Tag Archives: Retro horror

Editorials, Horror Nostalgia

Gateway to Horror: How Michael Jackson’s “THRILLER” Tuned Kids into the Genre

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The foulest stench is in the air, the funk of forty years since the universally proclaimed “King of Pop” released the infamous music video “Thriller”, a badass tune on his 1982 album of the same name, nationally to audiences everywhere, smells as fresh as it did since we first saw zombies dance across TV screens in 1983.

I was only a year and a half old when the “greatest video of all time” debuted on December 2nd, 1983 so I have no recollection of any first-time viewer accounts. What I do remember, however, is before the age of five being absolutely fucking terrified of this little short film/music video. The hilarious part about all of it is, I was NO stranger to the horror genre as I, myself, grew up in a household of horror fanatics; being raised on Universal Monsters, JAWS, and John Carpenter’s Halloween on heavy rotation via my father who gave no fucks on teaching his darling daughter early on about the glorious horror genre before I was able to even use the toilet on my own.

That’s some goddamn commitment. Bless that man.

That being said, I was pretty desensitized to a lot early on, and it took a lot to get that kind of fear going via a horror film. However, there was ONE thing I was scared shitless of early on- Werewolves. Thanks to a little movie called SILVER BULLET, my parents and grandparents had rented the film somewhere, I wanna say around 1986, and me being the curious little shit I am, sat in on most of it until I freaked out at the infamous church scene, crying my eyeballs out at the visions of everyone, including kids turning into werewolves. That memory stuck with me forever and induced nightmares for months where I would have night terrors of either me, or my parents transforming into hairy-murderous lycanthropes. A few years later, I turned that fear into comfort being the sociopath I am, and SILVER BULLET was in my personal steady rotation, so much so I went to sleep with it almost every night for months on end. I can’t explain it, but all of that is true. Perhaps it was some sort of way of fighting those fearful feelings. I’m 41 years old and to remember vividly nightmares I had when I was 4 fucking years old, shows you how extreme that shit was. Eh, anyways, this all had to be said for a little context so I can explain the next part: YES I WAS SCARED SHITLESS OF THRILLER AS WELL thanks to that werewolf scene.

But only that part alone, before the actual music video started to take off. I fucking loved the zombies, the dance, everything else going on. Just not the goddamn werewolf scene or the very end stare with those yellow eyes.

Big fat fucking nope for me.

My dad, again bless his heart, tried to soothe my fears by telling me a great big fat lie how he was one of the zombies in the music video. Yep. You read that right. The man claimed to be one of those dancing dead fucks. Nice thought, but the only dance moves I ever saw him do was the robot, so I wasn’t buying it.

While I may have been no stranger to the horror genre before ever seeing the 14-minute masterful music video directed by John Landis (An American Werewolf in London, Innocent Blood), for an entire generation of kids who didn’t know Michael Myers from Jason Voorhees, they got their first taste of the horror genre in a wildly popular song turned into a short film that anyone, who is anyone saw. It was groundbreaking to say the very least, and a gateway of curiosity for kids and young adults to explore the genre of horror films. “Thriller” led to a massive interest in renting films like, of course, AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF OF LONDON, and George Romero’s zombie flicks like NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and DAWN OF THE DEAD by a younger generation and sparked a resurgence, especially of those films mentioned. As for me, “Thriller” was actually my introduction to Vincent Price. While the first part of the video scared the crap out of me, his voiceover was so damn soothing to my anxiety- and I’ve been obsessed with the guy ever since.

40 years later, the land marking video still has a strong impact and on its Ruby Anniversary, Showtime is releasing a documentary that airs on December 2nd, 2023 which takes fans back in time to experience the making of the record-breaking album and the release of the accompanying short film that forever redefined the music video format and introduced a new generation to the world of horror.

Now, let’s roll those shoulders, give a quick head jolt, and celebrate this fantastic piece of horror history!

