Tag Archives: Friday the 13th

Gators, Maniacs, and Cannibals: Top Ten Horror Movies From 1980

I’m straying from usual go-to form of doing these lists in milestone anniversary manner as last year’s shit show threw a machete in the machine; and I’m sure as hell not going to wait ten years to write it so here we go nuggets- Let’s talk about the year of our Horror Lord, 1980.

1980 begat the decade that brought us some of the most beloved horror classics and birthed an entirely new generation of fans with the Slasher enterprise. Although, many can argue over which horror franchise exactly started the slasher fiasco. Was it Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Black Christmas? Technically I’d say all are right. However, I want to say Friday the 13th, which of course debuted in 1980, did really kick off the slasher sequel phenonium the best and set the gold standard for what a good, classic 80s’ cheesy-gorefest should look like; and keep you coming back for more.

1980 was also the grand year of Jamie Lee Curtis with who clocks in with a solid three films on this list. After her massive success in her debut with Halloween, she was a definitely a hot commodity in the genre bizz. And for some reason or another, cannibals seem to be the popular go-to this year with more than handful of films at our disposal in this ONE year alone that include Cannibal Holocaust, Eaten Alive!, and Long Island Cannibal Massacre.

I don’t know man, those are all great, but it’s all about the man-eating oversized alligator for this horror girl over here that gets me excited to write this up.

So let’s plundge into those delightful, swampy waters of horror’s best from 1980!

10. Motel Hell

Motel Hell doesn’t get a lot of credit for being one of the great satirical, dark horrors of it’s kind. So let’s rectify that bullshit right now. It’s my goofy, guilty pleasure of this list and by judging from the above image, why question it?

Motel Hell is like the Scary Stories books, bridging your way into that gateway of horror with enough gore while having a chuckle at the same time. Hell, even the entry from the books “Wonderful Sausage” kind of reminds me of this movie. Which might be why I love it so much. Now, if you are familiar with “Wonderful Sausage” that’s really all you need to know, but for those who need a little context: A pair of siblings run a motel attached to a farm, and specialize in selling some of the world’s finest sausages… I’m fairly certain you get it now.

9. Terror Train

Ahh, here we go. The first of the Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis 1980 trilogy begins with Terror Train. The premise is simple enough and formulaic as far as teenage slasher pictures are concerned. A gang of fraternity guys and sorority gals charter a train to party yet a revenge, seeking murderer that is traumatized by past events is on board waiting to cut them down one-by-one. So what makes this one so special?

Well, it’s on a train for one. Which is pretty cool in itself as there’s really no where to go but so it really prepares the victim to either fight, or throw yourself to your death off a 100 mph moving train. I mean, that’s pretty terrifying. Also it’s Jamie Lee vs another Masked Maniac. It’s pretty cool for what it is.

8. Maniac

Before there was Buffalo Bill, we had Frank Zito. And man, he knew how to induce the skivvies all too well.

Coming out of one of the most vicious decades of prolific crimes against women (Ted Bundy, Ed Kemper), MANIAC flies on those fears in a very grotesque yet satisfyingly manner. With Joe Spinall writing and starring in the title role as a madman serial killer who does unspeakable things to his women victims, most notably taking their scalps and parading it on some of his mannequin heads with his buddy, horror icon Tom Savani behind the special effects, Maniac is a tried and true entry not just for this decade; but for the entire genre alone as a stand-alone WTF-fest that will forever haunt us.

7. Cannibal Holocaust

Not for the faint of heart, Cannibal Holocaust ranks right up there as one of the most fucked up films of all time. People had no idea that what they were looking at was real or just fake. The power of found footage-style horror movies all began here folks. And it came in with a BANG.

Love it or hate it, the message is clear. It is undoubtedly, one of the most highly gruesome and shocking films of the twentieth century. But the catch is, it’s well written too with a purpose. If you can get past all the gore, rape, and death (and if you’ve never went down this film’s rabbit hole, I can’t stress this enough to proceed with caution as it could trigger some anxiety in some), especially the animal killing scenes as they killed REAL ANIMALS on the set. Which I want to also stress, do NOT condone and have never watched the film since learning it. However, it does have it place in the ranks for being a breakthrough movie in its own by placing the point on the viewers themselves. Hey if you haven’t seen it and you’re curious, watch at your own risk.

