Tag Archives: Nightmare on Elm Street

‘Freddy vs Jason vs Ash!’ The Macabre Comicbook Sequel to ‘Freddy vs Jason’

Three legendary icons of horror were destined to meet in an apocalyptic bloodbath over the souls of every living thing on this planet. The stakes were high and anticipation across all three fandoms had never been hotter. It was supposed to be a worthy sequel to Freddy vs Jason and meant to further the lore of A Nightmare on Elm St, Friday the 13th, and the Evil Dead.

This is the story of Freddy vs Jason vs Ash, a comic book that slipped under the attention of many horror fans when it was released but is now considered a worthy successor to the franchises.

Prologue: In the beginning, there was Freddy vs Jason

It was to be the cinematic event of every horror fan’s lifetime. Oh Hell’s bells y’all, even nonhorror fans were excited to see it! After all, it was about damn time these two horror icons met up in an all-out visceral splatter-filled fight to the death! So, at long goddamn last, fans were actually getting the movie promised to us in the final reels of Jason Goes to Hell.

At the end of JGTH Freddy’s arm rises from – what has to be assumed to be – the very pits of Hell to drag Jason’s mask down to the heated pits of Satan’s domain. It was a major tease and horror fiends everywhere waited on pins and needles for the movie (Freddy vs Jason) to be announced.

Freddy Krueger of Elm St and Jason Voorhees of Crystal Lake were finally crossing over in what had to be the best horror movie ever made. Our imaginations ran wild. Speculations flowed and expectations were sky high. The problem is JGTH came out in August of 1993. It came and went and still no movie featuring the two most popular slasher villains of all time was released. It wouldn’t be until a decade later that the film we waited on was finally released. In the meantime, it was doubted if the project would ever happen.

However, as the years ticked by, the initial hype for the project never faded from fans’ hearts.

If you grew up in the ‘80s you know what a humongous deal this was. How often did all of us little horror fiends meet up on the playground and argue over who could beat the other, Freddy or Jason? And I mean these arguments were professionally structured and each side of the respective fandoms brought their reasons as to why their favorite slasher baddie would obviously wipe the floor with the other one’s mangled face.

As kids, we dreamed of seeing a legit Freddy vs Jason movie. Yeah, we were a weird little bunch who grew up on slasher movies and dark cartoons all the while the glowing threat of the Cold War loomed hazily over our heads every day. We grew up tough.

As aforementioned Jason Goes To Hell clearly set up the scenario for these two blood-soaked forces of evil to meet up. Truth of the matter is the plan to pit Freddy and Jason against each other was a hair up the filmmakers’ asses ever since the seventh Friday the 13th movie, New Blood. Already back then (1988) the plans were being laid to have them fight.

Due to licensing regulations, Jason could not fight Freddy just yet and so a ‘Jason vs Carrie’ style movie was made instead. 

This scrapped FVJ movie would be the first in an avalanche of scripts to wind up in the trash before the studios finally locked on to one they liked. Was it the best one out there after all the ones that passed through executives’ hands? Was it a good idea to let the film be directed by a man who never watched a single movie from either colossal franchise? Did we really need someone from Destiny’s Child to be a lead character?

Fun Fact: Jason would face off against Leatherface before he ever got the chance to fight Freddy.

Today FVJ isn’t really looked upon fondly by fans. It does have its flaws. Like a lot of them. Starting with why isn’t Kane Hodder Jason? He was promised the role and fans couldn’t wait to see him fight Freddy. So who’s bright idea was it to ruin that? Not to mention the lead characters are weak and boring as well. Plus Jason has never been afraid of water so that plot point was in fact pointless.

All we wanted was to watch Freddy and Jason tear the everliving fuck out of one another. And that’s where the movie shines. It’s also why it was a hit at the box office.

Nevertheless, upon initial release, horror fans loved Freddy vs. Jason. People screamed and laughed, and some peed themselves with excitement. It was a fun popcorn movie and immediately once the credits rolled everyone just knew there had to be a follow-up… Right? I mean the movie ends with Jason carrying the severed head of Freddy Krueger (showing us who truly won the fight) and the Dream Demon winks at the audience. This fight was far from over. In fact, we had to be witnessing the start of a brand new franchise now combining both series into a fusion of carnage and carnality. 

It wouldn’t be long before a sequel would be announced. Not only that but rumor was Ash of the beloved Evil Dead franchise would be entering the upcoming fight. This would be nothing short of epic. 

