Retro Halloween Treat! Return To Oz

Image September 28, 2024 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

In 1939, the literary works of L. Frank Baum landed on the big screen in the timeless masterpiece The Wizard of Oz opened a portal of visual fantasy and storytelling the likes have never seen before and, for generations, has undoubtedly, reserved its place as a landmark of important cinema. However, fans, then and to this day, of the original books know damn well the movie is lacking in the wild and incubus spirit of Baum’s Oz books.

50 years later, the Wheelers and decapitated screaming heads remedied that complaint.

In the early 80s, Disney Studios had a beautiful streak of what we now know as, the Dark Disney days when the films coming out of the family-friendly studios leaned into an almost horror gateway for kids with the dark and serious undertones. Also, it’s my favorite Disney era where armies of skeletons ran amok in The Black Cauldron with no whimsical, musical interruptions. For years, the studio had hoped to one day create a follow-up to The Wizard of Oz and as such bought the rights to the remaining books in the series. Walter Murch who expressed an interest in the project, (editor for The Godfather and Apocalypse Now), met with Disney and ultimately gave the audiences of 1985 his directorial debut with Return to Oz.

Now the decapitated heads are making a lot more sense, eh? Actually, for those not in the know, that bit was taken from Baum’s “The Marvelous Land Of Oz”, along with Mombi and The Wheelers who made their debut in the second book of the OZ series. So, it was certainly faithful to the source material!

Much like Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Baum’s OZ series had some seriously dark content and, as the books rolled out through the years, they became even more nightmare-inducing as the readers matured and began noticing the horrors of the reality surrounding them. Especially since a few of them were released during the first World War. So much for escapism, eh? Murch very much wanted to capture Frank L. Baum’s true vision, so it was quite a shock to audiences when instead of getting an Over The Rainbow, munchkin giddy, heart-warming tale, we got a rotted and broken Yellow Brick Road, all of OZ pretty much dead by way of turning to stone, and Dorothy sent to the mental institution for shock treatment. And it all takes place in the month of October.

IT’S A HALLOWEEN HORROR MOVIE WITH OZ AS A BACKDROP. And I will die on this hill.

The film opens on an age-appropriate Dorothy (eleven-year-old Fairuza Balk), six months after the tornado hit Kansas. The joyful bedside reunion at the end of The Wizard Of Oz is now replaced with Aunt Em’s (Piper Laurie from Carrie fame) growing concern over her troubled niece who now, can’t sleep and won’t stop mumbling about walking scarecrows and ruby slippers. So what’s their ideal solution? Electric shock therapy, folks. From this point on, the film starts doing what it does best: scaring kids from here to next Tuesday… and I’M HERE FOR IT!

The Patients Have Been Damaged

After being dropped off at a turn-of-the-century hospital, Dorothy is locked in her room, where a young girl appears at her door like a damn ghost holding a porcelain jack-o-lantern, giving Balk a friendly reminder that Halloween is soon… and quickly disappears as quick as she came. The psychiatric hospital sequence is creepy as hell and might be some of the film’s most brilliant and effective shots, especially by borrowing some staple shots from the horror genre. A storm suddenly erupts, a menacing zoom on a closed door, and light bulbs swing from the ceiling. It’s all textbook horror tropes that we all know something sinister is afoot and the fuckery is about to commence.

As Dorothy is strapped down and left alone after, surprise, the storm takes the electricity out, the ghostly girl appears once again and releases Dorothy while telling her this doctor is pretty much insane and has patients damaged… locked in the cellar. It’s time to flee, girls! But alas, a raging river caused by the storm separates the girls and Gale floats off to Oz, while her companion drowns. At least that’s what is presumed, anyway-in a deleted scene, she was never found. Towards the end, the girl is revealed to be OZMA, the Queen and rightful ruler of OZ. All of which leads me to believe, and it’s just my own theory, that she returned to her imprisoned place in Oz, which was back inside the mirrors.

A Gloomy OZ

Once Dorothy reaches her OZ destination with one of her chickens from the Gale farm, Belina, who is magically at her side and able to talk, we’re immediately taken into what a dangerous place OZ truly is. From the Deadly Desert where if your feet touch the sand, you do the Crissy Crumble into sand yourself, to the Yellow Brick Road destroyed-The Land of Oz has become a desolate place where life has just dissipated. The atmosphere itself from Dorothy’s first step back into this once fantastical world is pure doom and gloom with such a sinister presence. Even the trees mock her as she races towards OZ.

Oh and the rocks. Those smirky rocks. The entire sequence gives off a something is fucked up here is a very creepy place and I love it. And the empty Oz sets the stage for the arrival of one of Baum’s scariest inventions, the Wheelers.