6. Alligator

Sometimes all we want in a horror film is giant, oversized homicidal animal wreaking havoc. Films like JAWS and King Kong have shown us the way and now enter a cult favorite: ALLIGATOR. While it may not be seen on an OSCAR level as the former mentioned, ( and I goddamn could care less) it packs a punch, erm, chomp as one of the great horror films of the decade that is severely under-appreciated.

A tale as old as time: The star here, Ramon the alligator, is bought for a little girl by her mother as a new pet. But the fuckhead father doesn’t want it around so poor Ramon is flushed down the toilet as a baby and this just breaks my heart. He survives in the sewers by eating dead rats leftover by a lab who were experimented on with growth hormones by some dickwad scientists. And hey, you guessed it: he gets good and goddamn HUGE and people start disappearing. And you know what I say? Screw ’em. Poor Ramon could have had a great life and this little guy gets flushed down a toilet no less and then mutates into a freak reptile. Bad humans. CHOMP, CHOMP.

5. Prom Night

The Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis is disco-dancing her way into the top five spot with the classic teen slasher, Prom Night. Much like in Terror Train above, the antagonist is fueled by revenge with the death of a girl bullied by her classmates. The kids responsible are now dancing the Bungalow at the Senior Prom by being picked off one by one. Also worth noting the late, great Leslie Neilson plays the High School Principal and throws a bit of mystery in the mix of this “who dunnit” mystery slasher epic.

The film is exactly what it’s supposed to be but so much more fun that it should be. Sort of like Sleepaway Camp– you just gotta love it and if you don’t, I don’t want to know you.

4. The Changeling

I might get some blowback for putting this one high above others. But eh, it’s my list so I’ll have my moment. The Changeling starring the forever fantastic George C. Scott is by far, one of the most beautifully done haunted house films done in the genre and I’ll proudly die on this hill,

Scott may have been the reason this movie is so good, and that’s ok. He plays a widowed man suffering from the loss of his family. He moves into a new home that is obviously got some spooky shit going on it; like the ghost of a boy who died in the home. He enlists the assistance of his realtor (Trish Van Devere, Scott’s real-life wife), and things go WOO-SAW from there. It’s tension driven and a real nail-biter. Again, probably one of the best haunted house movies ever done but hey, that’s just the humble opinion of a horror-retro fan blogger.

3. The Fog

And now we’ve come to the end of our JLC holy trinity with John Carpenter’s The Fog. Beyond the Halloween star’s presence, the film plays host to mega horror stars like Adrianne Barbeau, Hal Holbrook, Janet Leigh, and the man, the myth, the mustache, Tom Atkins. And to boot, is the most atmospheric, visionally appeasing piece done by Carpenter even ’till today along with its colorful cast.

A California coastal town prepares to commemorate its centenary when a host of supernatural shit starts to happen. Inanimate objects spring to life. We stumble upon a dark secret about the town’s founding. Then a mysterious iridescent fog descends upon the village, and more people start to die. It’s a real wild ride once it gets going and a fun one at that towards the end.

2. Friday the 13th

And for those wondering, Jason’s birthday is June 13th, 1946. Although it’s common knowledge now, I gloat in the fact I’ve known forever because Jason is my birthday twin, (don’t get it twisted though- I was born 40 years later). As a woman, I gotta hit that one home. Anyways, the first Friday the 13th began in 1980 and had a sequel every goddamn year in the decade- with each and every one charming us into a Voorhees hypnosis clamoring for more until the steam finally let out in the early 90s’ with that really weird Jason Goes To Hell flick. Yeah I know, some of you really probably love it and that’s totally ok. But it’s also fair to say the films lost their way and it was time for zombie Jason to take a breather.

As the Jason saga unfolded throughout the 80s’, the first movie in the beloved series is a stand-alone masterpiece. The only entry in the films to NOT have Jason as the maniac, but instead his mother. Sorry if I just spoiled it for any of you who haven’t seen it but at this point in the game, I don’t even know what to say to those that haven’t except WHAT IN THE FUCK and just click the link below to remedy that please. Sheesh.

1.The Shining

And to the surprise of no one, Stephen King’s The Shining adapted by Stanley Kubrick is of course going to be number one! And why not? It’s just about the perfect damn, film to just about everyone- well except Stephen King but goddammit it’s good enough for me.

