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10 Characters from the “Halloween” Franchise Who Definitely Deserved It

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The HALLOWEEN franchise is, without a doubt, a favorite topic of discussion here on NN and if you’ve ever looked at my list of pieces whether here on this blog, or elsewhere I’ve written for the past 10 years, you’ll come to the very correct conclusion that yes, I’m a superfan and could probably write about the subject forever without repeating myself once. However, there’s one thing that hasn’t been discussed by me, or really much anywhere, and that’s a hot take on who in the entire series of films actually deserved to die in these movies. Sure, there’s been talks here and there in forums; perhaps an article by some dopey website that aren’t even catered to horror fans. So, as a superfan myself, I’m obliged to take on the task, throw my rage at the keyboard and say “FUCK THESE GUYS, THEY HAD IT COMING.”

And no, as annoying as Tina can be in HALLOWEEN 5, she didn’t make the cut.

So let’s start slashing our way into these insufferable sons of bitches.

10. Bob (HALLOWEEN 1978)

If you’re wondering why I think Bob deserved to be strung up in the Wallace’s kitchen, the guy DID joke about ripping an eight-year-old girl’s clothes off. Plus because of his death, we wouldn’t have gotten one of the coolest shots of the entire franchise right here:

9. Kelly Meeker (HALLOWEEN 4)

The Haddonfield homewrecker, Kelly Meeker, the sheriff’s daughter, is just a total bitch. When Rachel confronted this hoe about sleeping with her boyfriend Brady (another fucking hoe) Kelly basically told Rachel that it was her fault that her man looked away and decided to spend Halloween with her instead. Ugh. She had it coming when Myers cleverly used a shotgun on her without pulling the trigger. Also, thanks for the Halloween costume inspiration!

But seriously, much love to the sweetheart that is Kathleen Kinmont. Only a fantastic actress can make us hate like that.

8. Mikey (HALLOWEEN 5)

An obvious choice if there ever was one. This prick had zero redeeming qualities. The guy only cared about his car and his dick. Tina, honey. You almost made the list because of your “electric connection” to toxic men.

Al least when you were riding with Mikey 2.0, you weren’t being verbally abused.

7. Pretty Much Everyone in HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION

I’m just going to make a bold statement and say that every single person who died in HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION, had it coming and I felt not a bit of sorry for any of them-including Laurie Strode. Everybody was just so dumb – downed and straight up intolerable. Be it their lack of common sense (Laurie with her wanting to “make sure” and that cameraman who just stood there waiting for Michael to slash his ass), or the entitlement of the entire cast of the “Internet reality show”. I literally cheered for every single one of them to go down. And let’s face it- the one guy who isn’t even really an actor per se, Busta Rhymes, is the only watchable thing in this movie at all.

Shout out Horror Net for putting together this kill count for RESURRECTION.

6. John Strode (HALLOWEEN 6)

Another no brainer is the abusive piece of shit John Strode. The uncle of Laurie Strode is one we were all very happy to see go down when it fianlly happened- and the fact it was extra violent was even more bittersweet. Smacking around your wife and kids in a horror movie gets your head blown up. Those are the rules!

5. Dr. Ranbir Sartain (HALLOWEEN 2018)

The idea of an anti-Loomis running around Haddonfield is entertaining. But I think Micheal was just as tired of hearing him talk as the audience was. Totally deserved that curb stomp. We can all only hope that we possess the superhuman strength, endurance, and durability in our 60s that Michael Myers has in this movie.

4. The Coroner Paramedics (Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN 2)

As much as I despise this movie and quite frankly, think pretty much everyone in Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN flicks deserve what they get, this scene in particular in RZ’s H2 is fairly satisfying and brutal enough to win a Golden Chainsaw award in 2010. The pair of nasty jackasses “joking” about necrophilia with dead women was enough for me to give this film a shout-out when Michael did his thing. And it was a beautiful service for the rest of us.

3. Ronnie (Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN 2007)

I don’t even need to explain this one-just roll that beautiful bean footage. I do think he got off way too easy though.

