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Editorials

The Lost and Forgotten Versions of “Hellraiser III”

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It’s proving to be quite the lucrative Halloween for Hellraiser this year. For the first time ever, the (in)famous Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios have finally given fans the ultimate chance to truly experience the grizzly horrors that await them behind the riddle of the musical puzzle box. Fans walk, most willingly I must add, through the gaping rift of a giant-sized Lament Configuration as they traverse the blood-strewn familiarity of scenes to assault the senses lifted straight from the iconic early films. Through the infernal threshold, you take your final steps into a world beyond all human experience where pain is worshipped, and the flesh can no longer hide the soul as it’s torn apart.

Since the rights of the franchise are safely back in Clive Barker’s protection, he’s been busy giving fans what they wanted – more. We are simple little things that follow desires no matter how debasing they may be, and we love to consume, so consume on.

For example, Hellraiser has been a primary focus with the fine maniacs over at Trick or Treat Studios, as the team behind giving fans so many nightmares has made it their goal to bring us top-of-the-line masks of the Order of the Gash. They’ve also determined no home is complete without a Lament Configuration sitting on the living room’s coffee table. This replica opens too, so you never know if you’ll be willingly opening the seal to Leviathan’s damned regions. Play with care, kiddies.

On a smaller scale, the same studio is set to release some of the most impressive Cenobite figurines I’ve seen. Originally, NECA held the rights and early in their career released nearly every character from the movies—whether we wanted them to or not. They eventually produced an Ultimate Pinhead, and I waited and waited for them to create the rest of the Cenobite order, but it never happened. Thankfully, Trick or Treat Studios is now releasing the original four Cenobites in an 8-inch scale, which is a significant upgrade from the previous NECA releases. I can’t wait to have them haunting my shelf as soon as they become available.

Let’s not forget the immersive video game, Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Revival, now taking up our time. It’s yet another chance to delve into the gruesome world beyond the puzzle box. That and Hell, I nearly forgot a brand new comic series is being published at the time of writing this.

Fans are rejoicing after so many years of suffering through far too many sequels, and I’m too lazy to look up how many are out there, but it was pushing double digits and giving the fucking Children of the Corn franchise a run for its money. Then we got a miserable little remake that completely misses the point of what made the original films so legendary.

This rancid stream of putrescent cinematic sins began with the inclusion of Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth. Released by a new studio, Dimension Films, and desperately competing to win over some of Freddy’s big money, Hell on Earth malformed the very being of the Hellpriest (Doug Bradley) by trying to reduce him to a slasher role. I mean no offense to fans of this movie, and no offense to the slasher genre at all. The truth is, Hellraiser was never a slasher piece. It’s more of a splatter film, if anything. One ripe with depth and leaves you feeling uneasy upon viewing it.

Hell on Earth‘s become a cult classic over the years with arguably one good scene (the church, it’s the church scene), and it really does want to up the blood here but still manages to shit the bed. The third installment greatly differs in tone from the first two movies, which are both legendary, especially the first, which is a horror masterpiece, and that’s this film’s greatest iniquity.

All of the lust and philosophy are lost here, and it leaves the film, however ambitious it was, feeling soulless. The heart that beat and bled across the previous two films was missing here, and the same is true for every movie that followed carrying the Hellraiser moniker, leading our beloved Hellpriest on a catastrophic quest of mediocrity that got stupider and stupider as the movies rolled out.

The pigs at the studio selfishly clung to the rights and were required to produce at least one film every few years bearing the name ‘Hellraiser’ to maintain ownership of the name. They didn’t care if they made good movies; they just did what was legally required of them in hopes of one day doing a large-scale remake. Or something of that nature. Everything they released sucked as a result. They’d churn out the godawfulest horror movies imaginable, slap Hellraiser on the title, put Doug Bradley back in makeup, and then rinse and repeat. Essentially, most films in the franchise have no right to be called actual Hellraiser movies; they carry the name alone, and that’s the only connection they have to the franchise. Everything that made the original movies so horrifying was lost.

