Tag Archives: Horror Nostalgia

Why Anjelica Huston is the Most Horrifying Movie Witch… Ever

Image August 24, 2020 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

There’s just something wickedly amazing about Anjelica Huston peeling off her humanoid face in The Witches that makes you want to squirm and throw holy water all over the place. If you were a horror kid in the 90s’, chances are you’ve seen Anjelica Huston in all her genre glory as she so brilliantly took on the coveted role of a lifetime, Morticia Addams in the Addams Family movies; and nailed the shit out of it staking her claim as the modern babe in black we both wanted as a wife and mother. She was a goth goddess and we loved her for it.

However, before she was clipping off heads of rosebuds in her gothic garden, she solidified her spot in history in 1990 with her terrifying portrayal of Roald Dahl’s Grand High Witch.

Adapted from the 1983 Dahl book and sadly, the last movie the great Jim Henson produced, The Witches brought just the right amount of intensity to the screen for young viewers without going over the PG rating. That’s quite an impressive feat considering the main antagonist of the film was in so many words, the Charles Manson of the witch world ordering her disciples to get rid of every last child on Earth through what else?

Chocolate, of course.

Chocolate that turns the repulsive, dogs’ dropping smelling, little brats into mice. While the premise alone is something that could give any small kid a few nightmares at bedtime, it was Huston’s performance in The Witches that scared the literal crap out of kids back at the beginning of the ’90s decade.

So on this day, which also happens to bethe films’ 30th anniversary, we celebrate why the almighty Grand High Witch was and still is, the most horrifying witch on screen.

The Grand High Witch Revealed

As stated at the top of this jam, not sure there’s anything more horrifying to a child than watching someone as beautiful as Huston peel the skin of her mug like a Mary Kay face mask to reveal her true hideous self.

It always bugged me how she was able to mask that enormously elongated nose underneath her disguise, but I suppose The Grand High Witch has her ways and I probably shouldn’t question it otherwise I may end up a pile of ashes. Which leads us into the next example.

The Grand High Witch doesn’t like smack talk

See here’s the thing: if you’re a low-ranking witch in the same room as your superior, you should probably keep your opinions to yourself. And for fuck’s sake don’t mutter crap under your breath within ears reach of the most powerful woman in the world. Even though the comment was a mere observation and harmless, the Grand High Witch made it painfully clear even the slightest apprehension from her subordinates will cost them dearly.

Bye, Bye Bruno!

Holy hell, does the Witch Queen hate children or what?! During the little witch convention, your scabby Highness shows off her latest, and very gweatest invention- Formula 86. The very potion to be diluted into candy bars that are to be dispersed to children worldwide. So she brings in a visual demonstration of what to expect to see once the formula goes into action. Looks like Conal Cochran has some serious competition here.

She outright tries to kill a baby!

The Grand High Witch shows no mercy even towards infants. That’s some pure evil shit right there ladies and gentlemen. Luckily our flick’s protagonist little Luke intervenes and saves the day because I’m not so sure I could deal with that kind of baby killing fuckery in a supposed family friendly film.

She’s even terrifying as a damn mouse!

The Skeksis have nothing on the Grand High Witch in pure rodent form. When plans backfire, the Witch of all witches finds herself in quite the predicament. If you didn’t have a phobia of mice and rats before, you might have one now because the Grand Highness’ rodent transformation is the ultimate in sewer rodent nightmares. And then what happens? She gets squashed by Mr. Bean.

Mr. Fucking. Bean.

This guy right here killed the Grand High Witch. I guess not even the head of the witches can compete with this kind of mojo. Hmm. Maybe Bean ole’ boy should have taken her place.

Horror Nostalgia

A Few Things You Might Not Know About “The Exorcist III”

Image August 17, 2018 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

I fondly remember the fateful night in 1990where my father, uncle, my cousin and an eight-year-old Patti made a Saturday night trip to our favorite local movie theater that stood as possibly, one of the last retro looking movie houses in all of Las Vegas. This might sound silly as of course, this was 1990, but I’m talking SUPER RETRO here. The entire building was made of brick, popcorn stands where mere popcorn and hot dog carts inside the lobby with a few cases of candy on the side, velvet red curtains covered the theater screens until showtime commenced, and the GIANT illuminated cinema marquee sign that displayed the featured films playing, could literally be seen from miles away. The place was absolutely beautiful inside and out, (as you can see pictured below of the inside lobby) and served as the place where I had seen most of the movies growing up until its demise and demolition over 15 years ago.

*Shout out to ClassicLasVegas.com for this awesome photo!

It’s also the place where I first saw our movie of the day here, The Exorcist III. And yep. I remember peeing my pants a little as I was eight-goddamn-years-old in regards to that one scene. You know which one I’m talking about… And also, yes. The two grown men and older teenage male cousin laughed at the eight-year-old girl who produced a squirt of nature’s lemonade.

