Category Archives: Editorials

Let’s Look At the Rare, Extended Helicopter Attack Scene In “Jaws 2”!

The epic sequel to Spielberg’s 1975 film that had us all fearing for our lives stepping foot on a beach, has turned the classic, 40 years young. And to celebrate, I’m showcasing what the MMPA decided to censor to audiences theatrically back in 1978 for JAWS 2– the goddamn death of the helicopter pilot! And if you haven’t seen it, trust me, it’s so damn satisfying.

As "JAWS 2" Turns 40, Let's Look At the Rare, Extended Helicopter Attack Scene!

Yes, friends, another animatronic Bruce came back to terrorize Amity Island as revenge for Bruce numero uno being blown to smithereens by the local sheriff. While I certainly have a lot of love for this movie, I mean fucken aye it’s JAWS people, it certainly restricted itself on the lack of blood as opposed to the first film. In fairness, there wasn’t a TON of gore in the original JAWS. However, this one had barely any at all. And we’re talking shark attacks here! You’d assume there would be buckets of red corn syrup all over the damn screen. But alas, on the heels of the mondo success of the first film and cringing studio execs, JAWS 2 had to be watered down a tad to appease the pearl clutchers of the generation.

Before we get to the scene in question, that was shown during various TV runs during the 80s (which is why I even knew it existed), can we just appreciate how badass Bruce II really is? I mean, this shark seems ten times scarier and more malevolent than its brother, cousin, or whatever from the first movie. Not only does it take down the water skier in the first half of the film, but the boat and driver with it, resulting in blowing the damn thing up. Of course, that was the work of the obviously terrified boat driver in the midst of a Great White eating her boat, but eh, gotta give credit to Bruce II for making it possible. And then we have this wonderful helicopter scene, in which if you’ve seen the cut version only, kind of raises some questions on the whereabouts of the pilot.

Here we have this poor guy just trying to do his damn job and help these teenagers out. Bruce II isn’t having any of this shit. He’s like, “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO HELP THESE KIDS! I’LL SHOW YOU BY GOD.” And he sinks a friggin’ helicopter. But, what the hell happened to the pilot? We can just assume he drowned, if anything. And he does, of course, but we actually get to see it this time. And it looks as if he serves as a tasty snack after all for the hungry island visitor. Visual satisfaction at the very least. Also, if you listen very closely, the pilot’s screams sound an awful lot like Hooper’s when he’s attacked underwater in the shark cage.

So here it is! Originally uploaded on YouTube by James Mercuri. 

Happy Birthday to Horror King – Robert Englund! The Man and the Monsters!

For my generation no other actor embodied horror back in the blessed eighties quite like Robert Englund. He simply was the grinning face of pure evil. Of course, he wasn’t the only evil icon of cinematic terror in those days. Luckily we had plenty to choose from – Jason, Chucky, Michael Myers – but Robert Englund gave us Freddy Krueger, and Freddy gave us all nightmares.

 

Horror Freak News
image via Horror Freak News

 

Freddy was not hidden behind a mask and that set him apart from the rest. We could see the evil glint in his eyes as he taunted his prey and relished in their hysteria as slowly they realized how inevitable their coming demise was. Krueger had emotions and a sick sense of humor. He loved what he did, and his giddiness made us fall in love with his movies.

How can you escape a dream? That’s the genius of Wes Craven’s Nightmare on Elm Street. You can’t escape dreams – at least not for long – because ultimately you cannot run away from sleep. Our bodies simply demand rest. We can hold out for several days but sooner or later the body will shut down against our will, and there, in that ethereal state of slumber and vulnerability, the Dream Demon awaits. Freddy was the kind of evil that laughed at your pain as he found new inventive ways to kill each of his prey.

 

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Without Robert Englund’s enthusiasm and dastardly charisma the entire experience would have been, well not only different, but I have to wonder if it would have worked at all. As the remake proved – there just is no replacing Englund when it comes to Elm Street.

