Let’s Rank Every Fight From “Mortal Kombat” 1995!

Alright my nostalgic nuggets, you’ve forced my hand here. Ok, not really I actually get a real sick pleasure out of writing this stuff up. However, my most recent piece on Scorpion and Sub-Zero’s epic entrance in the 1995 Mortal Kombat film, and it being pretty much the greatest goddamn thing in the universe, really threw up a few interesting discussions in the ring about the film. One, in particular, the best fight from the movie.

Without a doubt, the fights in the film are absolutely the best parts of the movie, (with of course the exception of the previous article). It’s MORTAL KOMBAT! The fights are what it’s all about! While some are fantastic on their own, a few left us with an undesirable mountain of wtf and was ultimately- a little disappointing. I really hate having to write that, but a few of our beloved characters really got the garbage shaft in this movie. So as great as this live-action adaptation is, let’s hope the 2021 film brings some of our guys some deserved justice.

And to be perfectly honest, I have no doubts that they will.

Anyways, I’m all about using my worthless opinion to rank stuff- so let’s do this! From Worst to Best, because I like save the best for last-

8. Liu Kang VS Kitana

I don’t even know what to say about this other than this is some lame bullshit. Kitana has always been one of my personal favorites to play with because if you got those moves down to memory, you can really beat some serious ass with her. I get the story doesn’t want them to fight it out and blah, blah, blah… However, this was just terrible. And only serves the purpose in her blabbing on how to defeat Sub Zero. Which is another huge pile of horseshit, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

7.Liu Kang VS Nub

PANTHER GROWL! Hey, not one, but two! For this to be the official kickoff to the Earthrealm’s ultimate fate via dudes kicking the shit out of each other, it’s just… OK. Nub isn’t up to par getting defeated with a double dropkick. But, he real winner here is Liu Kang’s glorious locks. Oh, and it’s pretty awesome seeing Shang Tsung collect his soul.

6. Liu Kang VS Sub-Zero

Goddamnit this is a fight that when we knew it was gonna happen, we were like, “THE SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!” and then… massive disappointment. As an important character in the MK universe, Sub-Zero really got fucked here theatrically. Our boy came down the steps quite confidentially, and the fight scene itself is nothing to gush over. The gymnastics are cool? But this is Mortal Kombat! And for Sub Zero to get taken out so quickly by a bucket of water was just, lame. Ok, Liu Kang is the chosen one and all but COME ON. Ugh.

5. Sonya Blade VS Kano

That Veronica Vaughn, erm I mean, Sonya Blade really kicked the shit out of Kano, literally. Taking time restraints into consideration, this fight is again, ok. But it’s not one I’m truly upset about. It would have been nice to see Kano use his laser eye, but alas, Sonya’s thighs got the better of him. And ultimately, FOOTALITY!

4. Liu Kang VS Shang Tsung

Here we are, a man with presumably a thousand souls getting taken out by a man with, let me count real quick, one without breaking much of a sweat. Albeit the matter of the sorcerer summoning other fighters in lieu of him fighting half the time and myself personally desiring a little more from the fighting performance, both Robin Shou and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa embody and ARE those characters without a doubt. This is what perfect casting looks like ladies and gentlemen. Also, the MK Immortals techno beat that drops when they throw hands, and ending it with Liu Kang’s signature fireball fist is redeemable enough for me.

3. Johnny Cage VS Goro

This fight ranks so high for three reasons:

  • “Those were $500 sunglasses asshole!”
  • The dick punch
  • The enthusiastic Goro Groupies ‘brah

Ok, now we’re getting into the REAL good shit. You know, the type of fight scenes that had us jumping out of seats, dropkicking popcorn all over the theater patrons in front of us. Mr. Special Effects Goro was a glorious spectacle reminiscent of 80s fantasy films such as The Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. It was slightly clumsy at times with the mouth piece not syncing up when Goro spoke at times, but mad props anyway because as a 13-year-old seeing this for the first time- who literally gave a shit?

2. Johnny Cage VS Scorpion

Now it’s time to start dropping the heavy beats!

The first time Scorpion yelled, “GET OVER HERE!”, as a kid in the theater I just went WILD! It was about to go down with one of my all-time favorite fighters and this scene DID NOT disappoint. Well except for maybe how Scorpion was taken out but the fatality/friendship crossover end to the match really boosted this into one of the coolest things ever. And that stands even now to this day. I’m of the opinion Scorpion won this fight up to the end. I mean he must have kicked the shit out of Cage at least 30 times in this short fight. But I guess, Cage had to make it to the end only to be killed within the first two minutes of the sequel.

  1. Liu Kang VS Reptile

I’m gonna tell you something right now: If you don’t think this wasn’t the most epic battle of the film, I’m very sorry for how wrong you are. No one saw this coming and when that little monster slithered into the statue and the narrator of a film that doesn’t even HAVE a narrator simply states, “REPTILE” and then the beat drops with an all out ass-whooping, everyone in that theater back in 1995 lost their ever-loving minds.

