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Nightmare Nostalgia’s Best Horror Movies of 2024- And Biggest Letdowns

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Well, here we are, nuggets. The end of another trip around the sun, and 2024 has seen some shit. Some great. Some, eh, not so great. And then some utterly shitastic fails that I think we’ll never let developers live down. But there were also some unexpected surprises to make up for it. 2024 was one HELL of a year for the horror genre and I personally, haven’t seen as many great films in one year for some time. So, in true NN fashion, Let’s go over to be, what is solely my own opinions here, the very best of 2024 in the genre, along with some well-polished turds to mix things up a bit. To be frank, I HATE saying anything negative about any horror movie. The genre is something I hold precious, which in all honesty here, is why I choose to turn down a lot of horror movie review opportunities because being such a negative bitch is too exhausting. I firmly believe people should just go to the movies and form their own opinions, and never rely on some over-glorified asshat’s opinions on the internet that are no better than your own. Which is primarily why I do this only once a year for people that genuinely hold my opinions to some regard. That’s still wild to me. Sure, it’s a great way to spread the word on movies you may or may not have heard of. But, you can always do that without the smug notion that a film like LISA FRANKENSTEIN wasn’t up to your standards as a movie.

I’M TALKING TO YOU, VARIETY. Also, with all due respect, FUCK YOU.

Probably gonna catch some heat for that last statement from a couple of reviewers who rely on those clicks, But, all my fucks ran out a long time ago. For complete transparency, I haven’t seen EVERY horror movie this year, but I’ve seen a good chock; including the very recently released NOSFERATU, which by itself is a goddamn Gothic masterpiece. But some that I haven’t gotten in my eyeballs yet are: STRANGE DARLING, HERETIC, and TERRIFIER 3. So if they should be somewhere on here but not, that’s why.

More transparency: I’m really in no rush to actually (maybe ever) watch TERRIFIER 3 as I’m not on that bandwagon of fandom. I could barely get through the first two with the unnecessary length of the second paired with the awful acting. SEE?! Got me talking negative here. But, hey. Transparency is good, friends.

Anyway, let’s start with some positive!

BEST INDIE HORROR

“LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL“

LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL brings a refreshing take on found footage horror. BLESS THEM FOR THAT.

PLOT: In 1977 a live television broadcast goes horribly wrong, unleashing evil into the nation’s living rooms. David Dastmalchian plays Jack Delroy, a late night host who went from Late Night King to in the slumps with ratings, and here’s hoping the Halloween special he brings puts him over the hill again. Directed by Cameron and Colin Cairnes.

MY TAKE: LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL takes the essence of found footage paired with the formula of a simple plot and dial it up to a level that I’ve been waiting for someone to do for a long time. Even with being an active member in the horror community, I’m pretty damn good at avoiding spoilers and being able to go in blind on a lot of films. I just know what groups and people to avoid as far as the internet goes. So going in blind on this one probably made me like it even more so.

I’m an avid fan of the WNUF HALLOWEEN SPECIAL and this, while it is obviously much more polished out, gave me those same tingly nostalgic feelers while being truly engaged in the story at the same time. It FELT like I was watching a 70s program and not some new modern film. Effectively so, making what I was watching seem all the more sinister. Also, did anyone else while watching the movie swear up and down the skeleton in the audience was positively key to the plot? I would have bet money on that one, but alas, it was just a distraction.

The 70s aesthetic is absolutely nailed and while I DO get tired of the cliché of a little girl being “possessed” in a horror movie, at the very least they did something different with it all being a facade and not really the demon wreaking havoc, but Jack’s vengeful spirit of a wife instead possessing HIM and fucking ruining his life. Now that’s showmanship. Some of the last images, which I felt were beautifully executed, left an impression on me that this movie did something so right. And the journey to get there, was a wild ride.

BEST PSYCHOPATH

NICOLAS CAGE AS LONGLEGS in “LONGLEGS”

“MOMMYYYYY!!! DADDDYYYY! UNMAKE MEEEEEE!” will forever live rent-free in my head.

PLOT: FBI Agent Lee Harker is assigned to an unsolved serial killer case that takes an unexpected turn, revealing evidence of the occult. Harker discovers a personal connection to the killer and must stop him before he strikes again. Directed by Oz Perkins.