Only, as we all now know, it never exactly happened. Even Robert Englund was hyped for the project and shared a few thoughts about what the poster design should be – Ash holding both Freddy and Jason in a dual head-lock with a tagline promising to keep audiences safe from remakes forever. The project would have been a sensation. Too bad some idiot in charge of New Line didn’t like the idea of making money because the idea was poo-pooed and FVJ still hasn’t had a proper sequel. Theatrically, I stress it’s not happened theatrically

Freddy vs Jason vs Ash – comics do what Hollywood can’t

The sequel idea didn’t die and was carried over to the medium of comic books where the three juggernauts of horror got a chance to meet at long last in a little-known series called Freddy vs Jason vs Ash. Rolls right off the tongue. 

Right away I want to praise the artwork. The artist (Jason Craig) truly brings this story to life, charging it with beautiful spectacles of gore and outrageous violence, not to mention bringing to life each character who is honestly larger than life due to the actors who’ve lived the role for decades now, which lends a definite cinematic feel to what would be an otherwise very static story.

The Plot

The story opens five years after the grizzly events of FVJ. Times have now changed and the disquieted residents of the Crystal Lake region would gladly like to move on and think beyond the horrible secrets of Camp Blood and the sorted history revolving around it. 

Shall the blood-speckled horrors of the Past no longer hold sway over its traumatized citizens? They’d sure like to think so, but, as has been stated before, people like to forget that he’s out there lurking under the lake…

In what feels like a certain act of defiance – probably some definite denial too – they’ve happily renamed the whole region Forest Green to avoid any bad association linked to the moniker Crystal Lake. Nevertheless, my Ghoulies, a name change does not an exorcism make and demons, no matter how deeply buried they may be, do not vacate a residence so easily.

Too much blood has been spilled on these unhallowed grounds. Enough to drown two generations beneath its crimson tide, and the land is cursed by the sins of the wicked. Evil does not rest idly by. 

But denial is a powerful persuasion and recently the surviving members of this disturbed little community have reason to be excited. A brand-spankin’ new S-mart’s been given the green light to open its doors of consumerism right there in the heart of it all. And right around Christmas time too so shoppers can be sure to smart extra smart (shop S-mart) this coming holiday season! I mean what could possibly go wrong? 

And who better to get these primitive yokels in line than Mr. Groovy himself! That’s right fiends and ghouls, Ash Williams has come all the way from Michigan to be up in Jason’s ghastly neck of the woods to lend a firm hand (the only one he’s got left) in training the new employees and getting the store into shape. It won’t take long before heads start rolling.

Meanwhile, to tie up loose ends, Laurie, the final girl of FVJ, just can’t help herself and goes back to the forbidden grounds of Camp Blood to make double sure both Freddy and Jason are dead. Tagging along is her boyfriend Will, who also survived the bloody outcome of FVJ and serves as the voice of – very much needed – reason here. After all, if you survive an encounter with only one of these slasher kings why in the fucking of all fucking hells would you lack the common sense God gave a goose and take your sorry ass back to their haunted territory? Most of the time the survivors of these films only want to get on with their lives. But no, Laurie thinks she has some special plot armor and won’t be affected by the nasty stabby bits of a slasher’s blade. 

I really don’t know what the Hell this idiot was thinking but upon reentering Jason’s dark domain the Demon of the Lake appears and Will gets a bad case of being slaughtered. Laurie soon comes to greatly regret her big dumb decision when she realizes Jason isn’t friendly! No, not at all and he doesn’t give a fuck who you are. To him, we’re all just a bunch of meat sacks that he gladly spills all over the place. It’s not long before Jason makes quick work of Laurie and her warm blood flows thickly into the wintery snow. Funnily enough, it feels like the storytellers had some real contempt for her character and couldn’t wait to kill her off at the first chance they got. So they did so right at the very beginning of the story! It shows this story isn’t messing around and we’re all just part of the ride. 

In keeping with how FVJ concluded, Freddy’s nothing more than a severed head and sits alongside Pamela’s beloved cranium at the cabin’s shrine. Still, bereft of body as he now is, Freddy proves to be no less dangerous nor any less treacherous in his maniacal scheming.

He has full access to Jason’s mind and provokes him every chance he can, showing himself to be Mommy Dearest’s new lover and, by proxy, Jason’s step-daddy. Yeah, it gets really weird. This is all played out inside of Jason’s messed up mind by the way and he sees his mom naked in bed with Freddy…like I said it’s weird. 

