McMahon who broke kayfabe by looking legitimately worried about someone his Mr. McMahon character was supposed to dislike. Mankind was placed on a stretcher and began to be wheeled out of the arena however, Mankind got his crazy ass up from the stretcher and fought off the officials, so he climb again onto the top of the cell to resume the match.

And that’s when all Hell broke loose, and we all collectively lost our ever-loving minds. Then, this crazy SOB takes a Chokeslam through the top of the cell. It’s a miracle that Mankind managed to finish off this brutal encounter after taking two dangerous falls. Undertaker prevailed with the Tombstone Piledriver, but this Hell in a Cell match has not been topped in terms of brutality or has ever been erased from the minds of wrestling fans over the past 25 years.

And apparently, neither has Mark Calaway nor Mick Foley. To celebrate the 25th anniversary of, undoubtedly, the greatest Hell in a Cell Match of all time, the pair of legends recently took to YouTube on the WWE channel and rewatch their infamous match while giving their commentary. A true gift for both the Attitude Era and the average wrestling fans alike.

Enjoy and remember kids, whenever you find yourself around some asswad telling you wrestling is fake, be sure to point them to this match!

Nostalgic Eats

[VIDEO] Let’s Visit McDonald’s In 1990!

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The year is 1990 on a mild Summer afternoon, and you just left your favorite Mom and Pop Video Store with a bag of Reese’s Pieces and a copy of Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan under your arm for a first-time watch. Depending on who you talk to, that could be either the greatest or worst viewing experience of your life– but either way, a good time, eh?! We got the munchies. We need some substance for the adrenaline that comes with a new slasher flick, so where do we go? McDonald’s of course! Where the styrofoam containers flow like a non-eco-friendly river made up of “fancy ketchup” packets and customer service is still kind of a thing. A time when if you weren’t feeling a Quarter Pounder, you had the option of a McPizza. Or perhaps a fried apple pie with a side of boxed chocolate chip cookies. You may or may not be interrupting some kid’s birthday party, and for the underlying cynic in all of us, that was a tad amusing. Five bucks bought you a Big Mac Extra Value Meal or, for the kids( or big kids), a $3 Happy Meal and your day was complete.

McDonald’s was a special treat for most of us who lived through the 80s and 90s. Whether you were a kid or adult, it was goddamn magical and a memory that serves up all the fuzzies along with a side of beef tallow fries. However, thanks to the internet and YouTubers like Vampire Robot, we can relive those times with home video footage of what McDonald’s used to be and what we remember as kids in the early 90s!

The first video is nostalgia overload with core memories unlocked as we peer into a McD’s restaurant in 1990 as a family orders a meal, and we get those lovely closeups of a Filet of Fish clamshell container and a Fry Friends Happy Meal! In the second video, we’re bombarded with styrofoam overload that takes us back to a time when the McNuggets got the same packaging treatment as a Quarter Pounder.

Some things should never be taken for granted, and visors’ off to both Vampire Robot’s channel and the person who recorded and preserved this footage. The world needs more heroes like you.

Editorials

30 Years of Prehistoric Nostalgia: Welcome To Jurassic Park

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Clears throat, and in my best Sophia Petrillo voice: Picture it… June 1993. Prince announces that he is changing his name to an unpronounceable symbol. Ken Griffey Jr. slugs his 100th career home run in Seattle and one of the biggest blockbuster films of not just the 90s, but an entire generation is about to stomp its way into a legacy comparable to few other films in the 20th century.

Yes, sir, that movie is JURASSIC PARK.

Released nationwide theatrically on June 11th, 1993, Jurassic Park was THEE movie to see for us kids as we began our Summer. Fresh out of the sixth grade, and on my birthday that weekend, two friends, myself, and my younger brother headed to our local brick-and-mortar theater (that was literally made of bricks on the outside and in as you’ll see below), for a Saturday afternoon showing of Dino-Power with a planned visit to our favorite comic book store next door after to discuss the movie and grab the latest issue of X-Men. A seemingly normal afternoon at the movies, or so we thought. This was anything but. This was something otherworldly. Something special, And a movie that will leave a lasting impression on us for the rest of our lives.

