rocky movies | Nightmare Nostalgia

Over the Summer, we got the fantastic and unexpected news that Sylvester Stallone was working on a massive edit for a long-awaited director’s cut for Rocky IV. Now thanks to Sly being the master of self-promotion that he is and his official Instagram account, we now have a clear(ish) picture of what to expect in this highly anticipated fresh version of the fan favorite of the franchise.

And quite honestly some of you might get a little pissed about this.

One of the biggest bombs dropped about what to expect from this, was the elimination of Paulie’s wacky birthday gift, the robot SICO in this cut. No “Happy Birthday Paulie“. No Rocky Jr. making himself dizzy on the thing while telling his dad his head looks like a “punching mitt”.

Nope. None of that at all. While Sly hasn’t offered an explanation, the creator of the Sico Robot, Robert Doornick, shared his own recent theory with “Empire” about why Stallone has decided to cut the fan-favorite from the new edition:

“I was in my office when I found out. I was deluged with messages: ‘How can Stallone do that?’ But I know why he’s doing it, because I know he loves the robot. By causing turmoil among the fans of Sico, it generates more publicity. And by removing the robot from the movie, it saves money in royalty fees, because he is a member of the Screen Actors Guild. Sico receives cheques all the time – and of course he sends them over to me.”

Welp. I’m just a peon and no have authority to challenge the Italian Stallion on his own films. So, let’s see how this plays out. I would also assume it was also done to make room for additional footage; such as MORE DRAGO DIAOLGUE.

Oh, yeah. He’s actually going to have more than two sentences this time around. It also looks like via the IG video below that the Apollo/Drago fight might be edited as well. Whether it’s before, after, during, or hell all of the above, remains to be known.

In addition via a fan Q &A on the post, two new songs that were unused for the original film will be added to the feature; and to be perfectly honest, one can’t have too many montages in one of the greatest montage films in cinema history. So you’ll hear no complaints from me.

One final note, while this is speculation at this point and there is no confirmation, the director’s cut MAY actually get a theatrical limited release perhaps before the master cut is available to buy/stream. This is all according to Sly himself answering fan questions and quoted as saying, “I believe it’s going to be released as a feature film first.”

So hey, I guess will find out more soon!

View this post on Instagram

I love re- editing this film. I have found such fantastic moments that I overlooked many years ago. This is a blessing to go back and get another chance to make it even better! @mgm_studios @dolphlundgren #Rocky4 Directors cut.

A post shared by Sly Stallone (@officialslystallone) on Sep 29, 2020 at 9:18am PDT

As a youngling, and to this very day, Stallone’s Rocky character was and is my goddamn hero. The message of the Rocky films, and the character itself is so powerful- which is why it remains such a time-honored classic. Never give up, chase your dreams, and be the best you, you can be. A solid lesson in life any adult or child should take and run with. As a kid, I was both obsessed with these movies (I still totally am) because of the exuberant heart this franchise lays on the line.

OK, the sweet-ass montages might play a part in this as well. Warning: Watching this video may cause a sudden sprout of chest hairs.

Now, by the time Rocky IV came around in 1985, our Italian Stallion seemed to be on top of the world. He’s the undisputed champion, gained a best friend in his two-time opponent Apollo Creed, and has more money than I think he knows how to spend- I mean, the guy is buying robot slaves for people’s birthdays’. Must be nice, eh? Seems like things are exactly where they should be in Roc’s life, and seriously, nobody deserves it more than him.

But that’s how most horror movies start out, isn’t it?

An up and coming Russian boxer, Ivan Drago, invades into the US with his Olympic Gold-medalist wife, and his evil as Hell political posse looking to pick a fight with Balboa. They figure he’s the best, so why not go straight for it. However, Creed who is a bit past his prime opts to fight in an exhibition match with the silent blonde giant in what seems like the result of both a little jealousy, and the fact he needs to prove he’s still got it as a fighter.

BIG MISTAKE THERE BUDDY- IT AIN’T ALL IN THE HIPS.

The sequence we see before the actual match between Drago and Creed, scared the literal crap out of me as a kid. I mean, his silent stance and glaring eyes are intimidating enough. His character really doesn’t need any extra help to look like a goddamn murderer waiting to snap. But hey, enter composing score genius Vince DiCola, and everyone is about to shit their pants.

Then what happens? Drago KILLS Creed. Completly pulverizes this man’s face and bashes his brain in until Apollo is left twitching on the mat. All as his poor wife looks on in horror. As a kid seeing this for the first time, I just sat there and cried my damn eyeballs out. I couldn’t believe this shit. This monster, glaring into Rocky’s eyes, while wife Ludmilla (Brigitte Nielson) is sitting at her table smoking and smirking like a jerkoff, expresses zero emotion with no fucks given for what he just did. Them’s are the traits of a classic serial killer folks.

“If he dies, he dies..”

What a heartless asshole.

So of course, Rocky needs to seek his vengeance. He heads to Russia (per the terms to fight Drago), grows an epic beard, and trains like a madman to face his toughest and scariest opponent to date. While an argument can be made that Drago was controlled and treated like a lab rat by his handlers, I like to think he had some sort of control of what he was doing. Towards the end of the fight with Rocky, he clearly lets the higher powers know he IS running the show. So perhaps he’s been influenced a tad, but I really don’t think they were totally to blame here.

In actuality, we really don’t know anything about Drago or his background before his fight with Creed- expect for he was a soldier. The absence of knowing what makes him tick, his tense presence, and that spine-shivering Drago Suite makes him a scary character in the world of cinema indeed. I could even go as far to compare him to Michael Myers. Oh yes, we’re going there. Everything I just said about Drago, applies to Haddonfield’s finest maniac as well. Regarding the first Halloween film, Myers was an effective and scary as hell villain because he had no rhyme or reason, no background explanation, and John Carpenter’s chilling score made him all that much more frightening.

So yeah, as a child and fearing for the life of my beloved hero at the hands of a soulless, steroid-infused boxer was quite terrifying by any means. I’m not going to lie, hearing that DiCola theme still gives me a bit of the skeevies. So here’s to you Ivan Drago: the unnamed horror icon hiding in plain sight inside the Rocky franchise.

I swear to everything holy about Mighty Mick’s Gym if they play this theme in Creed 2 to introduce Drago once again, I’m going to have to have both all the happy and horrified heart-attacks.