Dicks.

*MAJOR SPOILER HERE. DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU HAVEN’T LIVED AND HAVE DONE A DISSERVICE TO YOUR LIFE BY NOT WATCHING THIS FILM.

As fun as it is to reminisce about peeing the pants, let’s get to the real topic here. If you’re here and still reading, chances are you’re a fan of the HIGHLY UNDERRATED psychological-thriller based off William Peter Blatty’s fantastic novel, Legion; which of course, serves as the true direct sequel to The Exorcist. So, we’re going to skip all the captain obvious bullshit plot explanations and get right into some shit that you may or may not know about this film. And hell, if you watch it again with a new knowledge and some more appreciation, well stunning. I’ve done my job here.

1. The Exorcist III Was Jeffrey Dahmer’s Favorite Movie

Well, a film that focuses on another serial killer doesn’t seem far-fetched as a favorite of one of America’s most notorious, eh? According to various old reports, Dahmer would watch the movie over, and over. And even watched portions of the film with some of his victims after bringing them back to his apartment. One of these men was one who had escaped- Tracy Edwards, who claims the film was on at the time he was guided around the apartment by Dahmer. Reports also claim that Dahmer had purchased contact lenses with yellow tint, to mimic The Gemini Killer.

2. They Snuck In A Reference To The Fly II

As I may have stated in previous articles, my parents had no qualms about taking their young child to the theater for an extreme horror film. Becuase, hey, fuck 101 Dalmations. They didn’t have the patience for that watered down-Disney shit. So, watching this at the theater at the age of eight, I caught this one right away as I had seen The Fly II a year prior with my mother and I left the theater crying after the scene with the dog. Ugh. I still hate it. Anyway, Lee Richardson plays that asshole in that film that got his just desserts for hurting that animal and has a small part as the University President in The Exorcist III. When asked by Father Dyer what his favorite film, he replies coyly, “The Fly.”

*Also worth noting, Brad Dourif who brilliantly portrays the Gemini, references his cinematic alter-ego Chucky during one of his ramblings. In the film, he says, “It’s child’s play”, and we then cut to a scene to a young boy that resembles a Good Guy.

3. Both William Friedkin and John Carpenter Were Attached To Direct Before Blatty

Well, it certainly would have been iconic enough had OG Exorcist director William Friedkin at the helm once again, but John Carpenter?! That would have been something to see his vision of legion eh? Blatty originally collaborated with Friedkin and penned out The Exorcist III with Friedkin attached to direct. After Friedkin backed out, the project died and was turned into a novel- AKA Legion. After the success of the novel, Blatty offered out it on the market in the form of a screenplay and Morgan Creek bought the rights to make the film, whom brought on the legendary John Carpenter to direct. However, after seeing Blatty’s passion and visionary input regarding his adaptation, he stepped down to hand the reigns to the rightful owner.

4. A Plot Twist Was Suggested Involving Regan Macneil- And A Birth Of Possessed Twins….?!

This has to be the most WTF fact of them all…

Yes, this was suggested to William Peter Blatty as studios were in negotiations to adapt the screenplay by Carolco Pictures. The idea of a grown-up Regan giving birth to possessed twins completely undermines the whole idea of Legion and I don’t blame him a bit for laughing that off and settling with Morgan Creek Productions- even if they still haven’t given us a REAL directors cut of the film, at least that didn’t happen.

5. The Alternate Ending We Still Haven’t Seen

The ending we all know, and even in that Shout Factory edition, was not the intended final vision of Blatty. Reports claim it was scripted AND filmed, but we’ve still yet to see the dramatically different ending to The Exorcist III. But you know, Morgan Creek wanted that exorcism in there, so if moneybags wanted it, by God they were going to get it and the following was scrapped and reshot to their liking:

The novel Legion ends with the Gemini Killer summoning Kinderman to his cell for a final speech and then willingly dropping dead after his alcoholic Christian evangelist abusive father, finally dies from a heart attack. As his motive for killing was always to shame daddy, the Gemini’s reason for remaining on Earth ceases to exist. He then drops dead, thus freeing Karras. Albeit by death, but nevertheless releasing him from all the torture. In Blatty’s original screenplay adaptation, the ending is similar to the novel except that the Gemini’s death is not self-induced but forced supernaturally and suddenly by the death of his father.

The Exorcist III remains criminally underrated and if anything to the haters, (and really, who are you?) serves as a beautiful character analysis of different walks of life in the form of one chilling film. Aside from Silence f the Lambs, it stands as one of THE BEST psychological thrillers in cinematic history. Bold statement? Maybe. Perhaps you should schedule a rewatch and come back to comment to challenge me.

