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Don’t Mess With Mama! Celebrating The Most Bad Ass Moms in Horror Films

Being a mother myself of two beautiful, and at times obnoxious children, I can say with certainty that one full day dedicated to the mothers of the world is not nearly enough! The mothers who pull double duty in both Mom AND Dad roles. The mom who works two jobs to give you a better life than perhaps she experienced growing up. The one woman in your life whom you should be able to trust and to will always be there. Sadly, and myself included, there are some of us out there who do not have this luxury. Someone whom THEY can trust and go to for motherly advice.

In light of this fact, and while the country is celebrating mothers all over this weekend for this year’s now Hallmark cash grab this is Mother’s Day, I wanted to take a moment to tip my hat and bring appreciation to the great mothers in horror films. Sure, we all know about the psycho moms in horror movies, such as Margaret White or Mama Firefly, but what about the women who set the maternal bar high for the rest of us? In no particular order, let’s take a moment to appreciate the wonderful mothers of horror films, shall we?

Heather Langenkamp

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Throughout the Nightmare franchise, we saw Nancy at different stages in her life from her haunted teens, to college student, and at last, a mother. Even if in this case, she technically wasn’t playing the Nancy character, but rather herself, you get the idea. Heather right from the start of the film, is a great fucking mom. As her life is flipped upside down and is one “nightmare’ after another, her son, Dylan, was always her number one concern. Putting her son’s life before her own is something any good mom would do, but she also taught us an important lesson when raising kids. Listen to them. Even if what they have to say is fantastical, give them the benefit of the doubt. Kudos to you Heather for being that paranoid, helicopter mom. Her protectiveness definitely aided in saving her son from the claws of Freddy.

Karen Barclay

Child’s Play

Karen Barclay is a great example of the type of mother I mentioned at the beginning of this little ramble. Karen is just trying to do her best as a single mother while raising her child, Andy. All this lady wanted was for her kid to have a nice birthday and to be able to give him the gift he wanted. Well, fuck me if she didn’t screw that up royally, but her intentions were at its best. After learning the truth about Chucky, Karen goes to the ends of the Earth to prove to the authorities that she, nor her son, are batshit crazy. As stated in the sequels, Karen ended up under “special care” for backing up Andy’s “killer doll” story, while the police denied all. Even though she got burned in the end, let’s give a hand to the mom who wouldn’t back down in cowardice and supported her son no matter the consequences.

Rosemary Woodhouse

Rosemary’s Baby

Rosemary Woodhouse. A tough contender for mother of the year right here. A good majority of the film focuses on her concern and well-being for the little bundle of hell baking inside her. While she did everything in her power to protect herself and her unborn child from the evil that had been looming over her the entire time, fate and the powers behind the madness intervened, and this birth was going to happen THEIR way. When Rosemary comes to her senses in the aftermath of the birth of her child, she discovers the true wickedness that had befallen her and her firstborn. That she had indeed given birth to the Antichrist. The tyrant of a man who would bring humanity to its knees. While Rosemary in the first moments hesitates to even consider thinking that she could be a part of any of these shenanigans, however in the end she looks upon her son with such adoration and love in her eyes. This child is hers. And she will do her part as his mother. She accepts this fairly quickly, and her role as the mother of the child of Satan. Good for you! Accept your child for whom he/she truly are on the inside. Even if it’s the kid who will bring about the end of the world. Way to push that maternal bar high lady.

Donna Trenton

Cujo

Dee’s character of Donna Trenton in Stephen King’s Cujo, is one kick ass mama. Donna and her fragile son Tad experience a terrifying three lovely days of claustrophobia in her car, thanks to an aggressive rabid dog named Cujo ready to pounce on them the moment they exit. Although frightened, and hell, you would be too, Donna manages to pull out her huge set of balls once it’s apparent her sickly son may be meeting his end inside the confined space. She exits the car and starts a raging war against the rabid animal, eventually overpowering him and killing him in the end. Now we all know what a certified badass screen legend Dee Wallace is, but here’s another reason to love the woman: According to Gabrielle Stone, Wallace’s real life daughter, her mother’s role of Donna helped her feel safe in her own home growing up because of how tough her mom was in the film. Now, if that isn’t a parenting win, I don’t know what is.

Diane Freeling

Poltergeist

Diane Freeling is not only a smoking hot mama who occasionally lights up to relax, but one seriously loving mother. When CarolAnne went missing and quickly realized the strange and horrifying truth of her young daughter trapped inside their family TV set, Diane put aside all logic and previous beliefs to try to understand what was exactly happening inside her home, and where exactly her little girl was. This lady, with balls of steel, ventured through a seemingly horrific dimension in hopes of bringing her child back home from the other side. JoBeth Williams’ acting chops in Poltergeist, is brilliant. She makes me believe that she IS Diane Freeling and this is her family. Her struggle. The pain in her voice at losing a child is so chilling and heartbreaking. We salute you, mama. Her heart for her family is one of the strongest on this list.

