No one knows the pleasure (and pain in the right ass) of games better than Pinhead and the Cenobites, and thanks to my buddy Eddie Spughetti over at HERE LIES, he, and with a little bit of consulting from yours truly, have brought the long-lost Hellraiser Nintendo game back to life by opening the Lament Configuration with our love and passion for 80s and early 90s horror hotlines and a mock video featuring the game!
The cancelled HELLRAISER NES game was being developed by a company called Color Dreams in 1990, which had a reputation for creating unlicensed Nintendo games on the NES- all of which were also notorious for their poor quality. So much so, you may not have even heard of titles like “Baby Boomer” and “The Adventures of Captain Comic“.
The game itself was to be an updated version of the Wolfenstein 3D engine, played from a first-person viewpoint. You play an (unknown) character stuck inside the Lament Configuration, with the main focus being for you to solve the box and escape with the bonus ability to manipulate the inside of the puzzle box. The catch is, solving the box would not only free you but also the Cenobites inside it. That being said, upon freeing yourself, you’d then have to solve it again in another riddle from Hell fashion to trap the Cenobites back inside and win the game.
Ambitious? Yes. So much so that the developers realised that the NES system could not handle the RAM of the super Wolfenstein 3D engine without having to create some sort of super cartridge, which would cost a fortune, and the main reason, according to game nerd lore, that Hellraiser was just shelved permanently. But not before Color Dreams pre-ejaculated a bunch of ads in Game Pro for the game, giving us fans forever blue balls.
Balls so blue that Pinhead would revel in the pleasure of my pain.
Anyways, we’ve been denied in what could have been one of the coolest horror games for Nintendo, although with Color Dreams rep that might be a stretch, but at least we can use that thing we call an imagination and NOT AI to put together something of what we think might have been in the era of marketing to gamers in the early 90s.
Video editor and VHS Wizard Master Eddie Spuhghetti used the only available image of what was the title screen of the long-lost HELLRASIER game, a created soundtrack for the game available on SoundCloud, some clips from the films, and a little bit of voice magic to make the game come to life in this mock horror hotline sweepstakes commercial that feels as real as it is glorious.
Love it or hate it, to deny that THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT made a monumental impact on horror films, indie films, and pop culture as a whole in the ’90s and beyond, would just be someone blowing a big fat bag of hot air into a bullshit fantasy cloud of delusion; and I think that’s me being rather gentle on the subject. Up until that fateful Summer of 1999, the “found footage” genre specter of the horror films sector was rather slim, only boasting a handful of films. One of the most famous ones being, of course, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (1980) and the sleeper video store hit THE McPHERSON TAPE (1989). Technically, if you want to count in PEEPING TOM(1960), which has some elements of found footage, then you could call it the first in its class. So while Blair Witch wasn’t the first to break the mold, they were the first to be wildly successful with it, and that brought along a string of found footage horror films to follow in an attempt to replicate the insane amount of fascination and ultimately, studio success, that Haxan Films gave the world in the Summer of 1999. Movies like REC, PARANORMALACTIVITY, and CLOVERFIELD all have their place at the table. But the throne belongs to Elly Kedward- The Blair Witch, and this is her story.
THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was the brainchild of writers and directors Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez and followed three filmmaking students Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, and Joshua Leonard into the Black Hills of Burkittsville, Maryland, to make a documentary about the local legend of the Blair Witch. However, that local “legend” turned out to be all too real for them, and what ensued throughout the movie was nothing but pure anxiety and terror as we watched these college students slowly slip into a bottomless pit of pure fear. You could FEEL their emotions, and let’s face it: Heather’s “snotty” performance is memorable as hell. Even if you’ve never watched the film, (what the hell is wrong with you) when you see this picture, you know exactly what it’s from.
However, it was the hype leading up to this movie that really got us all to go see it. Before social media, word of mouth was the way to get the word out and a whisper campaign began of this secret website that had more information about this curious “documentary-style film” that was coming in the Summer of 1999. These innovators concocted a site dedicated to the lore of the Blair Witch and the missing students along with what we know as now, faux news footage, interviews, and a timeline of events leading up to their disappearance along with the discovery of their footage. Full stop, I spent hours on this thing going over details before AND after seeing the movie. For those curious, yes the website is still active thanks to the Internet archive!
The website packed us with information about the mysterious vanishings of these college kids along with an entire backstory on the haunting events of the area over the last hundred years. With the core of the legend is the story of Elly Kedward, a Blair resident accused of witchcraft in 1785 and sentenced to death in the woods by exposure to harsh conditions. The following year, all those who accused her and half the town’s children vanished without a trace, making way for the curse and the legend of the Blair Witch, with the townspeople leaving Blair and vowing to never mention Kedward’s name again.
The town was rediscovered in 1824 and renamed Burkittsville, and the following year, a ten-year-old girl named Eileen Treacle drowned in the shallow water of Tappy East Creek, with eleven eyewitnesses claiming that a ghostly white hand reached out of the water and pulled her in. Eileen’s body was never recovered.
