Category Archives: Lists

Nightmare Nostalgia Ranks The “Halloween” Franchise Opening Credits!

Image September 7, 2023 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

One of the greatest memories of my childhood was the multitude of horror movies that were introduced to me through my Dad and Grandfather (Pop-we called him). Pop was a passionate fan of ALL Universal Horror Monsters films, and on top of watching them endlessly by his side on the nights the grandparents would babysit, I would often admire his complete Universal Monsters VHS Collection and the artwork embodied within it. However, my Dad, albeit a super Frankenstein himself, was more on the Slasher spectrum. And, by the way, is the biggest John Carpenter’s Halloween fan I know. It sounds biased, but being inside the horror community for fifteen years, I stand by that statement- and you could read more about that here.

That being said, the Halloween films were a pretty standard rotation in the ole’ VCR growing up and hell still are. And while I’ve found this to be a pretty common list among the horror website interwebs, they sure as shit aren’t my opinion and that of the greatest Halloween fan I know! So, here we go: Nightmare Nostalgia’s official ranking of all the Halloween opening credits!

I truly feel like I’m really going to make some of you mad. BUT, just remember, my opinion is not yours and we can all agree to disagree!

And no: I’m not including the Rob Zombie versions because of NO.

11. Halloween: Resurrection

With many fans, Resurrection ranks dead last in pretty much all aspects; and here on this list is no exception. Following a very generic version of John Carpenter’s classic tune paired with pitch-black backgrounds and orange credit lettering, we stroll down the halls of the Grace Sanitarium Institution where we meet a seemingly docile Laurie and a pair of nurses who narrate to the audience the very bullshit story of why she’s there. It just sucks when in comparison to ALL the others. Sorry, not sorry.

10. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

In my opinion, and well that’s what this all is, Curse’s opening doesn’t fair much better than Resurrection. The only reason it’s a slot higher is that it’s a lot shorter. The messy intro here that clumsily inserts parts of the film in the damn thing merely sets the tone for the rest of it. One big mess. However, as big a mess as it is, it still isn’t the worst in the franchise by far. Resurrection still holds that title belt.

9. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Ahhh, here we are. The last of the original pumpkin intros in the franchise-up until 2018 of course when they resurrected it. Personally, I rather enjoy the low-key angry tone behind this one in combination with the process of what I would call, The Wild Maniac World of Pumpkin Carving Sports here. However, compared to others before it, it falls short.

8. Halloween H20

The cool newspaper clippings and a throwback to Samuel Loomis speaking his infamous words on what Myers eternally represents is a pretty cool change and so very 90s.

7. Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills may have been a shitshow as far as a decent follow-up to its 2018 predecessor, but at least the pumpkin opening credits were on point. In fact, it’s probably the best party of the whole movie, aside from the throwbacks from the original film.

6. Halloween (2018)

One can certainly appreciate the return of the pumpkin intro via the 2018 franchise’s homecoming. And in such a unique form as the jack-o-lantern has fallen flat and laid dormant for many years, only to be blown up into its original form. Like it never missed a beat. Truly an honorable way to start the Myers madness again!

5. Halloween Ends

For many fans, it seems, Halloween Ends falls way down in the ranks as far as a decent film in the franchise. I definitely have my own opinions on what worked and what didn’t. But overall, it’s certainly not a bad movie. As a huge fan of Halloween III, I can totally appreciate the homage to Season of the Witch here and the idea of Myers passing the torch. Although they’ve tried to do this many times in slasher films, it feels like the studios can’t grow the balls to actually go through with it. I would be OK with Corey continuing the legacy. But now, and it will happen again, we’ll just get another goddamn reboot in 10 years. Oh well, at least the opening rules.

4. Halloween (1978)

Alright. This is the one that MIGHT trigger some pissed-off feelings from fellow fans with regard to ranking. But, I feel like some of the follow-ups were just a smidge more intriguing to my senses. It’s classic, simple, and a perfect start to the Haddonfield journey, whereas the original film was simplistic yet effectively terrifying.

3. Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Love the movie or hate it (and yes it’s still an argument), you are very wrong if you deny the magnificence of thy Magic Pumpkin paired with a sinister synthesizer. The onset of the 80s’ included the launch of a new wave and MTV and this was a perfect representation of what early 80s horror films looked and sounded like. It’s just a staple of an era that many have since used as inspiration- including Stranger Things.

2. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

The return of Myers meant a ditch off the recurring pumpkin intro this time around with a spine-chilling sequence of a sunset on a farm instead. The ambiance of a sinister Autumn setting with the low-tone score, the winds blowing, and Halloween decorations swaying in the breeze always struck the skeevies chord with me. That Michael is still out there. Waiting- and coming soon.

1. Halloween II (1981)

There is just no way in Haddonfield Hell that anyone can convince me otherwise that the sequel to the original isn’t the greatest goddamn gift we’ve ever been given in this franchise. Well, as far as appeasing intros are concerned, anyway. Opening with the events of the last film spilling over to start the continuing journey of cat and mouse between Myers and Laurie, we roll into a perplexed Loomis staggering outside the Doyle home to the spot where Michael had dropped, and only a pool of blood remains. Garnering attention from (finally) a nosy neighbor who has ignored all the blood-curdling screams, and apparently is just NOW paying attention to what’s been going on right next door, annoyingly asks if this is a joke and that “He’s been trick or treated to death tonight.” This leads into one of the greatest lines of this fuckin’ franchise from Loomis himself- “You don’t know what death is!” Who then scurries off around the corner in a wild state.

And then-the glorious, more angry pumpkin intro this time around. The score is more aggressive, much like in the rest of the film, coinciding with an angrier Myers. The pumpkin cracks down the middle to reveal a skull. The symbol that death is coming and isn’t stopping for anyone.

So good.

What’s YOUR favorite Halloween opening sequence? Discuss below in the comments!

Lists

Ten of the Greatest Jump Scares in Horror Movie History

Image July 24, 2023 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

It’s one of the oldest horror movie tropes played in the genre-the jump scare. Some film snobs think it’s cheap, tacky, and just plain overused. I can agree to some extent that it can be used as a lazy way to scare the viewer without putting a lot of effort behind it, however, when done properly, it can elevate the movie to an entirely different level of heightened emotions that leaves us remembering that movie for pretty much the rest of our damn lives. As someone who lives with a debilitating anxiety disorder, the PTSD after a well-executed jump scare is one that I welcome, since I’m just an anxiety cucumber anyway.

You know, mostly made of water and anxiety. Actual photo of me in the wild.

Anyway, the jump scare is a fine art that shouldn’t be used lightly or in a cheap manner that attempts to compensate for poor storytelling in a shit-horror movie. It all comes down to proper timing and set-up for it to actually be a memorable that we, as the viewer, will take home with us thinking about it for days on end. Audio, for example, plays a big part in pulling off a successful startle. An auditory stimulus can be processed faster than a visual one. You can close your eyes or look away from a nasty image, but you sure as shit can’t close off your ears. Sound plays a crucial role in both parts of a scene that end with a jump scare—in both the buildup and the climax. Without sound, establishing an atmosphere of dread or apprehension is crucial for fulfillment, and can make the execution a little more difficult, but the pay-off is unremarkable and, truly, some of the best ones are silent. As stated, for someone like me who dreads the unknown, this is the way to really mess with us.

If you’re like me and jump out of your seat and start air-swimming away like a zany-cartoon character, I see you. And we’re going to honor those moments in horror movies where the jump scare goes from a bargain-basement scare tactic, to a fine art that acknowledges what a filmmaker can do with something simple as a noise or a sudden reveal. Remember-These are just my personal opinions and what has scared the crap out of me.

That being said, I want to start off with an honorary mention that is NOT a horror movie, but a recent series that literally had me throwing a chair because of this startle.

