Tag Archives: horror movies

10 Characters from the “Halloween” Franchise Who Definitely Deserved It

The HALLOWEEN franchise is, without a doubt, a favorite topic of discussion here on NN and if you’ve ever looked at my list of pieces whether here on this blog, or elsewhere I’ve written for the past 10 years, you’ll come to the very correct conclusion that yes, I’m a superfan and could probably write about the subject forever without repeating myself once. However, there’s one thing that hasn’t been discussed by me, or really much anywhere, and that’s a hot take on who in the entire series of films actually deserved to die in these movies. Sure, there’s been talks here and there in forums; perhaps an article by some dopey website that aren’t even catered to horror fans. So, as a superfan myself, I’m obliged to take on the task, throw my rage at the keyboard and say “FUCK THESE GUYS, THEY HAD IT COMING.”

And no, as annoying as Tina can be in HALLOWEEN 5, she didn’t make the cut.

So let’s start slashing our way into these insufferable sons of bitches.

10. Bob (HALLOWEEN 1978)

If you’re wondering why I think Bob deserved to be strung up in the Wallace’s kitchen, the guy DID joke about ripping an eight-year-old girl’s clothes off. Plus because of his death, we wouldn’t have gotten one of the coolest shots of the entire franchise right here:

9. Kelly Meeker (HALLOWEEN 4)

The Haddonfield homewrecker, Kelly Meeker, the sheriff’s daughter, is just a total bitch. When Rachel confronted this hoe about sleeping with her boyfriend Brady (another fucking hoe) Kelly basically told Rachel that it was her fault that her man looked away and decided to spend Halloween with her instead. Ugh. She had it coming when Myers cleverly used a shotgun on her without pulling the trigger. Also, thanks for the Halloween costume inspiration!

But seriously, much love to the sweetheart that is Kathleen Kinmont. Only a fantastic actress can make us hate like that.

8. Mikey (HALLOWEEN 5)

An obvious choice if there ever was one. This prick had zero redeeming qualities. The guy only cared about his car and his dick. Tina, honey. You almost made the list because of your “electric connection” to toxic men.

Al least when you were riding with Mikey 2.0, you weren’t being verbally abused.

7. Pretty Much Everyone in HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION

I’m just going to make a bold statement and say that every single person who died in HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION, had it coming and I felt not a bit of sorry for any of them-including Laurie Strode. Everybody was just so dumb – downed and straight up intolerable. Be it their lack of common sense (Laurie with her wanting to “make sure” and that cameraman who just stood there waiting for Michael to slash his ass), or the entitlement of the entire cast of the “Internet reality show”. I literally cheered for every single one of them to go down. And let’s face it- the one guy who isn’t even really an actor per se, Busta Rhymes, is the only watchable thing in this movie at all.

Shout out Horror Net for putting together this kill count for RESURRECTION.

6. John Strode (HALLOWEEN 6)

Another no brainer is the abusive piece of shit John Strode. The uncle of Laurie Strode is one we were all very happy to see go down when it fianlly happened- and the fact it was extra violent was even more bittersweet. Smacking around your wife and kids in a horror movie gets your head blown up. Those are the rules!

5. Dr. Ranbir Sartain (HALLOWEEN 2018)

The idea of an anti-Loomis running around Haddonfield is entertaining. But I think Micheal was just as tired of hearing him talk as the audience was. Totally deserved that curb stomp. We can all only hope that we possess the superhuman strength, endurance, and durability in our 60s that Michael Myers has in this movie.

4. The Coroner Paramedics (Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN 2)

As much as I despise this movie and quite frankly, think pretty much everyone in Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN flicks deserve what they get, this scene in particular in RZ’s H2 is fairly satisfying and brutal enough to win a Golden Chainsaw award in 2010. The pair of nasty jackasses “joking” about necrophilia with dead women was enough for me to give this film a shout-out when Michael did his thing. And it was a beautiful service for the rest of us.

3. Ronnie (Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN 2007)

I don’t even need to explain this one-just roll that beautiful bean footage. I do think he got off way too easy though.