MY TAKE: I love the SHIT out of LONGLEGS and it etched an infinity love for Oz Perkins as a director for most likely, the rest of my life. The fact I really think that Nicolas Cage was just free to dial up his wild ass in this movie into a nightmarishly creepy serial killer that might haunt my dreams for the nest five years, begs to have some recognition here. Cage as Longlegs didn’t exactly have a ton of screen time, but the time he did have, he used well and it was memorable to say the least. However, it was also the right move because it just added to the tension and mystery of the character until we got the full scope reveal of just how insane this character actually is. He could eat a peach for hours, and I could praise his supporting role as 2024’s best psychopath for years.

BIGGEST LETDOWN

“MAXXXINE“

Oh, Maxine Minx. What an unsatisfying ending to this trilogy. But like all stars, ya’ gotta deal with not all of your films being winners.

THE PLOT: In 1980s Hollywood, adult film star and aspiring actress Maxine Minx finally gets her big break. However, as a mysterious killer stalks the starlets of Los Angeles, a trail of blood threatens to reveal her sinister past. Directed by Ti West.

MY TAKE: Man, I really wanted to love this movie. But unlike it’s predecessors, “X” and “PEARL“, MAXXXINE was the biggest letdown of 2024 for me. It was boring. predictable, and just… not good to put it simply. The whole movie seemed poorly paced. The filmmaking and aesthetic was beautiful enough, but it didn’t make up the fact I felt Maxine/ Mia Goth feels a little wasted here. She starts off confident and able to hold her own, yet the rest of the movie has her being very passive and practically having her desired fame handed to her instead of earned. It felt like a step backwards for the character.

The reveal of her father being behind everything might’ve worked on paper, but holy hell it didn’t translate well onscreen. The entire ending sequence is a mess,  and I just felt like the story needed more time in the oven before putting it to screen. Such a shame.

BIGGEST SURPRISE OF 2024

“THE FIRST OMEN“

I truly ate my own words when I decided to judge a film before I saw it. Which, normally, I NEVER do. But considering The Omen legacy and it being a prequel, can I be blamed, really?

THE PLOT: A woman starts to question her own faith when she uncovers a terrifying conspiracy to bring about the birth of evil incarnate in Rome. Directed by Arkasha Stevenson.

MY TAKE: When I heard they were doing a prequel to 1976’s THE OMEN, I rolled my eyes so hard they damn near fell out my skull. I immediately just thought “what a shameless cash grab” and never really gave it another thought until the movie came out, and the circle began really praising this film as something superb. Including one of my writer colleagues here on NN, Manic Exorcism who shared the same skeptism as myself but urged me to go see it as his mind was competely changed. I did. And it was.

Seeing as how so many prequels can be a miss especially when they’re leaning in on a beloved classic and our nostalgia for it, THE FIRST OMEN brings the vibe of the original haunting ambiance of the 70s along with some love for POSSESSION (1981) and origami’s it into a tidy love letter that was a nice surprise for me, personally. It didn’t rely on jump scares, it relied more on atmosphere and story. I can understand the newer generation thinking it’s boring considering what they grew up with, but for an older horror fan like myself, I really enjoyed and appreciated it.

WORST HORROR OF 2024

“NIGHT SWIM”

Coming soon to the Wal-Mart dollar bin, Amityville: The Swimming Pool

THE PLOT: Forced into early retirement by a degenerative illness, former baseball player Ray Waller moves into a new house with his wife and two children. He hopes that the backyard swimming pool will be fun for the kids and provide physical therapy for himself. However, a dark secret from the home’s past soon unleashes a malevolent force that drags the family into the depths of inescapable terror. Directed by Bryce McGuire.

MY TAKE: This was a random watch on HULU one night when nothing else seemed to be catching my eye and I should have just used that 90 minutes to sleep instead. The premise was interesting enough with the family pool acting out as some evil wishing well, so props to the writers for something unique here. But as intriguing as that is, it couldn’t save the film from the goofy CGI, the paper thin characters I never once gave a shit about, and a pool just doing whatever the fuck was convenient for the plot. The fact they tried to make the game, ‘Marco Polo’ scary was laughable enough. My advice, just skip it altogether and watch “Are You Afraid of the Dark‘s “The Tale of the Dead Man’s Float“. If you want a scary pool monster, that’s the way to go.