The decline can be traced back to 1992 and the topic of today’s discussion. In the Leviathan documentary, a brilliant documentary covering the first two films, Doug Bradley opens up about Clive Barker’s original idea for the third Hellraiser film.

Admittedly, it is very bare-bones, and I wish more was known about it, but even searching through the thin scraps of information we’re given, a much better and very different story is discovered among the slithering pulp.

Firstly, instead of moving the franchise forward, Clive Barker was determined to set the third film back in the ancient past, all the way back to ancient Egypt. One thing you’ll realize when diving deeper into Barker’s stunning body of work is his fascination not only for the phantastique, but also a genuine love for history and the manifold influence the Occult has held sway over it. You’ll find this in the fan-favored video game, The Undying, Barker’s take on the Fall of the House of Usher where a friend visits his ailing friend and discovers the Hellish curses laid upon the family from generations of Occult practices. There’s also Mr B Gone, a book about a demon’s journey from Hell to Earth and then his odyssey across medieval Europe.

His Hellraiser III would’ve tapped into a similar vein and gone for a Genesis story. After all, after taking audiences to the heart of Hell, where else could we go? Clive thought the Great Pyramid would be the perfect answer. In his version, we would’ve watched the origins of the Cenobites, with the Pharaoh of Egypt himself completely hell-bent on opening the forbidden gates and joining with the infernal host.

Setting the movie thousands of years in the past, Barker imagined the Great Pyramid as the first Lament Configuration, the means to open the underworld and release the wonders and knowledge of Hell to mortal minds. The Pharaoh would’ve essentially been the first Cenobite, perhaps the first Hellpriest and predecessor of Doug Bradley’s iconic character. Imagine a scene wherein the tip of the Pyramid would’ve come close to touching the tip of Leviathan as the two worlds collide. If for nothing else, I would love to have seen the visuals of this ambitious movie! I bet it required a really big budget though, which might explain why we got a party club and an apartment setting in L.A. instead. Who needs to see the mystical visions of the past when the crew could just film downtown Hollywood? Right? What a pile of rat dicks.

An origin story was later explored in Hellraiser: Hellbound, the fourth movie and final film to play in theaters. Here we witness the creation of the Lament Configuration and the man who built it.

The mythology of the toy maker, Philip LeMarchand, was greatly changed for the film. Previously, LeMarchand was a demented occultist who, upon learning the mysteries of Hell’s gateway, sealed the secret inside many, and I mean lots, of different music boxes and scattered them all across the globe to feed upon souls.

Philip LeMarchand

I love this story, and of course Bloodline changed it, making LeMarchand an unassuming toy maker hired by a vile magician in France who wants to fuck a demon. I’m dead serious, and I guess I can’t blame him. Anyone who knows me knows my dream woman is Lady Death. So I get it.

True To The Vision

A comic book was later released that Barker considers the appropriate and true third installment to follow Hellbound. He played a significant role in its story, which clearly reflects his vision as it captures the essence of Hellraiser and provides a conclusion to both Kirsty Cotton’s and Tiffany’s storylines. Together, these brave survivors are on a mission to find and destroy every LeMarchand music box they can, aiming to prevent anyone from ever opening the gates of Hell again.

The story features many twists and turns, including Pinhead’s (attempted) apotheosis and Kirsty’s transformation into the Hell Priestess in his stead. Pinhead presides over her ordination, a touching moment between two icons, the one who got away kind of finale you could say.

The comics were released by Boom Studios back in 2011 and quickly became a must-own for me. Unfortunately, as is the case with comic collecting, trying to pick up back issues will cost you and is tedious as Hell. Thankfully, an omnibus collection of the series is releasing later this year so you have a chance to check out the true third installment of the Hellraiser trilogy. You can check it out here.

All isn’t lost, it would seem. We never got the ancient Egypt story, but there’s plenty of good Hellraiser and all happening as we speak! Not to mention Clive Barker’s said he wants to make one more movie. Will he develop the comic storyline? I’ve heard fans mention an adaptation of The Scarlet Gospel too as a possibility. I’d prefer the comic story just because it’s a great conclusion to the Kirsty and Pinhead drama. Or maybe we’ll get something entirely new. I’d kill for a chance to sit down and talk with Clive Barker about this.