The Dream Demon has big goals for this hulking mass of violence and intends to send Jason out and obtain a hidden copy of the Necronomicon planted somewhere around Crystal Lake. It’s from here that the story centers primarily on the importance of getting hold of that accursed tome of necromancy. 

It’s also here that a lot of fans roll their eyes – myself included – because the storytellers try to force the narrative that Jason is a Deadite and I hate that idea. Adam Markus tried dredging it up a few years ago and it still made no sense. During the Paramount era it was never once hinted that Jason could possibly be a Deadite. He was a kid who drowned in the lake and became a restless spirit of wrath and violence. He never exhibited any qualities of a Deadite. For one, Deadites can speak and love berating their victims with devilish taunts and jeers. They also have an over-the-top sense of humor. Something Jason lacks on both accounts. It wasn’t until New Line acquired the rights to the franchise that this notion was shoe-horned into the lore as if someone needed a reason to say ‘Oh that’s why Jason is what he is!’ No, Jason is just Jason. Freddy would be more suited to being called a Deadite given how many of their qualities he personally exhibits. But, again, Freddy is just Freddy. Sometimes there doesn’t need to be any reason beyond that. It’s way more interesting to let the Deadites, Freddy, and Jason be their own separate demonic monsters. Three separate forces of Evil all at war with each other. That’s way more engaging. 

So here the narrative says Pamela got hold of a copy of the Necronomicon (somehow) to resurrect Jason from the Lake and thus making him a Deadite. Keep in mind how, had this movie been made, we would’ve been 12 movies deep already into Jason’s lore thus making this the absolute first time this idea was pushed on fans. It doesn’t fit with any of the lore previously solidified. Now I could buy into an idea that oh let’s just say, some occultists arrive at Crystal Lake with a copy of the Necronomicon to indulge in some dastardly occulty stuff. It being a virtual hot spot for mass murders and restless spirits after all. Maybe Freddy could have used his influence over dreams to get people to bring the Necronomicon out that far and Jason killing them off before they could hand over the book to him. That would be a really good reason for Freddy and Jason to start fighting all over again. Ah well. 

Regardless, this is how the storytellers chose to get Necronomicon into the plot. Jason’s mom used it to resurrect him and now Freddy wants the book to resurrect himself and become both a terror of the dreamlands as well as the waking world. You can imagine what kind of catastrophe that would prove to be should he get hold of that ancient grimoire. 

Highlights of the story

1- We get a genuine Christmas horror story that crosses over Evil DeadNightmare on Elm St, and Friday the 13th! Hell could you imagine if this had been made into a movie? It would’ve been an annual must-watch among all three fandoms. A very sad missed opportunity here. At least we get it in comic book form though. 

carol this, assholes!

2- The violence is off the scale here. Jason is in true form, my Nasties. Right away he kills the heroes of the last movie and then quickly ventures out to the cheery festivities being enjoyed by the locals. It’s not long before Jason impales a caroler and then cuts off the heads of the rest of her caroling crew.

My favorite moments happen when Jason walks boldly into S-mart and opens up a slaughter aisle.

I mean fucking Hell he takes a buggy (shopping cart to the rest of y’all) and uses it to completely mince some guy through the cart’s grid! It’s like a hot cheese grate splashing through warmed butter! Without a doubt, this has to be my favorite Jason kill of all time right here. Just take a look.

I mean just look at this crazy shit!

Absolutely beautiful. Jason removes people’s upper bodies from their hips and goes splashy slashy everywhere he steps. Jason is a full-on bulldozer of graphic destruction. The censor’s board would have hated this. 

3- Classic Ash, baby! He is the man with the chin and the shit-eating grin. He pulls out all his classics here too. The witty charm, the goofball antics, and a revved-up chainsaw.

We’ve wanted to see what would happen if he ever got to fight either Freddy or Jason. At last, we get not just him fighting one of them but both! And, this story delivers. He fights both in their own respected fields of expertise too. For example, Jason throws Ash through a few walls inside S-mart. At some point, Jason loses a hand and takes a page out of Ash’s playbook, and shoves a machete into the meaty wet stump. That’s pretty awesome.

 

Ash also fights Freddy in a dream where Ash’s hand suddenly regrows itself and Ash gets to enjoy the moment only for a brief instant before razor-pointed claws grow from his regrown fingers. Ash has no choice but to cut the hand off again, spilling his blood on the dirty floor. Echoing events from Army of Darkness, dozens of bloody little Freddies pop out of the blood puddles and soon form together to grow into a full-sized Freddy Krueger. 