2. The Entire Halloween Kills Mob That Made Lance Tivoli Commit Suicide

EVIL DIES TONIGHT. And you know what, it sort of does when this asshole mob out of pure fear, drive a man, Lance Tivoli, to his own death in a case of mistaken identity as the mob believes him to be Myers unmasked. To make it worse, the man suffered from severe mental illness. It’s a terrible tragedy to have someone who cries out for help, actively seeking medical assistance, and suffers a deathly fate for simply existing.  So yes; I’m gonna let Joker take this one for Tommy Doyle and the mob of Haddonfield:

1. Michael Myers (Halloween Ends)

If you’re shocked to see Myers at number one, you just might be a sociopath. Listen, he did humanity a couple of favors by ridding a few insufferable twats from the Earth. But he also killed a lot of innocent people too, and plenty who didn’t deserve it. Danny Trejo anyone? I think the way he died was a bit weak and sort of a cop out, but then again there’s a lot I don’t agree with HALLOWEEN ENDS, and it has nothing to do with Corey. I actually thought him being the new Myers was a cool direction to go- until they killed him and fucked up their own potential. But eh, take what we can get for now, I guess. Let’s just hope the next set of reboot films gets things right this time.

Before anyone asks me why I didn’t place Conal Cochran on here, it’s because he knows his Halloween folklore, so he gets a pass from me. I respect that kind of knowledge.

Lists

Nightmare Nostalgia Ranks The “Halloween” Franchise Opening Credits!

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One of the greatest memories of my childhood was the multitude of horror movies that were introduced to me through my Dad and Grandfather (Pop-we called him). Pop was a passionate fan of ALL Universal Horror Monsters films, and on top of watching them endlessly by his side on the nights the grandparents would babysit, I would often admire his complete Universal Monsters VHS Collection and the artwork embodied within it. However, my Dad, albeit a super Frankenstein himself, was more on the Slasher spectrum. And, by the way, is the biggest John Carpenter’s Halloween fan I know. It sounds biased, but being inside the horror community for fifteen years, I stand by that statement- and you could read more about that here.

That being said, the Halloween films were a pretty standard rotation in the ole’ VCR growing up and hell still are. And while I’ve found this to be a pretty common list among the horror website interwebs, they sure as shit aren’t my opinion and that of the greatest Halloween fan I know! So, here we go: Nightmare Nostalgia’s official ranking of all the Halloween opening credits!

I truly feel like I’m really going to make some of you mad. BUT, just remember, my opinion is not yours and we can all agree to disagree!

And no: I’m not including the Rob Zombie versions because of NO.

11. Halloween: Resurrection

With many fans, Resurrection ranks dead last in pretty much all aspects; and here on this list is no exception. Following a very generic version of John Carpenter’s classic tune paired with pitch-black backgrounds and orange credit lettering, we stroll down the halls of the Grace Sanitarium Institution where we meet a seemingly docile Laurie and a pair of nurses who narrate to the audience the very bullshit story of why she’s there. It just sucks when in comparison to ALL the others. Sorry, not sorry.

10. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

In my opinion, and well that’s what this all is, Curse’s opening doesn’t fair much better than Resurrection. The only reason it’s a slot higher is that it’s a lot shorter. The messy intro here that clumsily inserts parts of the film in the damn thing merely sets the tone for the rest of it. One big mess. However, as big a mess as it is, it still isn’t the worst in the franchise by far. Resurrection still holds that title belt.

9. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Ahhh, here we are. The last of the original pumpkin intros in the franchise-up until 2018 of course when they resurrected it. Personally, I rather enjoy the low-key angry tone behind this one in combination with the process of what I would call, The Wild Maniac World of Pumpkin Carving Sports here. However, compared to others before it, it falls short.

8. Halloween H20

The cool newspaper clippings and a throwback to Samuel Loomis speaking his infamous words on what Myers eternally represents is a pretty cool change and so very 90s.

7. Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills may have been a shitshow as far as a decent follow-up to its 2018 predecessor, but at least the pumpkin opening credits were on point. In fact, it’s probably the best party of the whole movie, aside from the throwbacks from the original film.

