All posts by Patti PaulterGeist

Owner, operator, and fuzzy retro feelers giver at NightmareNostalgia.com. Worshipper of our Lord and savior Boo Berry, Patti is a seasoned pro having written for the top horror websites and magazines over the past few years until she decided to go balls to the wall and make her own focusing on pure feel-good nostalgia. Mom to two humans and three furballs.
Lists

5 Essential Thanksgiving Specials From Our Childhood

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When it comes to Holiday specials, Halloween and Christmas seem to take the lead over all other holidays- and I mean, I’m never opposed to an over-saturation of Halloween TV for my eyeholes. However, Thanksgiving, which is certainly underrated as far as good TV is concerned, has had its fair share of quality holiday-themed episodes and specials that aren’t given as much love as the aforementioned celebratory occasions that come before and after Turkey Day.

Talk about middle child syndrome, eh?

I thought it was always kind of weird no one talks about these specials a lot because what else are you doing on Thanksgiving after eating yourself into a turkey coma? You lay on the couch, snuggled up in your favorite blanket, and zombie out on some TV. Now, when I was a kid, Thanksgiving Day was all about sports and of course, the all-important Survivor Series. But I gotta give some of these other holiday boob-tube feasts their due for amping us up for the upcoming day of gluttony, which has become a November tradition for myself the week leading up to the big day.

So in no particular order, let’s get to it!

Let’s start with the obvious…

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

To be perfectly honest, no other special gets me quite in the mood for a jelly bean and popcorn feast quite like the 1973 Charlie Brown fiasco. As a matter of fact, I almost prefer watching this over the “Great Pumpkin”. This installment is everything that is so right about a Charlie Brown special, with the added bonus of Snoopy fighting with a lawn chair, which is probably my favorite thing in that whole episode. I can’t go to long into Turkey Day without humming that soulful tune, of “Little Birdie”, while wanting to strangle a few family members at the dinner table. It’s also brought about my own little tradition of recreating the Snoopy a La Thanksgiving feast every year, and it’s definitely a highlight among the madness throughout the day.

The Simpsons – “Bart vs. Thanksgiving”

In The Simpsons’ very first Thanksgiving episode back in 1990, the animated family were peaking into superstardom and Bart’s antics that “ruin” the holiday and lead him into his own Thanksgiving adventure on the streets of Springfield live in my mind rent-free all year ’round. Also, from the moment I saw this, I always refer to that jellied can of blob as Cranberry Sauce A La Bart.

Roseanne- “Thanksgiving” (1991)

Roseanne undoubtedly for years, was the Queen of Halloween in the sitcom world and when Thanksgiving rolled around, this was no different as several seasons of the show made sure to make a Thanksgiving episode full of chaos and smart-ass remarks at the dinner table. Out of the few they’ve done, my personal favorite was from Season 4 simply entitled “Thanksgiving” where Roseanne’s grandmother, played by Shelly Winters and her now husbandless mother are the guests of honor among teenage Becky strife, Darlene’s emo goth phase, and a couple of secrets that come to light. Just another day in the Connor household.

The Star Wars Holiday Special

I’m not an overly enthusiastic Star Wars fan, but I can always appreciate it for what it is, and what I can appreciate the most is this bastardizing, kooky-ass special that ran the week before Thanksgiving in 1978 on CBS. I watch it yearly, mainly because it’s just so batshit crazy as most everything that came out of the 70s usually was… a drug-fueled mish-mosh of chaos, and this is no exception. We got a couple of wookies, Jefferson Starship, and the magnificent Bea Arthur belting out in song at the Cantina, which is obviously the greatest part about this whole thing. I wonder if Bea’s back hurt carrying this entire special?

Garfield’s Thanksgiving

Garfield’s Thanksgiving Special from 1989 doesn’t nearly get the love it deserves, as his Halloween Adventure four years prior seems to remain the nostalgic favorite. But there’s one thing here that this special has, the other doesn’t: and that’s mother fucking Grandma Arbuckle. Voiced by Pat Carroll (Ursula/ The Little Mermaid), only briefly appears, not even staying for dinner but she steals the whole show. Grandma Arbuckle’s ability to make croquettes out of a ruined turkey is inspiring to say the least for those of us who burn shit on the regular.

And with that, my Thanksgiving gift to you my turkey nuggets is the cartoon shown here in full. Now Do the mashed potato, do the candied yam. Do the funky turkey, cause it’s time to jam.

Editorials

Sonic BOOM! It’s The 1993 Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade

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As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. KIDDING, but hey, I couldn’t help myself. But seriously, as far back as I can recall, many Turkey Day moons ago, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade was always a tradition in our house on Turkey Day. Waking up every year as a kid to my grandmother already roasting the turkey and my dad shucking clams in the kitchen for Clams Oreganata as the Macy’s parade began on the television, is one of my favorite pieces of memory nostalgia. I’m forever a Halloween girl, but Thanksgiving is really not far behind as the day was a huge event for our large New York, bred-mouthy Italian family. And it was never complete without, of course, said parade here at least serving as background noise.

Also, my brother and I could never watch the parade without this Charlie Brown junk food feast being served promptly at 10 AM; as per tradition and to this very day, I still put together this monstrosity for nostalgia’s sake and per the request of my own brilliant children from their blockhead of a mother.

For the past few years, I’ve selectively talked about a couple of Macy’s parades here on the blog for November, and this year ain’t no different folks. Today, we’re rewinding 30 years back to 1993 and the 67th annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade held on November 25th, 1993 on a very windy Turkey Day morning that ended up causing a bit of chaos on the parade balloon front that would make this one of the more memorable parades of the past few decades for those that witnessed it.