The Wheelers, Mombi, and The Nome King

Instead of just dodging a pissed off witch, Gale, and company have to duck and dive through an entire gang of entirely fucked up antagonists that are 1000 times worse than “I’ll get you my little pretty“.

The Wheelers are a hybrid of human with squeaky shopping cart wheels for appendages cyberpunk gang, and are the stuff of nightmares folks.

For those that never caught it, the nails on the chalkboard sound they make on their approach, the same screech we last hear from the unoiled hospital trolley wheels as Dorothy is being pushed to shock therapy. Quite a nice touch and devious as hell.

The witch Mombi, for me as a kid, was outright horrifying. When Dorothy meets with Mombi she is taken to a room filled with disembodied heads locked in cabinets that stare at her as she walks past, and then reveals she like Dorothy’s head as well so she’s just gonna keep her locked up in a room until she’s ready to take it for herself.

With the help of Jack Pumpkinhead, who was imprisoned alongside her, Dorothy breaks out and makes her way into the severed head room to steal the Powder of Life while all the heads are asleep.. She accidentally wakes them all up, and they all start screaming their heads off… heh…to awaken a headless Mombi. It’s probably the single most horrifying scene in a children’s film.

That “Dorothy Gaaaaaale!” screech haunts me in my sleep.

And then, there’s the Nome King, who is pretty much responsible for OZ being in ruins and the Scarecrow’s disappearance along with turning the residents of the Emerald City to stone and making trinkets out of the important figures. His claymation minions have been seen throughout the picture to spy on Dorothy and pull Frankie Howerd faces- and he’s been able to do this all with the help of the Ruby Slippers that “just fell out of the sky one day” and he seized them along with an opportunity to rule over OZ’s inhabitants.

This is one gnarly and diabolical motherfucker. Mombi and The Wheelers are horrifying on their own, but they tremble in his presence. And when he learns that Mombi had Dorothy and let her escape… let me rephrase that, “LET HER ESCAPE!!!!!!” he turns into a fucking nightmare and is ready to kill Dorothy and her friends, starting with Jack as he look like a delicious Pre-Thanksgiving pumpkin Pie to him. That is until Belina shits an egg in his mouth. Apparently, eggs are poison to nomes. Go figure, eh?

This entire scene is just a carnival of nightmares. The Scareceow is running around with a very alive head of the Gump, (what is with Baum and severed heads)? The absolute terror on all of their faces speaking of which, gotta love those effects done on Jack where he can express these emotions with the extension of just his head, and the labyrinth of wall nomes screeching along the way. Not to mention the Nome King’s slow death. Dark Disney rules.

Jack Pumpkinhead and the Gang of Misfits

Beyond the obvious horror tropes this movie reeks beautifully of and the fact it’s notably set place in October 1899, perhaps one of the most obvious nods that seals the deal to make this a Halloween treat of a film, is Jack Pumpkinhead.

Put together by OZMA, the Queen of Oz in an attempt to use him to scare off Mombi, he is instead captured by the witch because he basically has the mannerisms of a 6-year-old who just wants his “mom”. He isn’t scary by any means, but he sure is adorable.

Worth noting that Tim Burton himself has cited that the inspiration behind Jack Skellington in THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS was good ol’ Jack here from RETURN TO OZ.

With all that said, with the film undoubtedly labeled as a dark fantasy, I’ve always considered RETURN TO OZ even more so, a gateway to horror and a wonderous unintentional movie to watch during the Halloween season. The setting is just right to hit all the notes to give me those pre-Halloween fuzzies. Plus, the movie just rules in itself. In my humble opinion, it’s the BEST OZ movie ever done, outshining the 1939 classic. Yeah, I said it. Fight me.

RETURN TO OZ is currently streaming on Disney+. For me personally, I’ll just watch it on my old Maxwell VHS where it was recorded for me when I was three; right in between GREMLINS and GARFIELD’S HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE. It’s the only way to honor this delightful Halloween treat.

Editorials

Casualties Of Horror: Let’s Look At The Other “Halloween” Victims That Weren’t Killed By Michael Myers

Image September 23, 2024 Patti PaulterGeist 1 Comment

Let’s face it. Generally, most victims of the Halloween franchise don’t deserve to get gutted like a jack-o-lantern; and by an escaped lunatic at that. But what about the “casualties of the horror movie”? You know, the people not directly killed off by Michael Myers, but suffered an agonizing death for the sake of moving the film along. I mean, that’s pretty fucked up when you think about it. These people, who through no fault of their own nor had any connection really to the true victims’ in question, ended up getting fucked over all in the name of the slasher film.

And I’m here to salute the lot of you. So let’s celebrate in remembrance of the victims of the Halloween series for their civic horror service duty.