6. Halloween (2018)

One can certainly appreciate the return of the pumpkin intro via the 2018 franchise’s homecoming. And in such a unique form as the jack-o-lantern has fallen flat and laid dormant for many years, only to be blown up into its original form. Like it never missed a beat. Truly an honorable way to start the Myers madness again!

5. Halloween Ends

For many fans, it seems, Halloween Ends falls way down in the ranks as far as a decent film in the franchise. I definitely have my own opinions on what worked and what didn’t. But overall, it’s certainly not a bad movie. As a huge fan of Halloween III, I can totally appreciate the homage to Season of the Witch here and the idea of Myers passing the torch. Although they’ve tried to do this many times in slasher films, it feels like the studios can’t grow the balls to actually go through with it. I would be OK with Corey continuing the legacy. But now, and it will happen again, we’ll just get another goddamn reboot in 10 years. Oh well, at least the opening rules.

4. Halloween (1978)

Alright. This is the one that MIGHT trigger some pissed-off feelings from fellow fans with regard to ranking. But, I feel like some of the follow-ups were just a smidge more intriguing to my senses. It’s classic, simple, and a perfect start to the Haddonfield journey, whereas the original film was simplistic yet effectively terrifying.

3. Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Love the movie or hate it (and yes it’s still an argument), you are very wrong if you deny the magnificence of thy Magic Pumpkin paired with a sinister synthesizer. The onset of the 80s’ included the launch of a new wave and MTV and this was a perfect representation of what early 80s horror films looked and sounded like. It’s just a staple of an era that many have since used as inspiration- including Stranger Things.

2. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

The return of Myers meant a ditch off the recurring pumpkin intro this time around with a spine-chilling sequence of a sunset on a farm instead. The ambiance of a sinister Autumn setting with the low-tone score, the winds blowing, and Halloween decorations swaying in the breeze always struck the skeevies chord with me. That Michael is still out there. Waiting- and coming soon.

1. Halloween II (1981)

There is just no way in Haddonfield Hell that anyone can convince me otherwise that the sequel to the original isn’t the greatest goddamn gift we’ve ever been given in this franchise. Well, as far as appeasing intros are concerned, anyway. Opening with the events of the last film spilling over to start the continuing journey of cat and mouse between Myers and Laurie, we roll into a perplexed Loomis staggering outside the Doyle home to the spot where Michael had dropped, and only a pool of blood remains. Garnering attention from (finally) a nosy neighbor who has ignored all the blood-curdling screams, and apparently is just NOW paying attention to what’s been going on right next door, annoyingly asks if this is a joke and that “He’s been trick or treated to death tonight.” This leads into one of the greatest lines of this fuckin’ franchise from Loomis himself- “You don’t know what death is!” Who then scurries off around the corner in a wild state.

And then-the glorious, more angry pumpkin intro this time around. The score is more aggressive, much like in the rest of the film, coinciding with an angrier Myers. The pumpkin cracks down the middle to reveal a skull. The symbol that death is coming and isn’t stopping for anyone.

So good.

What’s YOUR favorite Halloween opening sequence? Discuss below in the comments!

Editorials

Hot Take: Rachel Carruthers: The GREATEST Final Girl in the “Halloween” Movie Franchise

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I might be going to Halloween Hell for this but you have to hear me out here before throwing me down a well while I wash away in a river only to end up at some hermit’s shack. Rachel Carruthers is the true answer to the Halloween heroine series and 30 years later I’m still fairly pissed about how dirty they did her in Halloween 5.

Now, I know what you’re saying, “Excuse me, but what about Laurie?”

A very valid question and I’ll give a simple answer. Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) was at her best in the original 1978 film and honestly, I just didn’t register her as anything special or in fact relatable in any way whatsoever. She’s likable just enough in the original film but in a very generic sense as the character barely has any depth and some very corny one-liners to boot in the first few films. It wasn’t until H20 that Laurie’s character came out of her shell and gave us more than a shy girl next door- which is my favorite version of her mind you. That persona continues on in the current Halloween films (2018, Kills, and Ends), skipping over Resurrection as she was just outlandishly cartoonish; but the damage has already been done for me whereas she just ain’t hitting those notes like another has for me. Plus, I have a little bone to pick with someone who claims that parents who watch Halloween with their children are “the worst human being(s) on the planet.”