Joining the alumni balloons of Ronald McDonald, Garfield, and Bart Simpson were parade first-timers Rex (We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story), that loveable Saint Bernard Beethoven, and of course, the newly crowned console king-Sonic the Hedgehog as SEGA was massively outperforming Nintendo in 1993. However, the hedgehog’s huge head over the console war domination would be deflated courtesy of strong winds blowing over 6th Avenue, leaving spectators scrambling out of fear and injuring two people in the process.

Of course, this was never shown on live TV, but most people knew about the incident and saw pictures via the news of the deflated balloon on the ground. However, footage of the big pop itself went mysteriously missing for years up until 2019 when ABC7NY released archival footage showing the pop that really did sound like a sonic boom, ironically.

Another fatality of the weather that day was ol’ boy Rex. Fate would have it that Rex’s inclusion in the parade would be a perfect example of irony because the movie’s main set piece is a musical number set during the Macy’s Parade where Rex pops a dinosaur balloon. Hilariously enough, the Macy’s Rex head popped at pretty much the beginning of the parade route and instead of removing the balloon entirely, those determined bastards at Macy’s let a headless Rex roam down 6th Avenue and beyond, not giving any fucks about it. The live program swapped in footage from the test flight prior to the parade (notice the complete lack of buildings and different color sky?) and towards the end, cut to a live shot carefully framed to try and hide the deflated noggin of the cartoon dinosaur.

Fantastic.

I mean, the whole parade wasn’t a complete nightmare. We had world-renowned singing artists Shari Lewis with Lambchop and Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas singing Christmas songs!?

Umm, Ok. Maybe it was pretty bad. But hey, let’s watch the shit show together, shall we? At least Bart Simpson rode those winds like the pro he was, even though the winds carved through his ribs like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Grab your plate of popcorn, toast, and jellybeans for this one!

Editorials

Ivan Drago: The Horror Icon of the Rocky Franchise

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As a youngling, and to this very day, Stallone’s Rocky character was and is my goddamn hero. The message of the Rocky films, and the character itself is so powerful-which is why it remains such a time-honored classic. Never give up, chase your dreams, and be the best you, you can be. A solid lesson in life that any adult or child should take and run with. As a kid, I was obsessed with these movies (I still totally am) because of the exuberant heart this franchise lies on the line.

OK, the sweet-ass montages might play a part in this as well. Warning: Watching this video may cause a sudden sprout of chest hairs. 

Now, by the time Rocky IV came around in 1985, our Italian Stallion seemed to be on top of the world. He’s the undisputed champion, gained a best friend in his two-time opponent Apollo Creed, and has more money than I think he knows how to spend- I mean, the guy is buying robot slaves for people’s birthdays. Must be nice, eh? Things seem exactly where they should be in Roc’s life, and seriously, nobody deserves it more than him.

But that’s how most horror movies start out, isn’t it?

An up-and-coming Russian boxer, Ivan Drago, invades into the US with his Olympic Gold-medalist wife, and his evil as Hell political posse looking to pick a fight with Balboa. They figure he’s the best, so why not go straight for it. However, Creed who is a bit past his prime opts to fight in an exhibition match with the silent blonde giant in what seems like the result of both a little jealousy, and the fact he needs to prove he’s still got it as a fighter.

BIG MISTAKE THERE BUDDY- IT AIN’T ALL IN THE HIPS.

The sequence we see before the actual match between Drago and Creed, scared the literal crap out of me as a kid. I mean, his silent stance and glaring eyes are intimidating enough. His character really doesn’t need any extra help to look like a goddamn murderer waiting to snap. But hey, enter composing score genius Vince DiCola, and everyone is about to shit their pants.

Then what happens? Drago KILLS Creed. Completely pulverizes this man’s face and bashes his brain in until Apollo is left twitching on the mat. All as his poor wife looks on in horror. As a kid seeing this for the first time, I just sat there and cried my damn eyeballs out. I couldn’t believe this shit. This monster, glaring into Rocky’s eyes, while wife Ludmilla (Brigitte Nielson)  is sitting at her table smoking and smirking like a jerkoff, expresses zero emotion with no fucks given for what he just did. Them’s are the traits of a classic serial killer folks.

“If he dies, he dies..”

What a heartless asshole.

So of course, Rocky needs to seek his vengeance. He heads to Russia (per the terms to fight Drago), grows an epic beard, and trains like a madman to face his most challenging and scariest opponent to date. While an argument can be made that Drago was controlled and treated like a lab rat by his handlers, I like to think he had some sort of control of what he was doing. Towards the end of the fight with Rocky, he clearly lets the higher powers know he IS running the show. So perhaps he’s been influenced a tad, but I really don’t think they were totally to blame here.

In actuality, we really don’t know anything about Drago or his background before his fight with Creed- expect for he was a soldier. The absence of understanding what makes him tick, his tense presence, and that spine-shivering Drago Suite make him a scary character in the world of cinema indeed. I could even go as far to compare him to Michael Myers. Oh yes, we’re going there. Everything I just said about Drago, applies to Haddonfield’s finest maniac as well. Regarding the first Halloween film, Myers was an effective and scary-as-hell villain because he had no rhyme or reason, no background explanation and John Carpenter’s chilling score made him all that much more frightening.

So yeah, as a child fearing for the life of my beloved hero at the hands of a soulless, steroid-infused boxer was quite terrifying by any means. I’m not going to lie, hearing that DiCola theme still gives me a bit of the skeevies. So here’s to you Ivan Drago: the unnamed horror icon hiding in plain sight inside the Rocky franchise.

Worth noting, however, that they missed a glorious opportunity in CREED 2 to bring back the Drago Suite. I would have had a happy heart attack.

Rocky IV