Anyway, that’s all I have for now. Time to play that video game!

Manic Out!

Horror Nostalgia

Celebrating the Most Nostalgic Halloween Episode of “Roseanne”- “BOO!”

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Halloween in the 80s ruled, there’s no question about that. It would be easy to say us “old timers” look at Halloweens’ past with beer-goggles, but I contest that those who actually experienced Halloween in the 80s as a kid, would tend to agree. From the school parades, to sacks of great candy from more than just a few houses giving out diabetic comas to eager kids on that night under the orange and yellow glow of a Halloween moon, people seemed to be more than willing to participate by today’s standards. And, lest us never forget, the glorious myriad of Halloween specials that were never in short supply on the boob tube. Syndicated shows often jumped on the holiday bandwagon, creating a special episode for the Halloween spirit, but nobody EVER did it better than ROSEANNE– and you can take that to the garage with a chainsaw.

Running for nine seasons and except for the first and last season, ROSEANNE didn’t miss a beat with those faithful Halloween episodes glorifying the holiday. While they’re all pretty damn great for their own reasons, the most nostalgic is the very first Halloween special, Season 2-Episode 7, “BOO!”.

There’s just so much to love about this particular special. You can practically smell the crisp Autumn morning air from the opening shot alone.

Seriously, the only thing that rivals this is the opening to HALLOWEEN 4.

This episode does nothing more than just reinforce my love for the holiday and stands as basically the ultimate guide on how to do Halloween right folks. And that would be including subtle things like Jackie’s chattering skull pin and orange cassette tape of “Sounds From the Haunted Mansion”.

As the episode goes, it’s Halloween and the Connors are in full-swing of the festivies with a prank war going on between Dan and Roseanne over which of the two are the undisputable “Master of Halloween”. All the while, the fam is gearing up for the night by transforming their residence at 714 Delaware St into… THE TUNNEL OF TERROR. Which is what everybody basically calls this episode anyway because it’s so damn unforgettable.

With little zombie ninja DJ answering the door to welcome the trick-or-treaters, Roseanne steps in and leads them through the living room into Dan with an ax protruding in his head. The room is decorated in all kinds of great stuff when you’re looking for it. One of my favorites is the skull blow mold on the wall by the door!

From there, we’re led into the kitchen, where Becky dressed as an armless Stewardess is cooking up something special for the little ghouls. I would imagine that is Darlene’s hand coming out of the pot since she isn’t seen anywhere else on the tour, but that is just me Sherlocking the shit out of everything until I get a migraine.

And everybody’s favorite jump scare in the tour!

The kids are led out into the laundry room for a hasty exit where the less spooky Crystal and her son Lonnie lead them to safety.

And since Darlene doesn’t visually make an appearance through the Tunnel of Terror, I would be doing a disservice to the world if we didn’t acknowledge her ode to Pinhead for the evening.

Oddly enough, some of my favorite decorations seen in the show don’t even make it into the grand tour! In the aftermath in the garage, Roseanne is shown committing a Halloween crime of throwing out some magnificent die-cuts. It was at that moment when Dan came in dressed as Jason with a chainsaw that I myself, decided Dan was the clear winner of the night. Regardless of how the episode ended with Roseanne scaring the shit out of her husband with telling him that her parents were coming to stay with them for a month. Sorry, but I just can’t overlook that sort of travesty.

Long gone are the days when people would put this kind of effort into kids for Halloween. Although I think folks like this still exist, I would put money on the fact it’s far and in between these days. It’s not something I see much of anymore in my personal experience over the past few years, and unless people start taking hints from these ROSEANNE Halloween extravaganzas’, I highly doubt it will change.

Regardless of your personal feelings on Roseanne in the present, she, and this episode in particular, taught us all that you’re never too old for Halloween. Growing up is stupid, and we all should be letting out that inner demon child residing in our souls that Halloween brings out of all of us. Just as with “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Garfield’s Halloween Adventure, or the standard John Carpenter’s Halloween, the “BOO!” episode is in steady rotation around here as it’s just not Halloween without at least two or three viewings of this nostalgic piece of 80s Halloween history.