Inspired by his stay at the Stanley Hotel, King wrote one of the scariest stories of his career about a severely haunted inn at the heart of the Colorado Rockies. Rocked by numerous ghouls and poltergeists, Jack (Nicholson) and family are selected to tend to the Overlook in the downtime winter months. This doesn’t bode well with Jack’s highly intuitive son, as he senses danger before they even get there. From creepy hacked up twin girls hanging out in hallways to blood-soaked elevators, The Shining is an experience and a rite of passage for every horror fan. You just haven’t peaked until it hits you in your eyeballs and gives you multiple panic attacks.

As always, sound off below and let me hear your favorite from this list or tell me what a loser I am and add your own! Pick your poison!

‘Friday the 13th’ The Shocks and Scares That Make This Saga Legendary!

Oh, Hells yeah! Here we are, my Nasties! Time to risk our skins and venture deeply into the fog of Camp Blood as we explore some of the best scares, screams, and shocking moments (not to mention some of those good ol’ fashion what the fuck times) that are littered across the franchise’s blood-soaked legacy. 

It’s no secret that the slasher genre is my absolute favorite subgenre in the pantheon of horror. And my absolute favorite slasher series is Friday the 13th! It’s the series I’m always turning back to and can watch a hundred more times without it getting dull. 

Fans of the franchise know what we want too. Blood, guts, (tiddies), and lots of gore. So today we want to dance on the graves of those buried in the soggy depths of Crystal Lake as we celebrate those moments that made us shit our bloomers and left an impression on us all. 

Today we’re looking at not only the movies but also taking the game(s) into consideration. So sleep with one eye open, my Nasties, as we camp out at Jason’s lake. 

WARNING: there will be spoilers. 

Encountering Jason for the first time in the game – NES game

Just for shits and giggles, I’m not going to talk about the video game experience without mentioning the cult-classic NES game. What may seem silly and (probably rightly so) ridiculous today, but back then, back when we were far more innocent as a society, the NES Friday the 13th game did actually scare some kids. 

Back in the 8-bit era and with nothing else to compare to it, that first encounter with Jason was truly shocking. If not possibly the very first jump scare many of us ‘80s brats got to experience, I’d say this stands out as the all-time best NES scare moment. You play as a dumbass camp counselor desperately trying to save both your idiot friends – who can’t defend themselves – and a bunch of stupid kids all lined up and waiting to be slaughtered.

All the while Jason is out there and ready to charge in out of the blue making you jump to the moon and stain your undies.  

There’s no worse feeling like the absolute helplessness of trying to fight Jason and having no clue how to defeat him. Good luck out there, gamers.

Encountering Jason again all these years later. 

Now we’re adults and our games grew up with us. Gun Media and Illfonic brought fans and gamers an extraordinary chance to explore the movies (and the horror) like never before as locations, characters, and kills from the franchise were all poured into this passion project. Tom Savini came up with new ways to kill us. Harry Manfredini brought his terrorizing score to the game giving it a genuine feel akin to the movies. And Kane fucking Hodder put the mask back on and proved why he’s our favorite Jason as he brought the video game killer to thrilling life. 

There’s nothing like encountering Jason for the first time. He can just appear anywhere! As a camper, you can find yourself in a cabin and he’ll be outside the window watching you. Or he’ll catch you wandering the dark woods and stalk you until you run out of stamina. You can try to fight but you have very little chance of surviving him. Especially your first time around. 

I’m sad the game is now stalled and all future DLC is dead on the water thanks to the ongoing lawsuit, but there’s still enough here to keep me coming back to it. So, yes, I strongly recommend playing it.  

Ari Lehman in Part I

The first WTF moment that really, really got us. This scene still scares unsuspecting audiences. That’s how goddamn effective it is. Far as we knew the movie was over. The villain was slain and our lead heroine (Adrianne King) was safely sleeping in a canoe out on the lake. No one could reach her and as she awakens Manfredini’s calming score lets us know all is well and she’s safe. Roll the credits. 

Well fuck you straight to Hell, asshole! The music suddenly kicks us in the nards and flips the world upside down! Out of nowhere the boy who drowned, Jason himself, rises out of the lake, no, that sounds graceful. Jason breaks through the mirrored tranquility of the lake like the wrath of God, without pity and void of all mercy, grabs hold of Alice and pulls her down to his murky Hell. More people screamed over this scene alone than any other. 

