Category Archives: Editorials

The Addams Family, TMNT, and Captain Planet! The 1991 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!

Hard to believe it’s been 30 years since the first real, and fuckin’ awesome, Addams Family flick. As surreal as that all seems, the first time I saw the perfectly cast Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams was not in the film itself, but rather the 1991 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade along with Pugsly (Jimmy Workman), Grandmama (Judith Malina), Lurch (Carel Struycken), and of course Cousin It riding a float mocking their 001 Cemetery Lane home.

The Addams Family film was a huge affair (I mean, it was for me anyway) during the 1991 holiday season and opened up officially in theaters just days before Thanksgiving that year. So naturally, banking on the tremendous advertising campaign the Macy’s parade brings as millions watch from home with the smell of turkey basting in the oven, Paramount used the traditional event to promote the movie- and man was it ever long overdue as the original cast of the 60s’ series never got the Macy’s treatment like their parallel monster family, The Munsters and it was a damn travesty- at least until 1991. Still, it would have been sweet as hell to see John Astin and Carolyn Jones in a Thanksgiving Parade during their heyday.

Anyways, beyond the fact The Addams’ infiltrated the sacred Tom Turkey-led march of helium madness, it was a VERY special year for the annual event as it was celebrating its 65th anniversary! Hosted by Willard Scott and Katie Couric, the lineup was every bit as entertaining with Ninja Turtles in cars, a stiff as hell Captain Planet, and a drunk Kermit the Frog balloon!

Ok, not drunk but winds provided some challenges that day and poor Kermit’s head got popped during the walk down Broadway.

Besides getting to see The Addams crash the parade, one of my favorite things about this particular year was the Ninja Turtles. In their second year appearance after the explosively cool 1990 film, the foursome donning Santa hats cruised down the parade in a couple of 1961 Cadillac convertibles like the true gangsters they are. Now that’s really all there is to it, but it was pretty awesome nonetheless.

The final highlight for me was the Captain Planet float. Again, nothing crazy spectacular going on here performance-wise but rather a stiff-looking Captain Planet on a very pretty Earth-themed float decorated with flowers and just aesthetically pleasing to my senses. Although it was years before Jingle All The Way, Captain’s stance is giving me serious Turbo Man vibes.

*Sorry for the ultra pixelated snapshots here guys.

The full parade can, of course, be found on YouTube- uploaded into two parts by user Major League Pong Gods. Time Stamps for the above highlights are all located in Part 2, but if you’re anything like me, you’ll just watch the whole damn thing in all its cheesy glory.

Addams Family float at 19:05

TMNT at 12:37

Captain Planet at 39:40

KENT BROADHURST ELEVATED ‘SILVER BULLET’ FROM CAMP TO CLASSIC

It’s a phenomenon that has existed since the advent of cinema. A day player walks onto a set and so dominates a scene that it comes to define the picture.

Thirty-six years ago–October 11, 1985–with Corey Haim on the cusp of becoming a household name and Gary Busey at the height of his stardom (just six years removed from a Best Actor nomination), it was a character actor from St. Louis, Missouri who held audiences rapt for 103 beautifully agonized seconds.

SILVER BULLET was an adaptation of Stephen King’s Cycle of the Werewolf novella that told the tale of a lycanthrope terrorizing the town of Tarker’s Mills, and the young, wheelchair-bound boy (Haim) trying to stop him.

Too often, werewolf movies focus on carnage and transformation scenes, and as a result fail to connect with viewers on a personal level, but SILVER BULLET was not most werewolf movies.

When Marty’s best friend was torn apart by the beast, King (who also penned the screenplay) and first-time director Daniel Attias elected to make said murder more than a blip on the body county radar and instead used it as the vehicle that would propel the rest of the film.

Angry townsfolk, at that point convinced that the culprit in the untimely and brutal deaths of their neighbors and friends was a psycho wandering the woods, assembled at the local watering hole to devise a plan to put a stop to the unseen monster terrorizing their home. They were planning private justice.

The appetizer to Kent Broadhurst’s game-changing main course.

When Sheriff Haller (Terry O’Quinn) stormed into Owen’s Bar to order the throng back to their homes, local loudmouth Andy Fairton (the ever reliable Bill Smitrovich), upset that he’d been defeated by Haller in a recent election for the constable position, attempted to discredit the lead lawman with the proclamation that Haller “couldn’t catch a cold.”

Pub owner Owen Knopfler (Lawrence Tierney) immediately sniped “shut up, Andy” but Fairton’s “don’t tell me to shut up” was interrupted by an off-camera, almost whispered, “Yes. Shut up.” Everything came to a screeching halt as that camera panned, and Broadhurst assumed center stage.

Portraying Herb Kincaid, the father of Marty’s slain friend Brady (Joe Wright), Broadhurst stepped to the fore and shared that he’d just come from his son’s funeral. Haller quickly moved toward Kincaid in an ill-conceived attempt to comfort him with “I know how upset, how grief-stricken you must be.”

Orbs reddened from mourning, Kincaid responded “upset? Grief-stricken? You don’t know what those words mean.”

When Haller acknowledges that he knew that Kincaid’s son had been torn to pieces, Broadhurst pulled a crime scene photo from within his jacket and offered a glimpse to the would-be militia, roaring “my son was torn to pieces!” A cut to the armed and bundled inhabitants of Owen’s Bar was all of us: heartbroken and incapable of response, because what do you say–what can you say–to a parent who so gruesomely lost a child?