That’s me issuing a clear invitation to the dance. Pick up your copy from Amazon here!

Wrestling Memories

That One Time We All Thought The Undertaker Killed The Ultimate Warrior

Image June 18, 2018 Patti PaulterGeist 2 Comments

A date that will forever live in glorious infamy for me would be March 26, 1991. A day where all my dreams of brightly colored outfits, incredible arena entrance music, and the ever so amazing Tonka Wrestling Buddies and giant Hulk foam fingers being sold up and down the aisles of the Thomas and Mack arena in lieu of overpriced bags of popcorn. Ok, there was that too but as an eight-year-old, I needed those damn buddies to smack my little brother in the face with just like the TV commercials. Anyway, it was my first LIVE WWF all-star that would later air on Superstars of Wrestling and I was here for it. Yep. I was pretty goddamn excited for the show. I was about to see all my muscular heroes: Hulk Hogan, Legion of Doom, Randy Savage, and of course, the goddamn Undertaker who had just made his debut several months prior at the 1990 Survivor Series. So yeah, it was pretty exciting guys.

About halfway through the program that involved exciting matches between superstars and also filler matches with “jobber” wrestlers, the attention from the ring was drawn to a dark corner of the stadium. The dim lighting gave way to what looked like, a grimly decorated memorial service with gothic candles and wreaths of flowers strewn about. OOOOOOOOHHHHH YESSSSSSSS. It was time for the mother-fuckin’ Funeral Parlor with Sir Paul of Bearers- a sideshow skit notorious in the WWF glory days where a superstar or manager hosts another guest into their realm. And usually ends up in a fight more or less. We can all thank the Rowdy one for starting that treasure up with Piper’s Pit. Anyway, today’s guest was the ever so popular Ultimate Warrior, and little did we know shit was about to get really intense.

Before we get into it, and I may be opening myself up for a lot of turmoil here, I was never really a fan of the Warrior. I can’t explain it other than, maybe I felt like he was taking away from Hogan’s glory. Yes, I know the torch was set up to be passed to him, but I just wasn’t buying it even as a seven-year-old. My little brother, on the other hand, was a die-hard fan of the Warrior. And I had a new-found admiration for this dark, brooding figure that was making waves in the world of wrestling. And holy shit, this was a tense moment for my little brother and I. His favorite wrestler was about to enter the Funeral Parlor with one of my favorites, so it was as if we were about to have a “who has the bigger dick here” sibling battle in the sense these big burly men were representing us. Yes, I’m a female. But that doesn’t mean I can’t measure out my “Phantom Dick” too? Why be sexist here?

Back to the story.

Ok, so here we are. Bearer is setting up for the show with his “Paul Bearer-ish” ramblings and Warrior comes out doing his growl and all that jazz. Bearer is stoked to see he made the appearance because apparently, The Undertaker has made quite the gift for him-his own custom casket! What a sweet gesture, eh? Anyway, the casket was covered with a black tarp-like sheet and once revealed, the Warrior looked kind of freaked out. Which pretty much made all my insides giggle. Paul commences to taunt the crap out of him by indeed, pointing out how scurred he really is of death, and of course, the Undertaker. Warrior starts getting all huffy, pointing his finger in Paul’s face mumbling some gruffs or something, and out from behind out of nowhere, Undertaker comes at him! Beats up on him pretty good, and manages to stuff the Warrior into his own coffin. A stunned, yet still resistant Warrior tries to fight the closing of the lid, but unsuccessfully. I sort of screamed with delight, not going to lie and sneered at my brother who was held up by my father so his tinier self could see the action better. Victorious, Undertaker and Bearer retreat slowly back to the dressing room and here we are, Warrior stuck in a casket. Now we have a bunch of WWF officials trying to pry this thing open in front of a crowd of thousands. After what seems like an eternity, and it was truly only about maybe 5 minutes, they finally get the sucker open to reveal a lifeless warrior.

And that’s when a sea of tears came about to just about every kid in the crowd, including my brother. I say just about every kid because I was laughing hysterically like the sick little bastard I was, and well, still am I guess. He literally asked our Dad with tears welling up and stuttering, “Is he dead?!” And then I got to thinking under all that, “haha my guy just owned your guy,” well shit. Maybe something bad happened here! Remember now, we were little kids, thus thinking anything here was FAKE was not a thing. It was all very real to us. And then I started to get a little scared myself. Like holy shit, maybe he actually killed the guy! My parents had to assure us that everything would be ok, and of course, it was magically. But hey, we did get some sick as hell Wrestling Buddies out of it! Which is what I was eyeing the whole time anyway. So thanks to that little skit that scared the ever-loving shit out of us and every goddamn kid at Thomas and Mack, I totally got myself a bad-ass toy. The Warrior wasn’t so bad after all!