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Tales From the Video Store: PUPPET MASTER II

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. Oh shit, wrong movie. As far back as I can remember, I was completely enthralled with the killer doll genre, long before Chucky took center stage in 1988 and really kicked off a line of killer doll films from competing studios. It all really started for me with Talky Tina and THE TWILIGHT ZONE, then spilled over into Stuart Gordon’s DOLLS– a film I became obsessed with when I was very young, and still has a grip on me today as an adult. Not long after DOLLS hit video store rental shelves, which is where I discovered it, another film that Charles Band, who produced the 1987 horror flick, and his production company FULL MOON PICTURES showed up in the horror section of my local Mom and Pop Video Store entitled PUPPET MASTER. And this little movie did for FULL MOON what Freddy did for NEW LINE- it built a legacy and a ton of quirky B Horror and straight-to-VHS horror films to follow. And we all have Blade and friends to thank for it.

To be totally transparent, I actually saw PUPPET MASTER II before seeing the first movie. I know, wild; I was totally confused, but it didn’t restrict any love that happened upon my first viewing because I was immediately hooked and went to rent the original the following day. So, hence, the sequel is the one that truly sparked my love for the franchise and the one that remains a favorite. Not just for nostalgic reasons, but I firmly believe this is the best film of the franchise without a doubt.

SYNOPSIS:

The living puppets dig up their dead creator, Andre Toulon. Running low on the secret life-giving fluid, Toulon and his killer creations harvest brain fluid from a team of paranormal investigators at the Bodega Bay Inn. At the same time, Toulon targets a researcher he believes is his reincarnated wife.

Puppet Master II ramps up the body count, expands the franchise lore, and introduces some of the most iconic elements of the entire series. The deadly marionettes-Blade, Jester, Pinhead, Tunneler, and Leech Woman are running out of the mystical green elixir that sustains them. To save themselves, they head to a foggy graveyard, dig up the mummified corpse of their creator Andre Toulon, and bring him back from the dead.

Toulon is now alive, but he is a decomposing mess wrapped in bandages. To brew a fresh batch of his life-giving serum, he needs a very specific ingredient: fresh human brain tissue. YUMMO. Conveniently, a team of unsuspecting paranormal investigators rolls into the creepy Bodega Bay Inn to look into the events of the first film. Toulon, masquerading as a hotel guest and trying to channel his best Claude Rains impression, unleashes his mini-monsters to harvest the team’s grey matter.

Things take a bizarre turn when Toulon realizes the lead investigator, Carolyn, looks exactly like his deceased wife, Elsa. The plot shifts from a simple slasher into a mad-scientist romance. Toulon concocts a plan to murder Carolyn, kill himself, and transfer both of their souls into life-sized human mannequins so they can live happily ever after.

How romantic. Also the most nightmare-inducing images of the entire movie.

Puppet Master II is also the introduction to one of my favorites of the franchise, TORCH. The only puppet with the absolute balls to kill a kid.

As an 80s kid, I’m a stickler for practical effects, and David Allen’s stop-motion animation gives the puppets a distinct, uncanny movement that CGI just can’t replicate. Which is something I’m afraid of happening, as rumors are circulating that BLUMHOUSE will be rebooting the beloved B Horror franchise in the future. I’m all for breathing new life into the puppets of my generation, but let’s be clear- Blumhouse has always been hit or miss, with a lot more misses, unfortunately, when it comes to horror movie reboots. This is why I can’t even fuck with the new Chucky movies or series. There is way too much CGI going on, and it makes the dolls look even more cheesy than intended and completely unrealistic. I mean, it’s about as fake as you can get, and we’re talking puppets and dolls who come alive from spells and potions. Which is a WILD thing to even say. But I just know that Blumhouse would pull that same kind of shit, and Toulon’s creations will just become another mediocre product from Jason Blum.

Yeah. I said it.

That being said, Puppet Master II perfectly balances genuinely creepy imagery with the delightful, low-budget B-movie charm of the early ’90s, and I’ll always remember the first time I saw it thanks to my local video store. Another treasure that gained momentum through word of mouth, an intriguing VHS cover, and inspired young horror fans to come back for more B horror.

All hail the memories of horror movie video rentals.

35 Years of Trauma: How Stephen King’s “IT” Miniseries Gave an Entire Generation Coulrophobia

The year is 1990. NASA had launched the Hubble Space Telescope, the Undertaker made his national debut at the WWF Survivor Series, and one of Stephen King’s greatest (and most controversial) novels was adapted into a visual nightmare that premiered as a two-part miniseries on ABC on November 18th, 1990. And to put it mildly, kids of the ’90s were never the same after seeing Pennywise on their large, boxy floor television set.