4. The fights are off the charts. This is a genuine monster mash slugfest. It doesn’t waste time rehashing what we’ve already seen from the FVJ movie either. No, this time around there’s a slew of new tricks.

For example, Freddy, being in perfect form here, uses necromancy to resurrect Jason’s old victims of the past to attack him.

You can tell the storytellers were having fun here as cameos from past films make their appearance to drag Jason straight to Hell. It’s a surge of nostalgia and frankly it’s appreciated.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, it’s a great monster mashup featuring all three beloved properties and it harkens back to the chilling crossover events Universal Pictures was known for the moment Frankenstein first met the Wolfman and the harrowing tale of the graveyard smash was born. Whatever your thoughts about the whole ‘vs’ movie craze may be it’s hard to deny what a wasted opportunity this project was. Freddy vs Jason should have been the foundation of what could’ve become the ultimate slasher evolution! Imagine a series of movies where horror films crossed over into one another and led characters into a fight for their lives against iconic slasher icons. Just imagine Chucky or Pinhead entering the conflict. 

the Hellpriest nearly made a cameo at the end of Freddy vs Jason

Maybe it would’ve sucked, but we’ll never know. What followed was the horrid and inevitable remake apocalypse. Every one of us had to watch our favorite horror icons get rehashed, reimagined, and rebooted in inferior ways by filmmakers who didn’t know the first goddamn thing about the beloved franchises they were entrusted with. I know which of the two styles of films I would’ve rather watched. 

Others felt the same way too if things like Terrordrome, an independent fighting game, are any indication. The game is free to play and features a wide roster of horror slashers to tickle the funny bone of any fan. Ash, Jason, Pinhead, Ghostface, Freddy, the Tall Man are just a few the game offers. Even professionals got in on the action as Mortal Kombat offered fans a chance to play as either Leatherface or Jason and hack it out in bloody magnificence. 

Fans wanted more of this kind of thing, bottom line, and at least comic books let us explore the possibility of what could’ve happened. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash finishes its story with an all-out battle atop a frozen Crystal Lake where Freddy is now fully empowered by the hellish secrets of the Necronomicon. Ash finds himself locked in the most dangerous battle of his life against Jason as Team Ash desperately tries to chant the incantation to send Freddy into another dimension altogether. 

Ash finds strength in his trusty boomstick and fires a face full of hot lead right into Jason’s mouth shattering his iconic mask and giving Jason a brand new ghoulish look that, honestly, I’m shocked NECA hasn’t capitalized on yet. 

Jason is then sunk to the bottom of the frozen lake in a way that’s closely reminiscent of how Jason Lives ends…that is if Jason was hit by a car and the weight of said car carried his rotting ass down to the dark and chilling depths. It’s still similar. 

The incantation is said aloud and Freddy is hurled into a nether realm of demons.

Jason is gone and Freddy is trapped in the Deadite dimension. Ash is victorious and all is well. The comic sold well too. So well that the inevitable sequel happened! It’s not over, bitch! Freddy isn’t dead and Jason cannot die! 

The sequel of Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash is kinda where the story shines brightest. I mean in this story survivors of both ANOES and FT13th appear. Tommy Jarvis and Ash do not get along either. Freddy’s daughter makes her come back here as well. It’s nice to see even more lore from both franchises get explored in this story. 

To be certain this is a direct continuation of Freddy vs Jason vs Ash, and, honestly, serves more like the second half of a two-part story than it does as a sequel. The stakes are now even higher and the surviving members of our favorite slasher franchises must team together to stand against ultimate evil,

It does get super fucking weird though with Freddy making out with his daughter in one scene. She’s totally into it btw and proves to be just as fucked up as her ol’ dad. Jason gets magicked up and grows some very unsettling long luscious hair. I … I really don’t know what the fuck they were thinking with that.

Oh, and Freddy becomes President of the United States with a whole army of Deadites at his command. You can’t make this shit up. 

And they went all out here. Already we’ve mentioned Tommy Jarvis but also making her return is Tina Shepherd from Part VII: New Blood, who was always one of my favorite final girls. Not to mention someone was a big NOES 3 fan because holy shit the Dream Warriors are back to fight Freddy’s evil Deadite army!

You might think I’m done, but you’d be mistaken because Nancy from ANOES 1, 2, New Nightmare, is back in spirit form to put a stop to Freddy for good.