 

nightmareonelmstreet wikia
image via nightmareonelmstreet wikia

 

Originally, David Warner (The Omen) was up for the role and was Craven’s first choice to wear the razor-tipped glove. Albeit that would have been very interesting to see, but it’s still very hard to imagine.

 

ign
image via IGN

 

While Freddy ruled the dreamworld from his hellish boiler room, Robert Englund brought another monster to life, one we all knew of and that hailed from the classic age. Englund’s exploits would turn the Opera House of Paris into a bloodbath of carnage and lust as he finally went behind a mask and played The Phantom of the Opera.

This is a unique take on the French classic tale of obsession and murder. Don’t expect Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music in this one, but the movie is a full orchestra of violence and horror. Taking Gaston Leroux’s classic story, they turned it into a modern-day slasher classic as only the talents of Robert Englund’s sadistic manner could do.

 

Daily Dead
image via Daily Dead

 

But I would be ashamed of myself if I neglected to mention one of my personal favorite movies Robert Englund brings to life. As a matter of fact I think this movie would be nothing more than a rotting pile of rat dicks had it not his charisma and gritty charm to carry it. I’m talking about The Mangler.

 

cgentertainment
image via cgentertainment

 

Adapted from a Stephen King short story, this movie really shouldn’t even exist. It’s just so fucking stupid but in all the right ways. It’s a story about a killer laundry press, folks. And the mechanical beast is out for blood!

Ruling over this dingy abyss of broken dreams and sadness is our beloved Robert Englund. He is the manager around these here parts and doesn’t kindly care too much about whose blood gets spilled on the job. One accident isn’t enough to shut down business, people! You clean up the mess and forget it ever happened. It doesn’t matter how mangled up the remains are. You sweep them up and spray it away with the hose. Then get back to work! Now! No matter how mean your boss might be, I can guarantee few managers ever come close to the smarminess of this stuck-up dickhead. And we love him for it.

 

F This Movie
image via F This Movie

 

These are my three favorite roles he’s played, but they are not the extent of his colorful career. Robert Englund has been in Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive, 2,001 Maniacs, Zombie Strippers and so many more. Each one is worth viewing or re-watching.

 

IGN
image via IGN Entertainment

 

So here’s to Robert Englund. Thank you for giving us so many chills and thrills! May you see many more birthdays to come! We love you!

In Memorium: The Majesty of Bill Gold and the Movie Poster

As you may, or may not have heard, the legendary Bill Gold sadly passed away on May 20th, 2018 at the respectable age of 96. Some of you may be asking the obvious question, “Who the hell is Bill Gold?” Well, if you’re not balls deep into the cinematic world of art and film, it’s quite possible you may have never heard the name. However, I guarantee you’ve seen the man’s work and didn’t even realize it.

Born on January 3rd, 1921, American graphic designer William Gold is wildly known throughout the entertainment industry as the go-to-man for movie poster art to promote films. With a career spanning over 60 years in the business, Gold is responsible for the art of over 2,000 movie posters going all the way back to the golden year of 1942 with Yankee Doodle Dandy, ending with his final work for J. Edgar in 2011. With graduate schooling from the Pratt Institute, Gold poured his heart and soul into cinematic artwork for films that have imprinted their own legacy in the world of visual culture including the beloved horror genre. Movie posters such as The Exorcist, The Exorcist II: The Heretic The Funhouse, Alien, and Kubrick’s cinematic masterpiece A Clockwork Orange are directly from the mind of Bill Gold. In particular, with such an iconic black and white foggy visual that we all know from the 1973 massive achievement in horror, I think we all need to collectively give at least sixty seconds of silence to the man who without his talent, the art we associate these films with would have never been.

 

 

If you’d like to send your respects, the family asks donations be made to the Fisher Center for Alzheimer’s Research Foundation in honor of Bill Gold.