2. The Entire Halloween Kills Mob That Made Lance Tivoli Commit Suicide

EVIL DIES TONIGHT. And you know what, it sort of does when this asshole mob out of pure fear, drive a man, Lance Tivoli, to his own death in a case of mistaken identity as the mob believes him to be Myers unmasked. To make it worse, the man suffered from severe mental illness. It’s a terrible tragedy to have someone who cries out for help, actively seeking medical assistance, and suffers a deathly fate for simply existing.  So yes; I’m gonna let Joker take this one for Tommy Doyle and the mob of Haddonfield:

1. Michael Myers (Halloween Ends)

If you’re shocked to see Myers at number one, you just might be a sociopath. Listen, he did humanity a couple of favors by ridding a few insufferable twats from the Earth. But he also killed a lot of innocent people too, and plenty who didn’t deserve it. Danny Trejo anyone? I think the way he died was a bit weak and sort of a cop out, but then again there’s a lot I don’t agree with HALLOWEEN ENDS, and it has nothing to do with Corey. I actually thought him being the new Myers was a cool direction to go- until they killed him and fucked up their own potential. But eh, take what we can get for now, I guess. Let’s just hope the next set of reboot films gets things right this time.

Before anyone asks me why I didn’t place Conal Cochran on here, it’s because he knows his Halloween folklore, so he gets a pass from me. I respect that kind of knowledge.

Unsung Heroes: Video Rental Shops Inside Grocery Stores

Long before Redbox, grocery chains were a formidable competitor for video and game rentals.

Many, MANY moons ago, I grew up in a quaint neighborhood where I had the privilege of having both a community center and a shopping mall about a mile away from my house. Just past the community canter and a bridge to the freeway, stood an array of stores that served my childhood basic needs, such as a McDonald’s, Naugles, Pizza Hut, Sav-On Drugs Pharmacy, the ALL IMPORTANT Mom-and-Pop video rental store Action Video, and our local Smiths grocery store-which also harbored its own video rental shop inside the store walls.

It’s another store inside a store! Cue it Mike!

Being able to grab a package of Magic Middles, some cherry coke, and a rental copy of Creepshow 2 is an experience that only 80s and 90s kids really got to live through, and I’m pretty happy I was a part of it. Although I have heard some whisperings throughout the Internet of some being active in small towns around the USA, they have mostly been lost to time and overshadowed by their big brothers of local video rental stores and the dreaded Blockbuster mass market for people looking back on video rental days with their nostalgia hats on; and I personally think they deserve a lot more respect dammit.

To be clear, I was a pretty loyal customer to Action Video, the fact that my mother worked at the deli inside Smiths sometimes made it more convenient for me rent or her to pick up and drop off my weekend requests if they were available. Plus, it never hurt that the clerk gave me free boxes of Raisinets. Also, there was something quite charming about them. They were small, quaint, and very personable. Hell, some of them even donned the ever mysterious black curtain!

It was also something to look forward to if you so happened to be dragged against your will to go grocery shopping with your parents because at least you could make that request to rent Sleepaway Camp a lot more convincing since you (or they) didn’t have to walk a few store pegs down to retrieve it; just to the front of the store by the smokey slot machines!

Don’t forget your free kid cookie card that allows you one free fresh chocolate chip cookie from the bakery on the way up there!

I also have to appreciate that if Action Video or your preferred video rental stop were out of stock of your wishlist movie or NES game, you could usually rely on ye-old tiny faithful here to at least have ONE copy of what you were wanting. Yeah, the place was like the size of my living room, (at least this one was anyway) but goddamn if they couldn’t fit at least 3,000 movies in there with their magic bred’ skills. Napoleon Dynamite would have pleased. These places did well enough mind you, but I just don’t think they had the kind of foot traffic a full sized store would have- hence the chances of your beloved rental being there even higher.

So indeed, I just wanted to take a portion of my day and salute these little video shops inside grocery chains. You made that Saturday morning food shopping trip a little more tolerable.

The Omen Legacy – A Review Of The Past and Present Horror It Invokes

Dark Powers Conspire

Religious horror hits a primal cord within us all. Even to unbelievers, there’s an unmistakable lure of curiosity that cannot be squelched by any amount of modern logic. Modernism, sincere as it may be, attempts to protect us from the arcane such as concepts locked away in frightful prophecies securely kept in musty and old esoteric libraries. Prophecies many today would prefer to leave hidden beneath a century of dust.

But can these mystifying forewarnings be sealed away forever and what dreadful truths may they reveal? The theological study of the End Times is known as eschatology and is a branch of research dedicated to deciphering the recorded warnings of cataclysmic events to come that’ll shatter reality and bring a final end to all we now know.