That’s not to mention Freddy’s freakin’ mom, the nun herself, shows up to kick her son’s evil ass too.

Overall it’s one helluva fun story. This time they incorporated Army of Darkness into the monster mix and a war of ghosts and demons outside the White House brings the story to a satisfying WTF close.

You don’t need to read the sequel but then again yes you do. You want this crazy shit. It’s like the last slice of pizza you know you shouldn’t eat but you won’t be happy until you do. So you eat it and hate yourself later for it. In like manner you don’t need the sequel – I mean the first run ends itself satisfyingly with everything wrapped up – but I like to see these two as two halves of the same story.

So ultimately I feel this honestly is a must-read for any horror fan of the ‘80s and ‘90s. It was made by fans for fans. It features our favorite heroes and villains of the slasher era, combines them all brilliantly together, and pits them against evils so great only together can they work to bring back sanity to their crumbling little world. It’s not for anyone seeking highbrow horror though. This is Freddy and Jason with Ash, so you know what you’re in for. And the story doesn’t disappoint. It’s a perfect thing to dive into as you prepare for the fast-approaching Halloween season. 

Problem is the books are out of print and just a single issue can cost up to hundreds of dollars. I don’t know how I lucked out to get the full run when I did but if you find any issues in a used comic bend at your local comic store I highly advise picking them up. 

Realistically no one has that kind of money to order these online. Fans also don’t all have the convenience of a good comic shop or the luck of finding a full run at one. Happily, though there are audiobooks on YouTube that cover the whole story from beginning to end. It’s the easiest way to enjoy this nearly-forgotten story. 

This story came out at a time when horror was bloody good fun, and it reflects a lot of great nostalgia we could all use a bit of. Whatever way you find to experience it I do recommend you indulge in the antics and carnage waiting herein.

Manic out!

The Doppelganger Effect: The Horror of Remakes!

Chances are if you’re a long-time horror fan you’ve lived to see your favorite horror movie fall under the Remake Guillotine. ‘Guillotine,’ I think that’s somewhat fitting. Makes the process sound just as scary as we imagined it would be. We dreaded the news that Halloween, Poltergeist, The Omen, Fright Night and Last House On the Left were all lined up to be decapitated so new filmmakers could inspect the intimate moist jelly of some of the greatest minds behind titanic horror titles. Often times our beloved movies were nothing more than a quick cash in as studios banked on making bank just from a film’s title alone. Nightmare on Elm Street’s name would be more than enough to pull in an audience, or so it was believed. However, that movie proved to be dismal at the box office and left studio heads standing around scratching their scalps trying to figure out why. That’s part of the problem – the people (mostly) behind making these remakes do not get what made the original movies great, to begin with.

Slashers and exploitation films seem to have fallen victim most of all to this post-current trend. Both genres are notorious for their graphic use of sexuality and violence; normally, both are used interchangeably as a grotesque malformation of Life and Death. That’s the essential formula of the Slasher and Exploitation genres.

 

DVD Talk
image via DVD Talk

 

These are movies that elicit very negative feelings from their audience. We find ourselves somehow trapped within the Hellish circumstances of the tragic heroes and victims we set out with. For nearly two hours we will have our senses assaulted by hyped-up violence and the glamorization of helplessness against cruelty. Should you enter this seedy underworld of depravity and carnage don’t be surprised if you feel the need to shower once the credits roll. No one would blame you either. These are disgusting places we must stomp through. The topics handled inside are seldom pleasant.

Who in the new millennium would dare venture out with the goal to remake some of the most notorious titles in cinematic history? Never in my life did I ever think someone would get the gumption to remake I Spit on Your Gave. Then, that remake inspired two sequels, and, admittedly, I really enjoy the second movie in the trilogy. It offered us something new out of the familiar rape-and-revenge slough. But the idea alone that it was greenlit in the first place is astonishing!

 

What Remakes Get Right/Wrong

I remember back in the late 90’s someone had the bright idea to remake Hitchcock’s masterpiece Psycho. Why in the world was that ever an option? Just why? The movie happened and is nothing more than a shot-for-shot retelling of a film classic. Of course, it doesn’t hold a candle to the master’s vision. Now, on the other hand, the Psycho lore was rebooted via Bates Motel on TV and gained a successful fan following. Why did it work? Because it offered viewers something different out of the familiar lore.