Also, can we appreciate how movie theaters looked back in the day? Magnificent. I miss this place deeply.

That moment of shock on Alan Grant’s face spoke universally to all of us watching this movie for the first time. Steven Spielberg created an entire world for us, one we could only dream about or see pictures of in books. This was King Kong for our generation. It was so visually breathtaking that it was all we could think about all Summer. It was the type of movie that one could watch over and over again and still never get bored with it. For 90s kids, it was love at first sight, and it got us completely transfixed. It made us obsess about dinosaurs if we weren’t already while creating memories like the one I’m speaking on now that we still remember pretty vividly 30 years ago.

I mean, I could also never forget having to take my little brother out of the theater as he was in absolute HYSTERICS over the goat being eaten. I missed about five glorious minutes of one of the best scenes of that film for the first time, and I never let him forget that. To this very day, when I’m in a particular mood, and he’s being an asshole, I just remind him of that little incident and that he owes me at the very least a Kidney should I ever need a spare.

Anyway, Jurassic Park is one of those movies that continuously does well even in re-releases, and that all boils down to both the longevity of this massive achievement in filmmaking and of course, nostalgia folks. Jurassic Park had no goddamn business being as good as it was. Still, with the underlying tale-as-old-as-time Frankenstein message of men playing God, on top of the overly amazing special and practical effects that brought dinosaurs to life on the big screen, the story itself was one that both kids and adults could relate to and understand. With great movies, comes great responsibility. And over the years, fans and studios have done well with keeping the legacy of this movie in a respective light without dimming its original magic. We’ve had five subsequent movies, since Jurassic Park and sure they’re all great in their own way, they’ll never match the wonder and awe of the original; as with any first film of course.

Even though Jurassic Park didn’t need promotional tie-ins to help rake in the Blockbuster bucks, there was no short supply of clothing, food, and toys to usher in the Jurassic era of the 90s. In fact, everyone was looking to cash in on the Dino-Hype, including McDonald’s which just a year prior was scolded by parents for the Batman Returns Happy Meals as apparently the film was too violent to be associated with the wholesome obesity-driven agenda that is the Fast Food Giant. McD’s wasn’t going to let this monster of a promotion opportunity go extinct on them, so they compromised with an extra-value meal aimed at “adults” that included collector cups in lieu of Happy Meals to avoid the pearl-clutchers in their ears.

Also me after eating one of those dino-sized meals…

Toy company Kenner produced a line of action figures, vehicles, and of course Dino figs including a couple of “Dino-Screamers” like the Velociraptor that shrieked at your little brother for making you miss some integral parts of the movie because he was being a crybaby.

Yes, I’m still bitter. Also, yes, these things ruled.

Dankin also got in on the toy phenomenon by producing a line of HIGHLY sought-after Jurassic plush toys that was so popular, the company couldn’t seem to keep up with the demand. These things were beautifully made and MASSIVE to boot. Just take a look at this gorgeous one provided by JurassicToys. Net!

Also, we can never forget that SEGA gave us one of the coolest openings to a video game ever with JURASSIC PARK: THE VIDEO GAME. This almost has a Spaceballs-type theme to it, doesn’t it?

Limited Run Games is looking to cash in on the anniversary and your nostalgia with the Jurassic Park 30th Anniversary Retro Collection. The announcement was made back in April with the image below, which features Jurassic Park games from the NES, SNES, and Game Boy. No one has heard a peep since then on when these will be released, but I would imagine at the time of this post, it would be extremely soon.

To say Jurassic Park is a modern day classic is as cliché as it gets, but sometimes that trope needs to just be said. One could even argue it’s the best film of the decade for both nostalgic and filmmaking quality of reason, what with breaking boundaries and all. To say cinema wouldn’t be as computer-literate now without the film is a tad naive, but Jurassic Park certainly sped up the process. As Ian Malcom says,”Life, uh, finds a way.” With some CG mixed with practical effects, everyone in the industry wanted a piece of that creativity, and thus really thrust the computer science of effects forward. This is what was revolutionary for them, the visionaries. Us, the audience, however, saw something altogether more exciting: another world that that would live in our hearts forever and pass along to the generations after us.

Happy Jurassic June nuggets!