Denial, negligence, and good old tried-and-true blissful ignorance do precious little to expunge these dire foretellings that caused the ancients to quake upon their reading. Many people reduce them to nothing more than superstition and leave it at that. Thankfully for us all though religious horror takes such concepts and creates modern-day masterpieces to shock and sicken generations.

And so came a little movie called The Omen that rekindled the fires of Hell across the globe and audiences basked in its satanic glow. The film is subtle but brimming with evil intent as it focuses on the early beginnings of the scariest person found in New Testament literature – the Antichrist.

Christ’s satanic counterpart seemingly snuck into our world like a serpent beneath our noses and upset the establishment people were so comfortable with. Sure, Satan was no new concept in Hollywood. B-level films littered the Drive-In nearly every weekend and there’s nothing wrong with that. But people didn’t take such movies seriously. They were cheap popcorn thrillers. People watched them, screamed or jeered, and then went back home probably forgetting all about them. Satan slithered back into the shadows once the credits rolled and that was that.

The Omen on the other hand was a very different type of beast altogether. For one thing, as a project portraying the demonic, it was taken very seriously by the studio and placed into the hands of a competent filmmaker, Dick Donner, who decided to remove any overt satanic imagery. Donner’s approach was for the movie to look like a series of terrible tragedies. Imagine having the worst day of your life sort of deal.

As I stated earlier, it’s a subtle film but Darkness swells in every scene. From the moment the film opens and we follow Ambassador Thorn (brilliantly played by Gregory Peck) as he rushes to the hospital for the birth of his son to the final shot of the movie at a solemn graveside at the movie’s conclusion audiences were unexpectedly changed by something primal they had just watched.

One thing that made the movie work was the casting choices. Actors will either make or break a project and casting is vital. Originally, Charlton Heston, renowned for his portrayal of Moses in Ten Commandments and the titular role of Ben-Hur, Heston was a name that brought regality to a project. Donner wanted a serious actor for the lead role because he believed if audiences saw someone like Heston or Gregory Peck being scared on the screen it would unnerve them somehow. He was right.

Paradise Lost Satan In Council, Drawing By Gustave Dore by Gustave Dore

Unlike many hundreds of movies featuring the Devil, The Omen struck a chord and audiences were fundamentally changed thanks to it. Suddenly people were exiting movie theaters with thoughts of the End of Days possessing their thoughts like black magic. A single movie managed to do what the clergy spend a lifetime hoping to achieve – get people’s asses back in church!

What if the Antichrist was alive today but was just a little kid?

That question ignited a nightmare that became one of the most influential horror movies of the century. To the terror of many, The Omen was more than fiction but acted more as an accurate account of prophecies they saw as being fulfilled daily.

The film was the apex rising out of a perfect storm of bizarre circumstances.

For starters, Satanism became a nationally recognized religion and was accepted for its darker practices of the occult to the shock and horror of many Bible-believing Christians. For many, it was a sign of darker things to come because, for the most part, many didn’t understand the actual belief system installed by its founder Anton Lavey. Following more paranoia than facts, many religious people saw the Church of Satan as a headquarters for an invasion of Satanic entities. A portal to things that could not be sealed once opened by willing mortal hands.

Not only had Satan been given his own institution but the ‘God is dead’ movement had swelled to alarming numbers and wasn’t hard for people to accept considering how few people still attended church on a weekly basis.

Strange cults like the Manson Family were also on the rise. Cults whose members broke into homes and cut the unborn baby from its mother’s womb disgusted the nation, leaving many to wonder how such a thing could happen in a God-fearing country. Murderous cultists were just another piece in the End of Days puzzle and everyday people found it easy to believe that maybe, just maybe, some left hand of Darkness was pulling the strings.

Added to this were political scandals which led people to lose faith in their governments, adding one more fallen establishment to the fro. Not to mention the Vietnam War nearly drove the whole country entirely insane.

The church had failed and the occult was rapidly rising. The government had failed and in need of some new power to take the reigns.

The Omen was released at the perfect time during a period of unsettling turmoil and managed to terrify audiences. The film’s creators expertly merged biblical prophecies with current events, resulting in an unsettlingly perfect connection.

This created a new kind of biblical cinema that shook society to its core.

The golden era of biblical epics such as Cecil B. DeMille’s The Ten Commandments or Ben-Hur was long gone. The King of Kings was now the whisper of a bygone age and motion pictures like The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby started a new wave of supernatural excitement proving Satan’s day was at hand.