 

Nerdist
image via Nerdist

 

Praise is due to the show Hannibal for accomplishing similar success. They managed to retell a section of the lore which we already knew, but they did it in a manner that had fans hooked and desperate to see what new grotesque beauties awaited us each subsequint episode. The storyline of Red Dragon has already had two cinematic interpretations, but this time around – even though it was technically the third retelling – it offered us something exquisitely new and innovative. Proving how the retelling of a familiar lore can (and should) be should be handled.

 

 

 

 

That’s where remakes work! That’s the key, the masterstroke of success! You see, I don’t attack remakes, I attack bad movies, and sadly most movies that are remade just suck. But there are plenty that gets it right. In the case of Hannibal, initially, I wasn’t prepared to like the series. How happy was I to be wrong once I realized how beautiful and profound this show was determined to be. It brought the stories to life, more like breathed new life into the characters, thus demonstrating how to do things properly.

Films like The Fly, The Thing, all of Hammer’s Dracula and Frankenstein movies, and even last year’s IT all proved to be successes. Why? Well, as I’ve already mentioned with Bates Motel and Hannibal, these movies work as remakes simply because they give us a brand new look at the familiar material. We’re not forced to watch a shot-for-shot retelling of a beloved title.

With the original The Thing, society was eaten alive with a growing paranoia that Communists could be living right next door. Who can you trust when there could be a dirty Red hiding just beyond your own front door? The Cold War was in full effect and was reflected in the spooky movies of that time.  When Carpenter released his updated take, The Thing no longer spoke about ‘neighbor danger,’ but focused on the terror growing in our own bodies. The 80’s decade was a war on drugs and unsafe sex. AIDS was a real threat and people were terrified. One moment a person could appear just fine and healthy, the next that same person would be diagnosed with a terrifying disease that would end in the grave. Society was very aware of how quickly our own bodies could turn viciously against us if we weren’t careful.

 

The Thing Wiki
image via The Thing Wiki

 

The Thing became a cautionary tale about how the body can transform with a viral enemy inside of us ready to malform our anatomy to suit its own selfish purposes. It’s no surprise that it was released during a time when people were being warned of cancer. It got to be that everything would give a person cancer. People couldn’t even feel safe breathing in the air they inhaled for fear of second-hand smoking – and you guessed it, that gave you cancer too. When you look at The Thing it’s a hideous amalgamation of swollen tumors that destroy and ruin all they touch. The movie was not well received in its day, but has now grown to cult fandom and is praised as one of the best sci-fi horror films of all time.

 

WiffleGif
image via WiffleGif

 

The remake of The Fly is about losing control of one’s own body.  All it took was one innocent night of carelessness. This body-horror classic has an underlining theme of cautionary sex, it may not be noticed at first, but once it is it’s hard to deny. Our unfortunate hero (Jeff Goldblum)  gets infected by an experiment gone deathly wrong. He took every precaution. He crouches himself into the womb-shaped sanctity of the teleporter he’s built. Everything is a go, but unforeseen to him, a single freak chance of fate happens beyond his grasp, a fly lands in the teleporter and the two become merged as one entity. The consequences are dire for him. It was a simple accident, one slip of chance and all of a sudden it doesn’t matter how cautious he was. He is infected, but he hasn’t really realized it yet. He has sex with his girlfriend because of course, he does. Once she learns of his disturbing fate his girlfriend (Geena Davis) has some vivid dreams about the consequences of sleeping with her infected lover. I’m saying the word ‘consequences’ an awful lot, but that’s what this movie is all about.  It’s pretty obvious that the social fear of venereal consequences is in play here.

I’m not one to argue that a good horror movie has to have come underlining social message in it to make it good. It could be simple coincidence,  or maybe some deep thought was put into the making of those films. However, my point was, in the case of these remakes and what made them work, they weren’t just a rehash of the original source material. They were social up to date and played on the current fears of the people. If you make a horror film then you better at least try to aim at scaring your audience for fuck’s sake.

The only way you can scare an audience is by engaging them with the characters, make what scares them scare us, and then, after earning our trust rip our hearts out. That’s horror.

theterrortime

There’s no doubt people hate Rob Zombie still for remaking Halloween, one of horror’s most cherished films. To this day that movie stands like a plague in the minds of many fans. But this is what I’ve gathered from most of the people who hate it. They seem to praise the first half of the movie but curse the latter half. The first half of the film is a complete departure from Carpenter’s vision. It’s a gritty and uncomfortable look at a domestic meltdown.