Ben Tramer

Poor Ben Tramer never got his giddy date with Laurie. Good ol’ Ben was mentioned in the first film as a particular love interest via Laurie, and Annie, later on, spilled the beans to him over the phone; embarrassing the ever-loving shit out of Laurie. In the sequel, we never see his face as he’s wearing the same mask as Myers, stumbling along on Halloween night in the middle of a manhunt for Michael. Spotted by Loomis, the doctor runs after him waving his gun, probably scaring the shit out of the kid who’s already pretty tipsy from a Halloween party. I’m sure the anxiety of the situation disorientates him as he walks in the middle of the road to his dire fate. A patrolman tries to screech to a halt, but the kid is hit and then smashed into another vehicle crushing his body; and then the cars explode, sealing the death deal! What a fucked up way to die.

Anyway, here’s the closest we ever got to see Ben’s actual face and the aftermath of the accident.

Buddy Kupfer Jr

Yeah so ok, everyone in Season of the Witch was killed off by Cochran and his goons while having nothing to do with the rest of the franchise or Myers entirely, but goddamn was this brutal, and hey; he and his family weren’t killed by Myers so I’ll allow it!

Anyway, we all know the masks are a disguised killing machine for kids all over the world that’s activated by the Silver Shamrock commercial. So when Dr. Challis gets to watch a demonstration of the masks work via the companies’ top salesmen and his family, it’s well… beyond messed up and an awful way to die, especially for a kid! I mean, holy shit this is overkill like that poor boy from Toxic Avenger. Cochran really hates children and in many ways, I think is WAY eviler than Michael. Say what you will about Myers, but he’s no child killer. (Not counting the newer films anyway).

Ted Hollister

“Shiiiyet Earl, it’s Ted Hollister!” – never gets old.

Another face we never get to see, (although the shooters claim to have seen it, LOL) is that of Ted Hollister, a random resident of Haddonfield in Halloween 4. Seeing as how the city’s police force had already been mostly wiped out from Myers, this lynch mob of private justice was the town’s only hope. Shot to death by Earl Ford, Allan and Orin Gateway, and Unger in overkill fashion in a frenzy of panic and anger as Myers is on the rampage yet again in his hometown. Guy was most likely sitting there enjoying that wonderful neighborhood ambiance on a Halloween night and got nailed for it with multiple shotgun blasts.

Dr. Terence Wynn

Dr. Terence Wynn is a character who first appeared in the original Halloween, played by Robert Phalen and presumably, Loomis’ superior. We don’t actually find out the “man in black” as presented in Halloween 5 is actually him until Curse of Michael Myers in 1995; but goddamn did he go on a rampage shooting up Ben Meeker and his entire police station in an effort to help Myers escape from his jail cell; AND with a machine gun! I guess being in the Cult of Thorn grants you access to high-powered firearms. ‘Merica.

H20’S Paramedic

Oh boy, this guy was an essential story and plot point to that Resurrection mess and all he get’s credited as is the “paramedic”. Now if that isn’t as fucked up as it gets then I don’t even know what could possibly surpass that. Getting mistakenly beheaded by Laurie and we don’t even have the name for the guy that sets it all up for Myers to return?!

Get the fuck outta here. Frank. Let’s call him Frank.

WE SALUTE YOU FRANK.

Willy The Kid/ Corey’s Bullies

Oh, Corey. So many people hated Halloween Ends, and in perfect Charles Cyphers fashion, everyone is entitled to one good-or bad opinion. Most of that hate stemmed from the fact most of the kills were performed by the new shape, Corey Cunnigham, as Myers at this point was withering away in a sewer like an old man. But, you know what? I rather enjoyed this fresh take. Sometimes it’s nice to see something new and different, ( Season of the Witch anyone)? I cheered for Corey. I wanted him to take down the bullies in particular. The ending was shit and sloppy as hell but everything else up to that point was pure glee for me personally. Love him or hate him, these kills were pretty cool and Michael Myers approved.

Special Consideration: Everyone Else at Haddonfield Hospital Killed in the Fire?

Why don’t we ever talk about the fact that Loomis, YES LOOMIS, blew up an entire wing of a hospital along with everyone in it just to kill Michael? I mean, that’s basic homicidal maniac behavior. And let’s not forget there were newborn babies in that place! Were they apart of that death count? No one can say for certain, however, if you recall from the Halloween II clip below where the deputy is accounting for “ten bodies so far” leads us to assume and acknowledge that the final death count has yet to be tallied.

Beyond the fire itself, the clinic, as it’s referred to isn’t that big as compared to a normal hospital square footage, and the smoke alone would travel from a gas blast such as that to other areas of the building rather quickly. I’m just not buying it that they all lived just fine through that wreckage. Which is absolutely devastating to even think about.

Anyways, thanks casualties of Halloween for laying down your lives for plot points. You deserve to be recognized.