The Haunting of Hill House

I’m usually pretty damn good at predicting when a cinematic rush of adrenaline will happen, but this REALLY caught me off guard and fucked my whole night up. That being said, shout out to Mike Flanagan for killing me dead on my couch for this one.

10. Lake Mungo

Imagine going out into the night and seeing a figure coming towards you out of the darkness, and you learn that it’s your own bloated corpse staring right at you. This startled the ever-loving shit out of me, and I’m willing to bet I’m not alone here.

9. Hell House LLC

A perfect example of something so simple as a head-turn being effective and making you want to straight jump out of a window. This scene just elevated that whole movie and was worth the watch just for this alone.

8. JAWS

The oldest on this list and one that still haunts me is Ben Gardener’s severed head discovered by Hooper. Paired with John Williams score, it’s just classic. I can also appreciate that this same audio was used in JAWS 2 in the infamous unrated helicopter attack scene.

7. Friday the 13th

The music set this scene up for perfection and had us thinking it was all over upon a first-time viewing. A tried and true classic that’s been both copied and parodied countless times because of its perfect execution.

6. The Thing (1982)

One of the best things about this scene is when the blood reacts, it’s someone MacReady was not expecting, so he’s barely paying attention. It just comes out of nowhere for the audience, too. Fantastic work by Carpenter here, conditioning us into thinking nothing is going to happen and then BOOM.

5. Sinister

The lawnmower scene got me REAL good, and it is pure magic my friends. The foreboding atmosphere that surrounds the set-up to this is one of horror’s finest pieces of cinematic art.

4. Insidious

The appearance of what we all like to refer to as “Derpy Darth Maul” behind the head of Patrick Wilson has become one of the most infamous horror movie shots of modern times and with good reason. This scared the bejeezus out of nearly everyone who saw it for the first time. Now, it’s just hilarious to me, but that first go-around… OOOF.

3. Signs

I will forever champion this scene as one of the greatest, most tension-building set-ups of all time. The range of emotions you feel alongside Joaquin Phoenix as you stare in disbelief of what is unfolding right in front of you is an emotion I never forgot and sticks with me every time I see this.

2. Se7en

Listen. I nearly melted into my seat when I saw this in the movie theater as a teenager and is a prime example of how a jump scare can be done brilliantly. Of course, for added effect, none of the actors in this scene knew Vincent (Sloth) was going to move, so those reactions are genuine and ripple down towards us the viewer because that shit was terrifying. Also, I just love how they draw their weapons like he’s a zombie or something like that.

1. The Exorcist III

To absolutely no one’s surprise, the nurse and hospital hallway scene from The Exorcist III is the Mona Lisa of all horror movie jump scares. I saw this in the theater when I was eight-years-old, folks. My dad took me to see this along with my uncle and cousin, not giving two shits that he was supposed to be taking me to see Three Men and a Little Lady, I mean that’s what he told my mom anyway. While I was too young to understand a lot of what was going on, I understood one thing quite perfectly- that William Peter Blatty could successfully make me squirt lemonade in my pants.

Nothing has ever, and possibly will ever, top the tension-driven slow-build of the climatic fate of Nurse Keating. The silence of nothing but the rustling of papers and doors closing per a normal night shift desk job, with the security guards milling in and out of the scene, times it up so well. We are lulled into almost boredom until it happens, and it then knocks us right out of our chairs. But perhaps one of the biggest payoffs, is the fake-out jump scare that happens right before the big reveal, tricking us viewers into thinking the danger is gone. PERFECTION.

Tip of the Hat Mention: Silver Bullet

Growing up in a horror household, there wasn’t a lot that scared me as a kid, being as how I was watching things like Halloween and Jaws in my diapers. However, and I still can’t explain why, Stephen King’s Silver Bullet scared the ever-loving piss outta me. And particularly speaking, this scene in general where Joe Haller is poking around in Reverend Lowe’s garage. The music really helped set this one up and I KNEW something was coming. In the end it scared the crap out of me anyway and gave me nightmares for 2 weeks straight. That being said, Silver Bullet became one of my comfort movies after the trauma subsided and went to sleep with it almost everynight a few years later when I was a little older. Some kids go to bed with some Disney shit on the TV, I went to bed with Gary Busey wrasslin’ a werewolf.

