In 1984, the first Apple Macintosh computer went up for sale commercially, Madonna humped the stage at the first MTV video awards, and Ghostbusters rocked theaters around the world. But, most importantly, a little toy was introduced to millions of young girls all over the world that was about as glorious and magical that can only be compared to Rambo riding a Unicorn. That toy my friends, was Rainbow Brite.
Image via Yellow80s
Introduced by Hallmark and following the success of Care Bears, phenom toy company Mattel acquired the license to make a line of unique and colorful dolls that every little girl would run their grandmother over to own. The Rainbow Brite line launched in 1984 alongside the animated series with originally just Rainbow Brite and four color kids (Red Butler, Canary Yellow, Patty O’ Green, and Indigo) with sprite friends included.
Might I add, if you’ve managed to keep these dolls over the past 30+ years WITH their sprites, kudos to you because in a lot of cases those little bastards get lost over time.
Of course, the franchise that vomited rainbows and star sprinkles all over the shag carpet advertised countless other toys, books, and audio tapes for Rainbowland seekers. However, the dolls themselves are the holy grail of the merch line. And we needed someone just as adorable and endearing to pawn these 10′ plush dolls with plastic heads to young girls on a national level. Who better than Heather O’ Rourke? Because hey, she knows a thing or two about interdimensional traveling to other worlds, am I right?
Check out the Poltergeist star below spreading Rainbowland love commercially!
I don’t care if you were the toughest 11-year-old on the block. When this moment came out of nowhere during the Saturday morning program Superstars of Wrestling, you were shook. And possibly pissing your pants if you were really upset.
I miss the good ole days of Wrestling when McMahon gave no fucks about making a kid cry.
The bite heard around the world back on November 23rd, 1991 all started back with the infamous Career Ending Match between Randy Savage and the Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania 7- in which The Madness lost to the Warrior after a grueling back and forth that I considered, the REAL main event of the evening. While a dazed Savage attempted to gather his bearings after his defeat, his manager at the time Scary, I mean the Sensational Queen Sherri took her frustrations out on Randy by mercifully kicking the man while he’s down (literally). Unbeknownst to anyone other than the announcers, Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan who spotted her before the start of the match, the lovely Elizabeth who had stayed by Savage’s side for years before a fallout, looked on in horror as she watched Savage be absolutely humiliated. That is until, she hopped the railings, into the ring, grabbed Sherri by the hair, and flung her ass out like a piece of hot trash. Thus reuniting the infamous duo, leading them into the first-ever WWF Pay Per View wedding appropriately called, the Match Made in Heaven to be aired during Summerslam ’91. Well, it was adorable and all, but the real action happened during the reception…
Randy and Elizabeth opening gifts from guests looking all super happy and whatnot turns into terror as Elizabeth opens a gift containing a snake that pops up like a twisted jack-in-box. Then out of nowhere, both Jake the Snake and The Undertaker run in with a surprise beat down for the Groom. Which totally confused me at the time because there was NO REASON for any of this to even happen, on top of the fact Jake was one of the most popular wrestlers in the WWF, goddamnit, WWE up until the incident. It’s like Jake woke up that day deciding to turn heel and he was going to be the biggest prick possible. I mean, seriously, anyone wanting to hurt or even frighten Miss Elizabeth was automatically the biggest piece of shit on the face of the Earth.
Like, seriously how dare you Jake.
via palooza.com
Anyway, with Savage being barred from wrestling via the Career Ending Match, he couldn’t get his hands on Roberts for revenge. However, Jake continued to taunt the man for months even dropping Elizabeth’s name in promos to further infuriate him. Well, during one fine Saturday morning during Superstars of Wrestling, it all came to a head and The Mad One couldn’t take the assault on his manhood anymore. After Jake pinned some no-namer, he grabbed a microphone and addressed Savage, who was doing commentary; calling him a “gutless, yellow, stinkin’ coward who hides behind the skirt of a woman.”
Oh yeah. That really pissed him off. Savage ran towards the ring despite pleas from his comrade and fellow commentators Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper, got distracted by a ref which in turn gave Jake the upper hand, tied Savage to some ropes, and commenced to have every child watching under the age of 12 shit their pants for the next eight minutes.
Correct me if I’m wrong here, but I don’t recall anything before or after this looking and feeling so terrifying for anyone watching. Just another reason why Savage will forever remain a legend in the world of wrestling. Aside from the show, reports state he was super excited to get bit by that King Cobra. What a fuckin’ beast.
Let’s rewind our minds back a few years and remember what being a kid was like on a gorgeous Saturday morning.
Unlike my peers, I personally was always up at a decent hour (around 7:30 a.m.). After crawling out of my Ninja Turtle sheets, I would make my way to the dimly lit kitchen and help myself to a bowl of cereal and whatever readily available juice box (preferably Hawaiian Punch or Ecto Cooler) my fridge held that morning. All placed accordingly on my TMNT (1990) movie tray in front of our mammoth of a television set. I was ready to seize the glorious Saturday with the start of some of the greatest goddamn must-see-TV. And one of many of those amazing Saturday morning animated gems was, of course, Beetlejuice: The Animated Series.
One year after Tim Burton congo-danced the ghost with the most across the big screen, the imaginative filmmaker developed a more kid-friendly version (sorry, no crotch grabbing anywhere here) based on the daily lives of the bio-exorcist and his earth pal, Lydia Deetz.
Mostly set in Beetle’s home The Netherworld, the series ran around some silly adventure or problem week after week involving the duo. From roaming skeletons in the closet ruining someone’s day with the hard truth or Beetlejuice’s entire skeletal system abandoning him in favor of a vacation, the show was a perfect Saturday morning mash-up of wackiness and just a hint of horror.
Lydia’s parents Charles and the eccentric Delia return in animated form as naive supporting characters that never seem to notice their daughter spends most of her free time in another dimension. Then again, in the film, she seemed to be mostly ignored from her self-absorbed parental units until the shit hit the fan- so the relationship stays a tad faithful in that aspect. The void felt by the absence of Barbara and Adam was filled with new characters. Beetle’s neighbors in the Netherworld furthered BJ’s awesome sense of sarcasm with most of them being both clumsy and easy to poke fun at. In which case, ole BJ took advantage of on a constant basis and was the source for a lot of the humor in the series. Jacques, Ginger, The Monster Across the Street, Poopsie, the Mayor, and on Earth, the snooty Claire Brewster, were often the victims of Beetlejuice’s embarrassing pranks. Even Lyds wasn’t immune to Beetle’s reign of practical jokes as the bio-exorcist’s only friend was even the butt-of-the-joke at times. However, unlike Claire and the Netherworld residents, BJ’s pranks on the teenage Deetz were never meant to cause damaging feelings or humility, but rather all in fun. Which asserts the relationship between Lydia and Beetlejuice in the series. Unlike in the film, the pair was as close as friends could get and the unlikely duo’s friendship remained a constant crucial part of the show throughout the series’ short three-season span.
What I wouldn’t give for a revival of this beautiful program. Hey if Spiderman and Teen Titans can be rebooted several times, why not give Beetlejuice a shot at the 21st century?