In 1886, Eight-year-old Robin Weaver is reported missing, and the townspeople gather in a search for her. Although Weaver returns, one of the search parties does not. The young girl babbled about seeing “an old woman whose feet never touched the ground.” The men from the search party were found weeks later at Coffin Rock, tied together at the arms and legs and completely disemboweled.
Between November 1940 and May 1941 were the last of the haunting events for the next 50 years in Burketsville when during that time, seven children were abducted from the township and were found in the cellar of one, Rustin Parr. Parr, an old hermit, confessed to luring the kids into a cellar of an old house in the woods on the orders of an “old woman ghost”, and disemboweling them. He was then hung for the murders.
I just love all the goddamn dedication and little details that have been made throughout the years to keep this legend going.
Made with a budget of only $60,000, the film premiered at Sundance in 1999. Just hours after the midnight screening, the two young directors sold the film to Artisan Entertainment for $1.1 million. However, the “project” itself was actually years in the making. Sanchez and Myrick first came up for the concept as film students in 1991, and it wasn’t until 1996 that they had the means to actually begin realizing their vision. A call was sent out to find actors who not only fit the roles but could also be quick to improvise, as most of the dialogue was to be that way.
After almost a year of casting calls and auditions, the three were finally chosen and filming began in late October 1997; with the actors manning the cameras themselves for believable effect. The shoot took eight days and was a 24/7 operation. Using a GPS, the actors were directed to locations marked with flags or milk crates, where they’d leave their footage and pick up food and directing notes. According to an interview Myrick did with The Guardian about the notes:
“These would say things like: “Heather, you’re absolutely sure that to get out of this mess you go south. Don’t take no for an answer.” Or: “Josh, somewhere along the way today, you’ve had it with this bullshit.” They had the freedom to decide how to play it: we only intervened if we felt they needed to tone things down. Then there were the “gags” we’d pull at night that they had to react to – like hearing the children’s voices, or feeling the tent being shaken.“
To be frank, that tent scene with the kids’ voices in the background is, to this day, one of the most downright creepiest things in any horror movie. BRAVO because I almost peed my pants here upon my first time viewing it in a dark theater.
Myself and seven other close friends went opening weekend to a little hole-in-the-wall movie theater. I was seventeen at the time and what we witnessed was something otherwordly- especially my buddy Corey who couldn’t handle the camera shakes and ended up puking in his popcorn bucket. When we left the theater, we talked about the movie for at least two days. Did what we see really happen? Also, listen: It was 1999. The World Wide Web was barely six years old. Google wasn’t even a year old yet. You couldn’t just go online and discern anything about this movie or the actors with a ten-minute search. We were pretty sure we hadn’t just watched a snuff film, but information moved a lot slower and the studio was fantastic at keeping the actors hidden and unknown. If you saw it in the first week or so, there was no way to be absolutely sure. It was the first we’d seen of its kind and was a total mindfuck.
It wasn’t until the three actors appeared at the MTV Video Music Awards a few months later that I realized we were actually conned because these bastards showed up as presenters. I felt so damn betrayed, and angry, yet so enthralled that a movie had gone to such lengths to blur the lines between real and diction for horror fans. Not since CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, or after this, has a film shown that much dedication to the art of mystery.
I mean, unless you’re presenting an award to the Backstreet Boys, am I right? Looking back, if my angsty teenage self paid more attention to things like Access Hollywood and Jay Leno rather than Headbanger’s Ball, I probably would have known sooner.
Me, feeling sheepish.
For me, what makes The Blair Witch exceptional is the improvised acting. Because there was no script really, the conversations were natural and real. The actors themselves seemed like “normal, everyday people.” The character tropes of the douchebag, the slut, and the girl next door were never there. They all had their charms, their quirks, and their flaws with no apologies. Well, except for Mikey kicking that damn map in the river; that was kind of a douchebag move. Because of the internet and social media, nothing will probably happen like the Blair Witch Project ever again. They had almost everyone fooled it was real. On top ofthat, they made a fantastic horror film with a few people and a $700 camera.
So here’s to 25 years of one of the greatest horror flicks to come out of the 90s, and an impactful film you’ll never soon forget. And if you do, go stare at a brick wall in a basement until you remember.
The year was 1990. The Hubble Space Telescope sent down its first images from space to NASA. The number one TV show was Cheers, and girl you know it’s true how embarrassed Pop duo Milli Vanilli must have felt that year.
But, arguably one of the most important events to streamline and set the tone for horror in the ’90s, was quite possibly the legendary Tim Curry slapping on a red nose; inducing a mighty fear of clowns into TV audiences everywhere for the unforeseeable future. Thanks Tim!
Beyond the television terrors of Derry, 1990 was a pretty fantastic year for horror. Tasking myself with dwindling down the list down to, what I think, are the ten best, was slightly anxiety inducing. However, I’m pretty satisfied with the results and the lineage of order. Also, if we’re gonna celebrate anything in 2020, it might as well be things from the past that live on to keep us from losing our minds!
Can we at least agree on that?
