All posts by Patti PaulterGeist

Owner, operator, and fuzzy retro feelers giver at NightmareNostalgia.com. Worshipper of our Lord and savior Boo Berry, Patti is a seasoned pro having written for the top horror websites and magazines over the past few years until she decided to go balls to the wall and make her own focusing on pure feel-good nostalgia. Mom to two humans and three furballs.

10 Most Rockin’ ’80s Cartoon Intros

 

If there’s anything we can remember distinctively about our favorite cartoons from our childhood, it’s most certainly the intros. The  ’80s are undeniably associated with over-the-top awesome music, bright colors, and spandex galore. So when it came to dazzling the eyes and ears of children of the era via animation, it came as no exception.

Even if it’s been 20 plus years since you’ve laid eyes on your favorite Saturday morning splendor, chances are you can totally remember that rockin’ tune that opened the portal to the castle of Greyskull or man-cats in blue spandex. I’m even willing to bet you probably catch yourself humming one of these intros every so often, like a trapped vortex of ’80s epicness spinning around in your dome. Well, if not, you’re about to for sure. And I’m not the least bit sorry about it!

I have to say it was pretty daunting ranking these magnificent ‘toon openers. The only proper way to get this task fairly done was to use the “head-bobbing method”. Basically, how hard it got my head bobbing back and forth like an idiot headed to the Roxbury.

Image result for a night at the roxbury gif

Anyways, according to the all mighty head bob, here are the 10 greatest cartoon intros of the ’80s!

 

10. Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling

Sadly, (and this is so irritating of the WWE) anytime someone uploads that glorious intro to Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling, it gets taken down pretty quick. Sometimes you’ll be lucky if you catch it. But today is not that day my lovely readers. Luckily enough this kick-ass tune is quite awesome enough to hold on its own. Now just imagine Hogan and his animated buddies hopping in the Wrestling Roadster, while being chased down by Piper and his posse. Then a live-action, fully dressed in red spandex Hogan walking the city streets fist-pumping to this fine tune. You’re welcome.

 

9. Heathcliff

He may have not been quite as popular as that other smartass orange cat, but goddamn if he didn’t have the better cartoon opener. I don’t remember one thing about this show, other than the cool alley cats. But I sure as shit can sing this tune without skipping a beat. That has to count for something.

 

8. Ducktales 

Oh man, this one hits right into the nostalgia membranes-woo-hoo! Even if you never watched this, (and who are you if you didn’t) you remember and KNOW every word to this song- woo-hoo! Shit, now I can’t stop with the woo-hoos’. Curse you McDuck!

Just kidding. We love you. Woo-hoo.  RIP Alan Young.

 

7. Transformers

Muck like with Ducktales, chances are you at least know some of the lyrics. Come on, who doesn’t recognize, “Robots in disguise“? You’d seriously have to have been living in Gollum’s cave of riddles to not know at least that part. Plus, it’s basically robots fighting each other. What’s not to love here?

 

6. Alvin and the Chipmunks

It was inevitable a show centered around a trio of singing chipmunks that parody Michael Jackson songs were going to end up on this list. I mean, if the intro theme can’t suck us into a show of that nature, you’re kind of screwed. Love or hate the talking tree rodents, that tune is undeniably catchy.

5. Thundercats

HOOOOOOOOO!!!!

This intro gives you ZERO explanation of what this show is about. But the flashing lights, super ’80s-ish music, and all the energetic ass-kicking sucked you in anyway. When you heard this as a kid, you got damn excited to plop a squat on that oversized bean-bag chair and watch this badassery with a big bowl of cereal. And then maybe whack your little brother over the head with your plastic sword in the midst of all the excitement.

 

 

4. The Real Ghostbusters

Well of course, the more animated theme of  Ray Parker Jr’s smash hit from the 1984 blockbuster of the same name, was going to be included. Hell, even Rowan is getting down on this rockin’ classic intro to, quite frankly, one of the most badass cartoons to ever grace the screen on Saturday Morning.

 

3. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

The most powerful man in the universe also had one of the most powerful (and fuckin’ spectacular) intro themes in cartoon history. Much like with Thundercats, the opener is bright, flashy, and raging with testosterone; making you want to just sit the hell down and satisfy your senses with Skeletor mercilessly ripping into the He-Fool with epic insults. Face it guys- the Bone Daddy of Eternia was the real star here.

 Image result for skeletor laughing

 

2. Jem and the Holograms

There could be an argumentive debate on which Jem intro is superior- the other I’m referring to is the Barbie-like “Jem Girl” theme. However, the fact that The Misfits don’t get a little solo bit in the latter, automatically makes it the weaker version in my own humble opinion. Also, this may be another unpopular opinion on my side, but while Jem and her friends are truly outrageous in their own right, The Misfits had the better songs, period. I can only imagine what kind of rad as hell intro could have been with Pizzazz at the helm. Oh Hell, just bring them back and give them their own show already.

