Clownhouse: A true video nasty if there ever was one. I mind-wrestled since the beginning of Nightmare Nostalgia on the notion to ever even write about this film, and here we are finally. At the end of the day, I got some things to say so we’re diving into this really troublesome movie that has become the true horror fan’s forbidden fruit.
Let’s start with my first experience with it:
Walking around the horror section in 1990 at my local mom and pop rental store Action Video, was definitely a highlight in my childhood. I’ve written countless times about how the hypnotizing VHS art covers opened up a world of horror I may have never known about before. Classic films like The Blob remake and Popcorn would have slid right by me in this era had it not been for those glorious artwork promos on the plastic rental box staring at you from afar like a lonely stranger begging for conversation. And of course, this new film stalking the shelves in the Summer of that year by then-unknown filmmaker Victor Salva caught my attention. The peering eyes of a demented clown taunted me. So duh, of course, I rented it. Brought it home, watched it on a Friday night with my dad, and I absolutely loved it.
I really hate saying that knowing we all know now about the movie.
Clownhouse is a fairly straightforward horror film about three brothers, Nathan Forrest Winters, Brian McHugh, and a then-unknown Sam Rockwell left alone in the house with some lunatic clowns on the loose who so happen to target the brothers in particular. Casey (Winters) has classic coulrophobia, and of course, his asshole big brother (Rockwell) who has a hot date but is also in charge of his two younger siblings while Mom is out of town, takes the clan to the town carnival to kill two birds with one stone. After a scare inside the big tent with a red-nosed nightmare (which was solely based on Casey’s own fears) the brothers head home for the night and the clowns retire to the makeup tents to wash off their faces- but the circus clowns themselves are being stalked by a trio of escaped mental patients. They themselves are killed and the lunatics take their clown gear, makeup, and have a hunt of their own. The prey being the three brothers of course.
As stated, Victor Salva was then an unknown to the industry and came in with this, actually really good B-horror movie flick. Beyond the obvious, this is what is incredibly problematic. The film hardly has any gore but rather plays on a psychological scare and chase theme. I would almost go far as saying it’s like a hardened, and more sophisticated “Are You Afraid of the Dark” episode made into a movie with much better acting. Which could be why I liked it so much as a kid. The film has great tension-filled pacing and eerie cinematography that sets the mood for a terrifying night filled with pained nightmares running around. But alas, it’s so uncomfortable to sit through now.
Is it possible to separate the art from the artist? Well, it’s not easy when the center of the art involves child molestation and really unsubtle shots of young boys in their underwear throughout the picture. I used to be able to think I could. However, the older I get, the more I can not. It hurts knowing what happened to the star, Nathan Forrest Winters and what he must have felt and gone through during production. After the disgusting scandal was made public, and if you do happen to rewatch it, you can just tell in this kid’s eyes the fear he has. The torment that Casey goes through in the film is a disturbing parallel of the heinous abuse Winters was subjected to at the hands of a real monster. That’s not acting, and that really angers me. It angers me even more that this piece of shit didn’t do nearly enough prison time AND went on to make a goddamn movie with Disney of all people: Powder, another really suggestive-looking trope with lots of half-naked young men, and then ultimately, Jeepers Creepers– who fuckface Salva himself said he modeled The Creeper after his own persona.
What a fuckin’ slimeball.
Anyways, if you’re one of those people who can by some magic sorcery separate the film from the behind-the-scenes horrors, then you’ll probably enjoy it; good luck finding it though beyond a free version up on YouTube. Just be prepared for the most uncomfortable hour and twenty minutes of your cinematic life.
Another year around the sun has come to an end and while many of us are saying good fucking riddance to another monumental hot-mess of a shitastic year, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a voice in the horror/retro community that some appreciate and enjoy what I have to give to a world that’s so entirely messed up right now.
I began horror blogging in 2014, quite by accident actually. A friend had given me the cue that a pretty well-known horror site was looking for writers, and she thought I would be perfect for the position given my ridiculous jeopardy of knowledge on the horror genre. Never done it before, I figured I had nothing to lose so I went for it. And although the experience itself had its ups and downs, I’m very grateful for the ride and the knowledge gained from it. I became Editor for the site, but after a while, it was time for me to move on to focus on my mental health as the tasks at hand became too pressuring. Being a mom and also running a business with my spouse on top of being a top contributor/editor AND running social media accounts while getting yelled at for not being at their disposal at every minute of the day, was more than enough for me to take a break and work at my own pace. I guest spotted at a few other horror websites for a while, (you name it, I wrote for the guys) until the time came where I realized I wasn’t happy writing for all the “Big Boys”. Boys, being the word of the day here. Favoritism, egos, and competitive attitudes sort of took a lot of the joy out of it for me, (I want to add this wasn’t my experience everywhere, but the only ones I didn’t seem to have an egomaniac down my back was the ONE female-led one). You can’t be your best if you’re not enjoying what you’re doing by being cock-blocked.
