Category Archives: Lists

10 Side Characters From the “Friday The 13th” Films That Deserve More Praise

With horror fans, the Friday the 13th franchise is a necessary essential and rite of passage for all of us burrowing our way through the genre. Whether you’re new to the fandom or a long-standing, card-carrying member, you’ve at the very least seen ONE of the original 10 films that made Jason Voorhees a household name. Everyone has their favorite entry, their favorite final girl, and their favorite Jason. It’s always a hot-button topic with the horror community and a fun debate at that. And I’ll even indulge that very query with my own personal favorites of said topics:

Favorite Entry: Friday the 13th: Jason Lives

Favorite Final Girl: Ginny (Amy Steel)

Favorite Jason: CJ Graham ( I know shocker it’s not Kane, right)

But what about the hundreds of side characters that didn’t quite make it to the end and served as either one of the film’s kill-count casualties along the way, or were merely placed there for pacing purposes? There are NOT enough conversations about side characters like Ethyl and Junor and I’m here to remedy this bullshit. So let’s give some credit and praise where it’s rightfully due and champion these performances that made the films that much more enjoyable.

10. Harold Hockett

Nobody says a word about the animal-loving Harold but let’s get one thing straight here- While Jason obtained his iconic hockey mask from Shelly Finkelstein, he stole his new shirt and pants from Harold’s wardrobe, which he wore for many years and was even buried in. He does not appear to get a new outfit until Jason Goes to Hell, due to the fact these dubs were likely destroyed during his battle with toxic waste in the sewers of Manhattan.

Harold helped set the pace and opening for Part III and seemed like a genuinely nice dude who didn’t deserve the wrath of Voorhees. So, let’s honor the guy and remember that that legacy of his pants lives on in at least 5 movies after this one.

9. Joey and Vic

Joey and Vic are a package deal here because without their fateful interaction, all brought on by a chocolate bar, Part V would have never happened. Kinda gives that old saying, “Death By Chocolate” some weight, eh? So we really have to tip our hats to this odd couple of unstable teenagers for one of the most gruesome and memorable scenes from the entire franchise of films. Also, who in their right mind gives a mentally unstable person a fucking ax?! This is just bonkers and welp, I’m here for it.

8. Demon

Demon’s appearance in The New Beginning was brief but impactful- also probably the most quoted with “Them Damn Enchiladas“. I can’t be the only one who simply can NOT just say enchiladas when they’re around. They are specifically referred to as THEM DAMN ENCHILADAS. Also, I’ve never seen a movie where enchiladas were the cause of death-well indirectly but if it weren’t for them damn enchiladas, Demon would still be alive singing sweet tunes with Anita. Another damn fine memorable scene from the films that deserves all the recognition. Plus, that run to the shitter had me laughing my ASS off. No pun intended.

7. Julius

Out of all the “side characters” on this list, Julius from Jason Takes Manhattan had the strongest supporting role for our heroes and final girls/guys- along with hands-down, one of the most amusing scenes and deaths from the entire bracket of Friday movies.

Julius was a cocky dude, but I think his heart was in the right place. However, that cockiness got him killed thinking he could take on a Zombie Jason with nothing but his fists. Damn, I wish I had that sort of confidence. Whether you’re a fan of Part VIII or not, you gotta admit this aside from the Time Square scene with the stereo is the absolute highlight of the movie. Thanks Julius for not using and losing your head on this one.

6. Shelly Finklestein

A lot of people surprisingly shit on Shelly and I don’t understand why. He’s such a delightful dork and for me personally, it’s hard to dislike his lighthearted demeanor, even if some of his pranks are annoying to his friends. Love him or hate him, we have Sheldon to thank for Jason’s iconic Hockey Mask look and without his character, the Friday films would have gone on with Voorhees with a paper bag over his dome. Also, I don’t think a lot of fans are taking Shelly’s character into consideration when the movie was attempting to fan service the horror fans with his character. Maybe it’s not spot on, but I can’t hate on a fellow horror nerd. So let’s here’s one for Sheldon and the bullied fans of the genre.

5. Violet

Violet would be seen by most as sort of a bitch, but I didn’t see her that way at all. She was just a misunderstood, troubled teenager that seemed lost- leading to some attitude issues and distancing herself from others to avoid interaction and disappointment. That’s the psychology side of my brain talking, or rather, my inner Hannibal Lecter as I like to refer to it as.

She was also seen as inclusive to those suffering from anxiety and depression or bipolar disorders because her types of “lash-outs” are very similar to those who suffer. There’s no harm in it, but it can be seen as rude as hell. And then, there’s the infamous room dance. If you weren’t trying to imitate that robot dance in the 80s, what the hell were you even doing? And on a personal note, Jenna Ortega’s Wednesday doesn’t hold a candle to Tiffany Helm’s moves. Here’s to our little Violet, whose original death was much more brutal but axed from the theatrical cut.