Look lady, most of us that grew up in the 80s and 90s did exactly that and watched these films as kids; renting them from our local mom-and-pop video stores. So just settle down there JLC and realize you have a fan base because of US and insulting parents who choose to share their passion for the genre and the Halloween films with their crotch fruit is no one’s business. Parent shaming is so gross.

That being said, Ellie Cornell who plays the “new and improved” girl-next-door type, Rachel Carruthers makes her first appearance in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, and oh man she came in swinging right away with that part. She just felt REAL. As if Ellie WAS Rachel and we weren’t watching an act.

Aside from my opinions, Cornell had some pretty big loafers to fill when stepping up to be the fresh face for Halloween after JLC’s role in the series was presumably over, and she delivered a powerhouse final girl performance to become the now, unsung heroine of the entire franchise.

Rachel was the epitome of a typical high-school girl in the 80s but with a lot more to offer. Beyond watching her figure, (she didn’t want her mom to have an oinker for a daughter) and daydreaming of her future with Haddonfield hunk Brady, Rachel had a lot on her plate to deal with for a teenage gal. Taking on the role of older foster sister to Jamie, (Danielle Harris) who is now deceased Laurie’s daughter, she is wise beyond her years in offering advice to the young troubled, and also, hunted girl. She also, at first begrudgingly, is willing to give up her “engagement, marriage, and children” all to babysit on Halloween night just to help out the family, taking it a step further and taking Jamie out for ice cream costume shopping after school. What a gal. Of course, some of this may have been due to guilt after throwing a tad of a hissy fit, but she IS a teenager, and most girls her age would be annoyed at this task. She, of course, shows maturity and rights her wrong which is commendable.

Ok, so we know Rachel is a down-to-Earth good girl. But she’s also a mega-badass.

When faced with the threat of Michael Myers hot on the sisters’ tail on Halloween night, Rachel goes from teenage dynasty to full-blown survival final girl mode. This young girl with boy troubles and a thrust-upon role model for Jamie becomes a fighter with every inch of her being by night’s end and does everything in her power to keep her foster sister safe from harm. She carries Jamie on her back onto a roof escaping from the Meeker’s house and MacGyvers’ the shit out of some rope to make an escape ladder all while Myers is flailing his knife around at them.

Fun fact: The badassery spills over into reality as Ellie did ALL her own stunts on that roof. No, it wasn’t a set folks. They actually filmed on top of a house for that scene and it was pretty high up. The crew wouldn’t let her do the free-fall but everything else is Cornell and not a stuntwoman.

Shortly after an incident with Loomis, Myers, and Jaimie at the school, Rachel pops up like mother fuckin’ Rambo with a fire extinguisher and gives the sisters a chance to get away. They escape with the redneck Haddonfiled lynch mob in a truck and it seems as if their night of hell has come to a close as they drive away from Haddonfield to a safe place.

Ugh. How boring would that be! As Michael was hiding somehow underneath the truck the whole time just waiting for the perfect moment to make an appearance. After killing off every vigilante, Rachel is now tasked with saving her and Jamie from imminent death.

The whole scene is badass but not over the top where it isn’t believable. These girls have been through one traumatic night, Rachel snapping into murder mode by plowing into him with the truck instead of just driving off showcases the evolution of her character from the Rachel we got at the beginning of Halloween 4, and the end of the film. You’re goddamn right; Rachel went full Heisenberg.

Rachel Carruthers deserved better than that bullshit death in Halloween 5 and certainly warrants more recognition for her achievements in breathing new life into the Final Girl persona of the genre. She’s just so damn likable. You may disagree with my thoughts here and you’re welcome to tell me I’m wrong- but first let me get that coffee for you.