MOVIE I THOUGHT I WOULD LOVE BUT ENDED UP HATING

“ALIEN: ROMULUS“

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it’s really hard to fuck up an ALIEN movie. And yet, here we are.

THE PLOT: Space colonizers come face to face with the most terrifying life-form in the universe while scavenging the deep ends of a derelict space station. Directed by Fede Álvarez.

MY TAKE: I guess I should have seen this one coming. I’m also not a fan at all of Fede’s 2013 EVIL DEAD, because I’m sorry, that franchise doesn’t work without Bruce Campbell and I just couldn’t enjoy the thing. However, it’s an ALIEN movie that ties into the universe so what could go wrong? A lot, actually. While visually pleasing, I felt it had nothing new to say in the franchise.  It felt like they just put all the best parts of the other ALIEN films into a single movie and called it a day; hoping that fans wouldn’t notice or just choke on the fan service nostalgia. That was too lazy for me. Also, Deep Fake Ian Holm REALLY took me out of the film whenever he was on screen. It just didn’t match the rest of the movie’s great aesthetic, because, well, it was pretty bad. The movie felt like an ALIEN fan-fiction film rather than something cannon to the legacy of movies we’ve seen before. I’ll just say it, the last GREAT ALIEN movie was PROMETHEUS and I just haven’t seen that kind of love and care taken into the franchise since then.

THE INSTANT CULT CLASSIC AND FAVORITE FILM OF THE YEAR

“LISA FRANKENSTEIN”

Because it begs to be said once more: FUCK YOU, VARIETY.

THE PLOT: A misunderstood teenager and a reanimated Victorian corpse embark on a murderous journey together to find love, happiness, and a few missing body parts. Directed by Zelda Williams.

MY TAKE: LISA FRANKENSTEIN is everything I could want in a cult horror comedy and more. A coming of RAGE love story about a teenager and her crush, who happens to be a corpse is a Gothic romance fairy tale for the ages with some great comedy moments spliced with scenes that will hit you in the feels. Not to mention all the nostalgia and love of the late 80s surrounding it and the EDWARD SCISSORHANDS and HEATHERS vibes were felt hard- but the story was entirely its own and a fresh take on the FRANKENSTEIN lore that’s been done to death in the last 100 years.

It exceeded my expectations in a big way. Funnier, dirtier, sweeter, and grosser than I thought it would be. The style is cohesive, consistent and as much a character as anyone else! Like Rocky Horror it will very much be a cult classic Dammit (Janet)!  And not to mention Cole Sprouse does so much with so few lines. He took a page from Nicholas Holt and ran with it. Kathryn Newton does such an excellent job of tossing off Diablo Cody’s dialogue and selling it all the more as a true teenage stream of consciousness. I truly don’t even see any flaws in this movie at all and will watch this movie over, and over again with a smile on every time.

BEST OVERALL HORROR FILM OF 2024

THE SUBSTANCE

Coralie Fargeat, who wrote, edited, produced, and directed this modern body-horror Mona Lisa, is by far the best thing I’ve seen come out of the genre in some time.

PLOT: Elisabeth Sparkle, renowned for an aerobics show, faces a devastating blow on her 50th birthday as her boss fires her. Amid her distress, a laboratory offers her a substance which promises to transform her into an enhanced version of herself.

MY TAKE: Perhaps not since PET SEMATARY (1989) has a horror movie made me cry a blubbering mess. However, with THE SUBSTANCE it was for very different reasons. As a 42-year-old woman I felt all the things Elisabeth (Demi Moore) felt prior and during her wild journey. I’ve stood in that mirror for hours, obsessing over every flaw until I just walloped myself into a sad state of depression. All my life, I’ve suffered from body dysmorphia and an eating disorder that almost took me out as a teenager. I got down to 69 pounds and I probably should be dead, but I’m here instead bringing nostalgic and weird joy to the masses with the one thing that has always just been accepting of me for me- the horror community. *Just to be clear, I’ve been healthy for the last 14 years in terms of body weight and have gone through, and continue therapy on the matter to pull myself out of that. So, yay for me.