4. Sissy

Elizabeth “Sissy” Baker, played by Renée Jones in Jason Lives is just so goddamn likable and in rare form really when it comes to the Friday films when a “side character” is more personable than the final girl herself. Not ragging on Megan by any means, but Sissy here was robbed as SHE should have been our final girl in Part VI. She didn’t deserve to die at all, and if you were gonna kill her off at the very least give her death some meaning. Totally snubbed in all directions. I’ll die on this hill as Sissy being the best Final Girl we SHOULD have had if she had lived to the end. Ah well, at least we have a genuinely nice character in the franchise we collectively all rooted for.

3. Jimmy and Ted

Just like with Vic and Joey, the odd couple of Ted and Jimmy are a package deal as they play off one another to make this dynamic work. Ted(dy Bear) is at peak toxic male masculinity while Jimmy is trying to find love at the stakes of being labeled a “Dead Fuck.” Neither one of these characters work or would even have the impact they had had they had not been coupled together for most of the scenes. The Final Chapter wouldn’t have been nearly as entertaining without them and because of that, let’s go wild with a little LION.

2. Ethyl and Junior

As far as comedic duos go in the Friday franchise, there are none greater than Ethyl and Junior. A lot of people give a LOT of shit towards A New Beginning, but facts are facts: Part V gave us some of the best memorable side characters in the entire franchise and this pair of mother-and-son local yokels dish out some of the most hilarious scenes of all the Friday films here. If Ethyl’s not hitting kids with heavy doses of blind hatred with her sharp tongue, she’s in the kitchen cookin’ “slop” or calling her son “a fucking dildo”, which, to be fair to her, he absolutely is. Also worth noting, as a grown woman myself with my own house, I’d be pretty pissed too if I found some teenagers fuckin like rabbits in my yard.

They just put this bonkers movie over the top and we gotta respect them for it.

Now eat yer fuckin’ stew dildo.

1. Crazy Ralph Neeley

The entire franchise of Friday films owes a debt of gratitude to the prophet of doom “Crazy” Ralph Neeley. He warned those damned kids. He warned everyone. But alas, no one listened. And perhaps that’s a good thing because had they heeded his warning, we wouldn’t have much of a movie now would we? But, the theater-trained Walt Gorney started a chain cliche in following Friday movies. Ralph was the original “red herring” and inspired a reincarnation of this character in sorts; like Abel in Part III , the Cemetary Groundskeeper Martin in Jason Lives!, and the deck hand in Jason Takes Manhattan. Ralph serves as a pioneer in the series for his role and his lines remain the most quoted in the films to date. He even survived the first film altogether, but alas, succumbed to his own prophecy in the direct 1981 sequel.

He wasn’t so crazy after all.

Happy Friday the 13th Nostalgic Nuggets! Let’s chat in the comments below. What’s your favorite side character from the series?

QUINTESSENTIAL QUINTUPLETS: CARPENTER CHARACTERS

Welcome to 2023, Nostalgia Nuggets! It’s my New Year’s resolution to write more, so the curtain shall rise on a fresh top five from a new horror(ish) category every Sunday beginning right now. So, if you’d be so kind, come with me for a minute.

I am fully prepared for the crucifixions to come, beginning with this inaugural list you’ll be dissecting momentarily. But before we begin, just know two things:

First, I love alliteration (and JAWS) so for a serial that deals in fives the title and image just made sense. Second, though this piece pertains to characters from John Carpenter movies, I’d be remiss if I neglect to mention Debra Hill because without Debra Hill, there would be no John Carpenter.

Now, if you don’t mind, let’s dig in because “I’d rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!”

5 — NAPOLEON WILSON (DARWIN JOSTON) — ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 (1976)

Napoleon Wilson’s reputation preceded him. It was never specified what put him on death row, but it was clear that the mere mention of his name struck fear into the hearts of criminals and cops alike. Mysterious yet honorable with a dry sense of humor that pulled you in whether you liked it or not, Darwin Joston ATE as Napoleon Wilson. The man may have been a killer, but he had a code: give respect, get respect. Clearly disarmed when Bishop (Austin Stoker) apologized for not having a smoke, Wilson demonstrated courageous dedication to both the makeshift leader of Precinct 13 and Leigh (Laurie Zimmer), who finally provided Wilson with that long-awaited smoke. It was a loyalty that belied desire for pleasure or escape, because it was about the two things a man should never run from — and those two things landed Wilson on this list.

4 — DR. SAM LOOMIS (DONALD PLEASENCE) — HALLOWEEN (1978)

“I met him, 15 years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding in even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this… six-year-old child with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and… the blackest eyes – the Devil’s eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up, because I realized that what was living behind that boy’s eyes was purely and simply… evil.”