And it turned a small time horror flick into a timeless legend. Horror fans clamored for more and would not be satisfied until they got just that- more Jason!

The Window Scene of Part II

Mirroring the jump scare of Part I, Part II makes it seem like everything was fine. Our Final Girl (Amy Steel) is safe, she’s escaped Tater-Sack Jason and all is well. 

Now bear in mind this movie has given us a whole lot of Jason to love. We’re first given a glimpse into his world, into the rickety shack he lives in out in the woods, but, more importantly, we are shown his insatiable taste for carnage! 

Jason is really mean natured too. Think being in a wheel chair gives you a free pass? Like Hell it does. Jason can’t wait to slam a machete in your stupid face and send you rolling down a flight a stairs. Bon voyage!

And the guy was just about to get laid too. Jason also kills poor ol’ Crazy Ralph this time around. And if you thought Alice (from the first movie) was safe, well think again. Jason kills the girl in the safety of her own home.

And at last, my nasties, this cinematic roller coaster of carnage begins clicking to an end. Unclench your knuckles, take a deep breath, and relax. But that’s when they get us! Jason crashes through the darkened window and snatches our Final Girl right before our eyes proving no one is safe at Camp Blood. 

Not a single soul!

Part II doesn’t get a lot of love but it did establish a lot of the lore and laws by which the franchise would follow and further secure its place as a legendary horror icon. It introduces the indestructibility of Jason and how fucked anyone is once Jason locks eyes on them. 

That ending in Part III

These endings were on steroids and had a boner for punishing their audiences just as much as their heroes. Well piss and shit, this one went all the way, and frankly it had to, if it wanted to not be overshadowed by its previous film endeavors. 

 Once again mirroring the first film our Final Girl (Dana Kimmel) is safely in a canoe out on the lake. Night has passed, she wakes up to a fresh new day. The terror has passed and good proves triumphant over evil, but we all know better. You ain’t getting us this time, Jason. Someone is going to pop up behind her and scare us to death …. oh holy shit what the Hell?

While we’re all looking behind her the real threat is right in front of her. In the upper room’s window!

She takes one look up at the house and there on the top floor is an unmasked Jason staring at her with murderous glee. There’s almost a childlike joy in his eyes when he realizes there’s still some fresh meat left over for him to cut up into meaty red kibbles and bits.

Actually we don’t know if he’s been there the whole time just waiting for her to look up and see him. If he has, well, jeez that’s eerie. Or was he there just by coincidence? Whatever the case this scene creeps me out.

I have a thing about windows any way…or maybe this is what started it all. But I’m really paranoid about looking out the window (at night time) and seeing some gruesome face staring back at me. So here it is, the one scene that scared a little boy Manic out of his skin. Bravo!

Part V Vic kills candy boy

Part V deserves way more respect than it gets. I love this movie and mainly because of two characters, Ethel Hubbard (Carol Locatell) and her dimwitted son Junior (Ron Sloan). They don’t have a single thing to do with this scene but I gotta sing their praises. I love those two and still waiting on NECA to make me a figure of them both.

Anyhow the scene I’m talking about is the one murder that kick starts the rest of the movie’s killing spree. And Jason isn’t the even the killer here. Vic (Mark Venturini), a muscled up and mentally disturbed young man, is out chopping wood (because it’s healthy to let a mental patient work with a hatchet) when poor dopey Joey (Dominick Brascia) walks over with chocolate smeared around his mouth like sloppy lipstick around a hooker’s lips. Joey offers Vic a candy bar, overstays his welcome, and only leaves once he’s pushed every single button Vic can stand. 

Vic puts that hatchet to use and severs the better part of Joey’s spine with it. It shocked people because it’s totally unexpected and so mean. But, let’s face it, Joey had it coming.

I’m Mrs. Voorhees – discovering who the killer’s been this whole time

Breaking all the rules right from the start by the time Betsy Palmer’s kindly character of Pamela Voorhees shows up for the final act (Friday the 13th Part I) the unknowing audience makes the assumption that all is going to be ok. Like the fairy godmother archetype of childhood folklore, Mrs. Voorhees carries a warm-hearted motherly presence with her and who can’t be enchanted by that lovely smile of hers? She shines, but, as we’re about to learn, for all the wrong reasons. 