So yes, this movie hit me hard in the feels on a relatable matter. However, I feel like every goddamn woman on the planet can relate to the atrocities of being a woman in the social media age. Where filters make you feel more self-conscious than you already are along with, as always, setting unrealistic standards for what a woman should look like along with selling us Botox and dermal fillers up the ass so that we may achieve that glorious unpolished Instagram filter on our own faces. Then there was the younger, more perfect version, Margaret Qualley, beating the ever-loving shit out of Elisabeth- a nice metaphor for we, as women, beat the crap out of yourselves on a daily basis with harsh words. It wasn’t until it was too late that Elisabeth could see her own beauty and realize that she was always enough. And it had me thinking for DAYS on end what a powerful message that was. I mean, bonus that it’s a body horror with a TON of Easter Egg homages to a variety of great horror movies like THE FLY, THE SHINING, RE-ANIMATOR and so forth along with a bloody finale that rivals that of EVIL DEAD 2. It’s just everything I could ever want in a horror movie and more. It’s the absolute GOAT of 2024.

With all that being said, I wanted to point out that 2024 was not only a great year for horror, but also a fantastic year for women in horror. It truly felt like women horror directors and writers just dominated the fuck out of the genre this year and being a female in the game as long as I have, it makes me extremely proud to be a minuscule part of it in my own little corner of the horror community.

Or something like that…

What were your favorite horror movies of 2024? How about your most hated? Comment below and let’s have our last horror movie discussion of the year!

Retro Toy Corner

Five Vintage Toys Spotted Inside “Gremlins” Department Store!

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It’s that time of year when I feel justified in diving deep here on NN into my dork-fest mind, where I can’t help but scour the backgrounds of some of my favorite films to find relics of my childhood hidden within the scenes. With the holidays here, it seems obvious that GREMLINS would be the premium choice as the center stage for scoping some vintage toys seen throughout the Kingston Falls department store. And as we all know, GREMLINS is the goddamn greatest Christmas movie of all time (IMO), so toys, Christmas, and Stripe running around with a chainsaw inside (what is actually a Montgomery Ward) make for perfect timing here.

Being as how most of the scenes filmed in the department store in GREMLINS are pretty dimly lit, this posed as a real challenge and I spent a lot of time pausing, zooming in, and even had to break out my high-powered glasses for to actually make out certain items hidden in the background chase between Billy and Stripe; and I would do it again in a heartbeat! That’s the fun in all this, and I’m happy to the nerdy Lord’s work for the Internets to appease nostalgic nuggets like myself. This is the kind of shit I want to see on my feed, so I can only suspect those who follow me feel the same.

Anyways, enjoy what I found!

80s ET Faux-Leather Doll

So we’re gonna start with the most obvious one here all fans of the movie have seen-The ET doll shown here along with some Looney Tunes plushies from Warner Bros. The green jacket or blouse can throw you off a bit without a keen eye for observation, but this is, in fact, an ET vinyl doll that was mass-produced back in 1982 by KAMAR. Obviously, this ET doll itself was sold without any clothes, so production just threw something on ET to cover his naked ass for filming. Also, it’s a nice Easter egg in the film as in ET, the alien hides among stuffed animals from Elliot’s mom and the scene here has Stripe hiding among plushies as well hiding himself from Billy.

If you’re interested in purchasing a relic from your childhood, there’s a rough-looking one here on eBay for the nostalgic fan.

All the damn walking robots!

If there’s one toy that maintained consistency throughout the 80s, it’s the flashing walking robot. This toy was made by so many different companies and while they all looked a bit similar, there were very distinct differences in various models like missle launching, rolling, walking with their feet, to rotating a full 360 degrees. On the far left here, right before you see Gizmo come crashing through the scene, you’ll see one here that resembles the Magic Mike robot (heyo- not Channing Tatum) that was highly popular during this time made by New Bright. It was also known as Sonic Sam in some areas. I don’t believe THIS one in particular is a Magic Mike, as I could not for the life of me pinpoint the exact model, but it’s pretty damn close!