Lists

5 Essential Thanksgiving Specials From Our Childhood

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When it comes to Holiday specials, Halloween and Christmas seem to take the lead over all other holidays- and I mean, I’m never opposed to an over-saturation of Halloween TV for my eyeholes. However, Thanksgiving, which is certainly underrated as far as good TV is concerned, has had its fair share of quality holiday-themed episodes and specials that aren’t given as much love as the aforementioned celebratory occasions that come before and after Turkey Day.

Talk about middle child syndrome, eh?

I thought it was always kind of weird no one talks about these specials a lot because what else are you doing on Thanksgiving after eating yourself into a turkey coma? You lay on the couch, snuggled up in your favorite blanket, and zombie out on some TV. Now, when I was a kid, Thanksgiving Day was all about sports and of course, the all-important Survivor Series. But I gotta give some of these other holiday boob-tube feasts their due for amping us up for the upcoming day of gluttony, which has become a November tradition for myself the week leading up to the big day.

So in no particular order, let’s get to it!

Let’s start with the obvious…

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

To be perfectly honest, no other special gets me quite in the mood for a jelly bean and popcorn feast quite like the 1973 Charlie Brown fiasco. As a matter of fact, I almost prefer watching this over the “Great Pumpkin”. This installment is everything that is so right about a Charlie Brown special, with the added bonus of Snoopy fighting with a lawn chair, which is probably my favorite thing in that whole episode. I can’t go to long into Turkey Day without humming that soulful tune, of “Little Birdie”, while wanting to strangle a few family members at the dinner table. It’s also brought about my own little tradition of recreating the Snoopy a La Thanksgiving feast every year, and it’s definitely a highlight among the madness throughout the day.

The Simpsons – “Bart vs. Thanksgiving”

In The Simpsons’ very first Thanksgiving episode back in 1990, the animated family were peaking into superstardom and Bart’s antics that “ruin” the holiday and lead him into his own Thanksgiving adventure on the streets of Springfield live in my mind rent-free all year ’round. Also, from the moment I saw this, I always refer to that jellied can of blob as Cranberry Sauce A La Bart.

Roseanne- “Thanksgiving” (1991)

Roseanne undoubtedly for years, was the Queen of Halloween in the sitcom world and when Thanksgiving rolled around, this was no different as several seasons of the show made sure to make a Thanksgiving episode full of chaos and smart-ass remarks at the dinner table. Out of the few they’ve done, my personal favorite was from Season 4 simply entitled “Thanksgiving” where Roseanne’s grandmother, played by Shelly Winters and her now husbandless mother are the guests of honor among teenage Becky strife, Darlene’s emo goth phase, and a couple of secrets that come to light. Just another day in the Connor household.

The Star Wars Holiday Special

I’m not an overly enthusiastic Star Wars fan, but I can always appreciate it for what it is, and what I can appreciate the most is this bastardizing, kooky-ass special that ran the week before Thanksgiving in 1978 on CBS. I watch it yearly, mainly because it’s just so batshit crazy as most everything that came out of the 70s usually was… a drug-fueled mish-mosh of chaos, and this is no exception. We got a couple of wookies, Jefferson Starship, and the magnificent Bea Arthur belting out in song at the Cantina, which is obviously the greatest part about this whole thing. I wonder if Bea’s back hurt carrying this entire special?

Garfield’s Thanksgiving

Garfield’s Thanksgiving Special from 1989 doesn’t nearly get the love it deserves, as his Halloween Adventure four years prior seems to remain the nostalgic favorite. But there’s one thing here that this special has, the other doesn’t: and that’s mother fucking Grandma Arbuckle. Voiced by Pat Carroll (Ursula/ The Little Mermaid), only briefly appears, not even staying for dinner but she steals the whole show. Grandma Arbuckle’s ability to make croquettes out of a ruined turkey is inspiring to say the least for those of us who burn shit on the regular.

And with that, my Thanksgiving gift to you my turkey nuggets is the cartoon shown here in full. Now Do the mashed potato, do the candied yam. Do the funky turkey, cause it’s time to jam.

