Tag Archives: Nightmare Nostalgia

Review: How To Survive A Human Attack- A Guide For Movie Monsters

Image September 10, 2021 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

Are you a werewolf, mummy, or simply a ghost trying to just live your damn life human free? Did you also know that human attacks account for 100% of premature deaths for witches, cyborgs, and other supernatural beings? Well KE Flann’s new book, “How To Survive A Human Attack” is certainly a must have for your conversation starter coffin table in the living-dead room of your home. Or hey, if you’re just a nasty human, you may as well brush up on some basic human behavioral skills here, as you may actually find some helpful hints for yourself.

This handy parody book is a deep dive into how to be on point in your supernatural body; whether you’re a zombie learning how to bite into a skull properly, or an aging vampire not knowing the basics of how to use a computer, the book has an array of picture-filled, and detailed chapters on guiding monsters through these very scenarios.

However, even through the What We Do In The Shadows style of storytelling in this mock book guide, there are some pretty compelling talking points on the psychology of human behavior from the “monsters” point of view. As a matter of fact, after getting through the entire book I felt like a dirty, nasty human that feels the need to apologize on behalf of the entire human race to all the supernatural beings out there.

“How To Survive A Human Attack”, is comedic, compelling, and perfect for any Horror or Science Fiction aficionado. It truly was a fun read and I think anyone who appreciates just about anything monster-related, will as well.

About the Author:

K.E. Flann’s writing has been featured in The North American Review, Shenandoah, and Michigan Quarterly Review, and a collection of short stories won the 2014 George Garrett Award at Texas Review Press. Excerpts from this incredibly important work have appeared or will appear in Word Riot, The Higgs Weldon, Defenestration, and Monkeybicycle.

Pick it up on Amazon here!

Editorials

Six Degrees of Slasher Seperation: Robert Englund Worked On “Halloween” 1978

Image September 5, 2021 Patti PaulterGeist Leave a comment

Six years before Robert Englund strapped on the infamous glove, the Freddy Krueger actor had an uncredited role in the iconic John Carpenter “immortal classic”, Halloween.

Six degrees of slasher separation is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

As most seasoned Halloween fans are aware, the 1978 slasher classic was filmed in Pasadena, CA- and beyond the occasional slip up of a palm tree in the background, Carpenter and the crew did a bang-up jib of making audiences believe we were looking at a small town somewhere in the Midwest- the fictional Haddonfield. Hell, I was fooled as a kid before I actually knew better, because I thought Haddonfield was a real place until I was like, twelve.

To be young and naïve is also, such a beautiful thing.

Anyways, during filming Englund was a struggling actor in the Hollywood area, and through an interview with Access, spilled the blood beans on his connection tot he Halloween franchise- that he actually worked on set for one day as a volunteer with his roommate, throwing leaves around set to give the film its Fall ambience!

“I actually had a roommate back when they did the original Halloween, the John Carpenter one. And he conned me into going to Pasadena one day with garbage bags full of dead leaves and we were working on the set of the original Halloween movie. Throwing the dead leaves around so it looked like Autumn, so it looked like Fall back in the Midwest.“

Needless to say, it’s a pretty cool tidbit of horror trivia, and obviously the town of ~~Pasadena~~, I mean, Haddonfield, was obviously spared a slasher duo of unbridled terror that day. That was more or less saved for the kids of Elm Street when Krueger met up with Voorhees in 2004.

Editorials

The Windows 98′ Mystery Haunted House Screensaver- And How To Get It Back!

Image September 3, 2021 Patti PaulterGeist 4 Comments

Most us kids back in the late 90s’ were just getting acquainted with the shiny new internet. AOL, Microsoft Paint, Napstar, and don’t forget before we had memes and GIFS to use to add some flair to our AOL chats, we had soundboards. These were especially useful to an immature fifteen-year-old like myself, interrupting chatrooms with sounds of Donald Duck getting a BJ– go ahead, click and try not to laugh.

Anyway, beyond messing with people, we agonized over setting up our toys in a perfect fashion- and screensavers were a BIG DEAL. Well, as a teenager it was pretty close to the top of the list of importance- we definitely didn’t care about site security, only aesthetics. Probably why more than half of us ended up with viruses that cost our parents’ a wad of cash to fix and suspension of computer privileges’. That being said, the ONE screensaver that was LIFE came with Windows 98, and is of course, the Mystery Haunted House Screensaver.

Starting off with a couple of booming organ pipes reminiscent to a Phantom type deal, the animated mystery house screensaver is just animated enough to where it didn’t drive anyone crazy. In fact, it was mostly pretty chill compared to that of flying toasters, but the illuminated haunted ambience was thrilling for horror nerds like myself.

The occasional creaking sounds and the cackling owl perched in the Poltergeist tree in front, made up most of what the screensaver has to offer in sound bites, but if you actually sit and watch it like the psycho I am, you’ll find all kinds of wonderous little details in the Mystery House. With the Full Moon and bats moving in the background in time, the house windows would randomly light up every now and again. Timestamping at about every two-minutes , the front door would open and close, giving a peak into the house- which wasn’t much to see other than a possible second door?

The bit I always waited for on the edge of seat though, was the bearded man in the left front window looking suspicious of his surroundings with a candelabra in his hand in what looks like, the living den of the house. I’ve scrutinized over this image endlessly, and it looks like there’s a few bookcases with a bench seat in the background.

I have way too much time on my hands sometimes.