Pamela Voorhees

Friday the 13th

Ok, so maybe Pamela Voorhees overreacted a tad and I could be possibly be pushing the “good” boundary here, but I really don’t care. Mrs. Voorhees is one damn fine mother, and you really can’t deny the love she has for her Jason. Look at it this way, this lady was a single mom raising a disabled child. One fine summer day, she’s slaving away cooking for a bunch of brats at camp, while some fucking irresponsible teenage horn-dogs rage war with each other’s bodies. All while they’re supposed to be keeping a close eye on these kids. All the while, her son Jason, the apple of her eye, drowns in the lake. Bunch of dickwads if you ask me. She had every right to be pissed. I can’t say I would go on a murderous rampage on a bunch of counselors years later that had nothing to do with it. However, I’m not going to judge the woman. Maybe it was her way of coping. Don’t be so damn judgmental.

Lucy Emerson

The Lost Boys

Lucy was that Tupperware loving, “milk and cookies will make it all better” type of mom that we crave every so often; because let’s face the truth here- if you were dying from a flu, or eh, a hangover, she’d bring you some soup and give you a little Carol Brady heart-to-heart. Though she may need a little convincing when it comes to believing in vampires, she’s still pretty cool when it comes to parenting. Stern when needed, and listens with love. Happy Mother’s Day, Lucy, and watch out for those mullet-chops hanging around the boardwalk!

Mortica Addams

The Addams Family

Oh Morticia. Mrs. Addams may be slightly unconventional in her parenting skills in the average Joe’s eyes, but obviously it works in her family and works well. Her children are confident and secure in themselves and would never dare conform to what society deems “normal“. As Morticia always says, “What is normal to the spider, is chaos to the fly,” and this saying rings true to that sentiment. As mothers, we strive to instill this type of self-confidence in our own children, and the beautiful Morticia wins this round.

Chris MacNeil

The Exorcist

Mrs. MacNeil had it all. A successful career as an actress, a variety of hats and scarves that she could accessorize the shit out of, and of course, the lovely Regan. Before the ugly events that turned this once loving home into the eighth level of Hell, it seemed that Chris and Regan had a pretty tight bond and it was clear the eleven-year-old was the apple of her eye. When the poo hit the fan, Chris did everything in her power to not only protect her daughter, but to also free of her of whatever demonic grip held on so tightly to the poor child. She suffered tremendously in such horrific ways I could never even fathom in reality, but never gave up hope.

Queen Alien

Aliens

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a hundred times. Queen Alien is a damn good mother and I feel her frustrations. Look at it from her point of view: This is a race different from ours, obviously. Here we have a bunch of humans, and honestly, they’re looking at us like we’re the aliens, coming into their personal space. Killing her unborn children, with fire no less. If you were her, wouldn’t you be pissed too? She is just doing what any good mother would do. Protecting her babies, and hey, if someone is trying to hurt them, you put them down. I get it Your Majesty. I would have gone on that level of crazy right there with you.

Drop a comment below on your favorite maternal force in horror films. Happy Mother’s Day to all my fellow moms, and also to the dads who are wearing the mom hat. This goes to furbaby moms as well! Break out all the wines. You deserve it. And remember…

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45 Years of Launching the Slasher Subgenre For 80s Horror: “Friday the 13th”

That’s right. His name was Jason, and it’s been 45 years since the massacre at Crystal Lake that led to the birth of a horror icon and, technically, the birth of the 80s slasher.

In the early 1970s, Sean S. Cunningham sat in an editing room with director Wes Craven as the two cut together what would become, one of the most disturbing horror films ever made: THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. Cunningham’s first film, THE ART OF THE MARRIAGE, had attracted Craven, who wanted to be in the film business, a friendship struck and then went ahead and made basically a soft porn film together entitled, TOGETHER. Which is totally what I would expect from the master of 80s perky boob shots and gore.

After Last House, Craven would go on to direct THE HILLS HAVE EYES, but Cunningham had a different vision.

In 1978, John Carpenter’s HALLOWEEN was released and changed the horror game. Cunningham took notice of the huge success of the premise of a stalker going around killing teenage girls and thus began the creation of FRIDAY THE 13TH. A movie that would spawn 9 sequels, a remake, and a crossover with, ironically, one of his old buddy’s own iconic creations, and become one of the most influential horror movies of all time.

So before we go any further, let’s smack a kiss on little Mikey Myers. Because without him, there would be no Jason.

After coming up with a title that like, Halloween, centered around a mysterious date, FRIDAY THE 13TH, the aspiring horror director pulled a massively ballsy move without even shooting one scene of the movie, by making an advert of his movie idea and somehow getting it placed in the July 4th issue of VARIETY magazine. The idea was to maybe secure the financing necessary to start production. The now-infamous and very first ad appeared for the original film in the franchise, proclaiming Friday The 13th “The Most Terrifying Film Ever Made”. The gamble paid off with Paramount picking up the title and a green light to shoot the film for $1.5 million buckaroos.