That being said, get to streaming it on Peacock otherwise, as Roseanne would say, you might go straight to Hell! And remember, there’s no chocolate in Hell; erm, no chocolate with caramel at least.

Games

“Halloween The Game” – Single Player Review!

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We’re living in extraordinary times where our favorite horror titles are making a strong comeback—something we could only have dreamed of not too long ago. For example, did you ever think it would be possible to rampage through Crystal Lake as Jason on a bloodthirsty quest to slash, dismember, and mutilate those stupid enough to come to your lake? Or consider picking up a chainsaw and becoming Leatherface as you chase after unsuspecting hippies around the old homestead? Modern video games make that possible. Fuck’s sake, they even released a game based on Killer Klowns From Outer Space!

It was only a matter of time before the godfather of slashers got his own game, and Halloween is proving to be a massive hit among fans. Like many other horror titles, Halloween has already been a video game before, with kids turning on their Atari 2600 to survive a grueling night when he came home.

With its pixelated gore and a surprisingly impressive rendition of the classic theme that the franchise is known for (I mean, considering it’s on Atari!), it’s not a bad attempt—unlike Ghostbusters on the NES. However, it is really limited, much like many other horror titles from that era. Thankfully, those days seem to be behind us now.

Now, imagine actually running around Haddonfield on October 31st, as you and your friends try to warn the townsfolk about the horrors of the Boogeyman.

Or picture yourself picking up the knife and stalking your prey, ending one life after another in beautifully gruesome ways most befitting the horrors of the season.

The Night He Came Home

Michael Myers has already been introduced in DBD, allowing players to step into the shoes of The Shape. However, what Gun and Illfonic offer fans now is a different experience altogether. In this game, you don’t just play as The Shape; you truly become him. They immerse players right into the heart of the movie, similar to their previous titles.  

You will roam the dimly lit streets of sleepy Haddonfield, a town that many of us recognize from countless movie rewatches. In a way, it feels like a strange homecoming, as if we’re returning alongside Michael. However, this time, instead of just spectating, you spend your time breaking into people’s homes, where the real excitement begins. Before choosing your preferred method of killing, you have the option to take your time, utilizing your stalking ability, which secures Michael several advantageous kills. In my opinion, definitely worth it.

Once you choose your method of murder—whether you prefer a classic stabby-stab-kill or an environmental one—you’re free to unleash your creativity. A couple of memorable moments for me include using a kitchen stove (I smell bacon!) and a grandfather clock! I got overly excited when I realized the clock was even an option. The kills are both creative and cruel. Or if you prefer to explore Michael’s softer side, you can just hug someone to death.

In single-player mode, you play as Michael and track his steps from the moment he escapes Smith Grove’s mental institution. As The Shape, Michael has no face, meaning until you fetch the iconic mask, his face is blurred out, and this is how you start out. You’re walking around barefoot in nothing but a hospital gown, and thanks to an orderly stabbing you with a sedative, you don’t have your full capacity of powers yet. This allows the player a chance to learn all of Michael’s abilities gradually and also proves what an unstoppable force The Shape really is. The guy is drugged and still manages to kill anyone in his path!

With only a paper-thin gown as shielding and his bare hands, Michael kills the guards and orderlies in whatever order you so choose. You’re in command here, so as The Shape, this is your party. You’re rewarded for not letting a single victim escape and also for not being detected. You’re also given points for creative kills, so go hard on them.

The iconic (feel like I’m saying that a lot here) opening of the movie plays out as Dr. Loomis pulls up to the front gate and you’re tasked with taking the car and getting the fuck out of dodge. Right away we’re deep into John Carpenter’s classic lore, and this was all just the prologue.

You soon find yourself rampaging through the Rabbit in Red nightclub, with only a broken bottle as a weapon while they all have a meat cleaver, knives, and one bitch pulls out a gun. That’s ok though because in minutes Michael’s slaughtering everyone inside. Oh, that little shit who thinks he gets away, just you wait. Just you wait. Thinks he’s so badass on his bike. I wonder if that motorcycle of his will come in handy later on? Hmmm.