Comment below with some of your favorite jump scare stories and scenes!

Lists, Wrestling Memories

[Video] Retro Wrestling’s 10 Greatest Wrestlemania Moments!

Image March 31, 2023 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

With Wrestlemania 34 looming over our heads like Shawn Michaels making that spectacular overhead entrance in Wrestlemania XII, I obviously wanted to take advantage here and dive into retro wrestling’s greatest Wrestlemania moments from years’ past!

If you’re a fan, (and hey who wasn’t in the ’80s and 90s), you can probably remember the first time you sat and watched the PayPer View spectacle that was (is), Wrestlemania. Whether you were lucky enough to be alive for the first or the twentieth, it stands as a sort of rite of passage for any wrestling fan to sit and enjoy the most important wrestling event of the year at least once at the time of airing. Bonus if you ever got to see the prestigious event loaded with neon spandex live in person! I myself never got to witness any major PayPer View events, BUT I was there when Earthquake performed animal murder (or at least my 9-year-old-self thought at the time) by cannon-balling his very large ass onto Jake “The Snake” Roberts’ bag that held the beloved Damian. And yes, the answer is I cried like a little bitch.

Anyway, beyond traumatic memories of dead pythons, be it that it is Wrestlemania weekend, I felt now would be a good time to look back on some of the greatest moments from the event throughout our childhood years. These moments shook us to our core, made us feel all the damn things, and have etched their iconic imprints onto the legacy that is, the glorious Wrestlemania. Here’s what I think is, in my humble opinion, of course, the ten greatest moments in retro Wrestlemania history!

10. The Mega-Powers Explode!

Wrestlemania V

The Madness and the Hulkster had a lot of back-and-forth throughout their wrestling careers. One minute they were bitter enemies, the next absolute butt-buddies. It was just a vicious cycle of fighting, followed by forgiveness and we ate it up every time. However, after the duo formed the ever-so-epic Mega Powers force and then had another falling out over a misunderstanding with Miss Elizabeth, we got the mighty conclusion of the pair’s quarrel that began over a woman and a jealous fit, at Wrestlemania V. This match, in particular, is everything I loved about retro wrestling. Two of the greatest icons, with a totally believable story behind it, raging war at Wrestlemania. Doesn’t get much better than that folks.

9. The Backlot Brawl

Wrestlemania XII

This match of all damn rages is not only memorable as it is but kind of hilarious. Listen, no one talks the kind of trash like Mr. Ass-Kicking Bubblegum himself, Roddy Piper. And when the weirdo Goldust (Dustin Rhodes) began sexually taunting the Hot Rod, our boy in plaid wasn’t having any of that shit. Thus bringing the Backlot Brawl to Wrestlemania VII so the pair could settle the score like REAL MEN. I feel like that fight scene in They Live was good practice for this match. However, Piper punched the Dust of Gold so hard, he ended up breaking his hand. And he kept going like nothing happened. Talk about commitment to the match!

8. Lovers Reunited

Wrestlemania VII

I certainly am not taking anything away from the pretty awesome career-ending match between Randy Savage and The Ultimate Warrior at the seventh installment of Wrestlemania. However, no one can deny this was the most memorable moment resulting from it. Elizabeth and Randy have been like peas and carrots throughout (almost) Savage’s career in the WWF to date here. So to watch the demise of Scary Sherri and the rise once again of what seemed to be, a stronger Elizabeth fall into the arms of the madness once more, was quite touching indeed.