I remember quite vividly as a kid, being hyped up for this television horror event, and while my peers were entangled with the brand-new series Beverly Hills, 90210, all I could think about was this upcoming Stephen King movie about a killer clown. Mind you before you come at me, at this age, I had yet to read the book nor know anything about the story other than what I had seen via TV previews, as afterword I was to discover that Pennywise was more than a clown, and as a young horror nerd, I liked what I saw. So my eyeballs were ready, and after the first night of Part 1, I was both traumatized by a clown with a million teeth and my prepubescent body was enchanted by a young Jonathon Brandis. It was quite a new experience for a movie to both disturb me and set my loins aflame. Rather impressive, actually.

Outta my way, Bev. My heart burns there too.

My pre-teen admiration aside, STEPHEN KING’S “IT”, at the same time set the world on fire and brought about a resurgence in Coulrophobia (fear of clowns) in both young and old; however, for kids my age it begat a fear we never thought we may have, or much thought about and because of Tim Curry’s masterful performance, it ignited a long-standing match against anyone with a painted face of nightmares. I mean, let’s talk turkey since it’s November:  I don’t know if it’s the makeup hiding their real faces; if it’s the sense of enforced fun, this idea that you’ve got to be laughing; or maybe it’s just that we don’t like anything that tricks us repeatedly, and makes us keep coming back for more. Clowns are fools who enjoy making others look foolish, after all. Nothing more distrustful and downright disrespectful than that. It’s as if this fear was hidden in our subconscious and awakened by Stephen King himself. So if clowns didn’t bother you before the premiere of 1990’s IT, they most likely had some sort of uneasy impact on you. Those are just facts.

And if you read the book after watching the miniseries, as many of us did, that didn’t help the cause much.

As long as the miniseries was, clocking in a total of 3 hours and 12 minutes, the experience of watching it seemed like an eternity, but in the best of ways, as Pennywise torments the Losers’ Club through his favorite clown apparition, a werewolf, a sewer-dwelling slime monster, and shape-shifting into seemingly normal inhabitants of Derry. Even IT’s final boss image of what is closest to his true self, a giant spider, with those awful effects that were almost unforgivable even in 1990, all that was merely background noise to Curry’s Pennywise the Dancing Clown and to this day if I were to ask you to paint me a picture of a scary clown, chances are you’re going to show me a picture of Pennywise.

The miniseries itself wasn’t a massive hit at first, but at the time, after the television airing, it was a whisper between kids at the playground that in turn fed into curiosity and ultimately a discovery of one hell of a new fear of clowns. The IT miniseries, among many of Stephen King’s works of the 90s, being adapted into television events like THE STAND, THE LANGOLIERS, and THE SHINING, outclassed them all regarding cult horror classics and mainstay power, and that is largely due to Tim Curry’s Pennywise performance at the end of the day with becoming a larger than life icon in the horror genre. So much so that when the remake was announced back in 2016, the million-dollar question was, “Who exactly has the balls to fill Tim Curry’s clown shoes as Pennywise”? It was Curry’s role and both charming and utterly terrifying rendition that gave an entire generation of kids nightmares and a lifelong fear of clowns. Curry’s ability to articulate the absolute joy in scaring the crap out of the children; children (the Losers’ Club) whom many of us could relate with in one way or another, is to this day unmatched. No matter how much budget you out into a movie, and I’m in no way knocking Skargard’s rendition of IT, but you can’t deny Curry’s study of this otherworldly monster and the impact he had on an entire generation and beyond. He was perfect.

Be proud of that, Tim. Fuck those kids.

Stephen King himself acknowledged, “his novel ‘IT’ probably contributed to your lifelong fear of clowns”, via the Los Angeles Times, and follows it up with, in so many words, “calm your tits, folks”. Real easy coming from a guy who also wrote in an extremely graphic child orgy into said novel. I think it’s safe to assume not a lot of things bother that man. And the resurgence of clown scares before the release of IT (2017), only validate that the character of Pennywise itself, harbors a tremendous influential power over our own psyche. That, in itself, is terrifying enough. To boot, we all know to steer clear of storm drains. Just another added phobia of sewers that at least half of 90s kids have.

Thanks, Stephen King. No, I don’t want it.

Rocky IV at 40: The GOAT of the Franchise Still Delivers Powerful Messages Relevant Today

I don’t exactly remember the first time I experienced Rocky IV in my youth, or any film in the franchise for that matter. What I do know is that the entire series was a normalized staple in the VCR rotation in my VERY ITALIAN household, and for all I know, with my family, I was probably born during Rocky III‘s Eye of the Tiger montage playing in the background- I mean, that would be a pretty sweet way to enter this world. What I do remember, however, is how this movie made me feel watching it not only as a kid, but as a grown adult as well who has faced underdog challenges throughout my forty-something odd years on this planet. And hey, who hasn’t gone through some type of their own personal hell these days, eh?