 

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I think it might be fair to say that the Ninja Turtles not only reign as High King for cartoon intros but quite possibly the animated era of the ’80s altogether. When poor He-Man fell from grace (that atrocious 1987 film may have been the final nail in the coffin), four smart-ass teenage kung-fu mutants took the crown as THEE most popular show for both boys and girls for the remainder of the decade. The exciting in-your-face opener is just the greasy pepperoni on top of a delicious pizza with a load of glorious ’80s cheese (but not too much) and a perfect solid dough underneath, Making this not only the most kick-ass intro to really get you excited for an episode but one of the greatest cartoons of the decade as well.

Great, now I just made myself hungry. Now if you’ll excuse me I have tomato bread to consume.

Image result for teenage mutant ninja turtles pizza gif

What’s your favorite animated ’80s intro? Stay tuned as we dive into righteous ’90s next week!

 

 

[Video] When Matthew McConaughey Made His Shirtless Debut on ‘Unsolved Mysteries’

Chances are if you’re over 30, you damn well know Unsolved Mysteries was the greatest and most terrifying thing you saw on prime-time TV. The weekly program about unexplained phenomena, strange murders, and sometimes featuring a beautifully grainy image of Bigfoot, did a fantastic job of making me think escaped murderers were lurking in my backyard late at night.

I fondly remember being the ripe ole age of five, when my stunning Nan (Grandmother) introduced me to that horrifying theme song followed by Robert Stack and his haunting tales of true terror and persuasive speculation on mysterious legends. We had just sat down in the living area after becoming near comatose after a heavy meal of pasta and meatballs. My dear sweet Nana ruled her house with a wooden spoon, usually dripping with tomato sauce. Even if it was against our will, we were going to sit down, shut the hell up, and witness the glorious splendor of Sir Stack grace that obnoxiously humongous floor television set. Although some of the programming most certainly gave me the skeevies at a young age and resulted in a few sleepless nights, over time it became one of my go-to series’ as a kid and into young adulthood.

Thank you Robert Stack for the countless night terrors.

unsolved-mysteries

So now that you know about thine fondness for the Stack and the eerie show, I really couldn’t be more excited that the show is now FINALLY able to stream on Amazon for Prime members. So it goes without saying, I haven’t had much of a social life since the Stack episodes hit streaming. Given the program’s absence from streaming sites as long as these services have been available, watching Unsolved Mysteries now is like watching it for the first time. Minus a few fuzzy memories here and there when certain memorable clips arise from episodes. The music will send shivers down your spine, and the stunning reenactments paired with an abundance of ’80s mullet will give all the warm fuzzy feelers.

While I must confess the acting wasn’t always that stellar, did you know that a certain Oscar-winning actor made his screen debut on the series? The righteous Matthew McConaughey stepped on-screen for the first time in 1992 on the creepy crime program.

Alright, alright, alriiiiiiight.

McConaughey appeared as a murder victim in season five, episode twelve of the series portraying 26-year-old Larry Dickens- who was brutally murdered in front of his mother’s home back in 1978. Courtesy of  IMDB, watch the full video at the link below! Enjoy!

Matthew McCaughey Unsolved Mysteries

“Chokeslam” Starring Mick Foley Coming To Blu-Ray This February

If you’re a fan of Nacho Libre, Ready to Rumble, or the Netflix hit series Glow, you’re not going to want to miss this.

The mankind, the myth, the legend is bodyslamming his way to home video later this month along with an all-star cast in Chokeslam. An official selection of the World Film Festival – San Francisco and the Calgary International Film Festival, the comedy film centered around the glorious sport with a love story underneath, stars WWE Superstar Mick Foley, Chris Marquette (Fanboys, The Girls Next Door), Amada Crew (HBO’s Silicon Valley, The Age of Adaline), Michael Eklind (Watchmen), and Niall Matter (The Predator).

 

chokeslam 1

SYNOPSIS Per the Press Release:

Corey (Chris Marquette), still lives in his mom’s basement with same job slicing meat in a tiny deli for over a decade, a sad and lonely figure. His life shut down after hastily proposing marriage to his best friend Sheena (Amanda Crew) in front of their entire high school only to have her turn him down. 

A humiliated Corey wanted Sheena to stay in their small town but she was going on to much bigger things. Ten years later, Sheena, now a world-renowned professional wrestler, famous for her legendary temper in and out of the ring, has come back home for her and Corey’s high school reunion and Corey cannot help himself, immediately falling for Sheena all over again. But professional wrestling has not been kind to Sheena. She’s changed. She’s hostile and burnt-out from years on the road and has announced her retirement. 

To win back over her heart, Corey plans a retirement benefit match for Sheena but what Corey never envisioned is that the match lures talent scouts to watch her wrestle and the scouts are so impressed that they are going to fly in the big boss to see Sheena wrestle. If he’s as dazzled as they are, he’ll offer Sheena an exclusive five-year wrestling contract, only it is to wrestle in Japan. Corey feels like he’s been scissor-kicked in the stomach. The very event intended to rekindle Sheena’s love for wrestling, and hopefully her love of him, now threatens to take her away from him forever…Love is hard to pin down.

 

The film is a product of Executive Producers Trevor Wilson (Forsaken) and Mark Gringras (Jigsaw Colossal), and is available for pre-order at the MVD Shop. Chokeslam will be released February, 27th 2018.