There aren’t very many retro/ horror blogs run by females. Why not? Well, being in this business, it’s a tough one. It’s always been a man’s world- case in point when certain websites/podcasts found out the person running this one, in particular, was female, I was given the cold shoulder. Not sure why this is. But a girl can love horror movies too. A girl can be knowledgeable. And a female can build and run her own website.
I did it. And some of you seem to keep coming back to hear me talk about retro horror shit. And for that, I’m forever grateful for you giving me a chance to give you some escapism from a pretty crappy world we’re currently living in. That’s why I’m here. Probably why you’re here too. Nightmare Nostalgia was made as a break from reality. To reminisce about the things that make us feel good. To forget the bullshit that can sometimes consume our lives and all the other negative, click-bait crap you’ll see on the social media/internet.
This wasn’t easy for me to be this vulnerable and open, but I felt that those who come here to read my ramblings, deserve the raw honesty. I truly appreciate you guys and I have some exciting new things coming in 2022 for the website- perhaps, a physical location store-front….? It’s an idea in the works- one I’ve had for many years that I feel like it’s time to bring to fruition. Along with moving myself into a new home with my family, this next year will be chaotic. But, I’ll still be here. With my weird fetishes with Ecto-Cooler, McDonald’s Pumpkin Pails, and my undying love for Stephen King’s Silver Bullet. Also, if you have anything you’d love to see more of here, feel free to drop me a line here in the comments or send me an email. There’s a handy contact form here on the blog- so reach out!
Happy New Year nostalgic nuggets. Here’s to another year of me shitting on the Nightmare On Elm Street remake and holding films like Maximum Overdrive in the highest regard.
Once upon a time, I had said that 1981 might have been the greatest year for horror movies, ever. Little did I know I would be having to pick and choose from the banner year of 1986 and fulfill my horror blogger duties by selecting only ten horror films of this year- which honestly is a task I don’t wish on anybody. How the fuck can I decide between Troll and Critters, or Terror Vision or From Beyond without having to subtract one entirely.
This is some horseshit. But, this is the online job I signed up for. Which at the end of the day, all came down to my own personal favorites. Don’t kill me in the comments later.
Anyways, the slasher era was well established by 1986 while birthing its way into mainstream pop culture, and horror films really began to venture into pushing more boundaries in the realm of body horror. Films like The Fly, From Beyond, and Night of the Creeps really go balls deep into graphic transformation and destruction of the human vessel. Hell, even Poltergiest II threw in some body horror apart from its supernatural element.
If you actually look at all the films that the genre released this year, you might get easily overwhelmed with all the titles; with every one of them being GREAT in its own respect. Beyond said visceral horror, franchise sequels, and beloved, good time 80s horror cheese ruled the year. That being said, here are some honorable mentions that deserve all the recognition, but didn’t quite make my top ten personally:
Alright, now that I’m recovering from all my anxiety of having to dissect and put these beautiful classics in a top ten list, here’s the final result.
10. CRITTERS
At the end of the day, I couldn’t ignore the fact that Critters is a goddamn good time. What’s not to love about this fuckin’ film? The cheesy B-horror answer to Gremlins is full of alien puppetry, homages (Dee Wallace and a Crite biting off the head of an E.T. doll), and a great cast to pull it all off. If you’re a horror movie snob, Critters isn’t for you. But, if you’re the kind of guy/gal who has seen Slumber Party Massacre 3 an honorable seventeen times, then you’re already a fan too and respect that Crite Life. But in case you haven’t, pick up the whole collection from Shout! here at Amazon.
9. FROM BEYOND
The loose adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s 1920 story of the same title originally published in The Fantasy Fan in 1934, is a visual nightmare of biological horror and not nearly spoken enough about in my opinion. Hot off Re-Animator, Stuart Gordon is back at it here with Jeffrey Combs and Barabra Crampton once more in probably one of the top-ten grossest movies I’ve ever seen in the genre. Some scenes are cringe in terms of adult themes, but the underlying tone along with really cool monster effects stand above the rapey shit.
8. MANHUNTER
The first time we actually got to see Thomas Harris’ Hannibal Lector on-screen was in 1986’s Manhunter starring Will Peterson, Tom Noonan, and Brian Cox as the cannibal doctor. Five years later Anthony Hopkins would blow the top off the cinematic world with his portrayal in Silence of the Lambs and played that character for over a decade in future sequels/prequels- including Red Dragon, which of course is a re-telling of Manhunter. However, Hopkins aside I much prefer this version of the story between Will Graham and his relationship with Lector. While Brian Cox’s Lector stands in the shadow of Hopkins’, the dialogue and tension between Graham and the psychologist are not as “Hollywood” and more natural- which makes it way more terrifying on-screen. And let’s not forget Tom Noonan as Francis Dolarhyde- who absolutely fucking nails it as a goddamn creep.
7. MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE
Stephen King has no qualms about killing kids in his books/movies and with his directorial overview of Maximum Overdrive, he makes that clear as fucking daylight. I can appreciate the balls he has here.
Before Skynet became self-aware, every moving machine in the world went batshit homicidal crazy thanks to a passer-by comet in King’s on-screen adaptation of his 1973 short story, “Trucks”. This movie is just fun as fuck to me. Emilio Estevez VS the Green Goblin toy truck? Sign me up over and over again.
6. LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
I literally can’t get enough of Audrey II and their hellbent destruction of the human race. The remake of the 60s’ on-screen adaptation of the musical by far exceeds its predecessor and is a damn delight to watch every time. National treasure Rick Moranis along with Bill Murray and Steve Martin almost seems like a bonus and not the main selling point when you look at the movie as a whole. I’m not a musical type of gal, but I’ll sing the shit out of that “Dentist” song.
Also is probably the main reason why I, and many others of my generation have an irrational fear of Dr. Death, I mean, the dentist. Speaking of which, here’s a recap of that song, just because.
5. POLTERGEIST II: THE OTHER SIDE
Sure, The Other Side doesn’t quite have the same magic as the first film in the Poltergeist trilogy, but damn if it didn’t make a bold impact scaring the shit of just about everyone with Julian Beck’s performance alone as the ghostly Reverend Kane. Case in point, that paired with some unforgettable practical effects with monsters created by H.R. Giger, makes this not only a worthy sequel to one of the greatest horror movies of all time but a stand-alone among the greats in 1986.
4. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2
Unlike Tobe Hooper’s 1974 film, TCM 2 is fucking BONKERS and that is exactly why we love it. I’ll never forget being six years old and walking in on my cousin watching a rented video cassette of this at precisely the scene of the above-animated GIF; I was both horrified and highly intrigued and further traumatized myself as this was my first introduction to Leatherface. Which was great because when I got around the first film later on, its sheer perfection made an even greater impact on my little horror-fueled mind.
Jason Lives is a popular installment among fans via the Friday franchise, but I’ll go as far as saying it’s THE BEST along with the (brace yourselves) BEST Jason- CJ GRAHAM. Yeah, I said it.
That being said, Jason Lives embraces every damn thing that is an 80s horror film. There’s cheese, gore, quirky kills, and a masked maniac. What more can you ask for, eh? This is also the first time in a Friday film where Thom Matthews puts on his Jarvis hat and becomes the iconic face for the character- well deserved if you ask me. Also, the first time surprisingly in any film in the series to actually feature children at the camp! Pretty wild that six films into this we are just now seeing these campers and not just the counselors. From the James Bond parody intro to the final showdown at the lake between Jarvis and Jason, this is where Friday the 13th certainly peaked and considering the significant importance of the franchise’s contribution to 80s’ horror, is well-deserving of a top 3 spot here.
2. ALIENS
Aliens is a masterpiece that nearly sets the first film on fire and no one can tell me any different. The film blows the doors open on the original premise giving us a complex yet comprehensible story along with memorable characters we all want to root for. Everything about this sequel is bad-ass, including expanding the hero of Ripley giving us a tried and true female Action Hero. It’s a beautiful thing to witness her journey from the first film well into the second as she transforms from a science nerd astronaut into a one-woman army machine. Also to note, pitting Human Mother against Alien Mother is nothing short of sheer brilliance. But I always can’t help but feel some sort of empathy for Alien mama here. She’s just laying her eggs doing her thing only to have all her homicidal babies blown up by Ripley.
I’d be pretty pissed off too.
1. THE FLY
David Cronenberg’s ultimate visceral horror The Fly stands the test of time as one of the greatest goddamn horror movies, EVER. A love story more tragic than that of Romeo and Juliet, Seth (Jeff Goldblum), and Veronica’s (Geena Davis) tale of love, loss, and destruction is what really makes this movie the ultimate experience apart from all the projectile vomit this film can induce with its extreme transformation scenes.
The Fly is not only a triumph in storytelling but in the visual effects as well. Makeup wizards Chris Walas and Stephen Doo Pwah deservedly won an academy award for their makeup effects on The Fly, but they didn’t forget to thank the actor who brought Brundlefly to life. With the collaboration of these genius and stomach-turning prosthetics along with Goldblum’s brilliant acting chops, this movie gave us the most disgusting character that we’ve ever fallen in love with. The Fly gets all the awards here, and throw in the magic word cheeseburger to boot.