Michael is from a highly dysfunctional household. The making for disaster is found early on in the movie’s opening. Michael’s upbringing is anything but nurturing. His mother’s boyfriend is a screaming, foul-mouthed abusive man who taunts Michael every chance he can. Being the only male role-figure in his life, the man is only too happy to mock Michael’s premature sexuality, calling him girly names that almost echo John Gacy’s own abusive relationship with his dad.  Even Michael’s older sister throws around oddly arousing jokes at his expense. For adults, we can laugh at sick shit like this, but this is all very damaging for the young psyche of an impressionable growing boy.

To top things off, his mother is a local stripper and her intimate way of living is constantly thrown in Michael’s face by the run-of-the-mill shitheads at school. Combine all of this and you have the gathering elements of the perfect storm. One of destruction, pain, and misery. It will not feel empathy, it will be cut off from the social norms of what’s acceptable and what’s illegal. You have the disturbed making of a true psychopath.

 

Jarvis City
image via Jarvis City

 

This is the household environment that spawns the likes of John Gacy, Albert Fish, and Edmond Kemper – all of them real-life boogeymen. Killers, slashers, serial rapists; monsters in suits of men.

 

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This is not the Michael Myers we know, and that made him fascinating! This was a problem, a toxic danger that could be building right next door (or behind closed doors right upstairs). Were we going to get some actual psychological inside-looks into real-life murderers through the imaginative eyes of Michael Myers? Or, what I’m trying to say is, were we going to get inside of Myer’s mind? Would we see through the eyes of madness and true darkness all from behind his mask? It was really exciting. We already had a movie that followed the babysitters, so would this movie explore a very evil world that is hiding in plain sight all around us? That heinous world of the serial killer?

Oh, forget allllllllll about that, my nasties. It doesn’t take long for this to turn into a near shot-for-shot remake (oh sorry, ‘reimagining’) of Carpenter’s movie. People love to hate this movie and use it as the poster-child of poorly made remakes, but I have my own criticism of Zombie’s movie. That being: we almost had a great movie! Almost. Had Zombie just stuck with an original idea, something like following Michael’s journey into – not only madness – but also his heart of darkness; in essence, watch him become pure evil, and go on a blood-soaked murderous rampage. Make it an exploitation film, kinda like how it started out as.

It could have been great and I feel we got robbed.

And when it comes to Nightmare on Elm Street, instead of seeing the exact same movie we’ve all grown up with, why couldn’t we see the Springwood Slasher before he became the Dream Demon? Why not show us his vengeful demise at the hand of vigilante parents? Start out with him being a good neighbor, someone who would walk your dog for you. Someone you ask for an opinion, and who is glad to give it. Someone who loves his daughter and part of the PTA board. You know, like actual serial killers from the past? They always lived across the street. Why not give us that kind of movie, something we’ve not seen? Then pull the rug out from underneath us as we follow Fred Krueger down some very uncomfortable places, places where little skulls sit in the smoldering ash of a furnace deep in the depths of his boiler room.

 

Addicted to Horror Movies
image via Addicted to Horror Movies

Why not give us something like the rise of the Dream Demon?

Freddy could have come back and targeted the households of the parents who burned him alive and made it, oh I don’t know, something more relatable and personal to the families along Elm Street.

Eh, what I’m getting at is these remakes that are hated so much could have been good. They had potential and a chance, and that’s what I gave them – a chance.

Now whereas remakes don’t erase the original movie (thankfully), they do pose a problem for audiences nonetheless. A person can watch a really bad remake and not want to give the original a chance.

Cinepop
image via cinepop

Imagine if someone watched that awful Fog remake and then had no desire to see the original one? They would be missing out on a great experience. I kind of dealt with that. Thanks to Quarantine I had no interest in seeing [REC], like at all. In fact, I only just watched [REC] this year. That’s the problem with bad remakes – they may turn people off of some really amazing movies.

Not to mention we now have to distinguish which movie we’re talking about. My best friend was so happy when she bought me Night of the Demons for my birthday. It’s one of my all-time favorites and she knew I had been wanting it. Thing is, she bought me the remake (yes, that has a remake too) when it’s the original movie I love. Bless her heart, she was so thrilled to get me that Blu-ray though. She didn’t know there were two out there.  Someone else sent me Texas Chainsaw Massacre not knowing it was the remake. They honestly thought it was Hooper’s movie. There are too many remakes out there and it does get confusing.

