Kids today, with their Snapchats and Discords, could never fathom kids of the 80s and 90s calling a 900 hotline just so they could interact with their favorite horror icon. I’m also willing to bet they would never think that these phone calls caused us a swift ass-kickin’ in most cases when the phone bill came in- but unlike today, we had an entire month to plan our escape if needed until that paper bill came in the mail.
The horror hotline and basic 900 number dared young millennials to dial between your favorite programming, specifically aiming at kids that, as mentioned above, could cost you your left nut. But goddamn was it exhilarating. It sure as hell gave you a sense of living dangerously, and no doubt a few strands of pectoral hair sprouted on your chest when you ate the forbidden fruit if you actually mustered up the courage to call the “$2.99 a minute and $0.99 for each additional minute” numbers. And with the peak of Freddy Mania in the late 80s, it was only natural for the world’s most notable homicidal insomniac to cash in on some poor kid’s wallet and the excitement of actually talking to Freddy over the phone!
After the release of DREAM WARRIORS, the 1-900-660-FRED was launched, and soon after, alongside DREAM MASTER and the syndicated FREDDY’S NIGHTMARES, the more infamous 1-900-909-FRED, with 1-900-860-4-FRED following after in the early 90s, which included the infamous sweepstakes contest to win a walk-on role for at the time, was just titled as “Nightmare 6“.
If your memory is as shitty as mine, you probably don’t remember much if you were one of those brave souls who called those numbers, but lucky for the blessed internet, YOUTUBE Channel Movie and Video Game TV Spots has uploaded the entire original collection of Springwood stories you heard on the other end of the line. Shoutout to the buddy, HERE LIES for sending me the video!
When you called, Freddy greeted you with a prerecorded message, then we got some fuckwad resident of Springwood talking about some weird tale or another that occurred in Freddy’s hometown. Finishing up with Freddy, urging you to go behind your parents’ backs some more and call again tomorrow. Which was way more terrifying than any story Freddy could come up with.
It was a sunny Spring Saturday in April 1993. I was eleven years old and had my weekend routine of riding my bike a mile up to my local shopping center near my home, where my friends and I would peruse Osco Drugs for some snacks and the latest in MAD and FANGORIA magazines along with the ever essential stop next door to our mom and pop video shop, ACTION VIDEO to grab our weekend flicks and video games for rental. After purchasing some leftover Easter candy on sale, we headed to the video store, and as soon as we walked in the door, there was a giant standee VHS cutout of a new release that immediately intrigued us: LEPRECHAUN FROM VIDMARK NOW ON HOME VIDEO.
Fantastical horror was and still is my jam, so of course I right away grabbed a copy knowing full well this was going to be glorious cheese- and it did not disappoint.
SYNOPSIS:
Dan O’Grady (Shay Duffin) steals 100 gold coins from a leprechaun (Warwick Davis) while on vacation in Ireland. The leprechaun follows him home, but Dan locks the murderous midget in a crate, held at bay by a four-leaf clover. Ten years later, J.D. Redding (John Sanderford) and his daughter, Tory (Jennifer Aniston), rent O’Grady’s property for the summer. When their new neighbors accidentally release the leprechaun, he goes on a murderous rampage to reclaim his gold.
If you haven’t seen this movie yet, and what the hell if you haven’t, everyone going into this should know it’s a B-grade cheese show. They didn’t even attempt to make it sound like serious horror back when they were producing it. There are zero reasons anyone should not know the Leprechaun franchise is basically one long-running joke. I’m pretty convinced that as the series went on with sequels, they were just trying to figure out how Looney Tunes they could get with the concept.
But it’s a classic. It was the beginning of a broader movement among writers and directors to have more fun with the concept of horror. The industry was finally beginning to come around to the idea that bad could mean good. All the major franchises jumped on the concept, and that brought us some of the best horror movies I can think of. And let’s face facts: Warwick Davis, a serious theatrical actor, gave an A-grade performance as a homicidal mythological maniac. Props to that guy.
That’s what makes the magic, though. It’s video store gold that you found at the end of the Rainbow Room, behind the Family titles and before you hit the black curtain point of the shop that is about a three-foot-tall, shoe-shining, homicidal sprite, in a green tuxedo. That should have tipped you off to what you were about to get.
It’s one of those movies we rented to watch and riff on with your friends. Which gives it a really special memory in my old nostalgic bank there. The movie is silly, not even remotely scary, hammier than an Italian smokehouse, and carries the plot of something you might expect out of a Full Moon picture. Which I personally love, so that is in no way a complaint here, and the movie can be summed up in the big one-liner delivered by the child actor at the end:
Yet another beautiful video store discovery that has become an annual tradition for St. Patrick’s Day, and then sometimes Leprechaun 3 when I feel a little saucy.
