Tag Archives: Nightmare Nostalgia

Sonic BOOM! It’s The 1993 Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. KIDDING, but hey, I couldn’t help myself. But seriously, as far back as I can recall, many Turkey Day moons ago, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade was always a tradition in our house on Turkey Day. Waking up every year as a kid to my grandmother already roasting the turkey and my dad shucking clams in the kitchen for Clams Oreganata as the Macy’s parade began on the television, is one of my favorite pieces of memory nostalgia. I’m forever a Halloween girl, but Thanksgiving is really not far behind as the day was a huge event for our large New York, bred-mouthy Italian family. And it was never complete without, of course, said parade here at least serving as background noise.

Also, my brother and I could never watch the parade without this Charlie Brown junk food feast being served promptly at 10 AM; as per tradition and to this very day, I still put together this monstrosity for nostalgia’s sake and per the request of my own brilliant children from their blockhead of a mother.

For the past few years, I’ve selectively talked about a couple of Macy’s parades here on the blog for November, and this year ain’t no different folks. Today, we’re rewinding 30 years back to 1993 and the 67th annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade held on November 25th, 1993 on a very windy Turkey Day morning that ended up causing a bit of chaos on the parade balloon front that would make this one of the more memorable parades of the past few decades for those that witnessed it.

Joining the alumni balloons of Ronald McDonald, Garfield, and Bart Simpson were parade first-timers Rex (We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story), that loveable Saint Bernard Beethoven, and of course, the newly crowned console king-Sonic the Hedgehog as SEGA was massively outperforming Nintendo in 1993. However, the hedgehog’s huge head over the console war domination would be deflated courtesy of strong winds blowing over 6th Avenue, leaving spectators scrambling out of fear and injuring two people in the process.

Of course, this was never shown on live TV, but most people knew about the incident and saw pictures via the news of the deflated balloon on the ground. However, footage of the big pop itself went mysteriously missing for years up until 2019 when ABC7NY released archival footage showing the pop that really did sound like a sonic boom, ironically.

Another fatality of the weather that day was ol’ boy Rex. Fate would have it that Rex’s inclusion in the parade would be a perfect example of irony because the movie’s main set piece is a musical number set during the Macy’s Parade where Rex pops a dinosaur balloon. Hilariously enough, the Macy’s Rex head popped at pretty much the beginning of the parade route and instead of removing the balloon entirely, those determined bastards at Macy’s let a headless Rex roam down 6th Avenue and beyond, not giving any fucks about it. The live program swapped in footage from the test flight prior to the parade (notice the complete lack of buildings and different color sky?) and towards the end, cut to a live shot carefully framed to try and hide the deflated noggin of the cartoon dinosaur.

Fantastic.

I mean, the whole parade wasn’t a complete nightmare. We had world-renowned singing artists Shari Lewis with Lambchop and Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas singing Christmas songs!?

Umm, Ok. Maybe it was pretty bad. But hey, let’s watch the shit show together, shall we? At least Bart Simpson rode those winds like the pro he was, even though the winds carved through his ribs like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Grab your plate of popcorn, toast, and jellybeans for this one!

Ivan Drago: The Horror Icon of the Rocky Franchise

As a youngling, and to this very day, Stallone’s Rocky character was and is my goddamn hero. The message of the Rocky films, and the character itself is so powerful-which is why it remains such a time-honored classic. Never give up, chase your dreams, and be the best you, you can be. A solid lesson in life that any adult or child should take and run with. As a kid, I was obsessed with these movies (I still totally am) because of the exuberant heart this franchise lies on the line.

OK, the sweet-ass montages might play a part in this as well. Warning: Watching this video may cause a sudden sprout of chest hairs. 

Now, by the time Rocky IV came around in 1985, our Italian Stallion seemed to be on top of the world. He’s the undisputed champion, gained a best friend in his two-time opponent Apollo Creed, and has more money than I think he knows how to spend- I mean, the guy is buying robot slaves for people’s birthdays. Must be nice, eh? Things seem exactly where they should be in Roc’s life, and seriously, nobody deserves it more than him.

But that’s how most horror movies start out, isn’t it?

An up-and-coming Russian boxer, Ivan Drago, invades into the US with his Olympic Gold-medalist wife, and his evil as Hell political posse looking to pick a fight with Balboa. They figure he’s the best, so why not go straight for it. However, Creed who is a bit past his prime opts to fight in an exhibition match with the silent blonde giant in what seems like the result of both a little jealousy, and the fact he needs to prove he’s still got it as a fighter.

BIG MISTAKE THERE BUDDY- IT AIN’T ALL IN THE HIPS.

The sequence we see before the actual match between Drago and Creed, scared the literal crap out of me as a kid. I mean, his silent stance and glaring eyes are intimidating enough. His character really doesn’t need any extra help to look like a goddamn murderer waiting to snap. But hey, enter composing score genius Vince DiCola, and everyone is about to shit their pants.

Then what happens? Drago KILLS Creed. Completely pulverizes this man’s face and bashes his brain in until Apollo is left twitching on the mat. All as his poor wife looks on in horror. As a kid seeing this for the first time, I just sat there and cried my damn eyeballs out. I couldn’t believe this shit. This monster, glaring into Rocky’s eyes, while wife Ludmilla (Brigitte Nielson)  is sitting at her table smoking and smirking like a jerkoff, expresses zero emotion with no fucks given for what he just did. Them’s are the traits of a classic serial killer folks.

“If he dies, he dies..”

What a heartless asshole.