Cool shit to buy, Home Video Releases

Make it the Ultimate Retro Halloween With Here Lies’ HALLOWEEN COMPANION VHS Collection!

Image September 7, 2024 Patti PaulterGeist 1 Comment

At this point, it’s almost become cliché to state the obvious: that Halloween wasn’t what it once was 40, 30, or hell even 10 years ago. The magic and beautiful mayhem of it has been lost by flashy, cheap décor, over-the-top yet underwhelming haunted houses, and what little treats given on Halloween night are simply pathetic compared to the spooky delights of yesteryear. I mean, yeah sure, I’m the Halloween nostalgic Queen and all, so I may be a bit biased, but I’d take the Universal Monster Pepsi Challenge any day of the week with anyone that wants to argue with me.

Just don’t forget the Ranch dip to go with some Cooler Ranch Doritos because you’re going to need the calories to fight me on this one.

Speaking of glorious Halloween commercials, exactly how often do we see them these days? Modern technology of streaming apps and social media has pretty much wiped out any television advertising for both big and small business brands and solely rely on platforms such as TikTok and Instagram and willing “influencers” to do their bidding for them without shelling out the big bucks for any advertisement slots. Shit, the commercials we DO see on streaming services such as HULU, are all ads for big pharma and greasy politicians. It’s such an eyesore to my senses and what I wouldn’t give to just see Captain Lou Albano pimping out a local Pharmacy for their on the spot Halloween deals…

Oh, wait… YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN NOW!

Emmy award-winning producer and nostalgic VHS warlock, Eddie Spuhghetti, has opened the doors to the memories of what once was (so long as you have a VCR anyway). Eddie has curated several series’ of VHS tapes dedicated to the Halloween season that are fully-loaded with 6 hours of commercials from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, Halloween special episodes, one movie, and seasonal bumpers galore. It’s enough to make any retro Halloween maniac to have countless spookgasms during a viewing.

I spent a week watching volume 3 and although you would think most of the placements would be totally random; they most certainly aren’t. Each commercial, bumper, and television special are meticulously placed to keep a flow of what you would naturally see if you were watching television on a crispy 80s October night. Though I don’t want to give too much away as far as what’s exactly on there, because I feel like you should be surprised like I was, I can say it’s a stream of Halloween fuzzies that made me sore from smiling so much. Worth mentioning, the movie I got to see on Volume 3 was custom converted to black and white, and it’s an 80s film. Never did I think this film would look amazing this way, but considering the material, it works- and it works WELL. The only clue I’ll give you is that it’s a 1983 movie and a sequel. That’s actually probably too much of a hint, but it’s devastating to have to keep something like a secret. What I can say, though, in no doubt, is that my absolute favorite thing about the tapes, is the LOCAL bumpers and commercials that are mixed in with mainstream ones. It’s exactly what I would remember watching when I was a kid, with short ads for local pharmacies and costume stores promoting their October specials. Also worth mentioning the movie that’s inserted in each tape, Eddie made custom “We’ll be right back” bumpers to add to the local TV movie feel of it.

It’s just too damn glorious.

Oh, and then there’s this guy. You might see him around from time to time.

Eddie Spuhghetti started creating tapes 12 years ago, and it started with a Halloween companion that was the meal of the hour at Halloween parties. While studying TV Broadcasting, he figured out how to capture and record content to use in course projects, and before he knew what he had, he had created a prototype for what would turn into a series of themed 6 hour-long VHS tapes that range from Halloween, to Summer vibes, to even Christmas ones as well! All without one piece of repeated content!

Interest rose from horror blogger friends, and he made the tapes available through a website and brand he created, HERELIES.COM.

Via Eddie Spuhghetti:

“I made the tapes available for purchase via donating towards my horror project (costs for shipping accessories, the tape media itself, etc…). This evolved into four proper Halloween Companions, one Xmas tape (another one is in the works) and a Summer series that focuses on late night TV during specific time periods. I aim in giving the viewer an experience that entertains but also hits some emotional tones-unlocking some forgotten pleasant memories while bringing new light to things they never knew existed! The tapes also work great for background atmosphere while you work, at parties or live events!”

As someone who watched an entire six hours of footage on one of these, he absolutely hit the nail on the head with what he set out to do.

For the Halloween tapes in particular, each VHS is a flat $15 donation with the exception of the newest addition, Volume 4 which contains 3D parts and comes with 3D glasses which runs at $25; all with a $10 shipping fee. If you own a VCR, and bask in the nostalgia of yesteryear, this is a no-brainer must have companion. Grab your copy of choice HERE at HERELIES.COM!

I also goddamn appreciate the fact that the Halloween 4 intro was placed in my version and remixed with Halloween III synth wave music. You have a fan for life, sir.

You can follow HERELIES on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for updates!