So let’s get to it! I’ve also included handy Amazon links with the best deals I could find for said features if you feel inspired by this list to add to your horror collection! Also, I won’t bore you with an in-depth analysis of each film. I feel like most of you have seen or at least know the plots of these gems- and if you haven’t FOR SHAME and click the title links to remedy that immediately.
What do you get when you cross Hulk Hogan, a Grandpa Munster impersonator, and genetic splicer lab run by Christopher Lee? Why, Gremlins 2 of course! I fondly remember seeing this in theaters when I was about eight and I got to tell you, watching the Hulkster threaten the Gremsters with a 24 inch python beating was probably the highlight of my year and deserving of a top-ten slot.
Being as how this Puppet Master installment in particular is my favorite of the franchise, I couldn’t leave it off the list! The puppets return with a very aggressive physical form of Toulon in hopes to resurrect their old puppet party days; along with a few new tricks. A new group is at castle at the puppets’ disposal to slice and dice, but it was those damn “human” puppets that gave me nightmares for weeks on end!
Fun fact: Puppet Master II is playing in the Toyland Warehouse security office in Demonic Toys.
If you weren’t afraid of spiders before the “Roseanne” era John Goodman thriller, I’ll take a million dollar bet that Arachnophobia induced that anxiety in you. Pretty impressive as this IS the first film distributed by the Walt Disney Hollywood Studios label. Way to set the bar there Mickey.
Quite possibly the greatest horror anthology since Creepshow, the Tales From the Darkside feature presentation-as well as the series– is the perfect love-child for fans of the Romero-King collaboration and the unforgettable Tales From the Crypt with a star-studded cast to boot. Steve Buscemi, Christian Slater, Debbie Harry, and a young Matthew Lawrence who serves as the stories’ introduction opposite Blondie’s Harry. We got a homicidal mummy, an even more homicidal (adorable) cat, and one fucked up gargoyle tale of love and betrayal. Need I say any more?
As wild and bewildering as it is, there’s a lot to love about a pen-written Clive Barker film about a mental patient who believes he is a serial killer by none other than, David Cronenberg. The group in the film dubbed the Nightbreed, may look wonky and in movie-terms, scary. But are actually the misfits. The outcasts. And the dreamers. A lot of things I whole-heartedly believe many horror fans can relate to. Love it or hate it- it has a place in my heart.
Ok first off: YES. I know Ghost isn’t a traditional horror film like the others listed here. However, my motto has and alsways been- “If it scares you, it’s a damn horror movie.” And I’m sticking to that. Those demon ink-blobs scared the literal piss out of me when I was a kid therefore this masterpiece gets a slot here.
Ghost has just about everything the average cinema-goer could want in a film. Also could be why it was undoubtedly one of the most popular films of that year. Love, betrayal, drama, thrills, a little comedy, and a cool cat that sees ghosts. Ok, he has a small part but it’s still one of my favorite little quirks about the movie.
The sequel to the Mancini/Holland endeavor is every bit as great as the original with Chucky really coming into his own in 1990. Sure, the Chuck had some memorable one-liners from the first film. But in the sequel, the pavement has been laid for Chucky’s homicidal yet humorous personality with a dozen or so “you can’t help but laugh” lines and actions that just makes this one so great. Worth mentioning is the opening title sequence of the burnt remains of his body being pieced back together like a fucked up Frankenstein.
BEEP BEEP! I can fondly remember watching the 2 part-miniseries that premiered on the ABC network in November of 1990. I was eight-years-old and by God, as a young brooding horror nerd, this was absolutely thrilling for me to see something so terrifying being aired on a family-friendly network! As with above’s Arachnophobia, the rise of coulrophobia went full steam ahead with audiences everywhere and I hold the magnificent Tim Curry fully responsible for his genius performance as Pennywise for inducing clown-related panic attacks for years down the line.
Humorously enough, it was during the mini-series premiere of IT where I caught my first glimpse of that cockadoody nurse Annie Wilkes and the theatrical trailer for Misery during a commercial break. The strong, and ankle-anxiety inducing story from Stephen King for me, is perfectly represented on screen with Kathy Bates. Bates IS Annie and delivers a performance that can be compared to Hopkins’ Hannibal Lector one year later. You love to hate her. That’s not an easy feat for any character.
And now that you’ve exorcised my invitation to the top ten dance, here we are at the very greatest film of 1990- THE EXORCIST III. The film, adapted from William Peter Blatty’s “Legion”, is about as aesthetically pleasing being the first person to walk on fresh snow in the morning hours. Incidentally, it’s also intellectually the one true, and finest sequel to The Exorcist. Brad Dourif (his second appearance on this list-BRAVO), clocks into his One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest days to remind us that he’s a lot more than just the voice of a killer doll for horror fans. The man is an ACTOR. And one of the damn finest alongside George C. Scott who serves as his opposite making way for a beautiful on-screen performance that compliment each other wonderfullly.
Not to mention it has THEE greatest jump scares to this day of any horror film. EVER. And since it hold’s the number one spot, let me endulge you with you possibly shitting your pants one more time with the headless nun!
