One of scifi/horror’s crown jewels began with the handshake to end all handshakes, and after seven highly entertaining movies and the most treacherous space villain this side of Lord Vader, the PREDATOR franchise continues to thrive 36 years later. But for nearly four decades, conversations about PREDATOR have revolved almost exclusively around Ahnold and the boys from the OG, with the occasional nugget about Danny Glover or Kevin Peter Hall and the other ginormous gents who’ve donned the Predator gear.
We thought it was time to change that. Today we’re here to talk about the five fiercest women from the PREDATOR universe.
5: ANNA (ELPIDIA CARRILLO) / PREDATOR (1987)
Few scifi/horror/action epics can match PREDATOR for machismo, but make no mistake, Anna was anything but a token character, she was a badass. We’re not allowed to forget that when Dutch and his team decimated the guerilla camp Anna didn’t hesitate to sneak up on Schwarzenegger, refused to stop doggin’ Dillon (Carl Weathers), and even packed Pancho (Richard Chaves) in the puss. Nor can we ignore that it was Anna who noticed the Predator’s blood on the leaves (insert iconic line here), helped the unit set up its (albeit failed) ambush, and even tried to grab a weapon and fight off the otherworldly warrior before Dutch kicked it out of her hands. And when the dust literally settled, we discovered that Anna had not only made it to the choppah! — but came back for Ahnold’s ass. Put some respect on Anna’s name.
4: ISABELLE (ALICE BREGA) / PREDATORS (2010)
The lone lass dropped into the game preserve in this non-stop homage to the 1987 classic that started it all, Isabelle was the personification of C.S. Lewis’ stance that integrity was doing the right thing even when no one is looking. An asset in battle and beyond, Anna offered invaluable input on topography and weather, to say nothing of her leadership and tactical skills. But Isabelle was unwilling to turn her back on a wounded Eric Forman (Topher Grace) when it would have been the easy (dare we say, smart?) thing to do. No one would’ve ever known, but she may have inspired GDT’s Elisa Esposito seven years early. Being partially paralyzed for her efforts, she paid a price for that decision, but still found a way to pull the trigger and save dollar store Dutch’s ass (Adrien Brody) when it mattered most. If you ever find yourself in a situation that needs to get unfucked with the quickness, you want Isabelle on your team.
3: LEONA CANTRELL (MARIA CONCHITA ALONSO) / PREDATOR 2 (1990)
As a nod to half of what’s on-deck, can we take a moment to appreciate tantalizing taglines? I mean, nothing can beat ’79 (and you know exactly what I’m talking about), but PREDATOR 2’s “he’s in town with a few days to kill” is for all-time. You know what else is historically relevant? Maria Conchita Alonso. Look, Leona grabbed Paxton by the package, talked NBA-level shit, and even after escorting several subway cars full of screaming Los Angelinos to safety, circled back to check on the only man ever killed by a Terminator, xenomorph, and a Predator. And don’t come at me with Cantrell getting a pass because she was preggers, Maria Conchita Alonso walked so Salma Hayek could run. For men my age…just know that Miss Alonso was finishing third no matter what.
2: ALEXA WOODS (SANAA LATHAN) / ALIEN VS. PREDATOR (2004)
Let’s keep in 100: Alexa Woods was a boss long before we even began talking about extraterrestrial evil. Woods was an environmental technician who was climbing Mount Everest when Weyland Industries summoned her to lead an expedition to a pyramid that suddenly appeared out of nowhere–2,000 feet below the Earth. Woods made it clear that the team was not ready for such an endeavor but stuck around knowing they had a better shot at survival with her leading the excursion as opposed to the silver medalist, making it perfectly understood that no one was to do any-damn-thing without her say-so.
Then all hell broke loose, and it was Woods who realized she and the others were caught in the middle of a war and needed to pick a side. When one of her cohorts realized that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” Woods didn’t hesitate to reply, “Let’s go find our friend.” Alexa ends up in the good graces of a Predator after throwing down on a xenomorph to save said Predator’s hide, then teams up with them and runs side-by-side into battle in some BATMAN FOREVER homage we never knew we needed.
Long story short (too late, we know): Alexa further impresses her wing-beast by putting down her chest-burster infested friend, helps them escape the pyramid before it went boom, plunges a xeno queen into a watery grave, and gets the mark of a Predator warrior in one of the coolest moments in cinematic history. The takeaway? Predators FUCK with Alexa Woods. That’s badassery on an incomprehensible level.
1: NARU (AMBER MIDTHUNDER) / PREY (2022)
Like Woods before her, Naru was the smartest person in the room. For all the fragile boys who lost their damn minds about a woman besting a Predator when PREY hit Hulu last August, don’t hurt yourself but try to keep up.
Remember that throughout the film’s first half Naru was hunting and failing–but learning from those mistakes–and as her brother Taabe (Dakota Beavers) pointed out, she saw everything and always had. Naru was an innovator. She realized that in order to capture game she needed to be able to retrieve her hatchet quicker, so she fashioned a leash which not only saved her from drowning at one point but ultimately allowed her to conquer Dane DiLiegro’s Predator. Have we mentioned that she picked up on the fact that the ultimate adversary couldn’t see clearly if her body temperature was lowered, how to escape certain death with a bear trap after her dog got its tail stuck in said contraption ONE TIME, or how the Predator’s mask controlled its arrows?
Naru never outmuscled the Predator, she outsmarted it. And when she returned to Comanche camp triumphant in hunting something that was also hunting her–when everyone thought she would fail–the glance between Naru and the little girl was EVERYTHING. Without saying a word Naru clearly communicated “you can do this.” Representation fucking matters.
The passenger manifest for women in the PREDATOR franchise is a brief one, but this is a series that gets it. The women who inhabit this universe are intelligent, intense, and not waiting around for a man to come save them. And with a quick glance at the actors bringing these amazing ladies to life you’ll notice Latina, Black, and Native American because, again, representation fucking matters.