Broadhurst refocused his simmering sorrow upon Haller, and with exhausted eyes wondered aloud “and you come in here and talk to these men about private justice?” before sneering “you dare to do that?”

At that point, it was Quint waxing Indianapolis a decade later: every screening room in the country where SILVER BULLET was playing sat tomb silent.

“Why don’t you go out to Harmony Hill,” a brief pause allowed a disgusted snarl to form on Kincaid’s face at the officer’s ineffective investigation before he forced himself to say his name, “Sheriff Haller, and dig up what’s left of my boy Brady, and explain to him about private justice.

Would you wanna do that?!”

Though the interval between that query and “as for me, I’m gonna go out and hunt up a little private justice” was but mere seconds, it hung in the air for what felt an hour, because Broadhurst’s somber-turned-seething speech made us believe that the anguish behind it was authentic.

In that moment, SILVER BULLET was no longer a goofy werewolf movie where gore and mind-boggling practical effects were the highlights, but a story about loss and fear and pain, because Broadhurst communicated quite clearly that deaths in this film were not entertaining, they were excruciating.

It was an execution that any actor would be proud to call their own. An entire career of stage and screen work culminated in less than two minutes that opened the door for the very human performances to come from Busey and Robin Groves and Megan Follows.

You can have the transformation from AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF (1981), I’ll take a minute and forty-three seconds of Kent Broadhurst every time out of the gate and regret nothing.

(Broadhurst begins at 1:17)

Halloween 4 Is The GOAT For Halloween Nostalgia

I’m slightly obsessed with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers as this is the Halloween film I probably watched most as a kid on VHS. Growing up with a father who saw the original in theaters and is just as obsessed with the series, fate would have it that this love for the franchise would trickle down the gene pool as well. Hell, I even find a bit of charm in Dangertainment for fuck’s sake. That’s commitment, and I’ll fight you to the death if you utter any slight against Season of the Witch. However, as much as I love all the films and the original is an untouched classic that will forever hold the top spot as Halloween cinema champion, Halloween 4 is the GOAT for retro Halloween fuzzies and the best film in the series to put you into that spooky season feeling.

The opening credits

I’d be hard-pressed not to say this might be the BEST opening in the entire franchise. Had Loomis not screamed, “You don’t know what death is,” and had a skull pumpkin intro in Halloween II, well then shit there would be no contenders. The opening sequence here to the long-awaited return of the Shape after fans booed Halloween III into the pits of cinematic hell (only to be resurrected beautifully later), is the perfect stage of sinister Autumn ambiance set in the silent, yet spooky Midwest. The simplicity of this adds an uneasiness to the air, that something evil is lurking and foreshadowing the chaos to come. And that’s something the 80s’ is infamous for via the Halloween holiday. The simplicity of it all with janky homemade decor strung about that adds a slight edge over any animatronic you might find at any Halloween superstore. It’s eerie as fuck and captures the setting of a 1988 Halloween small Midwestern town perfectly. As a matter of fact, this opening alone needs all the awards. Can we make that happen already?

Jamie’s School

The scenes’ in Jamie’s school are both frustrating and beautifully nostalgic. While you want to punch the shit out of these kids for saying these awful things to this poor kid, the scenic atmosphere that rings all the nostalgic bells in my Spidey Senses goes off at a flashgun rate. From the noisy plastic costumes with the Ben Cooper masks to the die-cut Halloween décor plastering the halls of the school, it makes for one HELL of a nostalgia-fest; including the bullying aspect. We’ve all been there- hopefully not to this extent, but we all know kids can be ruthless bastards.

Vincent’s Drug Store

Aside from the opener, Vincent’s Drug store scene is my absolute favorite part of this movie. My Goddess, it’s like a wave of childhood memories drowning me in my own nostalgic mojo goo. Aside from all that, it’s a fairly crucial scene as this is where Michael picks up his mask for the movie. Dwight H. Little did an excellent job here much like with the rest of the film, capturing the ambiance of a 1980s Mom and Pop shop during the Halloween holiday season. I’ve studied this scene dozens of times. it’s a fun little activity if you’re bored, and there is a TREASURE TROVE of Halloween memories found within Vincent’s Drug. Apart from the cool wall of masks, I’m sure most fans of the film have seen what I’m talking about it here, but in case you need a refresher…

Like a Garbage Pail Kids plastic costume!

Halloween Blow-Molds! *Upper right corner*

And of course the infamous dangly spider we all had along with a Nightmare Makeup Kit!

And finally, the 80s’ ambiance of trick or treating

Aside from Halloween III, the Halloween films don’t really focus on this all-important aspect of the holiday. In H4 however, we got a whole part of the movie dedicated to it as a set-up for the looming evil that is following Jamie and Rachel. Something about the gloomy blue and black hues scored with a bunch of kids running around in their garbage bag costumes just gets me feeling fuzzy about the whole thing. Also, the Halloween decorations (again) give into that nostalgic feeling of happiness. Numerous jointed skeletons are found in this movie. And I can’t seem to get enough of them.

So there it is. The GOAT for Halloween movie nostalgia. I SAID IT. If you don’t own it, pick it up for yourself; I highly suggest the new 4K version here from Amazon!