In this scene where Billy cautiously walks around after getting attacked with a chainsaw, we have a pair of robots anxiously waiting for the second round of Billy Vs Stripe. The red guy in the back has an upper body that rotates a full 360 with blinking lights in its chest which I do believe to be the Rotate-O-Matic Super Astronaut Robot made by Horikawa- who produced dozens of models of these as early as the 1960s! The white one in front looks to be another version of a New Bright model mentioned previously.

The Mad Magazine Board Game!

Behind an army of Odies’ and next to the Survive! game is the long-forgotten board game of the Mad Magazine game made by Parker Brothers that debuted in 1979! The game, in pure MAD fashion, is outright bonkers and basically is played the complete opposite of Monopoly with the person going bankrupt as the winner. The game will also have you doing some off-the-wall shit when you pick up cards that say things like, “If you like this game, cross your legs, sit on your hands, cackle like a chicken and lose 1 egg; also $500” or “If you are good-looking, stand up and imitate your favorite animal, and lose $2000.” It was a pretty fun game back in the day.

Barbie Remote Control Super Vette Car

Midnight Barbie Horse

Barbie Bath Set

In the same scene with the robots, there’s an awful lot of Barbie merchandise hanging around! First up is the 1979 Barbie Remote Control Super Vette Car seen on the far right on the shelves. This was the first remote control car vetted for fans of Barbie!

Next up is Barbie’s Midnight horse that first came to market in 1980 and was part of a long line of horses Barbie apparently owned since 1970. I should also note that the mold here, known as the “Dallas” mold is the same mold used for Rainbow Brite’s horse Starlight in 1983!

Lastly, we have the Barbie Bubble Bath set from 1984 that literally ALL young Barbie fanatics either wanted or had. Throwing Babs around all day in the mud, we needed a way to bathe her properly dammit. And if you had the Dream House, you had to have the bathtub.

Garfield Plushies!

You basically couldn’t go anywhere in the 80s and not come across Garfield merchandise. Whether he was stuck to a car windshield or you had the infamous Garfield rotary telephone, he and his immense appetite for attention was inescapable- and we wouldn’t have had it any other way! Produced by Dakin toys, Garfield plushies were available in just about every department store, even making his way several times to McDonald’s’s as part of a Happy Meal or holiday portion in the form of dolls, action figures, and that one mug everyone had when we were kids at Grandma’s house.

You know the one…

If the next time you pop GREMLINS into your VHS for a rewatch and start scouring Kingston Falls Montgomery Ward for other toys not listed here, I feel like I’ve done my good deed for the day. If you got a kick out of this, check out the vintage toys I spotted in SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT!

Editorials

The 80s Was The Greatest Decade For Christmas And Here’s Why

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Since the season beckons for it, I’ve been reminiscing about my childhood Christmases, and I might be biased because of my age- but they seemed pretty perfect. When thinking about it, I find myself transported to Christmas as a kid in the 80s and remember sitting on my knees at our bulky coffee table, marker in hand ready to do some damage, and making my list after browsing fat-ass Wish catalogs while watching commercials that tempted the WWF Wrestling Buddy out of me during Saturday morning cartoons. Christmas morning would come and finding those chocolate coins in my stocking brought such a shitfaced grin. Then unveiling your most sought-after toy or something such as a Nintendo Entertainment System with a side of ZELDA was like the ultimate high.

I was pretty stoned off this Punky Brewster doll in 1986.

Because I’ve lived through four decades of holiday seasons and have witnessed the change in attitude and structure throughout the years, I can confidently say that the 80s were PEAK times for Christmas. And well, Halloween too, but that’s another rant. Sometimes bigger isn’t always better. With the massive commercialism consuming the holiday at its core, today’s Christmas seems rushed through with little to no thought as we’ve become the generation of RIGHT NOW instead of building to the anticipation of the big day. Don’t get me wrong; I’m well aware the 80s were FILLED to the brim of Christmas consumer greed and commercialism. As a matter of fact, that’s pretty much where it started.

Let’s just blame it on The Cabbage Patch Riots.

Even with the birth of a yearly MUST HAVE TOY and what really became BLACK FRIDAY in the 80s, it to me seemed like a much more joyous time when it was not only more wholesome, but magical at that.