7. Icon VS Icon

Wrestlemania XVIII

Before Dwayne Johnson was fighting off the jungle in Jumanji, The Rock was the sport’s biggest star and athlete during the Attitude Era at the WWE. So when we got to witness one generation’s wrestling icon square off against another, it was pretty much the coolest thing ever, (if you smell what the Patti is cookin’ over here). I know. Terrible joke. But I felt this was a proper way to pass the torch, so to speak, from Hogan to The Rock ushering in a new icon as the face of the industry. And it was pretty cool of Hogan to do that for him.

6. The Rattlesnake Takes On The Bull

Wrestlemania XVII

One year prior to The Rock taking on the Hulkster at Wrestlemania, he faced one of his toughest challenges to date with “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. These two phenoms WERE the top contenders during the attitude era, and have etched a legacy inside the ring worthy of standing alongside the greats before them. For the pair of fan favorites that ushered in a slew of unforgettable one-liners and ass-kicking finishing moves to finally face-off at the Superbowl events of wrestling, was truly a moment not to be forgotten anytime soon.. or ever for that matter.

5. The Ladder Oozes Machismo

Wrestlemania X

Never before had we seen a goddamn Ladder Match! And not since then, has one matched up to the power and glory as displayed between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon during the tenth Wrestlemania. Both athletes are some of the most exceptional executioners in the business, and the tense back and forth for the Intercontinental championship is definitely one of the best of all time.

4. Nothing But Hart and Gorey Glory

Wrestlemania XIII

Single-handedly, the role-reversal moment in history happened at Wrestlemania 13 during the match between Austin and the “Excellence of Execution” himself, “The Hitman” Bret Hart. And I don’t even think it was something that was meant to happen! Which it made it that much better. The intestinal fortitude of Austin’s character during the match gained a lot of favor with the crowd, which in turn, kind of pissed off Hart. Marking the beginning of Bret Hart’s lack of faith in the industry and heel turn, which he talks in depth about in his documentary Wrestling With Shadows.

3. The Ultimate Challenge

Wrestlemania VI

Much like earlier in this article with The Rock, Hogan set the stage to make another athlete an iconic superstar at Wrestlemania 6. While The Warrior’s (rest his soul) career didn’t have the longevity as Dwayne Johnson’s has, he’s no less recognizable as The Warrior has his own spot in infamous WWE history. In any regard, say what you want about the Hulkster, but he’s always been a team player when it comes to his fellow competitors. As with this explosive match in 1989, Hogan accepted defeat with dignity, and a new champion was born in the ring.

2. The Savage Steamboat Ride of Awesomeness

Wrestlemania III

Many consider the brawl between Macho Man and The Dragon at Wrestlemania III, to be one of the greatest of all time. And goddamn if I don’t agree with said people. Here we have two highly technical athletes who make this match look like a fuckin’ ballet of the ring. Everything about it is perfect and should be studied by any person looking to make a career in the sport. Or hell, just for the fun of it because it’s just that good. The brawl wasn’t even the main event, but it certainly stole the show. Mostly due to Savage’s role in the process of tediously planning every single move in the match, as Ricky Steamboat told Wrestling Observer Radio.

“It got to the point to where I would turn page after page after page in my notebook and then at about the fourth page, I’d say, ‘Okay this is step 112. I’m going to do this, this, and this. Tell me the rest of the match.’ And he would go through and tell me the rest of the match. And then he would get his book out and he would flip through same pages and he would go ‘Okay I’m on step number 86, and I’m going to be doing this, this, and this, tell me the rest of the match.”

1. The Giant Slam Heard Around The World

Wrestlemania III

The only thing that can top the Steamboat/Savage interlocking dance of athletic ability, is this moment right here. The moment that forever etched Hogan as the true immortal and a man of real power and strength. It was heavily rumored at the time Hogan would try and slam the mighty Andre, but no one actually believed he could bodyslam the seven-foot-plus, 500-pound legend in the ring. That being said, the top two spots here confirm what I’ve always believed: that Wrestlemania III just might be, the greatest WWE ticket to date. It truly was a magical time for the sport, and when Andre humbly ended his undefeated 15-year streak at the company to the Hulkster, it made us really want to take those vitamins and say our prayers to no end.