Fun fact, this scene was actually filmed after the movie was already finished and ready to go, but the studios felt like there wasn’t enough “kombat” in the film, so they added this national treasure. Also, according to Robin Shou, the kick that lands Liu on the edge of a pillar ledge where he falls off, was shot ten times with the last and final shot being used in the film was that of him busting a few ribs from that land.

OUCH.

Now what do you guys think? What’s your favorite fight in the movie? Or if you need to revisit, Amazon has a great deal on the Blu-Ray for under $5.00!! Which you can get here.

Now let’s get toasty and talk some kombat!

‘Godzilla Vs. Kong’ – Has Mecha-King Ghidorah Been Confirmed?!?

News broke today – according to Collider – that GVK on set witnesses confirm seeing King Ghidorah’s skull hooked up and ‘made technological.’

This is – pardon the pun – titanic news! My imagination is reeling with the announcement and my earliest speculations of Mecha-Ghidorah potentially showing up could be proving to be true!

via Toho

Soon as the initial trailer for Godzilla vs. Kong hit the internet it not only broke records but it left many fans clamoring around the rumor mills with growing obsessions over the possibility of seeing one of Godzilla’s greatest villains making its appearance in the MonsterVerse, Mechagodzilla!

via Toho

Not to mention certain toy companies revealed Mechagodzilla as part of their future lineup. It’s all but certain we’ll be seeing a Mecha version of the King of the Monsters in the upcoming film. However, recent news has given way to the strong possibility that perhaps we may get a different kind of Mecha monstrosity, one from the Heisei era.

According to Collider:

“We walked on to the set, and there was a gigantic Ghidorah skull that had been wired up and made technological,” collider’s Matt Goldberg wrote. “It’s one of the cooler sets I’ve been on as it looks like they had taken the organic matter of Ghidorah and mechanized it into some new kind of mechanized creature.”

Yes! My theory was right! I knew that severed head would come into play as some kind of Mecha weapon! Goddamn it’s fun to be right! Read here for more on the subject.

via Toho

This doesn’t confirm the appearance of Mecha-Ghidorah, who first appeared during the Heisei era and became an immediate fan favorite, but it does make it vastly more likely. It’s also possible the skull’s cells are powering none other than Mechagodzilla himself.

Unless we’re in for a double treat.

Two Mecha Monsters!

Now hear me out: you’ve heard me mention it before but we do have Godzilla bones still left untouched in the MonsterVerse that were introduced to us in 2014.

via Warner Bros and Legendary

We know these belong to Dagon, an old Titan and member of Godzilla’s rare species. I propose a possibility that would bring both Mecha terrors into the series.

Is it possible that Ghidorah’s skull is powering the tyrannical Mecha-King Ghidorah while Dagon’s bones power the Monsterverse’s Mechagodzilla?

“Oh no, Manic! You’ve gone mad with power!” Buah ha ha ha! I have indeed. But why not? I know that’s the direction I’d take us in if it were up to me. Go big or go home.

via Warner Bros and Legendary

Bottom Line
We’re getting a Godzilla vs. Kong movie, my Nasties! Can you believe it?! Even if the movie is nothing more than sixty minutes of those two famous monsters beating the shit out of each other it’ll be worth watching! This is a project I never thought could possibly happen and here I am writing (yet another) article about it.

via Warner Bros and Legendary

The two stars of the show are Godzilla and Kong, let’s not forget that and let speculations ruin our viewing experience. If all we get are those two big guys I’ll be thrilled. I strongly think there will be others in the movie, but Kong and Godzilla are the focus.

After all, speculating is helluva lot of fun, but they can raise expectations to unrealistic levels. So at the end of the day let’s celebrate our favorite monster and all the MonsterVerse is giving us.

Long Live the King!

Stallone Gives Update On “Rocky 4” Director’s Cut

Chances are if you’re here reading this, you might be a contender as a mega Rocky IV fanatic because the truth of the matter us, I’ll never goddamn get tired of talking about this franchise and this installment in particular.

When initially announced, I had made a promise that any updates on this monster of a director’s cut would be reported on and I’m a woman of my word. Following the announcements of the iconic Sico the Robot (a move that I’m still not sold on), being cut entirely from the films in favor of more ring time, Drago dialogue, and two previously cut songs from the film- we finally have an update on the film via Sly’s Instagram.

It seems as if the cut is nearing completion as the “Stallion” states the finishing touches are being added. So one can only assume that we should see this coveted cut of the movie sooner rather than later!

There’s no easy way out of the anxiety that takes over when thinking about a possible, brand new version of one of my favorite flicks ever. However, stay tuned for more updates when the official release is announced!