VHS Memories: The Classic Universal Monsters Collection to Die For!

In my humble opinion, there really isn’t a horror franchise that bleeds the highest of importance to the genre quite like the classic Universal Monsters. Stories such as Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolf Man have been retold countless times over the past 100 years in film, starting firstly with 1910’s silent movie Frankenstein by J. Searle Dawley. However, nobody really pulled it off quite like Universal with its surge of successful flicks that put the fear of GOD into audiences back in the golden age of film. And MCA’s 1991 release of the classic Universal Monsters VHS collection was the ultimate spooktacular event that fans had been waiting to sink their teeth into!

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I’ll admit, even though I was already a huge fan of the classics, the promos for the now coveted massive ensemble of VHS monster madness was what had me begging the parental units for $14.98 a week to nab one monster movie after another. Those flying VHS tapes towards your face before the beginning of each Universal monster flick in one of the original promos is the one I remember the most, and also served to hypnotize me into really expanding this ever-growing stack of VHS Universal goodness. And the list just seemed to grow every time we snagged a new cassette!

Slick move there MCA/ Universal Home Video. Mesmerizing the shit out of me with that enthusiastic voice-over urging me to visit my local retailer to ask for the Universal Studios Classic Monster Collection in a dark and serious tone like I meant fuckin’ business. I’m also going to tell you that I totally did that too. It was absolutely worth both the giggles and awkward stares from the guy behind the Video Rental counter.

 

 

A Reboot of Stephen King’s “The Stand” Miniseries Coming to CBS? Either Way, It’s Long Overdue…

If this turns out to be another dead end to a much-needed revival of one of Stephen King’s greatest achievements, I’m going to plague the interwebs with my fury and wrath in such a way they’ll be begging for mercy from Captain Trips.

Maybe I’m being a tad dramatic. However, I’ve been burned before with the hopes of a glorious and deserved reboot of my favorite novel. So, forgive me going forward.

A Reboot of Stephen King's "The Stand" Miniseries Coming to CBS? Either Way, It's Long Overdue...

Anyway, by now you may have heard the news across the interwebs that the thought to be a dead project of Josh Boone’s reboot of The Stand, is in fact not dead at all. Just on hold for now and actually has a future residency with CBS All Access in the form of a 10-hour long miniseries event. The word comes from the sometimes accurate Hollywood Tracking Board. Although I’m hopeful, I do have my reservations as talks of this deserved reboot have been an on and off thing for a few years now.

The post-apocalyptic, 800+ page novel by the literary master of horror published in 1978, eventually made its way into the cinematic world as most of Kings’ books tend to do. With a story such in-depth as The Stand, a two-hour film would never suffice, so out came a 6-hour miniseries in 1994 to the ABC network. While the miniseries starring the talents of Gary Sinise, Shawnee Smith, and Rob Lowe is an enjoyable series to revisit time and again, the story itself is definitely overdue for a modern makeover with today’s technology. I mean, the effects certainly aren’t as terrible as the made-for-tv The Langoliers, but I’d put it in the same ball-park for sure.

Just look at that cheese-whiz! Mind you, it doesn’t bother me that much, but for a Stephen King adaptation we can do a lot better, can’t we?

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Also, it would be nice to see a proper tribute to the novel that is widely considered, one of King’s best pieces of work. Let’s just make sure we get Crispin Glover to play Trashcan Man, deal?

The Only Word Worthy of Kelly Maxwell

WARNING: If you have not seen “Tales from the Rift,” turn back now. There are spoilers afoot.

Twenty-six episodes. More than two-and-a-half seasons of Ash vs Evil Dead have brought me to the realization that I still lack the vocabulary to capably describe Dana DeLorenzo as Kelly Maxwell.

Thoughts of Ambrose Redmoon’s declaration that “courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear” danced through my head, but soon faded because that too, was an insufficient concept.

Do I go with brave or tough, intelligent or loyal? Perhaps referring to her as a leader, vigorous or formidable?

How could a single word encapsulate one of the strongest women in horror history, when so many adjectives apply?

It was a challenge, to be sure, but inspired by Friday the 13th’s finest final girl (Amy Steel), I came to the conclusion that I had to “think beyond the legend,” and “put it in real terms.”

Dana DeLorenzo’s Kelly was uncompromising.

From our “El Jefe” introduction to her epic showdown with Ruby (Lucy Lawless) in Sunday’s “Tales from the Rift,” we watched a young woman grow from grieving daughter to unyielding warrior, and never give an inch.

What set Kelly apart was that she was anything but one dimensional. A badass to be sure, but one who never veered from the deepest vestiges of who she was – loving and loyal to her boys Pablo (Ray Santiago) and Ash (Bruce Campbell) – and always willing to do what needed to be done. Maxwell was the personification of Redmoon’s maxim, tossing fear aside because her new family and the fate of the world were more important than the uncertainty of her own survival.

DeLorenzo stood face-to-face with evil, the cabin, militiamen, cops, demon spawn and finally Ruby, and never blinked. And though Maxwell’s own sense of revenge was the catalyst to forging her own path, that swelled over time.

While ridding the world of Deadites, Kelly took the time to comfort Linda Emery (Michell Hurd), offer tough, motherly words that Brandy (Arielle Carver-O’Neill) needed to hear, and inspire Pablito to believe that he was, in fact, the powerful vagina he was destined to become.

And in the end, with Ruby at the height of her ruthless power, it was Kelly who bore the weight of protector on her shoulders, and her shoulders alone. With no guarantee that she’d endure the day, Maxwell decided to take the battle to Ruby for Pablo. And Ash. And Brandy. And her parents. Because to Kelly’s thinking, no one, not her loved ones or anyone else’s, should have to suffer the pain of loss ever again. And if she could stop it, then she would not hesitate to embrace the opportunity, while sparing those she cherished the danger of putting their own lives on the line.

That was Kelly Maxwell’s identity. An uncompromising fighter and friend, who never altered who or what she stood for, or how she lived her life — for anything or anyone — not anguish, adversity, or evil. She lived, loved and laughed, with an eye forever on the prize of end game; the focused leader to Ash’s reluctant, fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants Chosen One.

She went out on her terms, doing everything within her considerable capability to save those who had her heart, while the Evil Dead fandom watched through teary eyes as an uncompromised, almost imperceptible smile turned her lips before she breathed her last.

It was a good death.