Christmas TV Specials

Christmas on the boob tube always was a whole event back in the 80s. Because of destination television and the lack of the internet, we had to wait with patience for these things to show up. I can distinctly remember having to check the TV Guide to make sure you didn’t miss A Christmas Toy. Garfield’s Christmas, The Muppets Family Christmas, etc, and the slew of Holiday specials that were vomited off into our eye sockets throughout the month of December. But what was really nice, was the whole family would watch them together, often with eggnog or hot cocoa. On top of such, every sitcom on television had its own Christmas special as well. From The Chipmunks to He-Man, they went hard as fuck to really drum up the Christmas spirit, and it’s why they remain a beloved tradition for many to this day. I mean, come on, would you rather watch Pee Wee and Grace Jones get into the Yuletide spirit, or one of the 500 Hallmark Christmas movies streaming services have put out over the last few years?

The 80s had The BEST Christmas Movies

I honestly don’t think there’s another decade that spawned a slew of Christmas films that have become modern treasured traditions than 80s holiday flicks. That might have something to do with Christmas movies of the 80s rearing into non-traditional genres like horror and comedy rather than just family-friendly, making it more appealing to wider audiences. Films like GREMLINS, NATIONAL LAMPOONS CHRISTMAS VACATION, and SCROOGED are absolutely necessary to watch, and it’s just not Christmas without a full 24 hours of watching Ralphie shoot his eye out over and over again in A CHRISTMAS STORY now, is it?

Know what I mean, Vern?

Christmas Began AFTER Thanksgiving

Listen, I put up my tree and outdoor lights before Thanksgiving too, but I also keep the Fall theme going in my home until the Friday after Turkey Day. When I was growing up, Christmas wasn’t shoved in our faces as soon as September, like it is now. The emergence of the evil one, Mariah Carey, and seeing the stores being taken over with glittery merchandise before Halloween even has a fucking chance to get some steam going, ruins it for me, and many others. Seeing Halloween blow molds being tarnished with dangled mistletoe hanging above them just sets me the fuck off. It just turns any excitement I have for the holidays into full-blown dread.

Instead of Amazon, We Had Wish Catalogs

To be fair, mailer catalogs still exist today, however, beyond schoolyard chatter and Saturday morning, circulars and wish books like this were our go-to for compiling our perfect Xmas list.  I would peruse these things for hours, circling and folding the corners of the pages before changing my mind several times on different items and then handing them to my parents for reference. It was just much more exciting than scrolling and one-click buying.

Or We Exclusively Had Mall Shopping

A lot of your December was spent in indoor Malls, finding that perfect gift you spotted in one of those Christmas catalogs. And that was mostly OK because, it was a whole damn event and the mall was always decked to the absolute nine in Christmas decor with Santa right in the middle of all of it ready to take pictures with the mile-long line of children waiting.

Christmas Decorations Just Looked Nicer

A Patti PaulterGeist XMAS circa 1985

Completely asymmetric. Covered with tinsel and glass ornaments. Furnished with colorful giant light bulbs. Christmas trees had a special feel to it up until the 90s where they started becoming more “sleek” per se. A great 80s Xmas tree had a hodgepodge of ornaments that ranged from glass to satin balls like these bastards right here.

Oh, and sparkle. LOTS OF TACKY TINSEL SPARKLE that would make an entire mess and get stuck in the shag carpet. Or in between your poor cat’s teeth.

And then, of course, there were the big old-fashioned family get-togethers that have sort of become passé as time went on, and the internet allowed people to just connect with family day to day throughout the year more easily. Personally, my family has never broken that tradition because Christmas Eve is the night of our great Italian fish and pasta feast and the night where no matter how pissed off cousin Tony is at Uncle Pasquale, that shit is squashed in honor of Clams Oreganata. Yeah, and I guess Christmas as well. As long as I got that badass Rancor Monster from Star Wars, thank you very much.

Actual shot of me and my grandfather, Christmas 1984.

The times just seemed more meaningful back then. We were made to slow down and wrap ourselves in the very thing the holidays are supposed to make us feel — joy. Nowadays, we’re just rushing around like chickens with our heads cut off just trying to keep up with everyone or the Jones’ next door for the sake of social media likes and clout. We all know at least one person who does it. Now, instead of pure joy and warmth, it’s just headaches and nostalgia for how it used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy Christmas as much as the next person- as long as I have my Ibuprofen handy.