Now we have a Suspiria remake to look forward to. Am I mad about that? No, and I’ll go to see it. Not only that, but we’re getting Pet Sematary, Tommyknockers, and honestly the remake train doesn’t look to be slowing down any time soon.

 

https://youtu.be/ylmDXfTA8rg

 

To be honest I’m excited. I know that may shock some of my readers, but this was not meant to be some ‘I hate all remakes’ article. I don’t hate them, I just want to see them done right. IT proved a remake can be done right, and, if done so, will be a massive hit.

So there you have it, my ghoulies. This has been your Manic Exorcism once again. I encourage you to not let bad remakes ruin good movies. Keep checking us out here at Nightmare Nostalgia for all your retro needs.  Now go forth to enjoy the horror line-up before us.

Happy Birthday to Horror King – Robert Englund! The Man and the Monsters!

For my generation no other actor embodied horror back in the blessed eighties quite like Robert Englund. He simply was the grinning face of pure evil. Of course, he wasn’t the only evil icon of cinematic terror in those days. Luckily we had plenty to choose from – Jason, Chucky, Michael Myers – but Robert Englund gave us Freddy Krueger, and Freddy gave us all nightmares.

 

Horror Freak News
image via Horror Freak News

 

Freddy was not hidden behind a mask and that set him apart from the rest. We could see the evil glint in his eyes as he taunted his prey and relished in their hysteria as slowly they realized how inevitable their coming demise was. Krueger had emotions and a sick sense of humor. He loved what he did, and his giddiness made us fall in love with his movies.

How can you escape a dream? That’s the genius of Wes Craven’s Nightmare on Elm Street. You can’t escape dreams – at least not for long – because ultimately you cannot run away from sleep. Our bodies simply demand rest. We can hold out for several days but sooner or later the body will shut down against our will, and there, in that ethereal state of slumber and vulnerability, the Dream Demon awaits. Freddy was the kind of evil that laughed at your pain as he found new inventive ways to kill each of his prey.

 

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Without Robert Englund’s enthusiasm and dastardly charisma the entire experience would have been, well not only different, but I have to wonder if it would have worked at all. As the remake proved – there just is no replacing Englund when it comes to Elm Street.

 

nightmareonelmstreet wikia
image via nightmareonelmstreet wikia

 

Originally, David Warner (The Omen) was up for the role and was Craven’s first choice to wear the razor-tipped glove. Albeit that would have been very interesting to see, but it’s still very hard to imagine.

 

ign
image via IGN

 

While Freddy ruled the dreamworld from his hellish boiler room, Robert Englund brought another monster to life, one we all knew of and that hailed from the classic age. Englund’s exploits would turn the Opera House of Paris into a bloodbath of carnage and lust as he finally went behind a mask and played The Phantom of the Opera.

This is a unique take on the French classic tale of obsession and murder. Don’t expect Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music in this one, but the movie is a full orchestra of violence and horror. Taking Gaston Leroux’s classic story, they turned it into a modern-day slasher classic as only the talents of Robert Englund’s sadistic manner could do.

 

Daily Dead
image via Daily Dead

 

But I would be ashamed of myself if I neglected to mention one of my personal favorite movies Robert Englund brings to life. As a matter of fact I think this movie would be nothing more than a rotting pile of rat dicks had it not his charisma and gritty charm to carry it. I’m talking about The Mangler.

 

cgentertainment
image via cgentertainment

 

Adapted from a Stephen King short story, this movie really shouldn’t even exist. It’s just so fucking stupid but in all the right ways. It’s a story about a killer laundry press, folks. And the mechanical beast is out for blood!

Ruling over this dingy abyss of broken dreams and sadness is our beloved Robert Englund. He is the manager around these here parts and doesn’t kindly care too much about whose blood gets spilled on the job. One accident isn’t enough to shut down business, people! You clean up the mess and forget it ever happened. It doesn’t matter how mangled up the remains are. You sweep them up and spray it away with the hose. Then get back to work! Now! No matter how mean your boss might be, I can guarantee few managers ever come close to the smarminess of this stuck-up dickhead. And we love him for it.

 

F This Movie
image via F This Movie

 

These are my three favorite roles he’s played, but they are not the extent of his colorful career. Robert Englund has been in Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive, 2,001 Maniacs, Zombie Strippers and so many more. Each one is worth viewing or re-watching.

 

IGN
image via IGN Entertainment

 

So here’s to Robert Englund. Thank you for giving us so many chills and thrills! May you see many more birthdays to come! We love you!