This is a woman who met with tragedy when her only child drowned in the lake. “They were out making love while that poor boy drowned’ she recounts emotionally, condemning the carelessness of the camp counselors. And Mrs. Voorhees deals with her grief by slaughtering all who arrogantly dare to desecrate the last breathing grounds of her dearly departed Jason. 

That smile becomes a sneer as our Final Girl realizes this kindly woman is the one leaving bodies around camp. The final show down begins in fury as Mrs. Voorhees lunges at Alice and it had audiences shrieking with delight. 

“Kill her, mommy” Jason urges from beyond his watery grave. And Mommy is all too happy to oblige. 

Her role was so shocking and out of character that Sieskel and Ebert gave out the woman’s home address and implored their viewers to call and write her their many grievances. I don’t care how much you might hate a movie that’s just not cool, guys.

Freddy vs Jason tease in JGTH

Undeniably most fans would rather tickle their dicks with a porcupine quill than sit through this torture again. And according to Crystal Lake Memories, most of the actors aren’t that thrilled with this, well I guess you can call it a movie. In a failed attempt to look clever, JGTH introduces Jason’s never-before mentioned sister, has Jason talk in one scene, misspells the Voorhees name, and turns Jason into a demon worm that slides up a pussy. Or maybe it was her ass? Oh, who cares? It’s clearly an immature work made by college kids. 

Today it’s hip to like this movie and act like it’s some misunderstood masterpiece, but that can’t erase how terribly New Line treated their first Jason film after acquiring the rights from Paramount. As a ‘90s era slasher movie, ok I’ll admit it’s fun. Stupid fun, but still fun. But as the 9th entry in an already well-established horror franchise, it sticks out like a turd stubbornly hanging out of a dog’s ass.

However, love it or hate it, fans can at least all agree that final shot was awesome, at least at the time of its release. Seeing Freddy’s glove reaching out of Hell to drag down Jason’s mask left fans with a coveted glimpse into Freddy vs. Jason.  

Really there’s no reason why this couldn’t have just been Freddy vs. Jason rather than Jason Goes To Hell. Or they could have made a movie about Jason actually being in Hell. Kinda like the title implies.

Tommy Loses Control Part IV

Friday the 13th Part IV has some fan-fucking-tastic kills. But undeniably the best one was saved for last and it’s Jason’s own.

The moment stands out for a few reasons. For starters it’s a deliberately drawn out death. And it works. They meant to kill Jason and kill him good! So Jason gets brutalized and is left with no chance of surviving.

The other thing that stands out is who ends up slaughtering Jason – a little kid. Now it’s nothing short of brilliance that the film makers introduce Tommy Jarvis as some normal kid. Not a super hero and without any extraordinary gifts. Just a kid who makes cool monster masks and plays video games. Not to mention he was like all us guys back then and couldn’t wait to see some boobies.

As kids we wanted to be Tommy’s pal. And Cory Feldman was a really likable kid actor. He just had this innocent look about him, something angelic.

So when Tommy shaves his head in a clever attempt to connect with Jason and then lays the business end of a machete into the pretty side of Jason’s face it’s not all that shocking. Tommy’s just trying to protect his older sister… right?

But it’s when Tommy picks the machete back up and turns Jason’s body into a Cannibal Corpse album cover that the creepy factor rises. The manic look in the kid’s eyes, the ferocity in his face, and the wet sounds every time he pummels Jason all add up to a very disturbing experience.

Naturally we loved every minute of it.

The movie ends on a freeze frame of lil Tommy with that same crazed look in his eyes, hinting that the series may have lost one killer by creating a brand new one. Kids are creepy little shits anyhow and this movie drives that point home.

Yeah there’s no soul behind that stare.

This has already gone on way too long and it means a lot that you’ve stuck around for this long, my Nasties. There are still so many moments that shocked us and scared us silly, and this is just a small list of some of our all-time favorites from the series. Each one proves why Friday the 13th is a horror sovereign. We’d love to know which ones are yours so don’t be shy.

Need more horror in your life? Be sure to subscribe to Fangoria, who we’re now affiliated with, by clicking here!

Click here for some cool merch.

And for back issues and other slimy goodies click right here for Fangoria’s shop.

We really appreciate your support and wouldn’t be who we are without our loyal readers.