The slasher film was still in its infancy back in 1979, and though films like BLACK XMAS (which in my opinion was the FIRST true slasher movie),  THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and HALLOWEEN set the bar for the subgenre, FRIDAY THE 13TH set the standard for the 80s slasher-and the absolute crazy oversaturation of it during that decade. And I wouldn’t have it any other fucking way.

FRIDAY THE 13TH set a new slasher standard for young bloods getting picked off one by one in an isolated setting where no adults could be found anywhere supervising the often horny and impaired kids. If they were around, they were usually presumed as drunk or crazy.

Crazy Ralph, anyone?

Not to mention the now cliché horror movie tropes that we’ve seen in almost every slasher movie since. Sex equals death. Drugs equal death. An unstoppable madman (or in this case, woman) with the killer POV camera shot that doesn’t directly show the killer, that keeps us guessing who their identity is throughout the movie. And of course, we need the all-important final girl. The more innocent she seemed, the better her chance of survival. Of course, FRIDAY wasn’t the first to establish that trend (that credit goes to HALLOWEEN), but they sure as hell ran with it religiously for an entire decade and inspired the very film they kind of-sort ripped off, (HALLOWEEN), to cash in on the slasher boom of the 80s with a couple of sequels. The formula set the standard for FRIDAY movies going forward, and the rest of the 80s slashers that came after.

Also, it spawned Randy. Randy is all of us. Thanks to the likes of Friday the 13th.

FRIDAY THE 13TH opened nationwide in the US on May 9th, 1980. Nobody expected this little horror movie to do much regarding big Box Office numbers, including Sean Cunningham, but holy shit was everyone surprised when this little film shot at Camp Nobebosco in New Jersey blew up and ending up meaning just shy of 40 million in the US domestically, and almost 60 million worldwide. Not a bad profit for a movie that was shot for half a million.

And then just like that, along with a sequel to HALLOWEEN, a film that never intended to have one, a slew of similar films embracing the same tropes that FRIDAY banked on, absolutely inundated theaters and straight to video stores with movies like SLEEPAWAY CAMP, CHEERLEADER CAMP, and SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE. Not to mention the appeal of associating a murderous madman with a holiday like MY BLOODY VALENTINE, APRIL FOOL’S DAY, and SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT. The trend continued throughout the entire 80s, with the golden era of horror movies busting out 253 slasher flicks. And it’s all thanks to a little mongoloid named Jason and his vengeful mother who started it all.

Let’s raise our machetes to Pamela and her fucked up kid this weekend! FRIDAY THE 13TH is currently streaming on PLUTO for free! Now, I’ll be right back…

The Moment in A Nightmare On Elm Street: the Dream Child That Proves Freddy Was A Deviant

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5: THE DREAM CHILD is well known in the Freddy franchise for a lot of good (and bad) reasons. But there’s one tidbit about the 5th installment I’m willing to bet a lot of you missed; no matter how many times you’ve seen it. As a matter of fact, every time I bring it up to someone, they’re actually surprised they missed it- and it’s the moment in the film where the franchise actually admits to Freddy being a pedophile.

The only reason I bring this up is that despite the large Freddy fandom, and the first film premiering over 40 years ago (wow I feel old), this is STILL a debate amongst some fans. I guess some people have never seen the NEVER SLEEP AGAIN doc that actually goes into this subject. But anyway, the now-famous viral panel interview with Robert Englund addressing the million-dollar question with vagueness hasn’t helped the internet debate either. Although I don’t blame him much as he is probably sensitive about the topic. I’m sure he doesn’t want his greatest movie role that he made iconic to be remembered as being a child molester.

But, here we are. I guess if you blink while watching THE DREAM CHILD, you’ll miss it, but I’m one of those people that looks around the screen at things in the background, especially now rewatching older movies to catch glimpses of nostalgia or things I may have missed the past 5,000 times I’ve watched it prior. And a few years ago, I actually caught this.

More than halfway through THE DREAM CHILD, Alice (Lisa Wilcox) and Mark (Joe Seely) are seen in Alice’s bedroom discussing how to move forward after realizing Freddy is after Alice’s unborn child. Mark brought over a bunch of old newspapers ranging from the demise of Amanda Krueger, to the trials of Freddy and behold- this screenshot from the ending of that scene:

There’s no denying it. It’s as they, “all there in black and white.” I mean, I hate to even be writing this or putting it out there, but the debate has to end. It’s not like me, a Fred head myself, wants to be one to actually say it out loud. I don’t think any of us do. And I personally think it’s one of the (many) reasons why the 2010 remake failed so tremendously. I mean, besides the horrific makeup, the way they made Nancy into such a weak bitch, and the center plot stating the dirty secret outloud. There’s a big difference between subtle hints throughout the franchise and blatantly being so in your face about it. To throw in another cliché saying, “ignorance is bliss”; if we don’t talk about it, it never happened. Even though we all know deep down, this was always the premise for the Springwood Slasher. But, to be a true Fred Head is to be in the know. And now you know.

For those who have still been in denial about it, I hope I didn’t ruin your day.

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