Afterward, you hunt down the car mechanic next door and don his jumpsuit. The Shape is nearly complete. This leads us to the outskirts of Haddonfield, where you pick up the mask from a convenience store. You then get to dispose of the silly clerk (in a very nasty way if you like) and continue carving your legacy into the face of your hometown.

As you progress, keep an eye out for Loomis tapes, which are reminiscent of the Pamela and Tommy tapes from Friday the 13th. These tapes expand on the lore and provide bonuses if you aim to achieve 100% completion. You can also revisit missions and butcher up the same assholes in whole new ways!  

However, I encountered a stupid-ass glitch where characters spawned on rooftops, appearing terrified but unable to move. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get up there to teach them a lesson. But remember how Jason could throw knives at his victims? Well, Michael can pick up lawn darts, which are great to have on hand to remind those rooftop cheaters who’s really in charge!

Many elements in this game will evoke nostalgia. As Michael, you’ll return home and replay the events of that fateful night when you were just a child, and your sister was upstairs, being all killable. She’s practically asking for it!

This is where the game truly shines. You get to experience some key moments from the film, but it’s important to note that you won’t relive every scene. You won’t be stalking babysitters during the day, standing outside Laurie’s classroom, or encountering Tommy. It’s not a frame-by-frame remake sort of deal. Instead, you’ll rampage through the town after sunset, adding your own bloody touch to the legacy, and there’s no one safe from you.

Also, as a fun fact, a lot of residents are watching TV in the safety of their living room when you make your way in. I took a moment to see what was on the old boob tube, and it was Nosferatu! I was impressed. If only it had been The Thing, right?

I’m trying to be as spoiler-free as possible, but do you get to hunt down some babysitters and reenact the terrible events of that Halloween night? Oh, I don’t know. Nods

Keep in mind that this is all from the single-player mode, and I haven’t even begun to explore the online matches. However, I’ve already jumped back into missions multiple times to relive the macabre moments we all love. For me, that alone was worth the cost of the game.  I’m also curious about what additions might come later.

Will there be sequel material later added similar to what we saw with Friday the 13th? Will we get new maps and additional characters? That being said,

Jaimie?

This idea would be intriguing, but I’m not sure how they could make it work considering she was just a little kid. People would shit out of their noses if Michael chased down and killed a child. However, I would love to see Jaimie Lloyd as a playable character.

Perhaps she could be an adult by now; I don’t think fans would mind, especially since many enjoyed Part 4, one of the most beloved horror sequels of all time. Just give us the damn clown girl! Try out an alternate timeline too where she’s the killer. Switch things up, and fans would love it.

The game just released, and I believe the potential is limitless. However, It’s well-known how Gunn and Illfonic were unable to complete everything they planned for the massively successful Friday the 13th game (due to that stupid lawsuit), which left many fans frustrated. We never got Uber Jason or the space station map. There were even rumors of Freddy being added to the game, allowing us a Freddy vs. Jason scenario which would’ve been superior to the fucking movie. Fans got screwed over!

Additionally, fans were disappointed to learn that Texas Chainsaw Massacre would not be receiving further attention. Because of this, many people are hesitant to invest their time and enthusiasm into their newest game, Halloween, and I can’t blame them. Piss on shit; I didn’t intend to buy this game for those very reasons. I took my chance though and, as you can tell, I’m a pretty happy camper.

The bottom line is the game’s already enjoyable and offers a lot for fans to appreciate. It’s had a good opening week and is proving to be strong despite the bugs and weird glitches we’ve been dealing with (damn rooftop cheaters). Patches have been rolling out to fix issues…and take away the sex players could have. If Sims can woohoo, why can’t there be woohooing in a horror game? So the game isn’t perfect, but still a lot of fun.

Besides, what better time to explore the shadows of Haddonfield than now, as we approach Halloween?

Now, when are we getting, oh I don’t know, the A Nightmare On Elm Street game?

Manic out!