Kane Hodder Finally Has His Tommy Jarvis

I don’t want to scare anyone, but I’m gonna give it to you straight about Jason. Well, one of them. Come to think of it, the path may be more meandering than straight but we’ll get there, just stick with me.

To many, Kane Hodder is the definitive Jason Voorhees. From his spine-tingling introduction from the icy depths of Crystal Lake to his heaving breaths to what Robert Englund described as “his bulk,” Hodder incomprehensibly set the standard for a character that had already existed for six films when he first donned the hock in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD (1988).

Which was why Friday fans simply could not fathom that Hodder wasn’t asked to return opposite Englund for what had been the most highly anticipated film of the franchise, FREDDY VS. JASON (2003). After playing the masked maniac for 4 installments, the Kane era unceremoniously (and inexplicably) came to a close.

What’s worse, the Tommy Jarvis trilogy wrapped just before Hodder assumed the role, which meant that despite four takes, what many felt had been the finest portrayal of Jason never got to square off with his chief rival.

But that’s where a kinda-sorta Friday the 13th gift entered the fray.

Five years after JASON X (2001), an upstart filmmaker from Holliston, Massachusetts offered Hodder the role of another woods-roaming, crazed killer–and Victor Crowley was born.

While Adam Green had a trilogy in mind when production began on HATCHET (2006), he couldn’t have known that the villain he’d conjured at the age of eight (from stories about a hatchet-faced killer told by, ironically enough, camp counselors) would achieve icon status, no more than he was unaware that one of his original casting decisions would become what he has come to describe as his “secret weapon.”

Enter Parry Shen.

A consummate professional and on-set leader, Shen would go on to appear in a pair of Green’s Halloween shorts [THE TIVO (2008) and FAIRY TALE POLICE (2009)], and an episode of HOLLISTON, to say nothing of his roles in each installment of the HATCHET series, where Green has identified Shen as the true final girl of Honey Island Swamp.

Like Hodder in the Friday franchise, Shen has appeared in four HATCHET flicks, though it’s been more Shemping-but-not-really, because I, Survivor has played three different characters: Shawn, the hustling faux-boat tour guide in the original, his brother Justin in the sequel, and finally Andrew Yong, the paramedic turned wanna-be author in HATCHET III (2013) and VICTORY CROWLEY (2017), respectively.

Nestled betwixt the gore and the giggles, however, is the gift. See, with three characters over four films Shen is not the final girl of the series, but rather its Tommy Jarvis.

Let’s break it down. Hodder never got to square off with Jason’s nemesis, so Green gave him one. Just because the intent didn’t necessarily exist doesn’t make it any less true. In fact, on numerous occasions, Kane has commented that Shen is someone he just can’t kill off for good. Why does that sound familiar? To steal one from ROUNDERS’ Teddy KGB, “kid’s got alligator blood. Can’t get rid of him.” I mean, Louisiana. Swamps. Gators. It works, just let it be.

Look, three different actors played Jason’s frequent foe, so who cares if one actor has played three characters that Crowley just can’t dispose of?

I get it, Jarvis never died. But he did suffer a couple of wounds in A NEW BEGINNING (1985), and Jason did kinda-sorta drown him in JASON LIVES (1986), So, while Shen’s Shawn and Justin were both, shall we say, dispatched in the first two HATCHET pictures, with Yong, Shen now has a character who has narrowly escaped (twice) and like Jarvis been overwhelmed with trauma and fear.

It wouldn’t be surprising for Yong to be approaching Thom Mathews levels of vengeful should we get a fifth chapter of HATCHET because at some point you just have to assume that he believes Crowley belongs in hell and wants to see that he gets there. But then there’s that whole issue with Shen’s character being a bit of frightened bunny coupled with the mid-end credits glimpse of Marybeth Dustan (Danielle Harris) waiting in the wings.

Yong wasn’t the one who resurrected Crowley, but he was dragged back to the swamp against his will, so Jarvis-like similarities aren’t really a reach. Perhaps we’ll see a pair of final girls team to take down the Bayou Butcher, but the Honey Island version of Mathews and Jennifer Cooke just sounds better, doesn’t it?

Regardless, it’s sure to be a hell of a ride.

Ted White had Corey Feldman, Tom Morga was blessed with John Shepherd, and C.J. Graham battled Mathews, but Hodder never got his shot.

Until he wandered from a lake to a swamp. And found Parry Shen.