The Omen was part of this new wave of spiritual horror. Its infernal genius lies in its boldness to crack open the Holy Scriptures and bring to life the darkest aspects therein revealed. The book of Revelation was a genuine inspiration behind the material.

The result is a remarkable achievement that speaks for itself.

Adding to the dark nature of the movie’s tone is the (sin)sational score composed by Jerry Goldsmith. Goldsmith admits the inspiration came to him while at Mass. The song Ave Maria was being sung and as the words flowed across him a black idea blanketed his thoughts. “What would it sound like if they were worshipping Satan instead?” he wondered. Thus one of the most haunting film scores of all time was brought to life. 

Goldsmith took the established concept of Mass, the sacraments, the holiest act of Mass, and offered it to Satan. Sanguis bibimus – ‘The blood we drink,’ Corpus edimus – ‘The body we eat.’ Any good Catholic will associate this with the Holy Act of Communion. But this is where the ritual goes dark, Tolle corpus Satani. Ave! ‘Raise the body of Satan. Hail!’ Brilliant and covert. The song becomes a litany of Satan worship and serves as the movie’s main theme securing Goldsmith the oscar that year.

It’s one of those things where you may not have known what was going on – or why you felt uncomfortable hearing it played – but your brain surely did. 

The Omen - Publicity still of Patrick Troughton

Not to mention the infamous priest’s death (impaled upon a church spike) was based on an actual event that happened nearby where the screenwriter lived. That and many strange accidents happening to the cast and crew both on and off set while the movie was being filmed led many to speculate the production was in fact cursed by the powers of Hell that did not want their wiles and ways to be made public knowledge. 

Overall The Omen is a mystery even to this day. I grew up in a very religious home where it was forbidden to watch which only intensified its awe and wonder in my mind. What could be so horrible about this movie that preachers so profusely condemned it from behind sweaty pulpits? The fundamentalists I grew up under acted as if a world of the Satanic would be torn open upon a single viewing.

Naturally, it was on my must-see list of movies along with The Last Temptation of Christ. The movie is respectful to the biblical source material it borrows from though and, well frankly, is just a very damn good movie to watch. It has a regal class seldom spoken of. People love to talk about elevated horror as if it’s a brand new thing but I’d argue it’s a sophisticated branch of the genre that’s been with us for years. Movies like this prove it.

The Omen proved to be a box office success and became one of the most influential horror movies of all time. Its financial success allowed Fox Studios to funnel in a little more money into a little-known science fiction project being made at the time called Star Wars. I love that by the way. Damien might’ve helped save Star Wars!

It also inspired one of the most groundbreaking heavy metal records of all time, Iron Maiden’s Number of the Beast! Bruce Dickenson (lead singer) says he saw the movie and then had one of the most vivid nightmares of his life later that night. That’s pretty fucking metal.

Final Thoughts – The New Prequel

I’ll admit I mocked the idea of a prequel to The Omen. I felt it would be just another nostalgic cash grab that would suck like most others do. Then the rumors started settling in and people were praising this movie, The First Omen. Naturally curious I had to check it out for myself despite saying I’d never give it my attention. I think I said something like I’d rather tickle my dick with a cactus than go see it.

Well, I went to watch it.

You need to understand I’m not a big fan of any of The Omen sequels. So why the fuck would I care to see a prequel? Let alone sing its demonic praise unless it genuinely deserved it? So what did I think?

I unexpectedly enjoyed this movie, despite my initial skepticism.

The First Omen is a welcomed addition to the lore and adds a few new insights into the darker conspiracies behind the original movie. As far as prequels go I have to admit it’s one of the best I’ve seen. I mean I had to come home and immediately watch the original classic right away. The two line up masterfully.

So to all my friends who endured weeks of me bitching about this movie here I am humbly eating a big fat mouthful of crow. I was wrong, y’all.

So is this the start of a new franchise? Like with this movie’s success will they skip ahead and do a new retelling of Damien’s adult life as the Antichrist? I would say ‘Please God just stop!’ but I was proven wrong by a prequel so who knows? If done right and done well I’ll be in line to see it.

So if you like sophisticated horror and religious thrillers The Omen is a great watch. If you’ve not seen it yet there’s no better time than now. Make an event of it and go watch The First Omen before you do.

Manic out!