Some might call it fancy talk, but this single moment encapsulated Loomis’ obsession, the driving force behind one of the finest films (and performances) in horror history.

3 — R.J. MacREADY (KURT RUSSELL) — THE THING (1982)

A former Vietnam helicopter pilot and functioning alcoholic who needed to get away from the world — only a little further than most. Mac just wanted to avoid whiteouts and sip J&B in his annexed shack outside Outpost 31 in Antarctica, but after setting out to “save those crazy Swedes” — one of whom shot Mac’s crew mate — strange discoveries began weighing on MacReady’s mind. When it becomes clear that an alien is targeting the camp to mimic and survive, Mac assumes the role of reluctant leader to a crew descending into desperation and distrust. In a stellar ensemble cast, Russell shines as the would-be hero in the wrong place at the right time.

2 — LAURIE STRODE (JAMIE LEE CURTIS) — HALLOWEEN (1978)

“Who needs books?” We thought we were getting to know Lynda when P.J. Soles delivered that dialogue, but in a way she was describing Laurie: never judge a book by its cover. Audiences were led to believe that Strode was apprehensive and meek, but nothing could have been further from the truth. When the chips were on the table, the old Girl Scout not only protected the children under her care but outfought and out-thought the Boogeyman. In the process Laurie Strode became the blueprint by which all horror heroines are judged. As James Jude Courtney, Blumhouse’s Michael Myers has said, Jamie Lee Curtis is “the poster child for an empowered woman”, and has silver on lock.

1 — THE SHAPE (NICK CASTLE) — HALLOWEEN (1978)

We weren’t given much. Michael Myers stabbed his sister to death on Halloween night in 1963, spent the next 15 years at the Smith’s Grove Sanitarium waiting for a silent alarm to trigger him off, and apparently he could drive. But the absence of background and development was why we were fascinated in 1978 and remain so today. In the Haddonfield created by Carpenter (and Hill), evil was a force of nature. Forever lurking. Everywhere. Unstoppable. As a fleshed out character, The Shape has no business on this list let alone topping it, but 44 years after The Babysitter Murders we remain fascinated–nay, obsessed–with a character who has come to define the genre.

Agree? Disagree? Who’d we miss? The floor is open for debate, but know this: my original intent was to drop five characters from five different flicks. However, there was no way I could justify abandoning one of the immortal classic’s three titans.

Till next week…ta-ta.

5 Films That Totally Qualify As Christmas Movies

Sometimes the greatest Christmas movies are ones that don’t really center around the jolly fat man or the holiday spirit entirely. Various instances in film have given us the Christmas theme in the background like a New York City cop fighting terrorists during a big Office Christmas party. Or perhaps an army of Gremlins terrorizing a town on Christmas Eve. I’m not even sure why movies like Die Hard or Gremlins are ever up for debate as far as labeling them as Holiday films; because they 100 % ARE an undeniable fact at that. However, there are some true greats I’ve seen that could totally qualify as Christmas movies right alongside that of Stripe and John McLane and it is my mission to stamp a Santa hat-wearing Sico the Robot as a cinematic staple of the holiday season.

HOOK

Bangarang indeed that Hook is undeniably a Christmas movie. I guess maybe with the late, great Robin Williams’ larger-than-life persona, one could easily forget they’re actually watching a loosely based “Peter Pan” version of Charles Dickens’ “The Christmas Carol”.

Before Peter Banning is bustled off to Neverland to save his kids from the dastardly Hook, Peter and his family arrive in London at Granny Wendy’s home is decked out to the nine in Christmas decor with the score of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” playing in the background. After Peter remembers his origins, defeats Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman), and returns to London with his children, he wakes up in the snow a changed man, grateful to be reunited with his family and determined not to miss another important moment. This, in my mind, mirrors the feel of Ebenezer Scrooge’s newfound grateful attitude and that power/money is trivial; thus reminding us to cherish the time we have we our loved ones. It’s a magical film that represents all the child-like wonder that is felt during the season and was actually released in December of 1991. So I can’t see this as anything but, a Peter Pan holiday movie.

Rocky IV

I’m probably going to hear a barrage of complaints that the national treasure that is Rocky IV is nowhere near a Christmas movie. Lemme stop you right there because you’re wrong and get off my blog right now.

Ok, I’ve gone too far. I apologize, but my feelings are pretty strong on this one.

Case in point: The film’s final fight between Ivan Drago and Rocky takes place on the 25th of December, Christmas Day, in Ivan Drago’s less-than-hospitable home of Russia for 15 rounds of revenge boxing. Let’s be realistic here; my own Italian family has taught me that there is nothing that says Christmas more than two grown men beating the ever-loving shit out of one another. While in my case, it’s usually over something petty, unlike the premise in this film, but eh- close enough.