So of course, Rocky needs to seek his vengeance. He heads to Russia (per the terms to fight Drago), grows an epic beard, and trains like a madman to face his most challenging and scariest opponent to date. While an argument can be made that Drago was controlled and treated like a lab rat by his handlers, I like to think he had some sort of control of what he was doing. Towards the end of the fight with Rocky, he clearly lets the higher powers know he IS running the show. So perhaps he’s been influenced a tad, but I really don’t think they were totally to blame here.

In actuality, we really don’t know anything about Drago or his background before his fight with Creed- expect for he was a soldier. The absence of understanding what makes him tick, his tense presence, and that spine-shivering Drago Suite make him a scary character in the world of cinema indeed. I could even go as far to compare him to Michael Myers. Oh yes, we’re going there. Everything I just said about Drago, applies to Haddonfield’s finest maniac as well. Regarding the first Halloween film, Myers was an effective and scary-as-hell villain because he had no rhyme or reason, no background explanation and John Carpenter’s chilling score made him all that much more frightening.

So yeah, as a child fearing for the life of my beloved hero at the hands of a soulless, steroid-infused boxer was quite terrifying by any means. I’m not going to lie, hearing that DiCola theme still gives me a bit of the skeevies. So here’s to you Ivan Drago: the unnamed horror icon hiding in plain sight inside the Rocky franchise.

Worth noting, however, that they missed a glorious opportunity in CREED 2 to bring back the Drago Suite. I would have had a happy heart attack.

Rocky IV

Tainted Candy: The Most Unnerving Scene In “Halloween II”

I’ve said it a million times. HALLOWEEN II is by far, in my humble opinion anyway, the scariest of the franchise and is rightfully so for many reasons. HALLOWEEN II goes harder in just about every aspect, from the angrier music as a metaphor for a more pissed-off Myers, to the minute details scattered around the film. One in particular, shoved in by John Carpenter that is brief in nature, but perhaps the most fucked up moment in the whole movie.

And it had nothing to do with Michael Myers.

While Laurie Strode is being tended to her wounds by a drunken Dr. Mixter inside Haddonfield Memorial, a car pulls up to the front of the entrance with a frantic mother gently easing her son dressed as a pirate, out of the car and the kid is gushing blood from his mouth as we can see something shiny stuck up in there good. ‘m going to be completely honest because when I saw this as a kid, I thought it was a fuckin’ ice cube. Maybe it was the low definition on my crappy TV, but I went for YEARS thinking this kid had an ice cube stuck in his mouth. Did it make sense? Not a bit. Did I ever question it? Hell no. All I understood was that shit looked like it hurt and when I finally found out it was an actual razor blade from a piece of candy, it was like an emphatic moment of HOLY SHIT for me, and it just made that movie so much scarier.

We only see the mom and son duo two more times-once checking in and being told to wait as the frustrated mom is putting pressure on her kid’s jaw, and then again upon discharge outside the hospital where Gary French (yes, the kid actually has a name) and mom Leigh, (hey, so does the mom!) attempt to have a conversation, but the kid’s words are muddled from the injury and although Gary lives to see another Halloween, he’s obviously scarred for life.

Watching (and realizing) what I was seeing within that scene as a child, and now a parent myself, just makes it that much more chilling knowing these things have absolutely happened. The genius of John Carpenter sticking this out-of-pocket, non-essential plot point in HALLOWEEN II, comes on the heels of mass hysteria of stories of crazed people tainting candy for trick-or-treaters with poison and, of course, razor blades. The first documented incidents go back to the 1950s, where a California dentist laced over 400 pieces of candy with laxatives, sickening over 30 kids. As if kids aren’t scared enough of the dentist! Another incident came in the 1960s where a mother in New York handed out bags of treats containing arsenic-laced ant traps, metal mesh scrubbing pads and dog biscuits. In the 70s, a boy was killed by ingesting a pixie stick laced with cyanide by his own father, who used the legend of poisoned treated on Halloween to attempt to thwart the suspicion away from him. In Minneapolis, in 2000, James J. Smith, 49, was charged with felony adulteration after four teenagers told police they received chocolate bars that were later found to contain needles. As recent as 2022, a child in New York found a razor blade inside a candy bar she got while trick-or-treating. Bringing this John Carpenter’s horrifying scene here, full circle.

PSAs began in the early 70s, warning children and parents about Halloween dangers in the form of educational videos, and after the infamous Tylenol murders of 1982, one year after the release of HALLOWEEN II, the fears of product tampering reached an all-time high, especially around Halloween, and in 1985, another national PSA video was made containing fifteen-minutes beginning with glorious Ben Cooper masks dancing across the screen to some serious disco music. It tackles such pressing issues as the importance of safe pumpkin carving, costume dos and don’ts, and the all-important candy inspection before digging into your sugar haul for the night. 

Seriously, this thing rocks. Sure, it’s slightly dated, but the message still applies.

Many people shrug off the Halloween candy story as just that, a scary story. And while it’s true, most cases of reports seem to be unfounded and the biggest threat of a kid’s Halloween bucket is a sugar-induced stomachache, urban legends notoriously become reality in the minds of crazed folks where the myth turned into a real-life danger for unknowing innocents. Knowing that John Carpenter really didn’t want to do a sequel to his immortal classic and had a vision of his Halloween films exploring the horror holiday’s urban legends and cautionary tales of lore, this scene in itself, doesn’t seem so, out-of-pocket after all. Speaking plainly now, it truly is the most unnerving part of the entire film as the reality lines blur from Terminator Myers hunting down Laurie in a hospital, into something we know has, can, and may happen again somewhere; and that’s what makes it so terrifying.

So, is this scene the most messed up in the movie? I’ll let Dr. Loomis answer that one…