Up until my later teenage years when you know, I could get a job, buy things on my own and all that wonderful jazz, the only copy I had had of Rocky IV was on a recorded VHS that held three films in this order: Back to the Future, Rocky IV, and A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge; of which we dubbed “the Glorious 1985 Film Saga”. Even better was knowing these films were taped over some sort of aerobics rock exercise videos that would glitch in between each movie, which gave that Scotch homemade VHS some real 80s’ feel-goodness. It was pretty sweet.

Anyways, before I ramble on too much and get off-topic about my weird fetish for VHS recordings, let’s steer into the magnificent yesterworld of Vince DiCola /John Cafferty montages , a rare bearded-Sly, and slave robots.

Oh, and this really phenomenal James Brown number that is about as American as it gets that basically tell the Russian guests to lick their assholes. ‘MURICA.

The Rocky franchise is one of the very few series of films that holds a consistent theme of love and triumph that holds the attention of a variety of audiences, not specifying gender, age, or sexuality, as all can easily relate to feeling like an underdog in all areas of life. However, Rocky IV keeps these themes WHILE adding another life lesson: CHANGE.

1985 begat a very tense period of years between America and the Soviet Union, and Sly had no bones about making his own statement using his beloved character Balboa and his feelings on the situation. The film is riddled with symbolism, metaphors, and well, yes, montages, but hey, those testosterone-filled songs help drive those points home. Take an example, the exhibition match between Apollo Creed and Ivan Drago that starts this whole damn mess. Creed represents the stubborn nature and sometimes ignorantly arrogant nature of America while Drago shadows the very cold and uncertain ways about the Soviet Union. The two are destined to clash, and so they do. With America coming out like a puffer fish so very sure of itself, only to get pummeled, as you should never underestimate what your opponent could and will do to you. The boxing in these films no longer serves as a metaphor for “going the distance”. The athletic aspect in the film now rears into the horrifying world of a war between two powerhouse nations.

Drago is younger, stronger, and the most intimidating opponent Rocky has faced yet. To beat him, Rocky is gonna have to change his approach. He has to work harder. Train harder. Give it every goddamn thing he has if he is to literally come out of this mess alive. The Soviet Union was formed in 1922, and while this film is set 63 years later, in territorial terms, that is fairly young. So what does the Rock do? He sends himself into the lion’s den (the heart of Moscow) to train in the most barbaric and simplistic of ways possible. All while growing a most excellent machismo man beard scruff. Facing harsh criticism, unwelcoming neighbors and being babysat by Russian nationals all along the way, Rocky devotes every second of the day and night to strengthening not only his physique, but his mind as well to focus on one thing and one thing only-sheer victory.

Regarding the final fight, the imminent theme of change begins as our American hero is booed all the way to the ring. The entrance is dark, dank, and smells of uncertainty. Whereas Drago’s entrance tells the same tale only with a favorable crowd and a WAY more sinister feeling, we will definitely attribute Dicola’s Drago Suite to the anxiety in the room as we prepare for war.

As the fight progresses and the pair of soldiers are beating the ever-loving shit out of each other, the change begins. As Rocky, our series underdog, keeps taking the licks and getting back up, the communist crowd begins to favor the Italian Stallion and his perseverance. This of course, doesn’t sit well with the Russian officials overseeing the fight, and one of Drago’s main drug-dealers, erm, I mean overseers runs down to the ring to give him a good what-for. Drago ain’t having this shit and basically tells him to fuck off while throwing his little ass to the ground. Throughout the film, Drago is seen sort of like an object. A Russian robot slave with no authority over himself. This is the turning of the tides in the film where he is no longer fighting for anyone but himself. However, too little too late as Rocky has the upper hand with his unforgettable determination and gives him a good knock to the jaw, putting him out for good.

And then… the speech. The speech of change. A speech just as relevant now as it was then and will forever be so in this insane world that we live in, under constant threat, it seems, and not just from outside forces, but within ourselves in our own backyard, since the political climate has become so divided- I can say calling us the “United States” right now is laughable.

If we can band together to come to a consensus, regardless of our background, beliefs, we can live peacefully and without regret. The powers at be want anything BUT that, and by keeping us at each other’s throats with nonsense accusations, hateful speech, and unwilling discourse, they have us right where they want us. We must change. Listen to each other and take a lesson from Rocky before we become our own demise. There’s no easy way out, and there’s no shortcut home- but we can certainly try to get back to being civil to one another.

ROCKY IV (The Director’s Cut) is being re-released in theaters for its 40th anniversary, and of course, I would highly recommend seeing it on the big screen! Check your local showtimes on FANDANGO here.