Category Archives: Editorials

“Weekend at Bernie’s II” is the Superior Film

Image February 14, 2018 Dev Crowley Leave a comment

Nothing makes you feel older than the things you loved from your childhood coming back into fashion and being called “retro.” Fuck! It is that time already? The movies I grew up on were some of the funniest, silliest and most entertaining movies and compared to today’s standards seemed more wholesome, even when they weren’t. One of my favorites was the Weekend at Bernie’s movies.

Only two movies in the line, the idea was hilarious. Two poon hounds (Andrew McCarthy and John Silverman) find out someone is embezzling from the firm they work for. Little do they know the embezzler is their boss they reported it to. He invites them to his beach house as a “thank you” (aka come get super murdered) but not before getting himself assassinated by a mafia man for fooling around with his girlfriend. The guys show up, Bernie Lomax(Terry Kiser)is dead, but they pretend he is still alive, confusing the hitman and essentially putting them in the line of fire.

If that wasn’t enough felony fun for you, Weekend at Bernie’s II brings voodoo into the mix. To try and find the money that Bernie embezzled, a cartel hired a voodoo priestess to raise Bernie from the dead to lead them to the money in St. Thomas. However, the voodoo goons fuck up and Bernie only moves when he hears music.

Just re-watching that scene to write this had me howling. This movie is comedy gold, if only for the dead man dance. I can’t count the number of times I have performed the Bernie flop and shake and Kiser is a trooper in this movie, too. The slapstick physical comedy in this movie is pure 80’s/90’s charm. I fucking lost it during the harpoon scene. But why is Weekend at Bernie’s II the superior film? Because the corpse of Bernie Lomax gets the chance to truly be its own character. In the first one it was all about the wacky scenarios that McCarthy and Silverman got into, but in this movie, it’s, “OMG, where the fuck did Bernie go? Shit, he danced into the damn ocean.”

The first movie was necessary to set the tone and solidify the characters and the second movie was their chance to really have fun with it. It wasn’t silly on the level of Mel Brooks, so it still felt original and not like a parody. Much like with Ghostbusters, I prefer the second movie over the first. Uh oh, I can already hear the angry mob gathering on that one.

When it comes to movies from this time period, Weekend at Bernie’s II is right up there with Captain Ron and The Burbs. And You’ll be hearing from me about The Burbs in the future.

Weekend At Bernie’s II

Editorials, Horror Nostalgia

That Deleted Scene From “The Fly” That Made Audiences Vomit

Image February 7, 2018 Patti PaulterGeist 8 Comments

Apart from being one of the most beautifully put-together horror movies of the 20th century, (and a remake at that!) Cronenberg’s The Fly might also be the one that induces the most nausea.

I mean, come on. Those of us with that serious gag reflex upon seeing others vomit have to pop a roll of TUMS before a viewing.

Blowing chunks of sugary Hostess donuts aside, the official theatrical release wasn’t even the worst of it. For those unaware, there was a scene so vile, so grotesque and disturbing that during an initial screening in Toronto, it made audience members queasy and a tad upset to say the very least.

In the cut scene, Brundle (Sir Jeff of Goldblum) seeks to reverse his ever-transforming state by teleporting a baboon and a cat from the two telepods into a third while keeping their molecules separate. Instead, it fuses them into a very disturbing “mistake” that he ultimately clubs to death to put Monkey-Cat out of its misery.

According to Producer Stuart Cornfield, the theater guests were disgusted to the point of projectile vomit. The movie has some pretty nasty scenes that could definitely make someone gag a little (as stated), but I suppose this really was just a bit much for some. Apparently, the general public didn’t take to kindly to Brundle experimenting on helpless animals and then bludgeoning them to death.

And it was never seen again until a special two-disc DVD edition was released from 20th Century Fox came about.

My personal take:

The scene had it been kept in, would make some folks take away any pity they may had for Seth, turning him from a helpless victim to an animal-murdering dickbag. However, I can see what they were ultimately aiming for. What I personally see through my own eyes, was an act of complete desperation. Brundle was halfway through his transformation and scrambling to find a cure as time was running short. You could see the defeat in his mangled face after the terribly gone wrong experiment on the roof, and ummm, ripping off an insect leg that had spawned from his stomach with his mouth. The whole scene is slightly painful to watch, but at least for me, not in a bad sense. There are a LOT of scenes from this film that will make you squirm. In my opinion, the scene with the dog in The Fly 2 was way worse than this.

But hey, you be the judge of that!

The Fly (Two-Disc Collector’s Edition)

Editorials

That Freaky Poltergeist Super Bowl Poster That Predicted the Future

Image February 4, 2018 Patti PaulterGeist 1 Comment

You know, because the whole history behind the infamous alleged Poltergeist curse wasn’t creepy enough. Perhaps you’ve heard of this one before but in the case this all news to you, get ready for one hell of a mind-fuck.

I’ll admit, I never noticed this little-added touch of mystery and freakiness about the film until about three years ago myself when it made a few internet rounds on various websites. However, the earliest article I can find on the subject itself (to give proper credit here-May 2012) is a little piece from TheBackRow.com pointing out the eerie coincidence.

In the year Poltergeist was released, 1982 helmed the 16th annual Super Bowl. Ok, big deal. Well, in the picture seen below you’ll see something that sticks out like a sore thumb in the midst of Robbie’s Star Wars and Alien movie posters. A Super Bowl poster hanging right above Carol Anne’s older brother’s bed. Again, who cares right?

Look again- at the date to be precise.

Image via Imgur

Now, that’s a little strange because I don’t recall the film being set in the future of 1988. So apart from just being really weird, why the hell is there a 1988 Super Bowl poster being seen six years in the future of the present? Unfortunately, I really have no unearthly idea. Misplaced timelines aside, here’s where it get’s downright freaky…

Ok, so the 1988 Super Bowl between the Redskins and the Broncos landed on January 31, 1988. Which marks the day young Poltergeist star Heather O’ Rourke fell fatally ill and consequently, died the following day with a confirmed report of septic shock due to intestinal stenosis. Due to the nature of cast and crew involved with the film, or any sequels for that matter dying off shortly after filming; it’s hard to not at least acknowledge the very real spooky factor underneath it all.

Nov. 1982 Dominique Dunne- murdered in her driveway by strangulation.
Sep. 1985 Julian Beck- passed away from pancreatic cancer months before the release of The Other Side. (Diagnosed before accepting the role but worth mentioning)
June 1987 Will Sampson- died of malnutrition and postoperative kidney failure.

With the addition of Heather ‘O Rourke’s death February 1, 1988, four months before the release of her final film Poltergeist III, fans believe the above-seen poster eerily predicted the young actress’ untimely death and thus expanding on the widely known curse of the Poltergeist films. Even the most skeptical individual has to admit that’s just fuckin’ weird.

Oh, and Super Bowl took place in San Diego- O’ Rourke’s hometown and place of death.

Let that sink in for a minute.

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