Editorials

Ivan Drago: The Horror Icon of the Rocky Franchise

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As a youngling, and to this very day, Stallone’s Rocky character was and is my goddamn hero. The message of the Rocky films, and the character itself is so powerful-which is why it remains such a time-honored classic. Never give up, chase your dreams, and be the best you, you can be. A solid lesson in life that any adult or child should take and run with. As a kid, I was obsessed with these movies (I still totally am) because of the exuberant heart this franchise lies on the line.

OK, the sweet-ass montages might play a part in this as well. Warning: Watching this video may cause a sudden sprout of chest hairs. 

Now, by the time Rocky IV came around in 1985, our Italian Stallion seemed to be on top of the world. He’s the undisputed champion, gained a best friend in his two-time opponent Apollo Creed, and has more money than I think he knows how to spend- I mean, the guy is buying robot slaves for people’s birthdays. Must be nice, eh? Things seem exactly where they should be in Roc’s life, and seriously, nobody deserves it more than him.

But that’s how most horror movies start out, isn’t it?

An up-and-coming Russian boxer, Ivan Drago, invades into the US with his Olympic Gold-medalist wife, and his evil as Hell political posse looking to pick a fight with Balboa. They figure he’s the best, so why not go straight for it. However, Creed who is a bit past his prime opts to fight in an exhibition match with the silent blonde giant in what seems like the result of both a little jealousy, and the fact he needs to prove he’s still got it as a fighter.

BIG MISTAKE THERE BUDDY- IT AIN’T ALL IN THE HIPS.

The sequence we see before the actual match between Drago and Creed, scared the literal crap out of me as a kid. I mean, his silent stance and glaring eyes are intimidating enough. His character really doesn’t need any extra help to look like a goddamn murderer waiting to snap. But hey, enter composing score genius Vince DiCola, and everyone is about to shit their pants.

Then what happens? Drago KILLS Creed. Completely pulverizes this man’s face and bashes his brain in until Apollo is left twitching on the mat. All as his poor wife looks on in horror. As a kid seeing this for the first time, I just sat there and cried my damn eyeballs out. I couldn’t believe this shit. This monster, glaring into Rocky’s eyes, while wife Ludmilla (Brigitte Nielson)  is sitting at her table smoking and smirking like a jerkoff, expresses zero emotion with no fucks given for what he just did. Them’s are the traits of a classic serial killer folks.

“If he dies, he dies..”

What a heartless asshole.

So of course, Rocky needs to seek his vengeance. He heads to Russia (per the terms to fight Drago), grows an epic beard, and trains like a madman to face his most challenging and scariest opponent to date. While an argument can be made that Drago was controlled and treated like a lab rat by his handlers, I like to think he had some sort of control of what he was doing. Towards the end of the fight with Rocky, he clearly lets the higher powers know he IS running the show. So perhaps he’s been influenced a tad, but I really don’t think they were totally to blame here.

In actuality, we really don’t know anything about Drago or his background before his fight with Creed- expect for he was a soldier. The absence of understanding what makes him tick, his tense presence, and that spine-shivering Drago Suite make him a scary character in the world of cinema indeed. I could even go as far to compare him to Michael Myers. Oh yes, we’re going there. Everything I just said about Drago, applies to Haddonfield’s finest maniac as well. Regarding the first Halloween film, Myers was an effective and scary-as-hell villain because he had no rhyme or reason, no background explanation and John Carpenter’s chilling score made him all that much more frightening.

So yeah, as a child fearing for the life of my beloved hero at the hands of a soulless, steroid-infused boxer was quite terrifying by any means. I’m not going to lie, hearing that DiCola theme still gives me a bit of the skeevies. So here’s to you Ivan Drago: the unnamed horror icon hiding in plain sight inside the Rocky franchise.

Worth noting, however, that they missed a glorious opportunity in CREED 2 to bring back the Drago Suite. I would have had a happy heart attack.

Rocky IV