It was December 20th, 1996, and a couple of friends and I carpooled to our local movie theater. You know, the kind of theater you don’t see these days anymore, with the brick wall lining on the interior and movie titles proudly displayed on a marquee. Excitement was abound in our group as we were headed for a double feature of two highly anticipated movies of the holiday season: Beavis and Butthead Do America, and Wes Craven’s SCREAM, as they were simultaneously released on the same day. So we figured a little brainless comedy paired with a new horror movie was the best way to kick off our Christmas break.
As a matter of fact, this is the exact theater, thanks to cinematreasures.org for posting these pics that are making me ooze nostalgia from every orifice in my body.
After almost puking from laughing with Beavis and Butthead, it was horror’s turn as we shuffled into the theater room next door for SCREAM; and it was an experience much different than the aforementioned. One that only a horror fan would understand. It was goddamn glorious.
Spanning over 30 years, Wes Craven’s Scream has slashed its way into the hearts of horror fans, becoming a beloved franchise entry into the Kingdom of Horror Legends. Spawning now four sequels, with SCREAM 7 being released this week, I figured what better time to go back to the original that was heavily influenced by the prior 20 years of phenomenal horror films, of which many are referenced in Scream itself.
Obviously, I had to go back and rewatch the original so as not to miss any references here, but it’s possible I did anyway- and if so, make sure to comment down below what my dumb-ass didn’t catch the first few 100 times.
HALLOWEEN
It goes without saying that John Carpenter’s Halloween is pretty much the gold standard for slasher films, and here is no exception, as not only is the movie used as a set-up for one of horror hero Randy’s rants, but mentioned several times throughout the film as well.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
Is that the one where the guy had knives for fingers?I liked that movie. It was scary– Ghostface Yeah, the first one was, but the rest sucked. – Casey
I would have felt bad for Casey had she not made that statement. Did she not ever seeDream Warriors or The Dream Master? Pfft…
CARRIE
“Corn syrup. Same thing they used for pig’s blood in Carrie.”- Billy
I appreciate that kind of attention to detail when planning the crime scene.
PSYCHO
“We all go a little crazy sometimes–Anthony Perkins, Psycho.” – Billy
And umm, yeah he certainly did.
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS
1996’s SCREAM did a fantastic recreation of the 1979 horror, where the movie’s babysitter is tormented by a mysterious caller until she discovers the calls are coming from inside the house. In all fairness, it’s also an old urban legend, but one that never loses its edge.
FRIDAY THE 13TH
“Name the killer in Friday the 13th?” -Ghostface
I’d say that was a dirty trick, but for anyone who knows better, it really isn’t. Sorry, Casey.
THE EXORCIST
“I was home watching television. The Exorcist was on. It got me thinking of you.” – Billy
Now if that ain’t a red flag that your boyfriend ain’t right in the head, I don’t know what is.
THE HOWLING
“What’s that werewolf movie with E.T.’s mom in it?”– Random Video Store Customer
Even though Randy gave the wrong title, it’s still a fun little Easter egg.
PROM NIGHT
“If they’d watch ‘Prom Night,’ they’d save time!” – Randy
Seriously, always listen to the horror movie nerd in a real-life murder scenario, OK?
Added Jamie Lee Splendor; THE FOG/ TERROR TRAIN
“‘The Fog,’ ‘Terror Train,’ ‘Prom Night’… How come Jamie Lee Curtis is in all of these movies?”– Sydney
Because, like Randy answers, “She’s the Scream Queen.” The end.
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
“What’s Leatherface doing here?” – Randy
Once again, Randy wasn’t too far off on this one.
I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE
“Cute. What movie is this from, ‘I Spit on Your Garage’?” – Tatum
You wish, Tatum. Unfortunately, you won’t get revenge like in the referenced film.
THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN
“Look at this place. It’s the town that dreaded sundown.” -Sydney
I really love that reference more than almost anything on this list. Perfect placement.
THE BAD SEED
I’m afraid I’ll turn out just like her—the Bad Seed or something.” – Sydney
A fear we all have as teenagers, Syd.
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
It’s like Jodie Foster in ‘Silence of the Lambs’ when she keeps having flashbacks of her dead father.”– Billy
Ironically, a sociopath manipulating his female counterpart is something Billy and Hannibal have in common.
CANDYMAN
Oh, you mean after you branded him the Candyman? No, his heart’s broken.” -Stu
Good. Fuck you, Billy.
FRANKENSTEIN
One of the oldest horror films in the genre, and respectively, the one that paved the way for so many on this list, Frankenstein can be seen playing at Randy’s video rental workplace in the background.
Welp, I think that about covers it. And in case you need a refresher on how to survive a horror movie, listen to wise Randy here. No one else did and all this bullshit could have been avoided had they done so. We salute you, Randy.