One of the most tender, feel-good moments of the movie is during the snowy backdrop of the bleak atmosphere of Krasnogourbinsk, Russia where Rocky has just finished one of his many mountain man runs. Rocky is reunited with Adrian in order to give him the final push he needs to avenge the death of his fallen friend. Proving that Christmas time is indeed a magical time to set aside our feelings and be goddamn supportive of one another- even if it is vengeful.

Edward Scissorhands

The Tim Burton Frankenstein/ Grinch hybrid of a yes, Christmas movie has all the makings for a classic tale of that one socially awkward member of the extended family trying their best to fit in at Christmastime while simultaneously not trying to have a nervous breakdown.

I can relate all too well.

Family and love are two biggies you will find in any traditional Christmas movie, and you’ll find that among the madness here in Edward Scissorhands. The Frankenstein of suburbia has been taken off his Grinch’s mountain by the neighborhood Avon lady in an act of, what she thinks is kindness. Which would most certainly be the case in most situations, but not here I guess as, in the end, he is chased back into his safe space lair to live out the rest of his days where he belongs- unjudged.

While the Christmas scenery doesn’t arrive until the last 30 minutes of the film, the spirit of “kindness” and treating others with humility is most certainly holiday-themed exploitation that would not garner as much effect if the holiday season wasn’t present as in the rest of the movie. The Boggs try their damnedest to make Edward feel like one of the family and community, with daughter Kim eventually finding her once disgust towards Edward turning into love and understanding. In the first and second half of the film, Edward is fairly accepted and treated with admiration- even if some of it is pure curiosity and exploitation at some points. It isn’t until the Christmas season that he is demonized by the neighborhood. The juxtaposition of these themes is a major driving point for the movie’s plot: that even in the season of goodwill we can forget to treat others, especially those less fortunate, with grace, understanding, and love. Pretty much like Frankenstein and the Grinch here.

Ahh well, just a reminder that when it snows on Christmas, we know Edward is still around.

Lethal Weapon

Die Hard gets all the Christmas Action Movie glory, but credit where it’s due: Lethal Weapon came out a year earlier and is absolutely a goddamn Christmas movie. Oh and psst, a better one at that.

In the trailer for the 30th-anniversary edition of Die Hard, 20th Century Fox added the tagline, “It’s the greatest Christmas story ever told,” and not only is Lethal Weapon more authentically a Christmas movie in terms of origin, but it offers more of the sweet holiday feelings that Die Hard just never bothers to attempt to engender in the viewer. Between the initial shoot-out at the Christmas Tree Farm and the climatic Busey/Gibson fight on Murtaugh’s festively decorated front lawn, there’s again, another mirroring of a holiday classic- It’s A Wonderful Life.

When you lose important people in your life, you miss them every day. However, there’s no time when that absence is felt more strongly than during Christmas. Christmas can be stressful under the best of circumstances, and for Martin Riggs, the loss of his wife becomes too much to bear. With no family, Riggs contemplates suicide early on but thanks to a new partner and the circumstances surrounding the case they’re working together, Riggs finds a new lease on life echoing that of George Bailey.

I certainly wouldn’t want to live in a world without Martin Riggs, thank you very much- cue that “Jingle Bell Rock”!

Batman Returns

Well, I certainly feel like this is the one alternative Christmas movie I might get the least pushback on. Most people would tend to agree that Batman Returns, while not a traditional Christmas film, still has more than enough of those Christmas aesthetics to qualify as one along with the fact the entire movie is set during the season with Gotham covered in snow and the streets decked out with trees, lights and candy colors. From the red and white of the Penguin’s umbrella to the snow-covered streets of Gotham, the director is dedicated to keeping us steeped in the Christmas spirit. Even Max Schreck’s prototype power plant is all Christmassy, with its red-and-white-striped smokestacks. Speaking of the bastard, with his tousled white hair, red bow tie, and nefarious plans to steal all of the energy from Gotham’s girls and boys, he plays very well as an evil mirror of Santa Claus. How can anyone really deny the Holiday vibin’ here? Yet here we are. Still fighting the good fight to ensure its place among the Hallmark Holiday Movie classics.

Tim Burton’s Batman Returns is a unique film that explores both its heroes and villains deeply as tragic, lonely misfits trying to find meaning during the holidays. Kind of like the “Island of Misfit Toys” in Rudolph but with homicidal tendencies. This movie succeeds on so many levels in invoking the spirit of the holidays in a dark, and gothic way that is unlike any other film on this list.

And maybe, one day Batman Returns will be held in the highest regard as one of the greatest Christmas stories of all time. Because hey, “Things change”.